if i died, what would my family find?

[michellecd_ne]

Hi,
here is something i think about. First some background info. I am single, live alone, and have not told anyone about my CD'ing. So what if i died suddenly. My family would be clearing out my things from my home and then they would find all my female clothes. I know that since i would be dead i would not know what they say. But I wonder what they would be saying. Does anybody have a plan to clear your home of fem clothes in case this happens?
Michelle

[KarenSusan]

I have wrestled with this exact question but have not been able to come to a good conclusion. Even more embarrassing is if you were in a seriously accident and not killed, eventually your relatives might have to go to your home to get you something. Instant outing.

[GG Vanya]

Look at the glass as half full. They just might assume all the femme things belonged to a girlfriend you never told them about.

[kerrianna]

All I can say is I'll be glad I won't be around to hear what they have to say when they find out what I really was up to in my life :D

[JeanneF]

I figure if I'm dead, it's not really an issue anymore.

I would be more worried that they would find some sort of serious fashion mistake, like a bolo tie or something.

[Lindsay Marie]

This is why we shouldn't keep secrets from those who care about us most. This is actually one of the reasons that I decided to let my parents know about Lindsay. The big one for me now is what will my employer think if they have to go and recover my truck for some reason, Lindsay has a lot of stuff on board. The only positive I get from that is when they find out I can screw up all I want and they won't be able to get rid of me unless I really mess up big time.

[Joy Carter]

Look at the glass as half full. They just might assume all the femme things belonged to a girlfriend you never told them about.

Hmmmm. Yeah a real flat chested girlfriend who uses birdseed in stockings for boobs.:rolleyes: Or mayby this. Oh he loved animals so much that he carried around birdseen just to feed the birds. SURE HE DID !

[StayceeCD]

Since I work mainly on the road I have thought about it quite a bit. My wife does know. Although she would be freaked when she actually had to physically unpack my suitcase. Knowing and actually seeing are completely different. I sincerely hope this is something she'll never have to deal with. I love her more than life and would never want to put her through more than I already have..

[trannie T]

I wonder what they'll do with all those panties.

[Clare]

I reckon my sisters-in-law and female cousins will be fighting to get the best of my femme wear! :devil:

I have a lot of androgenous femme clothing such as jeans and tops, many sexy sets of lingerie and heaps of makeup and skin care products. Not a lot of dresses, skirts or heels, but enough to be a surprise to my family! :D

My family doesn't know about CLARE, so I imagine there will be a lot confusion about me after my death! :eek:

[Helen MC]

Hundreds of pairs of knickers (panties) which are all full briefs, bras and breast forms, slips, many skirts, some summer dresses of the old 1950s "Doris Day" style, stockings and suspender (garter) belts , sundry other girly items.

I don't let it worry me at all! Firstly I would be dead and beyond such human problems, secondly the only family I am likely to have calling on my home at my death would be my sister Anne who is two years my senior. Although I have never come out to her I have an idea that she knows about my CD side. In any event she is a very sympathetic and "liberal" person on most matters.

[Kate Simmons]

Something like this is the least of my worries, Hon. In the here and now, I'm concerned with how my family would get along if I passed.:happy: Ericka

[tekla west]

And while your out getting someone to ditch the clothes, make sure they erase the porn too.

[Teresa Amina]

"So that's what was going on!":D Probably as much amusement as distress I think. Don't worry about it!

[Sarah Rabbit]

My family knows, so this does not really apply to me...However, if I was in the situation you had described...I would leave a well thought out letter to those who mattered most to me..I would explain to the best of my ability, what it was all about. I would apologise to those who would have understood and accepted me, but did not get the chance because of my uncertainty. To rest...well..Is does not really matter, does it.


Sarah R. :bunny:

[Raychel]

I came out to my wife a few years back. And in the stress of those time she told her mother. Her mother was totally cool with it, kinda like "So what, that is all that is troubling you"

Anyway looking back, this is all a good thing. In the event that she may need to clean out my closet. I feel that she may need some support. Although she knows all about what is in my closet. She has never really seen any of it, and the reality of actually cleaning it out I am sure will be a bit stressful for her. So it would be a good thing that her mom would be around to help.

[Lisa Golightly]

250 pairs of shoes to be listed on ebay ;)

[Phyliss]

Now that I'm "out" to my wife I'm not worried about what she'll find, but rather, if she starts to add up the co$t then I just know she'll figure out a way to come after me and "kill" me again.

As far as what's on my laptop. I've told a buddy that his first job is to get ahold of it and totally destroy the hard drive without looking at it. I hopefully have his promise to "not look" , but if he does, ....well......

[monalisa]

Being single and no one in the family knowing that you crossdress would be an eye opener to the family if they had to clean out everything in the event of one's sudden demise.
I have decided to contact mission impossible where everything self destructs automatically in the event a sensor fails to detect my heartbeat or brain wave.
It is something to think about and maybe you need to have a friend who knows and has an emergency key and 50 garbage bags and a truck with directions to the nearest Salvation Army.
Maybe we should form a secret society at Crossdressers.com that handles that task. Pick 4 members who live close and are the same size so they can benefit from your parting.

[Tedi]

Being quite a pack rat I have way too much s**t. If I died someone in the family, probably by brother would get the job of clearing out my stuff. Finding all the fem stuff would probably come as a bit of a shock, but having to go through all the rest of my junk would be a daunting task. I need a bigger house!

[MJ]

well don't you think you should tell the truth then you won't have to worry about it

[Priscilla Ann]

I figure if I'm dead, it's not really an issue anymore.

I would be more worried that they would find some sort of serious fashion mistake, like a bolo tie or something.

I agree with you Lisa. I am thinking if I am dead I won't care what people think of me. As for fashion mistakes, I don't worry much about them now. I don't see me fretting much about them in death.

[Kristen Marie]

I think my wife would be more upset because right now Kristen has a better collection of clothes than her male counterpart does. It would take a while to discover the cache of clothers, wigs, etc., but most likely it would be another family member first and not my wife.

Hopefully she'll be more accepting by then....and if so, it won't be as much of an issue.

[Kimkandy]

I am single, live alone, and have not told anyone about my CD'ing. So what if i died suddenly. My family would be clearing out my things from my home and then they would find all my female clothes. I know that since i would be dead i would not know what they say. But I wonder what they would be saying.

If you're more worried about your family finding out you've been CD'ing than dieing, perhaps ypu should just tell them and get things out into the open.

After all what's worst thing that could happen it won't :devil: kill you.

Kim

:dom: :dh:

[cd_stacey]

I've thought about this too...a lot! I don't think it's practical to have an "escape plan" to have someone you trust clear out your things if you live in a situation where no one in your home is aware of your "other life". I guess the best thing to hope for is that your loved ones will let their love for you overcome any revulsion or disappointment they may experience. It's not unlike a widow or widower finding hidden love letters from another person and then hating their spouse for cheating on them.

[Katelyn]

This is why we shouldn't keep secrets from those who care about us most. This is actually one of the reasons that I decided to let my parents know about Lindsay.

I wish I was this brave. I have discussed it with my girlfriend that if something was to happen to me, all of my stuff becomes hers. They would be her clothes that she kept here for when she visited me. If we were to break up, I have also thought about maybe leaving a letter explaining why I have this stuff. In it, I would also let them know why I couldn't tell them. It's an idea...

[suzy]

I don't have to worry about it at the moment. But I would be willing to bet that everyone would assume that the clothes are my wife's and there would not even be an eyebrow raised... but that could change in the future and I may have to be concerned about it!:eek:

[janet p]

First off I hope I would have on clean panties(like mother always told me to encase of an accident). Then I wouldn't worry about it.:love:

[sparks]

One small bag of Femme Clothes amongst old Star War toys and Comic Books. Hmm what is the real treasure and who would claim what.
The Wife knows and firmly does not accept. She would most likely cry alot about the Femme stuff and then Be glad she doesn't have to store the Comics anymore.
Treasure is in the Eye of the Beholder people. Psst who who would claim the ultra rare Boba Fett missing a hand and most accessories!

[Ranee Daze]

As with all things related to keeping this activity a secret from friends and family I have a plan which I have partly executed.

#1 - I don't dress more than 5 or six times a year. When I am not dressing my stuff is in a locked suitcase with a tag on it asking kindly that in the event of an extreme emergency this case should be taken un-opened to a Salvation Army Donation Centre.

#2 - Inside the case is nothing, no ID, or reciepts or photos which could link me to the stuff, but also there is an important set of letters in which I talk about my struggle with crossdressing, plus two or three great articles about the commonality and realities of dressing.I'd love to include a tape cassette where I talk about my obsession.

#3 - My intention is to do no harm to my family, my kids, my friends and lovers, and so it is smart I think to do things this way. Remember Murphy's Law and "The Cat In The Hat". Things that can happen....will....if you open the door for them.

[Tina Dixon]

One small bag of Femme Clothes amongst old Star War toys and Comic Books. Hmm what is the real treasure and who would claim what.
The Wife knows and firmly does not accept. She would most likely cry alot about the Femme stuff and then Be glad she doesn't have to store the Comics anymore.
Treasure is in the Eye of the Beholder people. Psst who who would claim the ultra rare Boba Fett missing a hand and most accessories!
Where in the same boat, one long box of girlie thing among 50 boxes of comics, but hey I'm dead any ways so whats she going to say:heehee:

[Joanne_2003]

I'M not that worried, they'll be too busy trying to figure out whether to bury me in a dress or a suit:heehee:
Joanne

[Bernadina]

There is so much stuff in our house that it will take years for anyone to find everything. By that time they will be so fed up they won't even care whose it was.

And beside, I'll be able to still drop by and listen in to what they have to say just for the fun of it.

[serinalynn]

Hi,
here is something i think about. First some background info. I am single, live alone, and have not told anyone about my CD'ing. So what if i died suddenly. My family would be clearing out my things from my home and then they would find all my female clothes. I know that since i would be dead i would not know what they say. But I wonder what they would be saying. Does anybody have a plan to clear your home of fem clothes in case this happens?
Michelle

MY wife and my kids 24 and 21 know i wear womens clothing, so they would have to deal with it. :heehee:

[tall_brianna]

I can't imagine any loving parent, regardless of how ignorant and irrational, would take a second from grieving to even think about it. And if they would... so what, forget about em.

I would die happy knowing that everyone will know and I didn't have to look them in the eyes and tell them. Actually, it would fall to my only heir, probably accompanied by my ex. Hmmmm.... I may stash a note to him and attempt to explain. He'll be okay with it.

-brianna

[BobbieCD1944]

My kids "know" about me to varying degrees, meaning both my CDing and being kink. I would not worry too much about them finding some of the clothes and fetishwear I have. It would be my toy collection that might shock them too much. I need to work out a plan to have someone clean out the house before the kids get there.

[Glenda58]

My family knows so I just keep my things clean just case one of my sisters or daughters would like to keep some for there selves. But the sisters couldn't fit into my size 8s and 10s. Guess just have to will them to you ladies here.:heehee: :heehee:

[michelleliz]

I also live alone And I have thought about that . I figure I am dead so I won't care what they say or think. Any way I am not close to any of my family

Michelleliz

[Billijo49504]

They would find your cold dead body, and if they used a defib machine on you, you might have a few burns on your chest, where your boobs are. In 03 i was dead 4 himes and brought back. I has a leg that was infected and it went into septic shock, and I died and was brought back, 4 tmes. Maybe that is why the wife is so understanding of my CD'ing. She is just happy I'm still here.Or atleast that is what I hope it is...BJ

[Ronda_B]

I have thought about this often. I'm out to my wife and my son but my daughter doesn't know yet. These are the only people that know. I think that after I pass on the people in my life will have the decency to tell the truth to anyone that questions why I would have such things in my bedroom.

After my father passed away, the fact that he had a long battle with alcahol through out his life and that his real family never knew about it. At the funeral his brother and sister found out about it and there was a light bulb that went on. They said that this was the furthest thing from their minds and now that it is out it clears up alot of the rumers that were told about him. You see he was outed as a young man from his family because he didn't believe the same way as they did. He didn't conform to them the same way I haven't confromed to mine.

With this said I would hope that my family would love and cherrish me for the person that I was, either in drab or efemm. Some may not, but this will be their loss as it was with my father.

My only regret will be that I never really achieved all that I wanted to where my crossdressing is concerned. And I hope that I don't go all dressed up. This would be like being stoped by my small town cop all dressed up. The news would spread like butter on bread. This would hurt my family in a way that they might not be able to handle or explaine.

[Jeri Rene]

Hi,
here is something i think about. First some background info. I am single, live alone, and have not told anyone about my CD'ing. So what if i died suddenly. My family would be clearing out my things from my home and then they would find all my female clothes. I know that since i would be dead i would not know what they say. But I wonder what they would be saying. Does anybody have a plan to clear your home of fem clothes in case this happens?
Michelle


My situation is exacly the same and I have had the same thoughts of late since I my father, grandfather and grandmother have all died this summer then my mother falls down her stairs and breaks her ankle in 3 places. As a result there have been alot of "what if" thoughts lately. Since there isn't anything that can be done (except throw it all away...not going to do that) I try not to worry about it. As a part time CD I don't really have alot of clothing to worry about anyway.

[cd_stacey]

I think Ranee Daze's comments above made a lot of sense and present a very sane and sensible way for the closet CD'er to handle this possibility. Thank you Ranee, for your insight.

[Melinda G]

I also think about this a lot. What will my kids think when they find all my clothes, 30 pairs of heels, videos, photos, adult "novelty" items. Geez. I would hate to throw them all out too soon. I'll probably use them till I die. Decisions, decisions? No easy answers.

[Drucilla]

When I travel , I always have a sign displayed inside my car or motel room that says that I am a married , closeted Cross dresser and to please destroy my feminine clothes in case of an emergency. Thankfully I have never had an occasion to use this!!!
I have yet to address my storage when at home but I am thinking about a way to do this.
My thinking is "BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY" . I would never want to add to the family's stress by discovering my "secret" at a time that would already be very stressful for them.

[Jennaie]

This is the thought that bothers me the most about my dressing. It is my biggest fear being a cd. It is also the reason I often consider purging it all.

I can not and will not tell my family, ever. So there finding out at my death is a thought that haunts me.

[racquel]

When I travel , I always have a sign displayed inside my car or motel room that says that I am a married , closeted Cross dresser and to please destroy my feminine clothes in case of an emergency. Thankfully I have never had an occasion to use this!!!
I have yet to address my storage when at home but I am thinking about a way to do this.
My thinking is "BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY" . I would never want to add to the family's stress by discovering my "secret" at a time that would already be very stressful for them.

I cannot imagine a hotel manager or staffmember destroying a guest's personal belonging's based on a letter or note.More likely the note would be packaged with the items and released to the family or police depending on the emergency.
As an aside- has anyone ever heard of an instance where someone was outed after death due to left behind belonging's?

[KarenSusan]

This is the thought that bothers me the most about my dressing. It is my biggest fear being a cd. It is also the reason I often consider purging it all.

I can not and will not tell my family, ever. So there finding out at my death is a thought that haunts me.

:iagree:

[christineR]

It's something that has crossed my mind.Since my wife died in may she would have taken care of it. Now I think my kids think I stopped doing it years ago,which I did so now they might not like it but they'll figure it out. Hopefully the inheritancce will help. ChristineR

[Dee Model]

Hi,
here is something i think about. First some background info. I am single, live alone, and have not told anyone about my CD'ing. So what if i died suddenly. My family would be clearing out my things from my home and then they would find all my female clothes. I know that since i would be dead i would not know what they say. But I wonder what they would be saying. Does anybody have a plan to clear your home of fem clothes in case this happens?
Michelle

Hey,

I have given this topic much thought over the years and it has been the de-facto cause of many purges. I too live alone and although a few close friend know, my family is in the dark...

And that is the way i'd like to keep it! It has taken me a long, long time to disgregard my legacy.

I have five years of personal dairies...they can read all about it in those!

[Dee Model]

My family knows so I just keep my things clean just case one of my sisters or daughters would like to keep some for there selves. But the sisters couldn't fit into my size 8s and 10s. Guess just have to will them to you ladies here.:heehee: :heehee:

Please Glenda, Please!

[SherriePall]

I only fear my wife going first. Then I would have to explain to my daughter who would probably take it upon herself to clean the closet why I want all her mother's things left except the jogging suits!

[vbcdgrl]

This thought is what caused my last purge, several years ago. I was in depths of depression, and was having suicidal thoughts. The thought of my family and friends finding my femme stuff after I had committed suicide was too much. I chucked everything.
Fortunately, for me at least, I got to a shrink in time and was successfully treated for the depression. I'm back to "normal"
I have built up my femme wardrobe again, and, WILL NOT throw it away again. Ironically, the only person who knows about Vikki is my X. My son, who lives with me, doesn't know.
I am considering asking my X to deal with my femme stuff should I meet an untimely demise. She could either trash it or take some for herself, since we are the same femme size. I know it's a lot to ask, especially of an X SO, but she might go along with it.

Vikki

[emmicd]

To me crossdressing is an integral part of my personality. I really can't share with anyone but I have grown to live with it and find it to be enjoyable though hard to do. I guess a guilty pleasure.

I have been able to store my clothes in a walk in closet at home. My wife knows of this side but is disapproving. I also have some stashed in my car.

To me my main concern in the event of my untimely demise would not be so much about the clothes but more about the welfare of my wife and family!

That is why a will and family planning is necessary.

If I were sick and knew I were to leave this earthly existence I would give my clothes to goodwill or ask my wife to do so and pray for her's and God's forgiveness.

emmi

[Karren H]

Well, since I'll be dead....I won't care....:)

Love Karren