CDR's V GG's WHY???????? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

JulieCDorlando

11-21-2006, 04:05 PM

Hello Ms. Jess,
In answer to your question of why some CDer's brag about how they look in comparison to GG's is something I have often thought about myself. I do not see myself in competition with anyone, especially with a GG. I would undoubtly loose in the end. I can accept being inferior to some, but on an equal basis with most of everyone. I do go onto other CD forums in addition to this one here and read the same thing on most all of them. More often than not, their opinions about how they perceive themselves falls short of the reality of how they actually look in the eyes of others. For example, I am sure there is 350 lbs CD that believes he/she looks fabulous in a thong In comparison to a GG of much smaller porportions. :rofl: In other words it is mostly a fantasy of these arrogant ones, at the expense of GG's and other decent CD's. Words and actions can be deadly when used for the wrong reasons.
If there is any competion between GG's vs CD's it is in my humble opinion that GG's win hands down. GG's are far and wide much more beautiful due more so to their inner beauty as well as their outward appearance. By inner beauty I mean, the compassion, understanding, forgivness, the way that GG's give of themselves to others, and last but certainly not the least is the way GG's love. Some CD's lack tack, humility, compassion, understanding, respect, etc. As much as we CD's try to emmulate females, we do hold on to some degree the male competion part.
Please accept my apologies and try to forgive those that come across as arrogant, and/or short sighted. Most CD's are humble and honest, but there are always a few that enjoy boasting and making statements just to get a reaction out of everyone, and often at the expense of the ones most CD's want and need acceptance from. From my perspective there isn't any competition. I CD because I joined your team a while ago;)

CaptLex

11-21-2006, 04:09 PM

Well 43 views and no replies I wonder why that is? Perhas you've scared them off Jess ;)
Well, I'm one of the 43 viewers, Sandra, but I didn't want to respond since I'm neither an MtF nor a GG. However, in case anyone is counting pennies, here's my :2c: . . . although I don't know who you are quoting, it sounds like insecurity to me, Jess. Insecure people often try to make themselves look better by putting other people down. :rolleyes:

Wendy me

11-21-2006, 04:13 PM

Why do we need statments like that ??????????? I didn't realise we were meant to be in some kind of competition here

well OK my input here??? we are and for ever are not only cd's gg's tv's or what ever you might want to be called .... the trouble and the problem are one in the same and it's so simple .... because it's what we are ..... because we are people and people right wrong or other Wise do and say silly things ... it's a classic example of people being people.... problem solved....

Sheila

11-21-2006, 04:14 PM

JulieC,

thankyou for your reply and for your apology on behalf of the
arrogant, and/or short sighted cdr's of which group you very obviously do not belong to

:hugs: Jess

ubokvt

11-21-2006, 04:16 PM

Who cares what they say the fact remains imitation will always be the greatest form of flatery and we know it.

Tree GG

11-21-2006, 04:19 PM

Jenna1561

11-21-2006, 04:42 PM

I have given a bit of thought to this, my reply. Any reply is most likely going to upset someone. I think that many CDers want to be considered "good looking" even if it's only in their own mind. As such they look for women that they think they are prettier than for comparison and justification.

I know that I compare myself to most women that are similar in age and build to me and wonder if I look as womanly as they do. I know that they have lived the full life of a woman (I feel my envy rising) and don't worry about looking like a woman, because they are a woman, no matter how much makeup they are or are not wearing or what clothes they put on that day - they ARE WOMEN. But I will ALWAYS have personal insecurities in my looks because I was born male and so desparately want to be perceived as a woman. I will either have to go through costly body alterations to achieve a more feminine appearance or work some kind of makeup magic to be thought of as a woman, but I will always have insecurities.

So, yes, there are times when I think to myself, "I look as good or better then she does." BUT, she IS a woman, I am not. I am just trying to boost my confidence, sadly by trying to tear someone else down. I would never tell anyone that I think that I look prettier than so-and-so; nor would I normally write that down for someone else to read. I say in this forum that I think that at times, only to be honest about my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I just want to think that I'm truly passable in the looks department and I look for ways to justify that opinion to myself. Sad, but true.

I hope I don't offend too many with this post, and if I offend you, I am sorry and apologize for my crudeness.

Jenna

Margot

11-21-2006, 04:58 PM

It seems that all somewhat similar segments of society rate one another so I suppose cd's, gg's, tv's or tg's are also likely to do the same thing. The common factor is human nature and that we all share.
Not too philisophical I hope.

Margot :hugs:

11-21-2006, 05:16 PM

Perhaps this was posted by an individual who held views similar to those who posted the following paraphrased excerpts (not direct quotes, and thank you for noticing):

Non-supportive GG's are insecure and have control issues.

Look at the bright side, it's an additional friend, not a replacement. (If he sings "Tree's got a new girlfriend..." one more time ........:eek: )

And my all time favorite:

I couldn't find the girl of my dreams so I decided to become her (or something like that).

:heehee: :D :happy: :devil:

hi there thats my all time favorite.. maybe i could use that. he he...
well i think next time someone uses that statement and don't show an avatar the they should prove it :happy: .. hugs

oh and i would never say anything like that because all you gg would be all over me " and not in a nice way"

Holly

11-21-2006, 05:21 PM

...I didn't realize we were meant to be in some kind of competition hereJess, we're not. Well, at least most of us:D . But the sad fact is that we all make comparisons between ourselves and others... I have a nicer house than so-and-so, or my breasts are perkier than so-and-so's, or my kids are better than so-and-so's, etc. Most of us, however have the common decency and sense to not verbalize such thoughts. In the end, what matters most with being satisfied with who we are and what we have. If we can come to peace with that, then comparisons become meaningless.

CarmenG

11-21-2006, 05:40 PM

well OK my input here??? we are and for ever are not only cd's gg's tv's or what ever you might want to be called .... the trouble and the problem are one in the same and it's so simple .... because it's what we are ..... because we are people and people right wrong or other Wise do and say silly things ... it's a classic example of people being people.... problem solved....

:clap: :clap:

My My Wendy how you have changed !!!!
(your pic):drooling:

Julie York

11-21-2006, 05:50 PM

Country girl

11-21-2006, 06:29 PM

What thread is that comment taken from? It's a bit hard to judge fairly out of context isn't it?

All he says is that dressed as a woman he looks better than some women he knows. Maybe he is stunning as a CD, maybe he knows some ugly women?

What's wrong with that?

I think the point Jess was trying to make is we don't need statements like that on this forum. We are here to support each other not make anyone feel inferior. I think we all know or have seen pictures of CD's that are amazingly gorgeous but to make a statement, that in effect puts other people down is uncalled for. "My dad is stronger than your dad" :devil: statements are completely unnecessary on this forum. It would be like one of us GG's saying that y'all will never be as good as us because we were born female. How wrong is that? :eek: Again we are here to support each other, not to be in competition. For what it's worth, that's my:2c: .

Calliope

11-21-2006, 06:39 PM

What thread is that comment taken from? It's a bit hard to judge fairly out of context isn't it?

That quote was nabbed from a very insecure, sorrowful post. Way outta context, needless badgering.

Julie York

11-21-2006, 06:41 PM

Country girl.
I agree, but it is hard to know what the context was.

I don't think the person was pitting themselves against the entire GG population of the planet. I think they were saying "Hey actually I don't look bad". I don't think it is was as provocative as it was made out to be.

If you played piano and one day thought" Actually I am as good as some professionals", would you think that was some sort of attack on professional musicians?

Tripper.
Indeedy!

Danielle2

11-21-2006, 06:49 PM

Country Girl,
I think you said it all and you said it very well. We should be here to support each other.

Thank You,
Danielle2

Deidra Cowen

11-21-2006, 06:54 PM

Its human nature at work sweetie!

Chiana

11-21-2006, 06:57 PM

I am pretty new here but I don't really view that as a remark to incite competition. In the short time I have been here, I have been impressed with the compassion and support of many on this forum. And that support and compassion has urged me to write things in threads that I would never verbalize. I too, would like to be able to be compared favorably with a GG in the looks department. But I certainly wouldn't think of it as being a competition or in any way negative towards the GG's out there. Maybe it was just an expression of the writers insecurities and a hope of seeking acceptance from a community that is supposed to be compassionate and understanding of his CD mindset.

Jennaie

11-21-2006, 07:02 PM

Trivial pursuit.

Kate Simmons

11-21-2006, 07:03 PM

Maybe try talking to the person? I did and know why the statement was made. No harm done to me for sure.:happy: Ericka/Rich

Megan72

11-21-2006, 07:14 PM

There is an infinate number of different physical attributes to people. Each person is beutiful in their own way.

The comment is juvenile in a way, but shows us the competative nature of the animal kingdom. To try and compare myself physically with a GG or another CD is silly. I am my own person and have my own qualities that others might like to have.

Audry

11-21-2006, 08:08 PM

I am the greatest I am Grand I go to a movie and hold my hand I put my arm around my waist then I get fresh and slap my own face... Hee Hee

TeriAnn

11-21-2006, 08:16 PM

All I know is that I try my best and go from there. I know I will never look like a GG but I will try my best to look the best that I can. If folks out thre that judge cder's as weird or sick I say just let them eat cake and take a long walk off a short blank:2c:

GypsyKaren

11-21-2006, 08:34 PM

I agree with Julie York, and I also think a lot is being made of this for nothing. When I used to go out in drab I sometimes would run into GGs who still looked worse than me, it's just the law of averages and the facts of life...no big deal.

Karen

Scotty

11-21-2006, 08:49 PM

Why do we need statments like that ??????????? I didn't realise we were meant to be in some kind of competition here

Well here's my take..

I've never made that statement but I think I can understand why someone would......

Initially, the first time my SO helped me out with make- up and I looked back in the mirror I was in shock, I FELT that I looked GREAT.

Maybe a tad of narcicism involved there? I felt it that first time a GG helped me out. I felt that I looked GOOD.

My SO had issues with how I looked and I never did that again with her because of HER statement, from an SO - that matches that statement above.

I was not comfortable with her making that statement, it excited me on one hand and scared me on the other.

We all WANT to pass, and her other statement was something about "the guys would be all over you". At the time that bothered me although today I would take it as a compiment.

There is a lot of narcicism I suppose because we WANT to look good, but I see myself in a few pics and think I look good, I see myself in reality and see that I would need a LOT of work to look as good as ANY GG........

Figure most of us spent 30-40 years as a male and we see a female looking back in the mirror.....it's exciting initially, and that leads to some dumb things being possibly said!!

Whew....

11-21-2006, 08:54 PM

well the one of the manny qulaties this forum has is support each other. and respect ..i for one would never put down or insult anyone.. well i hope i have not.. i think we all need to think more before we post.. something that might be said in fun may hurt someone else...

Lilith Moon

11-21-2006, 08:55 PM

Trivial pursuit.

Yup, somebody was saying "I think I look good" and all hell has broken loose. Whatever happened to tolerance ?

Lisa Golightly

11-22-2006, 03:07 AM

I didn't realise we were meant to be in some kind of competition here

I thought the whole process of life was competition... Or at least when I read Darwin and Dawkins they kind of skewed to the 'get it on you sexy moma' view of genetics. Genetic males have a visual faculty that scans everything and sorts it into breeding categories... Ah, I can hear the kindling wood being gathered, but before you light that match you might want to untie me from this stake because it's all true.

That's why men have such a big pull toward pornography because they get to do the visual one-over, and when out on the street it's the same. In this world there are different types of category... For some it's a great looker, others a great looker in great clothes... I myself look at the clothes, and some look at the men.

I have to admit that the belief that there is no competition amongst women seems utopian... many is the time I've been party to the 'did you see her?' 'in that dress!' 'and that hair!!!' conversation. It's just that women are slightly more... tactful :devil: .

in summary Dr Golightly concludes that when dressed as the object of attraction there is a natural sense of attraction, we all seek our other half. Combine this with the competitive nature of male and you have Atlas to Helen in a 100 metre dash.

Oh flip... here come the other lot with pitchforks... :rolleyes:

See this is why I like it in no man's land... I like my clothes, I'm naturally shy and I have a mousey personality...

So are you going to let me off this stake? ... :tongueout

Sheila

11-22-2006, 04:34 AM

Yup, somebody was saying "I think I look good" and all hell has broken loose. Whatever happened to tolerance ?

somebody saying I look good not a problem, it's the putting down of GG's that p**ses me off.

A lot of us accept that nope we ain't beautiful in the looks dept, Heck on here I see GMs presenting look wise far far better than I ever could, My DH has legs I would kill him for, A lovely rear end (whether dressed or not ---:D :happy:) and as for his eyes well they are to die for :sigh: ;)

What I am trying to get across is why not just leave the statment at --
I think I look pretty good without adding ---- even more attractive than a few girls I know in real life.

Jess

Susan Johnson

11-22-2006, 06:45 AM

There should be no competition. GGs win everytime even without makeup. to look even remotely female requires a long time and a lot of makeup for me. My wife will sometimes help me apply makeup and will tell me I look good. I look in the mirror and think that the reflection I see is not the one that people normally see when they look at me, That does not mean anyone would mistake me for female! My wife very seldom wears makeup and always looks feminine and attractive. (We have been married for over 30 years). She will help me buy makeup by making the purchase while I stand as if I am advising her on what would best for her and will buy clothing I want while I stand back in a similar manner. What I am trying to say is that although I will try to look as good as I can, there is no way I would try to out do my lovely wife or would be able to, even with the most skilled makeup artist. Having seen some of the pictures of the girls on here, some of you are very passible, some less so but as long as everyone is happy with their personal results what does it matter. The genetic girls have a great advantage in that they have a natural feminine look which takes a long time for a more masculine appearing person to make a 'pale imitation' of. Girls win, we can only flatter them by trying to imitate nature.
Susan.
(sorry for the length of the post but I just ramble on):hugs:

tall_brianna

11-22-2006, 10:34 AM

I thought the whole process of life was competition... Or at least when I read Darwin and Dawkins they kind of skewed to the 'get it on you sexy moma' view of genetics. Genetic males have a visual faculty that scans everything and sorts it into breeding categories... Ah, I can hear the kindling wood being gathered, but before you light that match you might want to untie me from this stake because it's all true.

That's why men have such a big pull toward pornography because they get to do the visual one-over, and when out on the street it's the same. In this world there are different types of category... For some it's a great looker, others a great looker in great clothes... I myself look at the clothes, and some look at the men.

I have to admit that the belief that there is no competition amongst women seems utopian... many is the time I've been party to the 'did you see her?' 'in that dress!' 'and that hair!!!' conversation. It's just that women are slightly more... tactful :devil: .

in summary Dr Golightly concludes that when dressed as the object of attraction there is a natural sense of attraction, we all seek our other half. Combine this with the competitive nature of male and you have Atlas to Helen in a 100 metre dash.

Ditto that! Jess, don't tell me GGs aren't competitive on looks. I've been privy to those comments as well.

But the statement is unnecessary and trite. Of course you look better that a few GGs, heck, unless you are at the bottom of the ugly chain, you probably look better than a few when dressed in drab.

I wouldn't take it personally.

Bluebird GG

11-22-2006, 11:27 AM

lets be nice we all are created equal, God all made us, lets embrace our beauty not be in compeition of it, there is more to share in our beauty like beauty secrets and such, we are all beauties in our own rite lets embrace it as equals. feel the luv as equals.:hugs:

Sexy_Jennifer

11-22-2006, 03:41 PM

The quest to be feminine seems to be all about the make-up and the clothes... it's great if you can feel that you're more attractive than a genetic girl, but it should be more of a case of wondering why that particular girl hasn't made more of an effort in embracing her womanhood. As cross-dressers, we sometimes curse our y-chromosomes and would give anything to have those womanly appendages and curves, and so it seems strange to see actual girls who have all this stuff and yet make a pig's ear of it, or not even bother to try to look gorgeous.

If you really think you're a better looking girl than a GG, then remove your wig, make-up, clothes etc. and then see if you still think the same... for many GGs, and especially so for CDers, looking good is all about creating an illusion.

Kerry Owens

11-22-2006, 04:15 PM

Why compete??? Isn't it truely acceptance we all need most?

Sierra Evon

11-22-2006, 04:21 PM

I find that for me that GG's are very supportive of me and I get along well with them , have gotten may advice and tips from them and still do today ...

trannie T

11-23-2006, 01:54 AM

Hello Ms. Jess,
, I am sure there is 350 lbs CD that believes he/she looks fabulous in a thong In comparison to a GG of much smaller porportions.

I do weigh 350 and I do look fabulous in a thong and if you don't take back your remark I shall post a photograph which will clearly demonstrate just how fabulous I do look in a thong.:tongueout

Sheila

11-23-2006, 03:22 AM

Trannie,
:eek: :D

Robin Leigh

11-23-2006, 03:55 AM

Some of us CDers may look prettier than some GGs. So what? They will always be female, and we will never be. And I know what's more important to me. If someone thinks I'm pretty, that's nice, but if someone mistakes me for a GG, even if only for a moment, that's fabulous! :D

Any GG will always be more of a girl than I could ever hope to be. They win that competition hands down. :happy:

As part of our search for personal identity, many of us want to know where we truly fit in the gender spectrum. However, when you think about things in terms of a spectrum, comparisons are inevitable. But gender identity is much more complex & subtle than that. As I've said before, there is no trangender spectrum, it's more like a fractal kaleidoscope.

A point to consider: the relationship between competitiveness & testosterone. :devil:

:hugs:

Robin

PS. If I ever inadvertantly offend anyone here, especially the GGs, please let me know! Sometimes my weird sense of humour can be misinterpreted. I never want to hurt anyone. I'm here to help, not to have fun at anyone else's expense.

Iniquity Blonde GG

11-23-2006, 06:05 AM

well, i suppose we had a "head" start as it were us GG's, but in a way its quite flattering that they want to dress as us GG's.:happy: but in reality ( lol ) by god, if they swapped ur roles for a day, and actualy became a "woman" :eek: anmd i think maybe the majority would soon wanna be back to being blokes !! :thumbsup:
maybe we could use the phase they have on the "jungle " celebrab programme +?
"im a woman !! get me out of ere !! " :rolleyes:

Marla S

11-23-2006, 07:31 AM

What I am trying to get across is why not just leave the statment at --
I am looking pretty good ... without adding ---- even more attractive than a few girls I know in real life.

1.) CDing needs justification.
CDing is something beyond the mainstream and has a bad, or at least false, image. Hence, there is always the question "Why you do it ?" as the sword of Damocles hanging around somewhere.
There are numerous ways of justification.
"Men wore skirts in the past"
"I want to express this and that"
"I was born this way"
"I am what I am"
"I look better than ... "
etc.

So, I see the initial statement more as a self-justification than as a disrespecting statement against women.
You can look pretty good as man too, but that's not what is ment by a CD.

2. Generalization
A lot of replys refer to the initial statements in a too general way.
It was said "better than a few girls" and not "better than all girls or women".
It might be the simple truth.
Why not mention it ?
Nobody is hurt personally by this statement nor women in general.

3. Competition is everywhere
Outer appearence is always competitive. "Looking good" means looking better than before, better or like someone else. You choose your particular style because you compete to others. That's not restricted to CDs.
(Ok, some don't care at all about their appearence)

To sum it up. As long as this kind of statements are not too general (hence false) or made in order to disrespect a particular person or a group of people, they are legitime and natural.

JulieCDorlando

11-23-2006, 08:34 AM

[QUOTE=JulieCDorlando;637067]Hello Ms. Jess,
, I am sure there is 350 lbs CD that believes he/she looks fabulous in a thong In comparison to a GG of much smaller porportions. [QUOTE]

I do weigh 350 and I do look fabulous in a thong and if you don't take back your remark I shall post a photograph which will clearly demonstrate just how fabulous I do look in a thong.:tongueout

Hello Trannie,
Oh my goodness.....I take it back!!!! I take it back !!! :surrender........ I am not worthy, I am not worthy:notworthy:..... just envisiong that, even before my Thanksgiving meal......:puke: ....... Happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone else. Enjoy your thong...errrr turkey :^5:

Country girl

11-25-2006, 11:33 PM

[quote=trannie T;638813][quote=JulieCDorlando;637067]Hello Ms. Jess,
, I am sure there is 350 lbs CD that believes he/she looks fabulous in a thong In comparison to a GG of much smaller porportions.

Hello Trannie,
Oh my goodness.....I take it back!!!! I take it back !!! :surrender........ I am not worthy, I am not worthy:notworthy:..... just envisiong that, even before my Thanksgiving meal......:puke: ....... Happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone else. Enjoy your thong...errrr turkey :^5:

:lol: :lol2: :lol: :lol2: :tongueout :OMG: y'all are just TOO funny!!!