Duality vs 24/7?

[Kate Simmons]

Figured I'd take advantage of my four days off to test whether I'd be able to be Ericka the whole weekend. I've been Ericka 24/7 for the past 3 days and believe me I'm ready for a break. I don't know how some of you gals do it all the time. Never thought I'd say that but I'm worn out from it. After taking a shower this evening to clean up, I decided not to be Ericka for the rest of the day and night. Seems like I need that "safe haven" as Richard more than I thought. I'll re-think things tomorrow but I feel maybe for me at least, duality is the best way to go. I think if I tried being Ericka 24/7, it would be too intense and not as thrilling as you may think. Being both keeps me at my peak and keeps me going really not to mention staying balanced spititually. I dunno, think I'm giving up too soon? I'll be the first one to admit it ain't easy being a "woman".:happy: Ericka/Rich

[ArleneRaquel]

I have gone 24/7 for as long as one month, but usually after about 7 - 10 days I need to take off for about 24 - 36 hours.But I always go back.:love: From Vamp Maureen

[AmberTG]

I think a lot of people need that duality in their lives. If you were seriously transgendered, that would be different, you'd want to be who you felt you are supposed to be all the time, but you don't seem to have that to deal with so the duality works well enough for you. It just is what it is, and you seem to be well adjusted to whatever it is for you. That's a good thing, many of us are not so well adjusted and self-accepting, which complicates our lives.
It'll be interesting to see how you feel about it tomorrow.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm pretty beat tonight Amber, not even going to the club to dance. Think I'm just going to have a double Jim Beam and just hit the sack. I'll be pondering this though. To think at one time I almost accepted the invitation of a farmer who likes CD's to be his live in housekeeper (or whatever). If I'd done that, I'd probably be so busy doing stuff, I wouldn't have time to think about duality and would just keep going like any good housewife. That guy sold his farm and left, so I guess I'll never know now (sigh). It's hard to find a good man let alone a good man who likes CD's. I was a lot younger then so who knows, I may have opted for transition. Duality seems to fit me better nowadays though.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Mary Jane]

I have had opportunities to dress for 5 or 6 days but have not done so. It seems to be too much work after a day or two. I guess I enjoy presenting myself as woman only on a part time basis. I rather enjoy having the 'dual' role. As has been said before: "The best of both worlds".

[MJ]

I think a lot of people need that duality in their lives.
If you were seriously transgendered, that would be different, you'd want to be who you felt you are supposed to be all the time, but you don't seem to have that to deal with so the duality works well enough for you. It just is what it is, and you seem to be well adjusted to whatever it is for you. That's a good thing, many of us are not so well adjusted and self-accepting, which complicates our lives.
It'll be interesting to see how you feel about it tomorrow.

hmm well i am. and it don't bother me anymore ..you get use to it. try it for 3 months or how about two years :happy: it would probably drive you people nuts

[Calliope]

it would probably drive you people nuts

Dang, I am nuts.

One hour in the bathroom each morning, no biggie, I used to spend twice that time writing rock & roll articles nobody wanted to buy. So I'm ahead. It's been, what, five months 24/7.

[Scotty]

I am 24/7 in the mental sense...

There is a fine line between TG and Cd in this regard though, if I could go 24/7 and not worry about what neighbors or family or anyone else would think then all of my clothes would be female. I don't concentrate on it much anymore, I just wear them. People are getting used to it.

I even wear two earrings out in public most times now, a few weird looks here and there.

But it's not just about the clothes or jewelry for me.

[GG Vanya]

I simply don't understand the thread title. If you are dual gendered, you *are* that 24/7 regardless of the outter manifestations. Trudi doesn't put away her feminine attributes when she takes off her lingerie. If she did, I'd be living/loving half the person I married when "she" isn't visibly present.

[Krystenw]

I recently spent two weeks totally as a woman, after 4 or five days I pretty much got into a routine to where it only took me about half an hour to get ready for the day. Geting dressed, makeup and everything else.
Only on one occasion did I get out my Levi's and flannel shirt, but that was because I had quite a bit of yard work to do.
If I didn't have to work for a living I'm sure I would get rid of all of my guy clothes.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Vanya, like I told you before, I sometimes am not the brightest streetlamp on the corner. I think what I was trying to say was that rather than being Ericka 24/7, like I tried over the last three days, I more or less decided (or rather confirmed) that the duality of myself being both Richard and Ericka seems to work better for me. I just can't imagine being my femme self all the time such as someone like MJ. The duality is always in my head for sure but to present as exclusively as one or the other just ain't workin'. I tried, really I did. I guess that's why Pre-op TS folks have to live a year or more in their chosen gender before anything final takes place. I've realized that the changes taking place for me now are mostly within my core self that is amalgamating and directing the other two aspects. I'm always myself but choose to appear as one or the other aspect according to how I feel and other conditions.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Scotty]

Erika I do understand what you are saying, I went through a phase like that before and during hormones, and there was my guy side and there was my femme side.

It's a balancing act and there's nothing wrong with that....

I too still have to have a guy side from time to time, helping out my ex SO doing guy stuff etc......I guess that makes me a Tomboy!

What's weird about that is I've only ever dated Tomboys - never had a frilly girlfriend - ever.....:)

[Kate Simmons]

That's where the balance comes in Scottie. Two good people will complement each other as a couple with their various aspects. What one lacks, the other one fills. I was wondering how you are feeling BTW. Feeling any better? Did you go to the Doc's?:happy: Ericka

[Audry]

Hi My frind Erika....I do the same thing at times.. must be the daul personality.
something like the movie Three Faces of Eve. were shrink would ask her,
If he could talk to one of her charactors, and she would squim around,
and fuss. untill finaly she would give in to his pleading,,, Thank Goodnes I only have Duel not Tri personality,,,, I have all I can handle now,, with Audry
I a'm divorced and still have a woman around my house I love tyo watch her fkit around doing house work in the full lenght mirrors I have placed around the house,, she dose'nt give me a hard time what so ever...:heehee:

[Calliope]

What's weird about that is I've only ever dated Tomboys - never had a frilly girlfriend - ever....

Can I ever relate to that! They always choose me, too. Been proposed to, back in '79. Breadwinners, cardrivers, fix-it types. I've been married twice and never saw lipgloss, mascara or a bottle of perfume until I procured that stuff for myself. I don't call 'em tomboys, though - they're 'high-testosterone' women.

[Kate Simmons]

Can I ever relate to that! They always choose me, too. Been proposed to, back in '79. Breadwinners, cardrivers, fix-it types. I've been married twice and never saw lipgloss, mascara or a bottle of perfume until I procured that stuff for myself. I don't call 'em tomboys, though - they're 'high-testosterone' women.Or "High Test" women for short, right Hon?:heehee: Me

[Staci]

I think this has helped you to realize who you are. I clearly prefer to dress-up more for fun than anything else. I have never thought about being a girl 24/7. I choose duality as you call it.

[Ellaine]

Interesting discussion, and something I've wanted to sort out for some time.

I have the opportunity, and don't give a fig about neighbours so I'm into my third week of 24/7 now. Shopping, gardening, washing, whatever.

So far I feel no loss of identity, just a lightening of my spirit in general. I've accepted myself as a crossdresser after many years of struggle, but now I have to wonder if I'm going to get that "had enough" feeling.
As an everyday thing, it seems so much easier. I know where all my basic clothes are for the next day. I'm at home in my handbag, i.e. I know exactly where all my bits and bobs are and putting my face on is a ten minute job. Not so long ago, dressing took me nearly two hours to sort out my outfit, find make-up and get it all to look OK. It never occurred to me that I might be so comfortable full-time. Even my wife is on-board with this self-test.

I made promises that over Christmas and for the Grandkids, I would be Grandad. I love them to bits but I am not looking forward to changing back, even for two weeks! I never seriously imagined full-time would suit me so well. I've lost no local friends and even gained a couple already!
I'm trying so hard to keep an open mind. Three months ago, all this was impossible!

Advice now, is particularly welcome.

[trannie T]

I can relate to Erika/Rich, the longest I've been dressed is for one day. At the end of the day I didn't care if I ever wore a skirt again. When I woke up I was almost ready to get dressed again. I enjoy wearing skirts and dresses, but I'm still a man wearing a dress, I enjoy looking like a woman but have no desire to actually be one.

[windycissy]

Great thread. I've gone a whole weekend (from Friday afternoon till Sunday evening) as Windy and loved it, especially in the summertime (winter in Chicago is no fun in women's clothing, although I have lately taken to wearing pants which helps a lot) but I must confess to a craving to do guy stuff: like walk alone late a night to my favorite sports bar to throw down beers and a burger) which I'd miss if I HAD to be a girl 24/7....

[Kate Simmons]

There's a lot of honesty being shared here. The most important thing is to be true to yourself because regardless of any situation or anyone else, you have to live with "you". No gettin' around it, no way, no how!:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Marla S]

Interesting question.

Maybe 24/7 simultaneous duality holds true for me.
Full drab as well as full drag I consider as masquerade which I feel uncomfortable with very soon.

[Calliope]

Or "High Test" women for short, right Hon?

Gotta nice ring to it, babe.

[Teresa Amina]

Haven't gone past one full day at a time yet myself. It's on my agenda for the New Year, sounds like a good test. Sorry you missed your Dance outing, you'll have to dance up a storm next time to make up for it:D

[vbcdgrl]

I feel basically the same, Ericka. I'm happy being able to switch as circumstances dictate. I would not consider 24/7. I do sleep in femme wear almost every night, but don't consider that "dressing".

Vikki

[Billijo49504]

Isn't it fun to be fem, 24/7? Yuck!!! I like the ability to change as I fell like being. I cross the line many times in a day. Sometime as a fem and some time as a male. How many others feel this way???BJ

[Calliope]

I cross the line many times in a day.

Whoa, your makeup costs must be intense.

[kerrianna]

For the most part I enjoy being male - it has many advantages :D . I've always been a male with strong feminine qualities (although that is passing judgement on what is male and female which I don't like to do - it's not black and white). Kerrianna just helps accentuate those qualities already in me, and switching back and forth informs each side and also makes the different emotions more interesting. Personally I'd love to see everyone feel free enough with themselves to do that - let the feminine and masculine live equally side by side.

It sure is a lot more work being female though. I've always admired women for their strength, but I'm getting a better idea of how much effort they put in to reward guys. I'm glad they think we're worth it. :love: ...most of the time. :D

[Kate Simmons]

HMMM, Been thinking a little (I do that occasionally). Remembering actually. I used to pretend (as a little boy) that by saying the magic word SHAZAM, it would transform me. With myself, however, I didn't turn into Captain Marvel but little Richard was transformed into Mary Marvel instead who had all the powers of the Captain( but was better looking). Should have taken the hint from that, I guess because that's what I do now, more or less.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[AmberTG]

I tend to try to look at it from the point of a GG, what would she wear to do this or that, and I pretty much follow that thought process. I can't wear just anything outside, too many people know me here and this is a narrow minded area so I have to use some caution, but how many women do you see in a dress to do normal, every day things anyway. Women my age tend to be more casual and less flashy so it's easier to follow that. I know enough women that aren't scared of a hammer and a saw, so who's to say that fixing something is a guy thing? I look at it this way, most every thing I do daily is stuff that women also do daily, so, other then makeup, I pretty much live the same way I would if I was living as a woman 24/7. I don't present myself as a woman, but I tend to live that way. Is that cheating?
Amber

[Patricia Danielle]

I can't see me being dressed 24/7 but it,s really a hoot to shake things up from time to time. Patricia..:D

[kerrianna]

HMMM, Been thinking a little (I do that occasionally). Remembering actually. I used to pretend (as a little boy) that by saying the magic word SHAZAM, it would transform me. With myself, however, I didn't turn into Captain Marvel but little Richard was transformed into Mary Marvel instead who had all the powers of the Captain( but was better looking). Should have taken the hint from that, I guess because that's what I do now, more or less.:happy: Ericka/Rich

:doh: D'oh!!! A Magic Word! Of course. What were we thinking what with the shaving and tucking and plucking and painting and.......A magic word will save us all so much more time.
Can we use SHAZAM Ericka/Rich or do we have to get our own magic word? :werd:

[Joni Beauman]

One time a few years ago around New Years my wife and daughter went out to west coast to visit family - I opted to stay home and "work". As it happens, I got snowed in for three days which I spent dressed the whole time en femme - in perfect isolation. The only variation was to go out into the woods in about 21 inches of fresh snow - always magically silent. I only recall the sadness of having to come down. Joni

[Kate Simmons]

:doh: D'oh!!! A Magic Word! Of course. What were we thinking what with the shaving and tucking and plucking and painting and.......A magic word will save us all so much more time.
Can we use SHAZAM Ericka/Rich or do we have to get our own magic word? :werd:SHAZAM stands for: Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, Mercury, so you are invoking the power of those guys, so if they like your femme self, they may grant them to you. I use the word in principle these days with a little help from my "friends" (Wigs, makeup, clothes) and it seems to work. I also count on the encouragement of my friends here.:hugs: Ericka/Rich

[Karren H]

I don't know if I could shed the male side.....i love getting dirty and doing guy stuff.....and it's my excuse to wear jeans....hehehe GUYS jeans!!!

Love Karren

[Marcie Sexton]

Something I haven't tried...But sounds like and interesting idea, my dressing goes from day to day to one weekly...

Its something I really would like to try...I know my SO has on more thanone occasion ask if I wanted to be a woman...That too is an interesting idea...

[Kate Simmons]

I don't know if I could shed the male side.....i love getting dirty and doing guy stuff.....and it's my excuse to wear jeans....hehehe GUYS jeans!!!

Love KarrenI love you for who you are Karren, one of my favorite guy/girls here. We all love hearing about your adventures and narrow escapes. I know it keeps you sharp, living on the edge.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[J-Girl]

I've gone 3 days fully dressed and I loved it. I had to switch because of work on the forth day. When I got back from work I didn't feel the urgent need to dress again. I guess it boils down to, if I can I do, if not I'm not heart broken. If I was a GG 24/7 I guess I would be on the FtM forum. It is nice to have both perspectives.

Jen :doll:

[Victoria Anne]

good thread Ericka,I have have not even been able to go 24/7 because of my circumstances however that said it is on my agenda.That said I know I dont want to be a woman but rather emulate women to feel comfortable in who I am as Victoria Anne and do feel she is a very real part of me ( my wife has said on more than one occassion that I have a dual personality ). Without Victoria Anne I do not feel whole, she is a necessityfor me.I beieve there are those of us who would never be comfortable living as a woman but rather need the duality of both genders to be who they are. btw thanks for the thought,I do believe it would be an interesting experiment for me to to live as a woman for a time.

[julie w]

I find close shaving and wear a wig is my problem with spending long periods femme after a couple off days my face needs a day off not my head

[JenniferMint]

I have three types of moods:

antisocial: don't feel like talking to anyone, just want to go about my business. Being male is easier
lazy: don't feel like going to the effort to dress, so I'm male by default
feminine: feel like being all pretty and feminine

I'm getting FFS on January 3 though. After that, hopefully I'll look female even without dressing explicitly, so then I'll be female most of the time (or maybe all of the time, if I can't pass as male post-FFS).