She wants to dress you but you are not allowed to cross dress?

[Jestina]

OK how many of you have had this happen and what the heck is this all about anyway?

You are having a great time with a GG, she wants to either dress you up, or perhaps do your entire face with make up, like a total makeover.

Yet this same woman is repulsed by an actual cross dressing man???

I have had this experience several times.
Once with a woman I did not totally trust so I did not let her do my face, but she wanted to badly.
I knew she was NOT cool with cross dressers though.


I find this very confusing.

I could theorize and psychologically analyze it but I am interested in the practical aspect here.


Anyone else? Any comments?

[Tamara Croft]

It's called 'control', but not in a bad way.... I did this with my Tammy before I knew she was a CD.... it's hard to explain, but because I initiated the dressing, the make-up etc, it was under my control, my safety zone.... But when she told me that she actually liked it and had done it for some time, it freaked me out, because I'd lost control of it, it wasn't mine anymore.. does that make sense?? or have I just confused you even more :bs:

[Joy Carter]

Yeah my girl friend once cupped my pecks from behind and said I'd look cute in one of her cocktail dresses.:eek: God I didn't even respond what was I think-in ! :doh:

[goofus]

Wowie...how I would love to surrender such control to a genetic girl... :love:


It's called 'control', but not in a bad way.... I did this with my Tammy before I knew she was a CD.... it's hard to explain, but because I initiated the dressing, the make-up etc, it was under my control, my safety zone.... But when she told me that she actually liked it and had done it for some time, it freaked me out, because I'd lost control of it, it wasn't mine anymore.. does that make sense?? or have I just confused you even more :bs:

[Scotty]

Had a girlfriend once that didn't want to put her teddy on, she kept saying "You'd look better in it than me"....then she got the crazy idea to get ME to wear it :D

She liked that evening, we had a few like that but she (nor I) really knew much about me, so long ago......probably my first experience with a woman though in womens clothes (Barely).

I agree with Tamara on this one.

[MJ]

wow wish i had a gf like yours .. you are one lucky guy or girl ?

[kathy gg]

'Tis will be one of those mysteries that will always evade male thinking.....I have known quiet a few gg's who did this or felt this way. But, if it is any consolation, like Tamara, most do come 'round to what it all means and then the understanding and empathy kicks in and that attitude of it being *bad* changes for most.

I will be honest though....when I first was ready to admit to myself that this for sure was something I wanted in my life, my first inclination was to *convert* a non-cding guy to dressing, rather than find a crossdresser. Because dating a crossdresser can be pretty damn complicated, and I really was not quiet sure I was ready for that difficult level of a relationship right off the start. Of course then the reality of what a horrible idea converting someone is kicked in fully and I finally decided that dating a crossdresser was the best choice in order to fullfill what I needed in my life.

Thankfully my sweetheart is not complicated! And I did not have to go through converting him to anything! It is all from the heart, as is my desire to be a part of it all.

[Michellebej]

I can see where it could be a control issue. My ex-wife was that way. She loved to dress me up and do my make-up. But; only when and how she wanted it. Which was sometimes on a nightly basis. But; it was always the way she wanted it. Which meant she picked out the clothes, makeup ect.

Which also meant that she wanted me to do it on nights that I didn't feel like it. (Go figure).

Love

Michelle

[Nancie64]

I'm with the rest. I wish for that day that my SO would like to take a shot at that. I've even beat around the bush with the suggestion that she take control and do to Nancy as she wishes. No luck, still only a wish. If you're not it the mood, be honest, tell her, maybe another night.

[Rachel Morley]

I think Tamara hit the nail on the head, I think it's all about being in a "safe zone" for the woman. My wife loves my crossdressing but in the beginning she was (and for the most part, still is today) the person who drives it. It was her who decided what the boundaries were going to be and just how much dressing I would be allowed to do. However, once she felt comfortable about being in control and that I would respect her authority in this area, things rapidly developed and the crossdressing increased because she suggested I dress more.

I think if the woman is making the decisions on how far and how fast it's going to go forward she's likely to be more accepting. I can only speak from my perspective, but in my life there is way more crossdressing and way more pushing of the envelope now than there has ever been before.

[Jestina]

It's called 'control', but not in a bad way.... I did this with my Tammy before I knew she was a CD.... it's hard to explain, but because I initiated the dressing, the make-up etc, it was under my control, my safety zone.... But when she told me that she actually liked it and had done it for some time, it freaked me out, because I'd lost control of it, it wasn't mine anymore.. does that make sense?? or have I just confused you even more :bs:

Nope~ Confused is not exactly the word anyway, just the quickest descriptive term I could think of.

This is approximately the road I would have gone down if I were to theorize or speculate on it.
Control is vaguely where my head was at. The woman I would never let touch me was a total control freak.
I could never have verbalized it so clearly as you have here from a personal perspective.

One thing though, first your life story post was the inspiration for this question so I am glad you enlightened me (us) on this.

I am curious to see how common this is.

Thanks, you have good words.

Jestina.

[Khriss]

...a deep and reacurring fantacy of mine is forced femination...and again ...no doubt ,replies will reflect the view of, how are You forced to do something You truly desire??
..for Me, it goes hand in hand with the fears I have over "discovery" or being found "out"? .. by family,freinds,employers..etc..:(
..there are far to many "stigmas" stuck to my "prediliction..
fears and ignorance abound ! As of (yet) ever..I've "exposed" "Khriss" to real Women I was in relationships with... and to date (time wize) most ..all so far reguarded such behaviors as perverse...
,,forbidden fruit then ?
I'll continue to seek , understanding souls, reguardless of ...

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Michellebej;633009]
Which also meant that she wanted me to do it on nights that I didn't feel like it. (Go figure).

NOT TONIGHT DEAR I HAVE A HEADACHE ! LOL !

[Brianna Lovely]

Although I agree with Tamara's point of view, my initial reaction was a little different than control. Like, what's the worst thing you could do to a boy or a man, to humiliate, shame or embarrass him?

Why, sissify him, make him look like a girl, take all control away from him, for a few minutes.

Just my opinion. Oh my, please don't make me wear a dress, dear. giggle

[Patricia Danielle]

Howdy all;

Well the SO is ok with me in a nightgown and I do wear a skirt around the house and sometimes she'll make the coment that my slip is showing but I don't look good in a dress for some reason. But she does buy me nightgowns from time to time, I love going shopping with her. I was looking at a long nightgown one day and an older woman walked up and snached it out of my hand and said I was rude, I said excues me you snached it out of my hand if I remember it right. She said well she won't like it anyway, at that point I snached it back and said lets ask her, I held it up to my chest and look at my SO and said what do ya think love? My SO started hootin and hollaring and panting and said loud enough for everyone to hear makes my toung hard.. I turned back to the other lady and said well she likes it!! But I'm not getting it for her, it's for me.. The look on the womans face was priceless it was a kodak moment.. Patricia..

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds to me like she is using you in lieu of a Barbie doll. Big girls don't play with dolls but if they can find a willing "victim" they can turn into one, some will do it. Ain't no way I would ever have someone else in control of what I look like (as a guy or girl).:happy: Ericka

[Lilith Moon]

It's called 'control', but not in a bad way.... I did this with my Tammy before I knew she was a CD.... it's hard to explain, but because I initiated the dressing, the make-up etc, it was under my control, my safety zone.... But when she told me that she actually liked it and had done it for some time, it freaked me out, because I'd lost control of it, it wasn't mine anymore.. does that make sense?? or have I just confused you even more :bs:

Interesting.

My SO has a sort of opposite problem. She is cool with other crossdressers, has met a few and chatted with them. But it was a shock to her that her own partner is one and she still isn't comfortable with that.

:hugs:

[AnnaMaria]

Jestina,

It sounds to me as if Tamara hit the nail on the head with the control thing. Especially, with the fact that it could be a matter of her having a safety zone. I have always kept control of my dressing even though I do make allowances for my wife and certain concessions when it comes to where and when. But the difference is that my wife picks out most of my male clothes for me because she is better at it than I am, and I pick out most of my girl clothes because I know the look that I want. Of course I do ask her opinion on most of my outfits simply because she is better at knowing what goes together than I am.

But, I could never give over complete control to a woman and allow her to dress me at her whim. I am to much of a control freak myself for that. Not that it doesn’t sound exciting in some ways, mind you, but after one failed marriage in which the woman was a complete control freak and actually violently so I have a real problem with even the idea of giving over control of my looks to anyone, especially a woman.

I would have to say that it would all depend in your case on the woman and how you felt about her in general. If you trust and love her then I see nothing wrong with the idea of allowing her to explore something like that. Simply because it could lead to easier acceptance if she saw you dressed on several occasions prior to actually finding out who you really are. But I could also see it going the other way simply because she might feel as if she has lost control of her “game”.

Or, you could simply enjoy it while is lasts and never say a word about your real feelings. It could be an overt way of exploring a fantasy for her of being with another woman without the stigma of the actual act. Of course, if that is the case then the “game” will fade fast and your relationship will continue with her having the knowledge that you are willing to explore aspects of your relationship that are a little outside of the norm which could strengthen the overall quality of the relationship in general. Which could also lead to easier acceptance in the future.

Sorry for being so long winded. I do hope that what I have said makes some kind of sense.

Anna

[loki_uk]

It's called 'control', but not in a bad way.... I did this with my Tammy before I knew she was a CD.... it's hard to explain, but because I initiated the dressing, the make-up etc, it was under my control, my safety zone.... But when she told me that she actually liked it and had done it for some time, it freaked me out, because I'd lost control of it, it wasn't mine anymore.. does that make sense?? or have I just confused you even more :bs:

Nope not confusing at all, maybe it just makes you a closet Domme ;)

Hmm sounds like my wife really, she screamed catching me wearing her stockings, but if she tries to force a bra on me it's just a bit of fun...lol I don't think we're meant to understand you

[sherib]

My wife will sometimes buy me panythose without my asking. She even bought me a wig when we were in NY. But at the same time she does not want to be around me when I dress. How is that for mixed messages.

[Kristen Kelly]

Howdy all;

Well the SO is ok with me in a nightgown and I do wear a skirt around the house and sometimes she'll make the coment that my slip is showing but I don't look good in a dress for some reason. But she does buy me nightgowns from time to time, I love going shopping with her. I was looking at a long nightgown one day and an older woman walked up and snached it out of my hand and said I was rude, I said excues me you snached it out of my hand if I remember it right. She said well she won't like it anyway, at that point I snached it back and said lets ask her, I held it up to my chest and look at my SO and said what do ya think love? My SO started hootin and hollaring and panting and said loud enough for everyone to hear makes my toung hard.. I turned back to the other lady and said well she likes it!! But I'm not getting it for her, it's for me.. The look on the womans face was priceless it was a kodak moment.. Patricia..

That moment must have been Fantastic Glad your SO gets as much of a laugh as you do.

You talk about things that dont make sense my GF loves seeing me in panties even told me to stop wearing "tighty whities" just wear women's panties, goes out with the girls and I dancing, but does not like to see me wearing nail polish on my toes all summer. Go figure.

[Karren H]

Since my wife and I have opposite tastes in womens clothing that would be no fun at all!! She would dress me in jeans and baggy tee shirts!! Wooppiiee!! Hmmmmmmm. That's how I'm dressed today!! Hehehe. In drab.....

Love Karren

[goofus]

I suspect it was pretty hard to convert non-cding guys to crossdressing, Kath :)

Trish



'Tis will be one of those mysteries that will always evade male thinking.....I have known quiet a few gg's who did this or felt this way. But, if it is any consolation, like Tamara, most do come 'round to what it all means and then the understanding and empathy kicks in and that attitude of it being *bad* changes for most.

I will be honest though....when I first was ready to admit to myself that this for sure was something I wanted in my life, my first inclination was to *convert* a non-cding guy to dressing, rather than find a crossdresser. Because dating a crossdresser can be pretty damn complicated, and I really was not quiet sure I was ready for that difficult level of a relationship right off the start. Of course then the reality of what a horrible idea converting someone is kicked in fully and I finally decided that dating a crossdresser was the best choice in order to fullfill what I needed in my life.

Thankfully my sweetheart is not complicated! And I did not have to go through converting him to anything! It is all from the heart, as is my desire to be a part of it all.