in desperate need

[Felica_ann_lendy]

i am a cd and in need of some help on coming out to my parents i would really love to be able to go full time. i am 28 and live on my one and really need some advice on the best way to tell my parents

[Megan72]

i am a cd and in need of some help on coming out to my parents i would really love to be able to go full time. i am 28 and live on my one and really need some advice on the best way to tell my parents

This is kind of hard to reply to because we do not know your own circumstance. A bit more information may be useful.

[Felica_ann_lendy]

ok what info do you need

[Megan72]

Coming out is not like putting on a skirt. No one knows you and your family so the best way to come out is something that only you will know how to do. We here can give you very general tips like be honest with them and yourself, but that does not help much, does it. The timing and the words will have to be yours.

Just understanding the totality of your circumstances helps the members here understand and to make more informative suggestions.

[Karren H]

Don't think there is really a "best way" since its totally dependent on how accepting you parents really are!! An you have to be the gage of that!

What I wouldn't do is dress up enfemme and jump out from behind the door!! Surprise!! Lol. I'd try dropping some hints and see what their reaction is to those hints. If say your mother is more accepting than your father maybe break it to her first!!

Good luck!! Your going to need it!!

Karren

[Felica_ann_lendy]

well i didn't plan on just scaring them

[Karren H]

well i didn't plan on just scaring them

That's a good start!! Hate to have one of your parents die of a heart attack and the other one shoot you for being a pervert!! Hehe

Karren

[Eileen]

Felica you need to be 100% you want to do this and protray that confidence to your parents. And yes if one will be more accepting talk with them first. Also have some articles, nothing deep, for them to look at after your talk with them. This will help them to understand you are not the only tgirl, but there are many others like you. It will also help to clam the the fears they might have about you being gay or a sexual pervert. Best of luck hon.

Eileen

[Felica_ann_lendy]

well i wish i could get the advice of some of you ladies that have done this already:D

[Ellaine]

Fine advice Eileen. It wouldn't hurt to sound them out on how they feel about crossdressers in general before standing in the frame. Perhaps find a magazine article to comment on. Then maybe wait a couple of days, a casual remark could reveal that they know something about you that you weren't aware of. Slow but sure, comes to mind.:2c:


Best o luck!

[Sienna Skye]

Hi Felica, Before you say anything to your parents, I'd advise you to try to understand why you feel the need to come out to them. Once you do say something, there's no turning back. I am in my 40's and have never felt the need to say anything to my parents. I never saw any upside to telling them.
I have a good relationship with both of them, and I always felt if they knew about my crossdressing it might change that. If you still lived at home, I might see a reason for saying something to them so you could dress more freely; but that is not the case. Just my thoughts. Follow your heart, it's usually right, Sienna

[Seraph]

Hi Felica, Before you say anything to your parents, I'd advise you to try to understand why you feel the need to come out to them. Once you do say something, there's no turning back. I am in my 40's and have never felt the need to say anything to my parents. I never saw any upside to telling them.
I have a good relationship with both of them, and I always felt if they knew about my crossdressing it might change that. If you still lived at home, I might see a reason for saying something to them so you could dress more freely; but that is not the case. Just my thoughts. Follow your heart, it's usually right, Sienna

If she wants to be able to live full time en femme, he probably really must tell his parents. I can almost imagine the look on her parents' face if they ever pay her a suprise visit.

[Janailene]

Felica,

I always wanted to tell my Mom (Dad died when I was 10), but never did. I am sure she knew but we never talked about it. Now that she htalkas also passed on, I wish that I had told her.

Shortly there will be a transgender person on Guiding Light. You could use that as an opening to determine how open they are to the concept. If that goes well Just leave this sit open on your computer. They will ask you and depending on the tone, you could brush it off or talk.

[DonnaT]

I showed my mother, albeit accidently, a headshot picture of me in my wig and makeup. I forgot it was on the camera. She took it quite well.

She looked at it a long time, but didn't know it was me. It took some convincing talk.

She then asked why Iwas made up, so I told her the whole story, starting with when it all started.

How to tell your folks depends on several things.

Do you want to talk to both at the same time, or is one more open than the other and would you prefer talking to him/her first?

You'll need to be confident and show no embarrassment.

You'll need to know the answers to questions like: Are you gay? Why did you feel the need to tell us? Do you want to be a girl?

[cheryl62]

i am a cd and in need of some help on coming out to my parents i would really love to be able to go full time. i am 28 and live on my one and really need some advice on the best way to tell my parents
its something i want to do as well hope some one can help us though i know it will be different for all of us

[Sam-antha]

As remarked, before you stand in the frame, [some time on] do try to discover what they know about Cds, their needs and desires. Maybe they think it is all tg or pervert sex ? They probably know it exists, perhaps.
A second query that might help us help you ; why do you want to tell them ?

[Calliope]

We can post our histories and opinions all day long but no one here can really give you advice. After 28 years, you should know these people pretty well. I bet they know you rather well, too - unless your family communication has been unhappy. Will your news surprise them? Look into your childhood for some clues. Will they be accepting or disapproving? What sorta ideologies do they have? Take it from there - and let us know how it goes. Best wishes.

[Felica_ann_lendy]

well that is true but it also gives me some starting points