Please understand us For all

[Amy Hepker]

Hi Ladies and Gents,

I was thinking about this and this will probably be pretty lengthy and I am sorry.
I woke up this mourning and was thinking about why we like to Crossdress. I know there are many different reasons, but here is what I think.:2c: A lot of time GGs get upset at us because we tend to go overboard when we think that we are excepted. By this I mean we'll tend to go out and start buying everything a girl can have.:heehee: I don't think we do it purposely, it's because we have felt left out for so long, and we tend to want to make up time for it. I guess we are just thinking of ourselves at that time. We are not trying to push away our LOVED one (SO), but that maybe what it seems. I myself want to share my inner self with my SO.:hugs: My GLadyfriend has gone to great lengths lately to try to understand me and my motives and desires. We as Crossdressers can LOVE and do LOVE.:love: We do not mean to drive our SOs away, although this is the way it ends up alot of times.:( We do need to look at it from their side also. Most of us developed this idea of wanting to dress as the other sex at a very young age. This could be because we are very impressionable at an early age. As boys we see that girls have a close relationship with mom.:hugs: Mom will tend to spend more time with a girl in teaching her to be a girl. Working with her to look pretty. Isn't that the thing when girls are young (looking pretty). Well, boys are low maintanance, a shirt, pants socks and shoes. Boys when they are young usally have very short hair, so there is no need to take time with that. Girls on the other hand have to be prettied. Hair just right, brushed, curled, dyed, combed. Their clothes have to be perfect, pretty with no spots or stains. Even their finger nails get painted. Girls would get all the attention from everyone especially relatives.:heehee: (Oh you look so pretty!!!) Then there's the boy, (Oh, you look Handsome) It used to be when a girl was young and went to school, they HAD to wear dresses, or skirts and blouses to school. Boys all wore the same ol thing, shirts and pants. I remember sitting behind girls at school and seeing the way the blouses buttoned up the back and the dresses zipped up or buttoned up, knowing that they must have to have help from someone to exscape them when changing into something else. At home a girl can be of help around the house, a boy is just in the way making a mess. (go outside and find something to do). Girls would have girlfriends and they would come over and play house and dressup games or try on each others clothes. Boys would build something or tear it down. Boys would learn how to kill animals (hunting) and fight. Girls learn to help one another, boys are taught how to fight one another. In the winter time they wore tights or pants under thier dresses, but were removed once at school. Once again it was so that a girl would be presented as a pretty girl. Girls got the attention even at school, the teachers would tell the girls to sit up straight and keep your legs together (Act like a LADY). Even the word (GIRL!!!) is cheerful. (BOY) just sounds so drab and plain. Girls are (PRETTY!!!):happy: Boys are (HANDSOME).:rolleyes: Then you have (WOMAN!!!) and you have a (MAN). You have (LADIES!!!) and you have (GENTALMEN). I know there is a down side to being Female, it's that time of the month. But, you know what boys go through puberty. Girls create life, boys are expendable:eek: and will go over and fight wars. A ship is going down in the ocean, save the women and childern first. Men are expendable. Girls, very rarely have to fight for the attention of the opposite sex. Boys, have to bend over backwards to get the attention of a beautiful girl, and if she doesn't like the way you look, you don't stand a chance. Boys usally have to take a girl (Lady)from another boy (Man). Girls usally go from one relationship to another with no time lost in between. I know there were times when I went for many months without a SO. I do see a down side for the girls (Ladies), they have so many Boys (Men) trying for them that every once in a while they get one wanting them that they don't want anything to do with and can't get rid of them. Unless a Man has alot of money he doesn't stand much of a chance these days. Even the Dating services tell the men to get your finaces in shape before looking for a mate. I am sorry, I know this is long and drawn out, but I just wanted to express the way I feel. I know that there will be a lot of feedback on this one and many other views. This is my view and I am sure I could go on and on, but I will end it here for now.

[CaptLex]

Girls, very rarely have to fight for the attention of the opposite sex. Boys, have to bend over backwards to get the attention of a beautiful girl, and if she doesn't like the way you look, you don't stand a chance. . . .Girls usally go from one relationship to another with no time lost in between. I know there were times when I went for many months without a SO. I do see a down side for the girls (Ladies), they have so many Boys (Men) trying for them that every once in a while they get one wanting them that they don't want anything to do with and can't get rid of them. Unless a Man has alot of money he doesn't stand much of a chance these days.
Hey, Amy:

I hope you feel better now - sounds like you really wanted to get that off your chest. You pointed out a lot of things in your post, but I just wanted to address this part of it - to point out the other side of it, if I may. While guys may resent having to be the ones who usually initiate communication with women, how do you think it feels for a woman to sit waiting to be noticed? At a party, you hope someone will ask you to dance (that's why so many women dance with each other). You see other girls being asked to dance or offered a drink, etc. and you think you're just not attractive enough. From the other side of the fence, it seems that men are the lucky ones who can pick and choose who they want to be with, not the ones who sit around like merchandise waiting to be chosen. I can see both sides of the coin, and wanted to point this out.

By the way, I've never known a woman to go quickly from relationship to relationship. Usually, they break up with someone because they know the relationship is a mistake, even if they know they won't have anyone else for a while. Most of the time when men break up with someone, they've already got another one lined up to take her place. That's been my experience anyway.

[Kate Simmons]

My personal "mission" for being who I am is to debunk stereotypes as to the type you describe. Girls can have masculine qualities and guys can have feminine qualities. God forbid if they display them. This is where a big part of the problem comes in, in my opinion. I went years doing the things a "man" was supposed to do as prescribed by society "rules". Problem was, I was never happy about it. I did my best to be a good husband and father but something was always missing. That something was "me" as a person. As Ericka I was "allowed" to display my feelings openly whereas as Richard, I was not. I've come a long way since I established that. No matter who I am, I can display my feelings. I can cry as Richard and not feel "guilty". I can be aggressive as Ericka and not feel I'm "unladylike". The point is I've proven to myself I can be both, one or the other or neither without compromising myself as a person. What I choose to look like at any given time is purely my choice as well as how I choose to act. I obey all laws and pay my taxes like a good citizen. That's all I owe 'em though. The minute they try to tell me how to act or dress, I'll tell them to go "suck an egg". This being the case, I control my own destiny and am self directed and self empowered. I take responsibility for my own actions as well and deal with any consequences (good or bad) of any decision I make. My philosophy is "live and let live" and I accept everyone else for who they choose to be whether I would choose to do it personally or not. It is what it is and my friends are my friends. I wouldn't have it any other way. I just wish the rest of the world would lighten up a little and see it though.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[GG Vanya]

Hey, Amy:

I hope you feel better now - sounds like you really wanted to get that off your chest. You pointed out a lot of things in your post, but I just wanted to address this part of it - to point out the other side of it, if I may. While guys may resent having to be the ones who usually initiate communication with women, how do you think it feels for a woman to sit waiting to be noticed? At a party, you hope someone will ask you to dance (that's why so many women dance with each other). You see other girls being asked to dance or offered a drink, etc. and you think you're just not attractive enough. From the other side of the fence, it seems that men are the lucky ones who can pick and choose who they want to be with, not the ones who sit around like merchandise waiting to be chosen. I can see both sides of the coin, and wanted to point this out.

By the way, I've never known a woman to go quickly from relationship to relationship. Usually, they break up with someone because they know the relationship is a mistake, even if they know they won't have anyone else for a while. Most of the time when men break up with someone, they've already got another one lined up to take her place. That's been my experience anyway.


Lex, THANK YOU! As I read this thread I kept thinking it's *so* not how it is in reality for females. Who better than a F2M to see the other perspective? :thumbsup:

[Stephenie S]

Dear Amy,

It's been a long time since I have seen so many sexual stereotypes together all in one place.

I will try to say this delicately. You have a somewhat distorted view of womanhood. Being a WOMAN has next to NOTHING to do with what you are talking about. Perhaps a GG on this forum will answer you better than I can. I don't know how old you are, but if you are young, your ideas of woman hood may change as you mature. If you are older, then perhaps you just need to spend more time WITH women.

Being a woman has very little to do with wearing a blouse that buttons up the back. And when was the last time saw one of those?

Please don't take this wrong, dear, but you need to get a grip.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[MJ]

hi Amy
hmmm OK i think you need to take a two week holiday with your so and for that two weeks you should dress en-femme everyday 24/7 .. then i think you will see the grass is not greener on the other side. to me it the age old battle of the sexes again. i am sorry but i can't agree with you why because for a short time i was a stay at home dad / mom.. you think it's easy to look after two young kids clean house bedrooms bathroom kitchen living room and change diapers give the kids there bottle clean em up put em to bed do the laundry cook dinner then clean up afterwords .. my so worked so why should she..oh yes all the wonderful GIRL things we do.. and all you do is what !!!! put on a outfit makeup heels and then what ? .... sorry pms/ing i will stop now hugs Marissa

[GG Vanya]

MJ, nope, you can't be PMSing dear but you have posted a very good response!

And thank you as well Stepenie! It's nice to see that we GGs don't always have to post in our own defense.

Amy, I only *wish* being a GG was as idealistic as the view you have. You think "that time of the month" is our only downside? :eek:

Try these on for size:

Glass ceilings in our chosen professions.
Menopause.
Being raped and accused of asking for it because we wear a short skirt.
Unplanned pregnancies and the decision to or not to abort, and the guilt.
Being oggled like pieces of meat in an open air market.
Being expected to "deliver the goods" if taken out to eat.
Having set the alram early so we have time to fret with our hair and makeup every morning before work.
Bad hair days.
Fluid retention and being miserable that our clothes are too tight.
Wearing heels so much our feet become distorted and mal formed.
Wearing hose in 100 degree heat.
Laying out our clothes the night before, to save time in the morning making sure everything "goes together", OH and making sure we have hose with no runs for the next morning.
Keeping up with the current trends in clothing styles. (which I refuse to do BTW~hence my choice of "classic" styles.


Lord I could go on and on and on...but surely you get the idea?

I raised three sons, and every morning I was thankful that I didn't have to go through the "Mom my hair looks nerdy today" or "I'm not wearing this, I wanna wear *this*! comments I heard with my God daughter.

[Kerry Owens]

Thanks Vanya, I'll add one thing to this also...historically women and children first from a sinking ship was blunt acknowledgement that they were the least likely to survive in open sea. Look at those dresses women wore in the 1800-1900's, long, heavy and with multiple petticoats. Even steerage passengers had similar if less ornate and fewer layers. A woman in open sea with that dress did not stand a snowballs chance in the proverbial location of surviving.
Even worse in nightgowns that were equally long, and less protective.
I hate to point that out, but simply put, womens fashion in earlier times was not designed for womens comfort, or for their ease of movement. It was heavy, awkward and restricting being in a open sea without help was tantamount to a death sentence.

[GG Vanya]

And lest we leave out one of the *worst* things about being a female:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ana_Carolina_Reston

The deadly pressure to be skinny.

This model died because of it.

[Shannon CD]

By the way, I've never known a woman to go quickly from relationship to relationship. Usually, they break up with someone because they know the relationship is a mistake, even if they know they won't have anyone else for a while. Most of the time when men break up with someone, they've already got another one lined up to take her place. That's been my experience anyway.

Lex,

I'm sure it's just my experience, maybe I'm an exception, but every relationship that I've been in that has ended (which have been all of them, as I'm not currently with someone) the woman has gone DIRECTLY into another relationship. I, on the other hand, spent 2 years between my first and second, 1 year between my second and third, and 13 years between my 3rd and fourth. I never had another one set up as I was always still in love with the one that I lost. It has been 2 months since my last relationship ended, which, in my life, means my days of being alone have not even begun. Like I said, I'm an exception.

As for the original post, the way I see it it is all about perspective. Amy's perspective of the female gender came at an early age, as did mine and I'm sure every other gurl here. I'm sure it is the same for the FtM's. It's the "grass is always greener" syndrom that Marissa mentioned in her post. We all tend to be envious of the best things in another person's life while ignoring the negatives. For example, I remember being very envious that a woman could either "choose" to work for a living or find someone to take care of her without any social repercussions. A man is expected to earn a living, otherwise he is lazy. Once again this is simply perspective, as the other side of the viewpoint is as Vanya pointed out; the glass ceiling (and salary inequities).

Logic dictates that both genders have their share of problems, but if you are a hopeless romantic (as I am) then factoring in those issues just isn't practical for the fantasy of it.

For me, I don't think I started crossdressing because I was jealous of how easy women had it. To put it bluntly I was trying to create the woman that I wanted to meet. I dress in clothing I want to see women in. Plus the fact that it is "taboo" adds an element of risk...very envigorating. But I don't think it ends there. I do believe that my desire to CD is multi-fasceted, not easy to define in a sentence or even a paragraph.

Please don't be hard on Amy, she was simply giving a perspective.

[Stacy GG]

Hi Ladies and Gents,

Girls on the other hand have to be prettied. Hair just right, brushed, curled, dyed, combed. Their clothes have to be perfect, pretty with no spots or stains. Even their finger nails get painted. Girls would get all the attention from everyone especially relatives.:heehee: (Oh you look so pretty!!!) Then there's the boy, (Oh, you look Handsome) It used to be when a girl was young and went to school, they HAD to wear dresses, or skirts and blouses to school. Boys all wore the same ol thing, shirts and pants. I remember sitting behind girls at school and seeing the way the blouses buttoned up the back and the dresses zipped up or buttoned up, knowing that they must have to have help from someone to exscape them when changing into something else. At home a girl can be of help around the house, a boy is just in the way making a mess. (go outside and find something to do). Girls would have girlfriends and they would come over and play house and dressup games or try on each others clothes. Boys would build something or tear it down. Boys would learn how to kill animals (hunting) and fight. Girls learn to help one another, boys are taught how to fight one another. In the winter time they wore tights or pants under thier dresses, but were removed once at school. Once again it was so that a girl would be presented as a pretty girl. Girls got the attention even at school, the teachers would tell the girls to sit up straight and keep your legs together (Act like a LADY). Even the word (GIRL!!!) is cheerful. (BOY) just sounds so drab and plain. Girls are (PRETTY!!!):happy: Boys are (HANDSOME).:rolleyes: Then you have (WOMAN!!!) and you have a (MAN). You have (LADIES!!!) and you have (GENTALMEN). I know there is a down side to being Female, it's that time of the month. But, you know what boys go through puberty. Girls, very rarely have to fight for the attention of the opposite sex. Boys, have to bend over backwards to get the attention of a beautiful girl, and if she doesn't like the way you look, you don't stand a chance. Boys usally have to take a girl (Lady)from another boy (Man). Girls usally go from one relationship to another with no time lost in between. I know there were times when I went for many months without a SO. I do see a down side for the girls (Ladies), they have so many Boys (Men) trying for them that every once in a while they get one wanting them that they don't want anything to do with and can't get rid of them. Unless a Man has alot of money he doesn't stand much of a chance these days. Even the Dating services tell the men to get your finaces in shape before looking for a mate. I am sorry, I know this is long and drawn out, but I just wanted to express the way I feel. I know that there will be a lot of feedback on this one and many other views. This is my view and I am sure I could go on and on, but I will end it here for now.

wow, so many misconceptions in one place...I've never had to be pretty to get a guy. mainly cause I asked them out...and no when I boke up with a guy ( or he broke up with me ) I almost never had someone "lined up". I think that idea is called a "being a gold digger " I've not dressed up since early highschool because I never liked being oggled. (Middleschool boys are so indescreet!). oh yes, I have never chosen a guy because of money, I would usually go by how they treated me, or others. yes, everyone goes through puberty ( not just guys!) and there is physical pain for some girls during puberty from breasts growing, and the new "time of the month" which leads to lots of potential embarrasment. ( can you imagine running around in blood stained shorts?) . Oh yes, for the record I've never had guys fight over me, though I have fought with other girls over a guy!

[Amy Hepker]

Well I se I have a great debate here. This good as we all need to be open with how we got here. For one thing I am 50 and have had many GGirlfriends through out my life. I have had 2 wifes, one for 4 years the other for 15 years. Both cheated on me and had someone else lined up long before the break up. I have never cheated and will not ever. I raised 2 kids, one being a girl and the other a boy, who still lives with me. He is 12, my girl is now 19. I pretty much raised the girl myself and worked. My daughter and myself raised my son. I do know all about kids and changing diapers, and cleaning up puke after my wife ran off gagging herself. I only really left one girl and she was alittle bit crazy (literally). I guess the other were just smarter than I was and that's why they cheated on me. Like I said I have had many GGirlfriends. A few I lived with for some time others not long at all. I have always felt that I am (as we all are here) a Special person as I can be 2 people. I would love to have been the girl even if it meant not dancing, myself I never went to a dance, Oh yea there was the one time in 8th grade when I was made fun of by a couple of snobby girls just to see what I would do. Of course I did nothing that night and tried to talk with her at a later time to find out that she had a boyfriend and was doing it to make fun of me. That was my first and last dance. I do know what it is like when nobody wants you around. But alass the ugly duckling has turned into a handsome hunk. (Oh boy) I have found my true LOVE and wish I would have many years ago. Like I said she treats me good and we Truly do LOVE each other. She is still trying to accept Amy as I am still trying to accept myself. I do miss all the fun of growing up Female and having the loving times with my mother and sisters that I could never have as a guy. There are a lot of things a girl has to be taught and has to do, but this only brings a mother daughter relationship closer. Something that my daughter never got from her mother. My xwife was to deep into Cystal Meth and drinking to be much of a mother to either kid. I have been both to both of them. The Lady I am with now is wonderful and I would not give her up and I hope and pray that she never leaves me. I do what I can to make her comfortable and help out as she is handicapped, and has Fibremiagia. I can't always do as much as I want because I am not always home like I would like to be. I am still in search of that elusive home job, or at least a great paying job where I could be home everynight. I am a truck driver now and am home every weekend and once or more during the week. There are many times I was and am glad I am male, but I still miss growing up Female. I think the point I was getting at was the reason why guys who crossdress go wild and want everything girls have when we think or get the sign it maybe alright with our partner to dress, and that this is a big problem with the Females. To MUCH to FAST!

[Amy Hepker]

Wow that's it no more comments??? Cool.

[Calliope]

you think it's easy to look after two young kids clean house bedrooms bathroom kitchen living room and change diapers give the kids there bottle clean em up put em to bed do the laundry cook dinner then clean up afterwords ..

That's pretty much my life, right there. My SO grouses how I don't 'really work,' but I notice she gets 2 days off every week and I rarely get a single day a month. [Sung to the tune of 'I Enjoy Being A Girl.']

[Marianna]

Amy some of your insights have merit but I have another point of view for you. I have been CD since I was about 7 years old. Wearing my mother or sisters clothes. My mother was always just as concerned about my appearance and my sisters. My hair had to be perfect, manners perfect etc... At school dances I was the one sitting on the side trying to get the courage up to talk to a girl or other guys. I grew up shy confused and disoriented about who and what I was. As I got older I thought I was TS or gay because my father was gay and maybe I got messed up in the womb. Of course when I brought this up to my mother she just said "you will grow out of it". Well I have finally figured out who and what I am (much to the relief of my wife) and believe that both sexes have the same difficulties. We can not be put into a box and labeled. CaptLex had some very good points seeing things from the FTM point of view.

[Kathryn Philips]

Most of us developed this idea of wanting to dress as the other sex at a very young age. This could be because we are very impressionable at an early age. As boys we see that girls have a close relationship with mom.:hugs: Mom will tend to spend more time with a girl in teaching her to be a girl....

My first memory of wanting to wear girl clothes was when I was 4 or 5, before my sister was born. I therefore think in my case it is nature, not nurture.

[Scotty]

By the way, I've never known a woman to go quickly from relationship to relationship. Usually, they break up with someone because they know the relationship is a mistake, even if they know they won't have anyone else for a while. Most of the time when men break up with someone, they've already got another one lined up to take her place. That's been my experience anyway.


It's across both spectrums, it's co-dependency at it's finest.

I've seen both do it.

[CaptLex]

I'm sure it's just my experience, maybe I'm an exception, but every relationship that I've been in that has ended (which have been all of them, as I'm not currently with someone) the woman has gone DIRECTLY into another relationship.
As I said Shannon, it's been my experience - not a rule carved in stone.


As for the original post, the way I see it it is all about perspective. Amy's perspective of the female gender came at an early age, as did mine and I'm sure every other gurl here. I'm sure it is the same for the FtM's. It's the "grass is always greener" syndrom that Marissa mentioned in her post. We all tend to be envious of the best things in another person's life while ignoring the negatives. For example, I remember being very envious that a woman could either "choose" to work for a living or find someone to take care of her without any social repercussions. A man is expected to earn a living, otherwise he is lazy. Once again this is simply perspective, as the other side of the viewpoint is as Vanya pointed out; the glass ceiling (and salary inequities).
I agree with the theory that the grass is always greener on the other side (I say that all the time), but being somewhat between genders at the moment (and believing I can see both sides), I was trying to point out the side Amy wasn't seeing. As for a woman "choosing to work". Man, I wish I had known that when I lived as a woman - then I could have stayed at home and had someone support me. Now, why did I choose to work? Oh yeah, that's right, 'cause my son would have gone hungry. :rolleyes:


Please don't be hard on Amy, she was simply giving a perspective.
I don't think I was hard on her at all - just trying to give her a glimpse to the other ("greener") side.

[CaptLex]

Amy, I'm sorry for all you've been through in your past relationships and I'm glad that you've found some happiness now. I think I can see where you're coming from, but again I have to point something out . . .


I do miss all the fun of growing up Female and having the loving times with my mother and sisters that I could never have as a guy. There are a lot of things a girl has to be taught and has to do, but this only brings a mother daughter relationship closer.
I did grow up female, and for me it wasn't as fun and rosy as you seem to think it is for all women. I never had "loving times" with my mother or my rotten sister and nothing that my mother taught me, or the things that I tried to include her in, brought us closer (Lord knows I finally had to give up). It's a nice dream but it didn't come true for all women, so don't think you only missed out because of your gender. :Peace:

[Shannon CD]

As I said Shannon, it's been my experience - not a rule carved in stone.

I agree with the theory that the grass is always greener on the other side (I say that all the time), but being somewhat between genders at the moment (and believing I can see both sides), I was trying to point out the side Amy wasn't seeing. As for a woman "choosing to work". Man, I wish I had known that when I lived as a woman - then I could have stayed at home and had someone support me. Now, why did I choose to work? Oh yeah, that's right, 'cause my son would have gone hungry. :rolleyes:

Exactly my point, Lex. That was my "perspective" and not what turned out to be reality. Just to be clear, though, only the first paragraph of my post was in response to yours, the rest was about the thread in general. Reading over it I see that I didn't make that point clear, and for that I appologize.

[Jammie Lyann]

Ok just my :2c: wheather you are female or male , the time between relationships has no baring, its different for everyone, it all depends on when that person feels ready to start dating again.

Not to sound bias here, but as a male :eek: I have played the clubs in my 20's an have noticed that when there is 20 women an 100 men, weather you are the best looking male or easest to get along with, it is ultimatly up to the woman whom she takes home or goes home with or if she goes home alone, weather it's for one night or a long term relationship.

Dont get me wrong I have seen the women that have sat on the side lines just hoping for a guy to come up an ask them for a dance, an never get looked at twice, an have I been just as guilty in walking past them.

While in my 20's my wife might have been one of them women that I may have walked past, I was introduced to her buy a good freind an we went out on several dates before anything happened, we have been togeather 7 years + , an now in my eyes she is the most beautyful woman I could have ever found, she has a very BIG heart an Loves to help people, no matter how emotionlly draining it is on her :hugs:

But it was her choice in those first couple weeks, weather or not she wanted to continue the relationship, all I could do was stand back an strut my feathers an try to show her what I was made of :D an hope that I was the right stuff.
Did she feel the same way with me, I cant not say only she can, this is just my side of the events an how I felt at the time. however I did ask her once, told her to be honest, would I have been someone she would have dated in high school an she said: Hell no (ouch) , but as we grow older our views on how we see others change.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, perception is everything I guess. Even if I were a genetic woman, I would never have the idea that I could just sit home and let someone support me but that is exactly how a whole generation of women were taught once. They were brought up to become appealing to men so they could "land" a good husband who would support them. Sorry, my self respect would never allow for something like that whether I was a man or woman. Many women thus lived in "La la" land in the 50's and 60's until the harsh reality of free sex, cheating and divorce set in. Maybe this is why my femme self has become an "independent woman", I dunno but it is what it is. What I have learned is if I want to be a "woman" per se, I need to make my own way. I need to be aggressive and not sit back and wait on others, especially men. I don't sit there at the club waiting for someone to buy me a drink or ask me to dance. I buy my own, offer to buy others drinks and either dance by myself or ask someone to. Biology is one thing but can you imagine where the human race would be if women waited for men to have "gumption"? The old expression:" Faint heart never won fair maid" is very true. The problem is that if "fair maid" waited for "faint heart" to ask, there would never be any children. I've learned one thing. The real "power" behind the throne is the queen and women really run things. The one exception is the F T M guys who have seen both sides of the fence. In my opinion, they are more manly than "real" men because they know what it's really all about.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

theres another thing as well to being GG. rejection :( when u think blokes really like you, yet they want you for "just one thing". that hurts us GG's alot. and we have to carry that around with us everytime we get re-jected ! if u had to swap roles with us GG'S for one day, and take on "ALL" our roles, ud soon see what we go through. :rolleyes: there me ranting done lol :thumbsup:

[Kate Simmons]

theres another thing as well to being GG. rejection :( when u think blokes really like you, yet they want you for "just one thing". that hurts us GG's alot. and we have to carry that around with us everytime we get re-jected ! if u had to swap roles with us GG'S for one day, and take on "ALL" our roles, ud soon see what we go through. :rolleyes: there me ranting done lol :thumbsup: I know what you mean, Hon. Even as a M T F CD I've experienced that from guys. Once they get their "thing" from you, you are just a left over piece of "meat" as far as a lot of them are concerned. I've learned to empower myself in that respect though and get what I can from them also. The other trick is to know when a guy is being genuine with his feelings for me and then I feel special. As Ericka, I DO have the knack of putting them in their "place" though.:heehee: Ericka/Rich

[rachel_in_mi]

Good Day all,

There are a ton of great thoughts and perspectives here and it truly gives both sides of the story. I have had many of the same thoughts as to what it would have been liking growing up female.....not having the pressure of making the first move, not "having" to work as hard to make money, and all of the social pressure of being a male but......since I have been taking a serious role in my cd experience I have really seen the light on a lot of other things such as how much time it takes to look good...makeup, nails, hair removal, etc.... this is a TON of work (very enjoyable for me but nonetheless very hard work). Additionally, even though I love the clothes you definitely need a lot more. My drab clothes will fit in a normal closet with a few dresser drawers whereas I could never have enough space for all of the female clothes I would want (especially shoes). Some of the posts here have also brought up some great points about careers, rape and the social pressures with being female that I think get overlooked.

Great thread as are most threads on this site. I do not post much yet as I am still coming to terms with the "public" side of my persona but I do love it here.

thanks

rach

[kittypw GG]

Hey, Amy:

I hope you feel better now - sounds like you really wanted to get that off your chest. You pointed out a lot of things in your post, but I just wanted to address this part of it - to point out the other side of it, if I may. While guys may resent having to be the ones who usually initiate communication with women, how do you think it feels for a woman to sit waiting to be noticed? At a party, you hope someone will ask you to dance (that's why so many women dance with each other). You see other girls being asked to dance or offered a drink, etc. and you think you're just not attractive enough. From the other side of the fence, it seems that men are the lucky ones who can pick and choose who they want to be with, not the ones who sit around like merchandise waiting to be chosen. I can see both sides of the coin, and wanted to point this out.

By the way, I've never known a woman to go quickly from relationship to relationship. Usually, they break up with someone because they know the relationship is a mistake, even if they know they won't have anyone else for a while. Most of the time when men break up with someone, they've already got another one lined up to take her place. That's been my experience anyway.


Right on Captlex. The grass is always greener on the other side don't you think? Kitty

[CaptLex]

Exactly my pint, Lex. That was my "perspective" and not what turned out to be reality. Just to be clear, though, only the first paragraph of my post was in response to yours, the rest was about the thread in general. Reading over it I see that I didn't make that point clear, and for that I appologize.
Okay, Shannon, now I gotcha - thanks. :happy:

[CaptLex]

Right on Captlex. The grass is always greener on the other side don't you think? Kitty
Yeah, Kitty, I think we should change the name of this thread to just that. :thumbsup:

[Shannon CD]

Okay, Shannon, now I gotcha - thanks. :happy:

No prob, CaptLex.