I tried to do 100% boy mode

[tall_brianna]

... I couldn't.

The other night I was out with friends, mixed crowd.

After showering, I started off convincing myself that I was going 100% male mode. I put on the distinctly male deodorant and cologne (well that might be unisex - I like it way too much :)). I got dressed complete with boxers and while I wasn't by any sense scrubby - ColeHaan black shoes, hilfiger jeans 32 (I can easily fit in a 30) and an orange striped polo I got at WE.

I looked at myself and just went "bleh". Something about the Jeans I just didn't like. I don't know if it was the fit, lack of flare or what. So that led to reaching in an grabbing the least girly pair of womens 30L lucky jeans. I put them on and , yep, you could see the boxers kind of bunching up. No problem, I thought, I've got boxer-briefs (mens) that I use to wear when I work out. Of course, right next to those are sitting the underarmor womens boy-cut knickers.

It was at this point that I finally asked myself, who am I doing this for? Who am I dressing to please and why? Is it to avoid potential self humiliation or to avoid making others uncomfortable?

I never answered those questions but instead decided that it was better to just accurately represent the image that most closely matched how I felt.

Is that selfish?

I'm going to get a big test over Thanksgiving. I'm going to a friends who doesn't know and is the biggest guy's guy I know. I know telling him will be the end of our friendship as we know it. Don’t think of him as intolerant, he’s just a big dumb mammal with a heart of gold. So he will be the last to know. It will be all-male 24/7 for four days! Oh well, maybe I'll just cut loose and be a slob - it was an easier life in some respects :)

[Lisa Golightly]

You have one life... You deserve to be you.

[JenniferMint]

Maybe dressing in femme drab would work better for you: People will think you're just dressing "normally", but you'll be wearing what you like to?

[Scotty]

I've tried that in the past too, doesn't work....not for me anyway.

[CaptLex]

Maybe dressing in femme drab would work better for you: People will think you're just dressing "normally", but you'll be wearing what you like to?
What's "femme drab", Jennifer?

Brianna,

Your story reminds me of when I first started to come to terms with my crossdressing. Even though I hadn't worn a skirt or heels in many years, I had also not worn a tie or boxer shorts in many years. Suddenly, I found myself wearing men's clothes again and so I tested myself to see how I would feel in women's clothes. It was a disaster. I couldn't get out of that skirt and those heels fast enough - and never put it on again. :p

The lesson I learned: wear what you feel happy and comfortable in. Don't wear something because it's what others expect you to wear. My (real) friends have now come to expect to see me in whatever I want - and nothing phases them anymore. Anybody else, I don't care about. If they have a problem - it's their problem.

[Siobhan Marie]

You have one life... You deserve to be you.

:iagree: with Lisa, you be you.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[Calliope]

If I were you (and, of course, I'm not), I would make your visit wearing clothes you like. Sure, you can put on your male 'disguise' for the sake of your pal, but won't you be resenting him for exercising that sort of power over you? My theory is guys can be OK with exhibitions of TG (CD, whatever) so long as they are in no danger of getting turned on; my attire usually follows that reasoning.

[JenniferMint]

What's "femme drab", Jennifer?

"femme drab":
femme = wearing clothing from the women's department
drab = dressed as a boy

It means to wear clothing that is technically women's, but not obviously women's. So, skirts are out, as would be pants that are obviously female (e.g. if they're too tight).

Dressing in femme drab allows an M2F CD to wear women's clothing, while still looking like a normal male and not worry about passing.

[Kieron Andrew]

its funny i couldnt dare think about doing 100% girl mode anymore, it would feel too weird!

[Calliope]

its funny i couldnt dare think about doing 100% girl mode anymore, it would feel too weird!

Can relate to that. I don't own any guy clothes anymore - not even a pair of socks. Once in a while in the morning I'm in a hurry with my kids and no time for makeup and, whoa, what a wrong feeling.

[CaptLex]

"femme drab":
femme = wearing clothing from the women's department
drab = dressed as a boy

It means to wear clothing that is technically women's, but not obviously women's. So, skirts are out, as would be pants that are obviously female (e.g. if they're too tight).

Dressing in femme drab allows an M2F CD to wear women's clothing, while still looking like a normal male and not worry about passing.
Ah . . . thanks for the clarification. That's what I wore for years and didn't know it - I just called it gender-neutral clothing. It was stuff that looked like it could be worn by either side, though most of the items came from the women's department because it was easier to find my size. In fact, some of my shoes are still femme drab - and people ask me all the time if they're women's or men's.

[Jenna1561]

its funny i couldnt dare think about doing 100% girl mode anymore, it would feel too weird!

Kieron,

I could hardly imagine you 100% girl mode. I would think YOU were CROSSDRESSING! You are such a GUY, that's all I ever think you are.


Jenna

[Kieron Andrew]

Kieron,

I could hardly imagine you 100% girl mode. I would think YOU were CROSSDRESSING! You are such a GUY, that's all I ever think you are.


Jenna
Thats such a sweet thing to say..........thank you!

[Scotty]

On this same topic, I have to go to Seattle Tuesday for bloodwork, maybe get together with Brianna for coffee or lunch - but I too will be wearing girl jeans, maybe even my cruel girl flared leg jeans :) Earrings, etc........but I'll settle for the purple T-shirt :)

Seattle is so much more free, too many people have too many things going on to care about what one person looks like......but I live in a smaller town unfortunately for that reason (although it's quieter here)...

[michelle19845]

i would shoot for femme drab.thats what i plan on doing for my holidays.most of my clothes are femme drab anyways.i think of it as small steps towards full time .

[MJ]

i tried drab but i could not do it.. it just don't feel right.. and you should go with your heart and your feelings .. and you will always that wonderful girl i met here :love: . so go a head dress how you feel.

oh and Scottie i wish i could come and meet Brianna too but it's a long drive from Hamilton