Pressure ?

[Roberta Lynn]

This was posted by GGVanya to a different thread
I didn't want to hijack that thread so I'll ask my questions here.

"When Trudi and I first married I felt those "pressures" when she dressed as well. She wasn't pressuring me mind you, but I felt as if every time she dressed something was expected? of me, or I needed to perform? in some way.

Finally I had the heart to heart with her, and now realize that nothing changes in our home, regardless of whether it's him in BVD's or her in panties. I don't act any differently, unless of course we've planned something wickedly special but I know well in advance of those times".

What caught my eye is if you were to change the names my wife could have written it.
We had the same talk on the same subject not more than a month ago.

My question to the wives and SOs. Is this a common concern? Have you or do you feel this pressure?

And to those of you that dress in front of your SO. Do you think your partner feels this pressure?

[Sandra]

When I first found out about Nigella yes I felt the same, it was as if each time she dressed I felt like I had to "perform" as Vanya put it. In the begining like most it was sexual for Nigella and I thought as time went on that when she dressed sex was going to be the end result, it wasn't until we talked about it that she told me that sex wasn't what she was after (well not all the time) ;) but she just enjoyed wearing the clothes. Good job it isn't sexual now with her bieng 24/7 I'd be :censor: :D

[kittypw GG]

Yes, the pressure is very real. I feel that I am expected to help with makeup, pick out clothes, and fix the hair. Once the women is together, I am expected to stay engaged in conversation, take pictures and be the aggressor of intimacy. When we are out I am expected to make him feel comfortable and less nervous. Woo him out of the car or hotel room and encourage him to feel comfortable where he is looking like he does. I am expected to make him feel pretty. When we go out enfeme then after he is all fixed up then I feel less energy to put towards myself because he has consumed most of it so I rush to get ready. Sometimes when we get were we are going then he is too nervous to get out of the car. :sad: The last time I went in without him and had a drink before comeing back out. How is that for pressure???? I have pulled back some now, but the pressure to maintain the standard of the past it still present. Kitty

[Robin Leigh]

Sometimes when we get were we are going then he is too nervous to get out of the car. :sad: The last time I went in without him and had a drink before comeing back out. How is that for pressure????
I think you're too patient, Kitty. I can understand being nervous, but that's ridiculous! I would've said "Out of the car, Bitch!" :D I reckon your SO owes you bigtime for putting you through that sort of routine. Maybe you should institute a penalty system. :devil:

:hugs:

Robin

[Tree GG]

Yep. Not only the consultant, protector, photographer & chauffeur; and then I'm suppose to go on a date with someone I'm not sure I know. I know how to be comfortable and interact with the guy underneath, but I don't believe that's what he's looking for. So without a clear instruction book or direct communique from him or "her", I'm lost. +? :straightface: