Is there a life after TG?

[Maggie Kay]

How much of your day is taken up thinking or dealing with gender issues? I know that for me it is there in my mind as a running "background task" like a computer program all day. My dreams often continue the process. It has been this way for about seven years and has gotten more and more pressing every year. I'm not able to fulfill or fully explore my gender issues as it still is a sore subject in my family. Perhaps my situation is unique in that my inability to find out where I need to be causes me to obsess a bit. I know this sounds like an odd question but is this obsessing "normal" for a TG? If I manage to go at it to the fullest, will my obsessing abate and other facets of life like hobbies re-surface? Is there a life after TG?

Kay

[deeasheville]

How much of your day is taken up thinking or dealing with gender issues? I know that for me it is there in my mind as a running "background task" like a computer program all day. My dreams often continue the process. It has been this way for about seven years and has gotten more and more pressing every year. I'm not able to fulfill or fully explore my gender issues as it still is a sore subject in my family. Perhaps my situation is unique in that my inability to find out where I need to be causes me to obsess a bit. I know this sounds like an odd question but is this obsessing "normal" for a TG? If I manage to go at it to the fullest, will my obsessing abate and other facets of life like hobbies re-surface? Is there a life after TG?

Kay

I think someone said that a man thinks about sex once every 17 minutes, Don't quote me on the time but it a lot. My point is, if you think about sex for more than 5 minutes at a time, you will think about it again in less than 12 minutes, or about 1/3 of the time. That don't leave much time for anything else.
You say that your gender issues is a sore subfect in your family. OK is it their gender that is in questian, No, it is not. If your waiting for your family's approval, you may as well return off this web site now. How much longer can you wait.
If you are married, you should come to a understanding with her. If you are not married, it is not anyones business.
Don't think that you are unique, your in good company.
:2c:

[Calliope]

I know this sounds like an odd question but is this obsessing "normal" for a TG?

Pretty well, yes.

Doesn't have to be a bad thing, mind you.

[Teresa Amina]

it is there in my mind as a running "background task" like a computer program all day

Good way to put it! It's always a running alternative perspective and clicks into awareness at funny moments. In years past, when I had no real idea what the heck it was, I'd just clamp down on it and hope it would go away. Now that I have an understanding of TG (thanks to everyone here) I actually enjoy the inner dialogue and, after a year of learning to accept myself, some of the old hobbies are reemerging. But really there is no going back, and why go back to denial? If the old interests and hobbies are gone so be it. This is all far more interesting anyway:happy:

[Siobhan Marie]

How much of your day is taken up thinking or dealing with gender issues? I know that for me it is there in my mind as a running "background task" like a computer program all day. My dreams often continue the process. It has been this way for about seven years and has gotten more and more pressing every year. I'm not able to fulfill or fully explore my gender issues as it still is a sore subject in my family. Perhaps my situation is unique in that my inability to find out where I need to be causes me to obsess a bit. I know this sounds like an odd question but is this obsessing "normal" for a TG? If I manage to go at it to the fullest, will my obsessing abate and other facets of life like hobbies re-surface? Is there a life after TG?

Kay

I live alone and for me it is with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and I would say its normal, I'm still learning to deal with it but it doesn't bother me as I know its there and I know it always will be.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[Lauren B]

How much of your day is taken up thinking or dealing with gender issues? I know that for me it is there in my mind as a running "background task" like a computer program all day. life after TG?

I love that analogy. No matter how "into" something I am, I am always aware of it on some level. Sometimes more intensely than others, but they are always there.

[Sejd]

I think about it all the time also. When at work, when driving to an appointment, when coming home from work. What am I going to wear tonight, do I feel like changing, what if my kids come by? Am I loosing my sense of protection now that I am a woman and not a man, cause I was always the one who would protect the family? How do I take part in household chores and still fulfill the man's role in business? Yeah, I am obsessing all the time myself. Good to know that I'm not alone.
huggs
Sejd

[Aprilrain]

I am beginning to find that there are certain activities that i really enjoy doing that temporarily interrupt the internal dialog, the constant questioning about TG issues otherwise its pretty constant. Some times I don't mind and I feel a sense of peace about the whole thing (usually when I'm dressed) other times it is so distracting I can not concentrate on anything and I start feeling sorry for myself. Then I am of no use to myself or anyone else. I have no answers only my experience and i am still discovering for myself what works and what doesn't. As for your inability to explore TG further because of family, I do not know what is right for you but I do know I was dying inside trying to deny my feelings, thoughts, and desires. I have less to worry about now that I am not trying to fight my TG now I'm just trying to fit it in to my life in a way that works for all. hope this helps if not at least you know your not alone. :happy:

[michelle19845]

for some the female ego takes over and they no longer can function everyday lives,which then time comes for therapy and seeking help,some will go to hormones,some won't.it pry wouldn't hurt to seek advice and see what they have to say on your saga.i tried avoiding that stuff till i couldn't stand it anymore and had to let it all out.

[Clare]

I know this sounds like an odd question but is this obsessing "normal" for a TG?Not so much anymore as i've come to terms with my own transgender issues (well mostly!). I get to fully dress reasonably often and regulary wear femme clothing in androdgenous mode too, so that abates the constant need to reflect on my TG lifestyle emotionally/rationally. Occassionly, a specific conversation or spotting an interesting GG will cause me to think of my gender desires, but usually about a particular issue and only for a short time.


Is there a life after TG?Believe me, over the past 30 years, I have considered most aspects of transgenderism! But to answer your question, think of it this way - TG is your life!

[Katrina]

I'm glad you created this thread. I've often wondered that myself since I've spent a great deal of time thinking about my gender issues. It seems to come in phases where I will spend lots of time thinking/feeling sorry for myself and other times when it doesn't bother me much. I also am somewhat glad that I'm not alone in spending this much time thinking about it.

And putting it as a "background task" is a great way to phrase exactly how it is in my head because it seems like it is always there.

[Jenn2716]

Well, I think its different for everyone. TG people are so diverse that almost every poster could possibly have a different answer.

For me, I find that if my mind is not focused on a particular task (writing a report for work, watching a movie, etc.) then my mind is whirling with my gender issue pretty well all the time. Before I could just bottle it up, even though it would make me a little down, but now I find that it is having a negative impact on my daily life. I've decided to seek help by making an appointment to see a counsellor today. I think talking to someone is the best way to get things off your mind, if you find you are constantly thinking about something. At least I hope talking to somebody will help.