PLEASE help me

[Jenna Jones]

Hello everyone,

I have know that i am a crossdresser for a long time. I am 23 and i told my GF a few months back at first she was scared about it then we start with
some panties and she said it turned her on. So we would sometime have me dress in panties. I just order some more online and she found the bill and she
is going crazy. What am i to do? I really love her and would do anything to stay with her. Please i need some advice.

Thanks

[Kieron Andrew]

i would tell her your sorry for doing it behind her back and dont do so in future and that if she really has a problem with the price of the purchases you will get it refund, and start eating humble pie.........

[Jenna Jones]

Its nothing to do with the price. She had told me that she wants nothing to do with me dressing she said she wants to be with a man and not a girl. :sad: But i really love her with all my heart

[Charleen]

Hi Jenna, and welcome. A clarification please. Did she flip because of the price, that you got them without telling her, or that you just got more panties? Or another thought, has the novelty of you wearing panties worn off and that's what's bugging her? Love and xxxx, Lily

[JeanneF]

Its nothing to do with the price. She had told me that she wants nothing to do with me dressing she said she wants to be with a man and not a girl. :sad: But i really love her with all my heart

How old is she? If she's young, quite honestly she may not be emotionally ready to deal with the realities of a transgendered boyfriend.

[Katelyn]

Its nothing to do with the price. She had told me that she wants nothing to do with me dressing she said she wants to be with a man and not a girl. :sad:

THis happens with all of us. My girlfriend tells this to me sometimes when she is feeling depressed. What I did is I told her that I need to be myself, but I will separate my other side from her to make her happy. Basically, I don't talk about crossdressing or any girl type stuff unless she asks. Same goes with dressing.

[Jenna Jones]

I think the novelty has worn of. She is the same age as me and i think also its the fact that i ordered more. I just dont know what to do. We just got off the phone and she said she doesnt want to deal with this anymore. I love her to much to lose her :sad: I am so lost

[Bluebird GG]

Jenna if she really luvs u and wants to be with u she will except u unconditionally for who u are, i cant understand why she would do a about face i wonder if it is financial woes she is worried about, thinking u are wasting money on panties which u are certainly not, commiuncation is the key Jenna if she wants to be with u enough after she cools down she will come back to u, so dont give up u may want to give her some space, maybe deep down she is still dealing with the cding and it just came to a head when she saw the bill, if she wuz really yours she will come back so dont give up u have awesome people from all over the planet to talk to so dont give up if its meant to be it will be, good luck Jenna u will be in our thougths:hugs: :love:

[Jenna Jones]

Well money isnt an issue, I just think she still hasnt come to terms 100%
the thing i find wierd is the we sometime inverse the roles in bed via a special toy and she seems to really enjoy her self so i dont understand how she cant come to terms with it.

[Aprilrain]

Well i can only speak form my own experiance but if you are like me you will not wake up one day and suddenly be "normal" what ever that means. I'm 30 and when i was your age i agonized over CDing in fact i've agonizied over it my whole life until recently. So the question is are you going to accept your self for who you are, and only you can decide that, or are you going to twist your self into emotional knots so some other person can accept you for who your not. That being said It's not easy being a crossdresser and my wife tells me it is not easy being with a crossdresser. Still better to be your self. like the back of my 24hr coin says "to thine own self be true" tell her you are sorry and wont go behind her back again but don't lie and tell her you won't ever CD again unless you know for 100% absolutly sure you will never wear another girly artical of clothing ever again. I know i would not make that promise to anyone.

[Rachel Morley]

I am 23 and I told my GF a few months back, at first she was scared about it then we start with some panties and she said it turned her on.......I just ordered some more online and she found the bill and she
is going crazy.
My first thought about this is...is she going crazy about you buying more panties to wear without telling her because it doesn't actually turn her on and she secretly doesn't like it, or is it that you live together and you spent some of the household income on panties without asking her first? Only you cans answer the question about living together. I think it's very difficult for us to give you definitive and comprehensive advice without knowing more.

For example, did she actually say she is turned on by it? If so, then why was she scared about it first?...do you see my point?

I think you need to talk honestly with her. I wish you well.

[Jenna Jones]

I think it doesnt bother her that i wear panties but she doesnt want to know about it kinda thing. I think her know and seeing bothers her more.

[kerrianna]

Kieron's right Jenna. (and not because you've ever done it before right Kieron?)

Sometimes to make things work with another person you have to admit you were wrong (even if you don't think you were). What you want to do right now is let her blow off some steam, take your lumps, apologize, grovel, let her know you made a boo-boo and it won't happen again.

Make up first. Then someday when you two are calmer and in sync you might get a chance to ask her what exactly it was that flipped her out.

You are right to be confused. (I'm going to duck here :shifty: ) Partners can drive you crazy sometimes - it's part of being together. Pick your battles and pick your times. You guys are young - don't worry, it only gets more confusing. I mean less! Yeah, sure, less confusing.
:whistling:

[Stacy GG]

Well money isnt an issue, I just think she still hasnt come to terms 100%
the thing i find wierd is the we sometime inverse the roles in bed via a special toy and she seems to really enjoy her self so i dont understand how she cant come to terms with it.

I would suggest getting her to join these forums and talk to the GG's in the private forum, we're always here for advice and I'm sure she doesn't really have anyone to talk to.

[Jenna Jones]

Well at first she was shocked but she was willing to try it so we did. She said that it did turn her on but i think over time she started to not like it as much as the first time. We dont live together but we do have plans for an appartment and what not. I would have her join these forums but she is french and i basically learned french for her. I have alrdy said sorry and we spoke about it on the phone and she said she doesnt want to deal with it so im going to let her talk to me about it.

[Kieron Andrew]

Kieron's right Jenna. (and not because you've ever done it before right Kieron?)

nope never had to do it cos im a good boy.....my partners have never known about me, except the present one and she is trans herself............i just realise how woman's minds work when they are pissed(not that they will ever admit it).....first rule is let them think they are in total control!, if you **** up then. beg for forgiveness

[Jenna Jones]

OK WOW She just called me back and she was like I love you. So im kinda lost but only time will tell now. Thank you everyone for your support :D

[Sandra]

I think she has had a reality check and it's hit her hard, talk to her but don't preach to her and most of all listen to what she has to say. If she comes round, next time you want anything talk to her first get her opinion, involve her.

[DonnaT]

Well Jenna, sometimes the women in our lives just can't cope with it, and just like our inability to stop, they can't accept it.

I think it's a good thing you told her while she was your girlfriend and you found out that she can't deal with it.

I imagine you had hopes of spending a lifetime with her, but could you handle the rejection of this side of you for a lifetime? Not an easy thing to do, I guarantee you. And it's much harder trying to quit CDing.

So, your choices are: ask her to join here and see if she's open to learning more about this side of you; or break it off.

[Karren H]

Well most women can't or won't ever handle your crossdressing......and if she's one of them, then you have 2 choices! 1) Quit or try to and get on with your life as she would want you to be! Or B) Let her flee your relationship and you keep on crossdressing, hoping to find that special woman that will accept you as you are!!

Love Karren

[sarahtv]

Now is the time to sort this out. The longer you wait, the more entangled your lives become and the greater the pain.

She may be ok with a little playing in the bedroom - this is more than most of us get! But expanding this further will be a problem. Most women want to marry a man, to have a protector, they want to play the female role. Anything beyond playing threatens that role.

My advice is to be as honest with yourself about what you truly want. Then you need to be honest with her. Fooling yourself now, or only telling half truths will lead to problems later on.

When I was younger I did not realise how deep this went. If I had known I would have been more honest with my wife, and while that may have meant we did not get married, I would have accepted that and moved on.

[cathie]

Well most women can't or won't ever handle your crossdressing......and if she's one of them, then you have 2 choices! 1) Quit or try to and get on with your life as she would want you to be! Or B) Let her flee your relationship and you keep on crossdressing, hoping to find that special woman that will accept you as you are!!

Love Karren

That is very rare. I've been lucky in a way. My first wife was furious. Told me to stop or she'd leave me. My fault because I never told her and she walked in the house early. How can you ask someone to change like that? It's who we are inside. It's coded in our genetics. So I left. I had one gf who didn't like it. At first she thought it was fun for me to wear pantyhose only when we had sex but when I showed her the heels she bailed. Another loved it that she wanted me in drag all the time. She'd even buy me clothes as gifts.

My current wife isnt thrilled with the idea of me wearing clothers marketed for woman but she knows it's who I am. I told her when we were flirting and she laughed it off. All she asks is that I don't dress around the kids or when she is home. I will wear pantyhose under my pants and jeans but that's it. I have to respect her boundries and she respects me for who I am.

Just because I am confortable wearing what I wear doesn't change the person I am inside. I'm a great father and devoted husband and very much a man. I can kick ass on a mountain bike with painted nails. She can't change who you are so if she's not happy and got angry she might be too young to accept at this stage.

[Dee Model]

OK WOW She just called me back and she was like I love you. So im kinda lost but only time will tell now. Thank you everyone for your support :D

Glad to hear it babe, but if it don't work out...what the hell!!! Sorry to be dismissive n all but listen, when i was 23 i was seeing 2 girls at the same time and i couldn't of cared less if they knew or not.

Ok, I'm not helping. But i will say that Love is flippant and that it takes a very special girl to truelly understand. If ur anything like me, this will not go away. Maybe not now, but one day it'll be time to deal!

For me, my femme side is a big part of me an' i ain't gonna let no lady take her away!:dom: