What would you do if you saw another crossdresser? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Jesse69

11-28-2006, 08:18 PM

If you saw another crossdresser in real life what would you do? For me, in the past, my reaction was mostly to observe how people around him / her reacted to them. I actually don't have any crossdresser friends and when I've seen one in person shopping I usually leave them alone. So my only crossdressing group activities are this forum. I actually feel guilty of my lifestyle and that I shouldn't further it by gay or crossdressing friends.

Maybe I should be more accepting of crossdressers in real life but then I'd rather have a girl friend who is into my crossdressing.

What do you do?

Sharon

11-28-2006, 08:57 PM

I actually feel guilty of my lifestyle and that I shouldn't further it by gay or crossdressing friends.

Maybe I should be more accepting of crossdressers in real life but then I'd rather have a girl friend who is into my crossdressing.

I really think this is the issue you should be asking advice for, Jesse. Why do you feel guilty? You're not more accepting of others because you don't accept yourself. Why don't you pursue this question? It will, hopefully, help you.

As for your intended question -- I usually just give a friendly smile to anyone I see. And when they notice me, they almost always smile back.

Kate Simmons

11-28-2006, 09:02 PM

Show them a lot of respect. After all, it takes a lot of effort to get ready. It's nice all around when you meet a "kindred spirit".:happy: Ericka/Rich

linnea

11-28-2006, 09:50 PM

I usually just give a friendly smile to anyone I see. And when they notice me, they almost always smile back.

Me too, though I have not seen very many. When I have seen other CDs, I have been dressed in drab. If I were dressed en femme at the time, I MIGHT make some effort to have a conversation, but this depends on the circumstances. I would definitely NOT want to call undue or uncomfortable attention to the other CD.

carla smith

11-28-2006, 09:56 PM

I would give her a friendly smile and maybe say "hi" if given the opportunity.

I think this is a fairly normal feeling (guilt) for a "straight crossdresser". If there is such a thing as a "normal feeling" for crossdressers.

Like you, I am not attracted to gay men. (I think they are really nice when they give me compliments!)

I too would rather have a girl friend that I could share crossdressing with for mutual benefit.

However, I think that all individuals have the right to express their desires and beliefs, whether it is homosexual,crossdressing, transgender, heterosexual, republican, democrat, religious, or whatever as long as it is legal and doesn't harm anyone. (Not sure about political parties, lol)

Where we differ is that I think that gay men, crossdressers, transexuals, or others, have just as much right as I do to have their beliefs and lifestyles. This is important to them and to me, and I respect them for their differance. Their true colors!

We all go thru this "Guilty of my lifestyle” thing because it (crossdressing) is against the normal interpretation of what is acceptable by the majority of the people...that is social order. I am lucky in that I feel that I can still choose the path I can take, whereas some cannot and are probably the happiest in that they have chosen the path that is the best for them.

I try to be more accepting of others, unlike the majority of my former life where everybody had to be measured by my standards. I am convinced that I am experiencing this lifestyle to teach me respect and tolerance for others. I strugle with it constantly, but now I am starting to have fun and learn along the way.

It is normal to struggle at this junction. It is your decision to make!

The guilt I feel is that it took me so long to figure this out...but I am slower that most.

11-28-2006, 10:03 PM

very good question. i would make contact say hi. and see how the cross dresser reacted to my greeting and see were it goes from there. after all you may have found a new friend ..

what is the difference in meeting CD,ers here and go and meet them some were safe.. or is it that you would feel embarrassed to be see with them ?. it is hard to make first contact. but could be rewarding too

Karren H

11-28-2006, 10:06 PM

Well, I would and have tried to chat with other girls like us and i'm not ashamed of what I love to do.....So if they don't want to talk i also understand that!!! Would have loved to chat with that CD I saw today but I was with a bunch of my fellow jurors and didn't want to blow my cover.....

Love Karren

AmyCarter

11-28-2006, 10:12 PM

I would be flummoxed until I remembered her name too late as she's already driving out of the parking lot as what happened two weeks ago at kroger when I saw someone who I went to legends with last winter. Wish she could have noticed me.

Scotty

11-28-2006, 10:17 PM

Smile and move on :)

Marla S

11-28-2006, 10:19 PM

Theoretically I don't act any different than seeing someone else.

Practically I have to repress staring :blushing: and, yes I observe the reactions of others too.
And I have to admit that it is kind of weird, though I am accepting myself and feel no shame or guilt anymore.

I saw three of the TG-folks during the last six months (outside the scene), but never long or close enough to for some kind of contact.

On the other side, so far it didn't happen that someone approached me, though I am out almost every day (not fully dressed, but clearly visible fem).

Calliope

11-28-2006, 10:22 PM

I have had some really positive experiences meeting, and knowing, CDs and TGs out. Some have shown me the confident spirit in which to get myself together - and I owe these gals a lot of thanks.

I've also seen quite a few who sent off unapproachable vibes - some are too terrified to return eye contact and others fear getting read.

So it depends on the current and context - like any human situation.

Maybe I should be more accepting of crossdressers in real life but then I'd rather have a girl friend who is into my crossdressing.

Well, boo hoo for us.

janet p

11-28-2006, 10:44 PM

I agree with MJ and others why would you not smile and say hi? You might make a new friend.:love:

Jesse69

11-28-2006, 10:47 PM

Well, I've actually thought about meeting someone from this forum because we are so similar in career and interest and we both live in Chicago.

carolinewalker_2000

11-29-2006, 04:18 AM

I hope that if I met another crossdresser in public - and I am assuming I am in male drab - I would have the courage and courtesy to give her a smile, say hi, and compliment her on her looks. If not rebuffed I would be happy yo tell her that we both share a love for feminine clothing.

However, given that it takes many girls a lot of effort and courage to go out dressed, I wouldn't want to frighten them with my initial approach. So I guess I will just have to wait until happens and see what my instinct tells me to do!

Sandra

11-29-2006, 04:37 AM

Smile and say hello as I do for everybody. No need to treat them any differently.

Iniquity Blonde GG

11-29-2006, 06:11 AM

:D as others have said, i would say hello, and treat him/her like anyone else :D we are all human beings :happy: no matter what race/religon/ etc etc :thumbsup:

psdibe

11-29-2006, 06:24 AM

I would have to gudge the situation. If she is comfortable with being approached I would smile and say hello and comment on the out fit and see where the conversation would go. I would hope that my approach would be no different that a conversation with any new person that I would meet.
Hugs
DEB

Cyndie

11-29-2006, 09:26 AM

I am glad that you have asked this question. I saw a another CD last year shopping in the local mall, I was in drab:( . I'm sure that she was a CD because she was overdressed for afternoon shopping at the mall. She was wearing a short, dressy dress with high heels. More of what you would expect a younger girl to wear to a cocktail party.

I smiled and said hi. It was obvious that I made her uncomfortable because she quickly turned and walked away. I wished that I could have apologized, but I think that would have made it worse. A short time later I saw her again, this time headed for the parking lot as I was leaving. I decided that the gentelmanly thing to do was stop and let her leave. I did not want to appear to be following her into the parking lot.

If the afternoon shopper happens to be reading this, I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable. I would enjoy buying you a cup of coffee at the food court and just chatting about shopping and other girl things.

TTFN
CYndie

JoAnnDallas

11-29-2006, 09:30 AM

My wife and I were in Orlando in Oct, visiting the various theam parks. We stopped at a restroom and while I was waiting for my wife, I kinda looked around and there she was. I instantly knew she was a CD or TS, because she had too much masclian features to her face, even with makeup and wig. I watched her for a few minutes and noticed that most of the park patrons were not paying any attention to her. Since it was the week before halloween, I suppected that a lot of the patrons may have though it was a Halloween custom. The parks were having Halloween parties all that week. Anyway, after a few minutes, I walk up near her and said "Hello". She looked at me and mouthed "Hello". This in itself tipped me off, that she was a CD and not some guy in a Halloween drag costume. I tried to chat with her, but I think it made her uncompy. Then my wife came out of the restroom. I told her "love your outfit and shoes, have a nice day", winked at her and joined my wife. As we walked off, I looked back and she was smiling at me. I think she figured it out. LOL

Eugenie

11-29-2006, 09:46 AM

It depends,

When "en drab" I have seen a few and tried to be as discrete as possible in order to respect their privacy.

If I would meet one by chance while beeing myself "en femme", I would want to establish a relation and speak to her. I'm pretty good at meeting people in the street, and as my wife says "In two minutes they know all about your family, your jobn your hobbies..."

Actually, thinking about it, given the opportunity I would also probably try to establish a friendly contact with a CD even when I'm in drab. I always carry a picture of me "en femme", I could show it to her, after having established a relation, in order to express solidarity. But I would have to be carefull not to hurt her feelings. She might not be happy to have been read.

:hugs:
Eugenie

Cassy11

11-29-2006, 11:42 AM

I don't know, but being a CD I know I would not do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. Knowing the courage it takes to go out enfem I would not do anything that would draw attention to her. If we were that close that speaking too loud would not be necessary I would complement her on her outfit and wish her a lovely day and leave it at that. If she chose to respond I would have a new friend, if not I would simply walk away.

KarenSusan

11-29-2006, 02:10 PM

It seems difficult to know what to do exactly. Unless the CDer is a very outgoing person and confident in her appearance, she probably doesn't want to be acknowledged other than perhaps with a passing smile. Anyway, that is what I would do.

ArleneRaquel

11-29-2006, 03:08 PM

If I was enfemme I would just smile and walk on. I would expect that the other CD'er would want to be left alone, and I am sure that they would be able to " read me " . If the other CD' er stopped to talk I would be very happy to chat with a new friend. :love: Maureen

Lisa Golightly

11-29-2006, 03:11 PM

I do the secret handshake... I thought we all did that... hmmmm just me then :rolleyes:

Daizy Chains

11-29-2006, 03:48 PM

I tend to notice people alot some time i feel i'm on the out side looking in.
i just love people watching and yhats all i would do.:worship:

JeanneF

11-29-2006, 04:42 PM

Depends on the location.

For example, over the weekend I was out drinking in Boystown in Chicago with a group of GG friends (I was in boy mode). We were at a bar, and there was this totally stunning TS girl there. One of my GG friends went over to talk to her, and brought her over to our table. I just acted totally natural, made conversation, then when my GG friends were out of earshot, I casually mentioned that I'm trans too, but out in boy mode. She responded that she suspected, because of my eyebrows. :) She hung out with us for a while until one of her friends texted her to meet them at a different bar. But it was totally casual, no big deal. No different than chatting with anyone else at a bar.

OTOH, I've seen other T-girls while out shopping, and I don't really react to them. I don't think I'd go up an make conversation, any different than I'd make conversation with any random people out. Just kind of let them do there own thing.

Incidentally, the experince in Boystown brought up an interesting thought to me. I was readily able to tell (within a reasonable doubt) on which girls at the bars were GG and which were TG, while the GGs that I was there with were not. More than once, I pegged a girl as TG, and the other girls were claiming that she wasn't. I wonder if we have a kind of "Transdar" that makes it easier for us to spot other TGs? Kind of like Gaydar?

Sierra Evon

11-29-2006, 04:49 PM

when I'm out and about , I show all people due respect ......., but Ive actually only meet 2-3 other CDers , TG's, soo what would I do ?, nothing I would'nt normally due when meeting another person in life....:happy:

SatinSarah

11-29-2006, 05:28 PM

its a good question. It would depend on so many things & circumsances. I would like to think I would say Hi in a knwoing way that would make them feel comfortable, but it seems that depends on what reaction the CD expects when going out. I would turn it round and wonder if I would want to be read and approached. I think I would like another CD to say hi and give me some encouragement!

hotbobbie

11-29-2006, 06:13 PM

smile, if she responded to that then we could start talking.

Sexy_Jennifer

11-29-2006, 08:35 PM

I think I'd definitely try to befriend any cross-dressing people I came into contact with. I'm a solitary CDer who would find it infinitely easier to go out dressed en femme if I had a group of girls to step out with.

bianncats

11-29-2006, 08:37 PM

I would hope that we could stop and speak to each other and develop some sort of support relationship and a friendship.

b

ReginaK

11-29-2006, 09:03 PM

I treat them like everyone else. They're just a person.

Caroline Simmons

11-29-2006, 09:25 PM

Just smile

Caz
:love:

trannie T

11-29-2006, 10:18 PM

I would try to be polite and friendly and pay a compliment, in a loud voice I'd say "Nice dress, dude!"

Patricia Danielle

11-30-2006, 02:31 AM

I would say how nice they looked and see what happens if they don't spazz out I'd chat with them. Being a Pedal Steel Guitar player people think I'm weird anyway to witch all I say to them is try to wrap your head around one some time it's mind boggleing to say the least so many chords so little music.. Patricia..:tongueout

EricaCD

11-30-2006, 02:38 AM

Well of course I shriek out loud, start giggling uncontrollably and see if there are any teenage girls nearby to whom I can point out the crossdresser!

Seriously...

I see CDs and TSs regularly in New York. I pay them no heed whatever, which is how I treat anyone whom I don't know personally and who is not trying to mug me....

Erica

Joy Carter

11-30-2006, 02:41 AM

I'd not get near for fear it might rub off. :rolleyes:

noname

11-30-2006, 02:51 AM

I saw a cd in the mall once. I didn't say a word. He wasn't fooling anyone though. Didn't say anything, just let him be.

suzanne

11-30-2006, 03:49 AM

I saw a CD once in public, a couple of summers ago. He was with his wife and two pre-teen sons. He wore a tasteful, nicely fitting white sun dress with a floral print, no wig, no makeup and no effort to otherwise look like a woman. Without the dress, he could have passed for a cop. His wife and sons were in jeans and seemed completely unconcerned with dad's manner of dressing.

I was with my wife in a humongous lineup and the four of them approached us within ten feet, surveyed the lineup, thought better of the situation, and left in less than a minute. During that time, I envied him his SO and his seamstress, but could not bring myself to acknowledge or even make eye contact with him, for fear of giving away too much info about myself. I regret to this day that I did not offer him even a nod. I hope I never repeat that again.

Wendy me

11-30-2006, 06:51 AM

well i have a few times ran into some of our sisters... this is abought one time ..... http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4202...........

BarbaraLoveToDress

11-30-2006, 12:05 PM

I would definitely try to make contact, and let her know I'm with her.

Natty_W

12-01-2006, 08:39 PM

I work in a store and it's been my pleasure to serve a great many Tgirls. I treat them the same as everyone else, but I pay a lot more attention to the reactions of the people around them. So far I've not seen any negatives, although one of my colleauges did say "I'm sure that's a guy" after serving one girl recently.

The one thing I always mean to do is tell them how much I admire their bravery at going public and showing the world who they are... but I'm too shy.

Debb

12-02-2006, 03:29 AM

I kind of had this happen to me a few years back.

I was in the local library, and was *sure* that I hadn't been "read" (pun not intended).

She waited for the right moment, and then approached me in one of the aisles. She was a real she (GG), not a crossdresser -- possibly FtM transgender, possibly lesbian, I don't know .. all I know is that she whispered that I really looked nice, and a sentiment like "we're all in this together".

After I got over the shock of being "read", I was so grateful to her. Having this unknown lady express her support (I don't care if she assumed I was gay) was such a nice boost for my day!

Optimally, this is the kind of thing I would like to do if I ever saw a CD.

Cami_wi

12-02-2006, 03:50 AM

I generally talk with them.I have been living Full Time for 6 years now . I also Facilitate a TG/TS Support group. I know allot of girls in and out of town. Hopefully just keep making more and more friends. One Day we WILL BE a large Community streching the world over. All we want is to be treated with respect like the rest of Society Does.
Once when leaving a Mall, I noticed a guy running inside. I proceeded to the Van, then to pick my friend up at the Door. The guy caught up with her. Started a concersation and asked IF I was her Daughter. Char said no she is just my friend. He wanted to know if I was Available ~flattered~ but not available ::)

ArleneRaquel

12-02-2006, 03:58 AM

If I saw another CD'er I would run over to her and plant a wet "French Kiss " on her. Really if we made eye contact I would smile and move on. I do respect other people's privacy. I know that is the way that I would like to be treated. If we already knew one another ( In CD Mode ) I would likely stop and talk, and perhaps go for coffee. :love: Maureen

Rita Knight

12-02-2006, 09:37 AM

It is a rare occurrence for me to see another CD in public when I did not expect it. I probably would go up to her, smile and say, "Hello Sister."

Diana West

12-02-2006, 10:01 AM

To be honest, I wouldn't recognize a CD unless he came up and introduced himself.
I was in a bar once and saw this sexy babe bartender. She was so stunning I never forgot her. It was years (yes, years) later I learned she was a he.
So I wouldn't react any differently to a CD than I would seeing anyone else in the street.

Chiana

12-02-2006, 10:47 AM

I was in line at a local grocery store one evening in drab. There was a very slender young man about 20 y.o. right in front of me in the line. The store was very crowded with long lines all around. He was purchasing about 15 or 20 different make up items. Many were things that offer multiple colors. Like eye shadow compacts with 4 or 5 different colors. And blushes with 3 colors. It seemed like he was sampling the color pallet. I felt the urge to say "Hi" or something but he was not looking around and we never made eye contact. The interesting part was that no one seemed to even give him a second glance. Just business as normal. He paid for his order and left. I had a small order and I quickly paid for it and went outside to see if I could see him but he was gone. I don't know what I would have said to him, anyway. Just something encouraging, I guess.

MsJanessa

12-02-2006, 11:21 AM

If she was pretty I would give her a sensual kiss.

Angela E.

12-02-2006, 12:25 PM

Then if she smiled back I`d say hi and maybe start a conversation.You can never have too many friends.-Angela:hugs:

Rachel Morley

12-02-2006, 01:07 PM

I have only ever seen one crossdresser when I've been out and about en drab in my daily life. It was in the mall and she looked very nervous. I kind of wanted to go over and say hello but of course by doing this she would know that I read her and so I would probably have made things worse for her, so I did nothing.

What I think I would do if I saw someone is just smile and say hi. As for going out and meeting other cders socially, I do it all the time when I'm en femme. I've never met up with another cder in guy mode (yet).

Jenfrso

12-03-2006, 02:27 AM

I have seen a few crossdressers in public in vacouner, BC. And I remember being in awe of them. To have the courage and confidence in themselve to go in public and also the attitude of, I don't care what other people think. I don't have the confidence to pass to be able to do what they did, my not too feminine face would be a give away.

Jen

Kenix

12-03-2006, 07:22 AM

If I see another CD I will probably leave her alone. Perhaps she doesn't want do draw any attention to herself.

Kandi

12-03-2006, 09:25 AM

I only have seen a couple of young cd'ers in a mall from a distance one time. I've probably seen more and didn't know it. This weekend all that will change when My wife and I meet davida and his wife in atlanta. It will be our first tri ess function. Look forward to meeting all the gurls and their so's.

Aprilnylons

12-07-2006, 02:05 PM

If she was pretty I would give her a sensual kiss.

Other "girls" really turn me on and I love kissing them.

Shannon CD

12-07-2006, 02:24 PM

While working at a local amusement park when I was younger, my boss pointed out a lady standing in line and said that she could not ride because she was pregnant. I then walked over to this lady and asked, "excuse me, ma'am, are you pregnant?"

She said,"no, I'm just fat"

Well, I'll tell you that I felt about 2" tall. I wish I was, I could have hidden anywhere.

My point is that I would hate to do this again by going up to a "masculine" woman who I am convinced must be a CD because "if anyone should know, I should". It would be embarrasing for a CD who does not want to be read, but how badly would a GG feel if she had been mis-identified?

Christine cd

12-07-2006, 05:54 PM

I have met other cd's while I was in guy mode. If I would meet another cd in girl mode it would be like finding a long lost sister. However if she would not like being read, i.e masculine looking, I would just smile and nod to her. I wouldn't like to be embarrised in public anymore than she would.
Christine cd

marie354

12-07-2006, 06:02 PM

Smile and say hello as I do for everybody. No need to treat them any differently.

Yes! Why should any one of be treated any differently, no matter how you or whomever is dressed. It's what's on the inside that really counts. So say hi. maybe become friends.

tekla west

12-07-2006, 06:06 PM

I'm down with saying "Hi" Odd, how we of all people would shun someone based on your perceptions and by placing them in a seperate catagory of human being.

Samantha B L

12-07-2006, 07:13 PM

I see other cd'rs in public places once in awhile and I don't say "hi" or try to engage them in conversation because I think to myself that they maybe don't want to be "found out".But if an opportunity comes up to actually socialize for some reason or be introduced I'll gladly initiate a conversation all about Samantha even if I am in drab.In short,I'd rather be freinds than strangers with others like me.

jjjjohanne

12-08-2006, 07:01 AM

When I was a teenager, I worked in a Grocery store. There were two CD's that would shop together. One was an old portly fellow who didn't try to hard. He would wear one of those pink dresses from the 80's. I don't think he did anything for makeup or hair. So it looked like your dad in a dress. The other CD wore a short skirt, shiny hose, short heels, a blouse and a wig. He was semi passable. I never treated them any different because I was scared to. It's like telling a stranger that their skirt is in their underwear, or that they have tissue on their shoe. You want to acknowledge it, but we are not normally that forward. (I couldn't think of a better comparison, please don't get hung up on that!! :-)

When I was in college, I saw a CD at a Barnes and Nobles book store. I walked to the same aisle that he was on, and he got nervous and headed to the restrooms. I was going to try to say hi.

Joe

veronicagirl

12-08-2006, 10:51 AM

On halloween night, 2 years ago, a cd'er came into a bar dressed as the "naughty nurse". She sat over at a corner booth and had a light beer. I, in boy stuff, went over and remarked about the courage to do that, and she looked nice. I realized that she was more into it than just halloween because of those 5" high white patent platform boots. You don't go and buy those just for halloween. Well, it finally came out between us that we do dress. She's single, and so am I. We've become good friends....NOT sexual friends! We go to each other's homes, dress have coffee, make meals, watch chick flicks with wine, and enjoy life. We've gone out for rides where 1 is the boy and the other is "not". I'd say if you see another cder, tell her she looks nice. You might find a new friend.

connie71

12-14-2006, 11:23 PM

Beautifully said Veronica. I would definitley tell her that she looks lovely.

TxKimberly

12-15-2006, 12:15 AM