Does your reality match your self image?

[Ashley in Virginia]

That has to be the biggest thing I am having trouble with understanding. As a guy, I am not concerned with self image at all. I am anti fashion, or culture, or sometimes, bathing. lol.

My female "image" is the exact opposite. In my head, I percieve myself as pretty good looking. In the mirror and in pictures, I am...eh... better looking than some, but no where near where I feel in my head I am.

So, in order to gain some understanding I have a few things I would like to toss out and get some ideas on.

Does anyone see themselves as ugly? I know this sounds goofy, and possibly down right mean, but if we all think we are hot, and since we know we all aren't I am not the only one feeling like this.

Are you ok with your "look"? Are you obsessive about looking better, or are you cool with "eh, this is me and this is as good as it gets." ?

How much better do you think you could look? Realisticly speaking of course. Would changing your makeup or working out make that much of a difference?

Am I nuts? Or overly shallow? Or something else?

[Brianna Lovely]

I always see myself as beautiful, inside, anyway. I think my female and male atributes make me a unique person, perhaps an "evolved" male.
My fem part makes me aware, that if I want that new dress, I better loose some weight. But, I'm also a realist, and know that makeup can only do so much. So like many GGs, I look in the mirror, do the best I can, with what I have, and walk out the door, into the daylight.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

I am concerned with how I look in guy mode...I'm not a fahion guru, but occaisionally I lead fashion, just because its cyclic!!!

In femme mode, hey I'm just a guy in a dress...not upchuck, put on the paperbag ugly, but let's face it I still look like a guy when I'm all "tarted up"...I just stay home!!!

[MJ]

That has to be the biggest thing I am having trouble with understanding. As a guy, I am not concerned with self image at all. I am anti fashion, or culture, or sometimes, bathing. lol.

My female "image" is the exact opposite. In my head, I percieve myself as pretty good looking. In the mirror and in pictures, I am...eh... better looking than some, but no where near where I feel in my head I am.

So, in order to gain some understanding I have a few things I would like to toss out and get some ideas on.

Does anyone see themselves as ugly? I know this sounds goofy, and possibly down right mean, but if we all think we are hot, and since we know we all aren't I am not the only one feeling like this.


Are you ok with your "look"? Are you obsessive about looking better, or are you cool with "eh, this is me and this is as good as it gets." ?

How much better do you think you could look? Realisticly speaking of course. Would changing your makeup or working out make that much of a difference?
Am I nuts? Or overly shallow? Or something else?

hi there
OK well i am OK with my look and i can look better it takes time
i could look much better once i lose another 20 pounds again it takes time

how many of us here have pictures en-femme when we were 10 or 20 pounds heaver ? and makeup does make a huge difference ..

[Calliope]

Complicated area. I think most CDs are eternally evolving to some degree and, certainly, as our bodies change we try to keep pace (even if our actions are reversals of natural aging). There's a lot to said for accepting natural limitations and knowing your look realistically. There's also a lot to be said about dieting, exercising, electrolysis and even hormones, too. As far as looking 'hot,' I wouldn't want to look 'hot' - I'm not trying to attract anyone erotically.

[Sophia Rearen]

Of course you're nuts, dear.:D I think working on a better fem image has a positive and profound affect on the male image. As just today, I was looking through some older photos of me, just as MJ was saying, I was 10-20 pounds heavier and yuck! was that ever hedious!

[Tina Dixon]

Yep you belong in the loony bin with most of us, and yes I don't think I look to bad, looking better hell yes, need to loss a ton of fat and I'll be working on that soon, as the guy part, yes I went three day this past weekend with out shaving and washing till the girl in my head said she wanted out then I had to clean up my act:silly:

[carla smith]

I might be reading this wrong, but I hope that they are the same.
I realize that I am a crossdresser. My self image is that I look like a crossdresser! Sorry if I have misread this thread!

the main thing is to....have fun out there!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Ashley...i really like your question...now be fair tho and give us a little more insight into how you feel about it...

for example--i sit hear in my sweats and yesterday's tshirt...my nails are not well kept...i forget to brush my hair...one time i got pulled aside at work(i wear a suit and tie everyday) and told that i had to improve my dress...ratty shoes, spotty tie, etc...

when i dress, i spend hours trying to match outfits to my body type and looks...i have my own system of pads and cinchers that give me what i think is a really nice femme form....i read about clothes and makeup and have tried to match my colors and i definitley fall in love with new fashions...tunic sweaters anyone? and like to dress like all the other girls.. i feel very satisfied when i go out dressed and feel like i am wearing what is in fashion at the time...and i really feel that way..its not an act...i mean to say i know that i am only acting like a woman and emulating a woman, but thats HOW I REALLY FEEL ....this is to me the most interesting question....at least for me my brain really feels to me like i am a woman....it doesnt feel like an act..its TOTALLY REAL..and it relaxes me and it makes me relaxed for some time after i dress..

sometimes i feel like it controls me and i'm working to make it the other way around...i want to control it and choose more about when i dress... i do feel like many times i just HAVE TO DRESS>..period....i dont like that feeling too much..

and finally...i honestly think my body is very femme...i have a nice face shape small hands, no adams apple.....but i'm over 6'1 and i have a huge ugly giant disgusting nose that kills my ability "feel pretty"...but hey...many women suffer from that type of insecurity, and there are a number of 6' and taller women, so i try to rise above that feeling and just enjoy the moment...

whew

dont know why, i 'm in a philosophical mood lately!!!

thats MY :2c:
peace
michele

[Kate Simmons]

I'm pretty much who I say I am. What you see is what you get (for better or worse).:happy: Ericka/Rich

[Tina Dixon]

I'm pretty much who I say I am. What you see is what you get (for better or worse).:happy: Ericka/Rich
Your saying it don't get know better than that:heehee:

[Teresa Amina]

It's amazing how close that view in the mirror is to my self concept. In guy mode I couldn't care less (well, maybe a little) how I look, old jeans and a flannel shirt are good enough 99% of the time. Purely functional. But when Teresa-fied....Ooooh! There I am, and very vain about it:o I hid so long before and now I can see Me.

[Chiana]

I think I am a better looking as a woman than I look as a man. But I don't consider myself to be beautiful looking as a woman. However, I did receive some really flattering and seemingly sincere compliments when I dressed up for halloween once. Like I have said before, those compliments were intoxicating. In spite of that praise, I have not been out in public dressed since then.

Could I look better? Absolutely. My waist is too thick. My nose is too big. My eyes are too close together. My chin is too weak. I often wonder if professional make-up application could help disguise those issues. Not the waist thing, of course, but the others. I know that a professional hair styling made a ton of difference, so the make-up probably would, also.

Hmmm. Did I stray off course there? I hope not.

[Sally24]

Are you ok with your "look"? Are you obsessive about looking better.
How much better do you think you could look? Realisticly speaking of course. Would changing your makeup or working out make that much of a difference?

Am I nuts? Or overly shallow? Or something else?

I think most of us have some degree of vanity. I've got quite a bit, but I acknowlege it and move on. I constantly work on my wardrobe, wig, make-up and some work on abs/lats. It's really a matter of degree. Just a small change can help much more than you would think. As they say "the devils in the details". My wife thinks I am slowly moving from passable/attractive to cute/pretty.

Sally


First Trip Out in June 2005 -------------- Same Jeans in Nov 2006

[Kate Simmons]

Your saying it don't get know better than that:heehee:Unfortunately yes. It could always be worse, though. Say, come to think of it, I haven't tried being one of those people who like dressing up as animals. What were they called again? Had this here way back in April when I first joined and I was still young and impressionable. Now I'm this crusty old bat who goes around looking for fights with gay guys. Sheesh! What HAVE I become anyway?:rolleyes: Ericka/Rich BTW, DAMN nice legs Tina

[Charleen]

At this stage in my life, I'm almost 56, I look my age no matter, and that ain't good lookin'! Yeah, getting dolled up as in the avatar I can look half way decent, but it's that other half! WHOA! Kids scream, horses scream, hell, everybody screams! As E/R said, you get what you see. Love and xxxx, Lily

[Scotty]

I've never liked my drab side and I consider femming up always better.

[Sierra Evon]

Well I think I am a tottal hottie.......and I dont care much for my male side anywho.......not trying to impress anyone anyway.....full time girl on the inside.........Sierra......:happy:

[Karren H]

Yeah....your nuts.....like the rest of us!! hehehe

Karren

[Kelly,R]

Well sierra if you feel that way post a pic hun,Let us all see.:love:

[Marla S]

Are you ok with your "look"?
No. Sometimes it's a bit depressing.

Are you obsessive about looking better, ...
No, but I spend too much time to improve my look (Slow, very slow process. Hard to keep track with aging :D)

... or are you cool with "eh, this is me and this is as good as it gets." ?
Kind of ... 'normative power of the actual'


Would changing your makeup or working out make that much of a difference?
Dunno how much. Not enough, but enough that it is worth doing it.

[crusadergirl]

At first i have to say i didn't look to good as a girl, but the more i dressed up i started to see myself looking better. The first time i put on a wig i thought to my self i should stop c/ding. But that never happened and now i like trying on new wigs and just finding my style of clothes. I never really had much of a style as a guy, till i started crossdressing. Mostly all my male clothes are skater clothes from pacson.
Most of my shirts have dragons on them same with my shorts both guy and girl style clothes. To me i look good either way.

[Shannon CD]

Other than my hands I am happy with my "reality" from the neck down. But my perception of my face and the reality of it when I see pictures are definately 2 different things altogether. I wish I had a face that translated to "pretty" when I am in make-up. What it comes down to is I look like a man's head on a woman's body.

[ArleneRaquel]

Enfemme, Wig, Makeup, Female Specs, Shorts and Pantyhose I see myself, in my full length mirror as one h*ll of a Sexy Old Dame, and shopping dressed I feel the same. As a male I am average, at best.:love: Forever Female Maureen

[Rachel Morley]

Does your reality match your self image? ...Are you ok with your "look"? Are you obsessive about looking better, or are you cool with "eh, this is me and this is as good as it gets." ?
Well, in a general sense, I'm totally fine with the way I look. However, to coin a phrase, "you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" (http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/you+can't+make+a+silk+purse+out+of+a+sow's+ear.htm l)...but of course there's always room for improvement, it's just a matter of trying different things out (clothes, wigs and makeup) to find out what suits you and what doesn't.

[CheriTV2006]

Not ugly as male. Always considered myseltf as mediocre in looks. As a male, I was never very dress conscious and this stuck out like a sore thumb when I was married and had to work on it with conscious effort. (my wife was always smart dresser and looked for this also in her partners since young). The only battle I've really had was that I had put on weight after my gallbladder removal in 1991 (my physique radically changed since then-I used to be slim). On top of that, has come middle age (there goes the abs). Glycemic diet helps alot, cutting out the soda made an immediate difference (saw a good dietician). At this point, I've often pondered if my crossdressing satisfies a vain reflection and feedback alternative to my physical decline of aging.Cheri.

[Kimkandy]

No.

Reality :nerd: is overrated anyway... :daydreaming: fantasy wins hands down.:c9:

Kim

:dom: :gorgeous: vs :devil:

[SatinSarah]

as a guy I love wearing really lazy drab - jogging pants and t-shirt. But yes you are right as soon as I dress I am interested in the cut and the look of an outfit. I need to look really good and very pretty. Yes in my head I feel very pretty - esp in bed! Yet unless I am fully dressed and made up to the nines I am an ugly hairy girl. Get the right outfit and look and I feel gorgeous. Oooh must dress tonight to my best and post a photo so you can judge!

[Teresa Amina]

Say, come to think of it, I haven't tried being one of those people who like dressing up as animals. What were they called again?

Otherkin. Was that April? Time flies, it seems like just the other day.