so down.

[Shelly67]

Has anyone here the same problem , and dilema as me ? I,ve recently come out to the wife - and firstly she told me she understood my dressing , but never found me sexually attractive as Michelle - she is just not attracted to women.Shes seen me several times enfemme and I havent made any passes towards her sexually ( but it would be nice to the loving comfort from the person I hold dearest to my heart) I respect her space and don,t want to force any issues .
But it has now also come to light that she hates the idea of me dressing totally .It sickens her .

I feel torn that I hurt my wife so , just by being me and dressing as a women... I,m getting the severe cold treatment after returning to my male persona , but I simply cant get my head round her attitude towards me . I,ve tried to help her in a few good ways about my crossdressing , books ect , long chats explainig my feelings , but now I feel rebuked and very much alone . I regret telling her of my female form. In short , I feel as tho I,m being punished ....I,m sorry to bleat on , but I,m finding out just how lonely life can be as a married crossdresser.
Any advice on this matter is extremely appreciated.

Hugs Michelle.

[Kate Simmons]

There are other threads about this very thing posted right now Michelle. Check them out.:happy: Ericka/Rich

[janelle]

Just want to say your not alone. My wife is the same way. It hurts like hell.
:hugs: Janelle

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Michelle,

IMHO you have to find the root cause of why your wife is so dead set against it. Maybe it isn't just the clothes. Maybe she's scared about other things, like what it might lead to. Going out in public, what the neighbors might think, hormones, religious beliefs, sexual fetish, spending all the household budget on clothes, what if your family found out? etc etc. Whatever it is that she really fears is what I would want to talk about if I was you.

When it comes to talking, it's a two way street. You have to try to get her to open up too, if and when she does, don't interrupt her, just nod your head and listen intently until she's completely finished. I'm wondering if she's the sort of wife who really likes a strong, masculine, type of a man, one where how he looks makes her feel protected? ...and therefore to see you wearing women's clothes makes her feel vulnerable, and therefore in turn it's a big turn off for her?

Finally below there's a couple of links to articles my wife wrote that ended up on the UK Beaumont Society's website. Many people have told her that they have helped them so I thought I'd share them with you. The first one is called "How to tell your partner" in it Marla gives advice from a GGs perspective about some of the things a woman might find difficult to understand about her husband's crossdressing, and offers ideas on how to approach these problems. The second link is one called "Now I Like It, Now I Don't: Understanding the Acceptance Pendulum:" it is about what to do after you have told her - often women go from acceptance to non-acceptance and then back again. Just like the first one, the article which was originally written for this website, ended up on the Beaumont Society's site too. Good luck - Angel

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/howtellpartner.html

http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/pendulum.html

[Amy Hepker]

Don't push her for awnsers as it will only push her further away. You are on very thin Ice now. It could be any number of reasons for her to act like this. Only she knows for sure. I cannot tell you what to do as I was in a very simular situation, and it ended up bad. I would ask her to talk, but let her pick the time and let her do the talking. Listen to her very closely. Don't interupt, let her say her piece, let her ask the questions. Awnser them honnestly. If you can't awnser them, ask her if she will join you on this site. I am truly sorry you are going through this and many of us have. If she really LOVES you she will talk, but only when she is ready, DO NOT PUSH her into talking. If she still wants you she will work with you. You may have gone overboard with your dressing. It may turn into a give and take process. Just make sure you can both live with the agreement. I hope she will try to understand and will work with you. You should have told her before you ever started a relationship with her.

[Shelly67]

Thank you so much for the kind words of support . We,ve chatted , openly and it seems we have at least discovered on thing - my wife feels left out . She wishes for me to wait till she,s home before Michelle comes along , and that we do it together - rather her finding Michelle already dressed and sadly a couple of times to say a little worse for wear ( I have found it to be of benefit Dutch courage almost ) for having a couple of beers before she arrives .Michelle only comes out on a Friday night , due to work commitments. I now know this to be wrong - I,m sure you,ll agree , when youre sober , a person whose had a drink can be annoying . So , this time , we,ll relax in each others company , share a glass of wine , and take it from there .
I must admit tho , she is 100% supportive to me , and I thank her for that . As for masculinity - well, some of that may run true , but I could be wrong .
I think in short , since coming out to my wife , I,ve been selfish and too wrapped up in myself , and have forgotten to try to have fun with my partner ...and consider how this has affected her .

There is so much truth in the saying a marrige must be worked at ....

she could after all , have gone totally berserk at her finding the other woman in the house was her hubby .

At least we are talking about it .

Heres looking foward to hopefully a fun time together .......

Thank you once again .