just told my wife about me! Now what?

[Debbie0228]

We are having a lot of talks about my CDing. She thinks there is a dark side that takes over when I feel the desire to dress. Give me feed back, please

[Sharon]

Is there a dark side?

[MJ]

We are having a lot of talks about my CDing.
She thinks there is a dark side that takes over when I feel the desire to dress. Give me feed back, please

well you need to tell us more about this dark side, is there one and what does she see ?. or how does she see it ?

[TeriAnn]

When I told my wife I figured I had better back off an let her process what I had told her. I a few days I went back to her to see how she felt, lo and behold she told me that she was fine with my crossdressing. She is now a member of the GG forum and is really enjoying the conversations she has from both sides of the issue. She has given me her full support and helps me when and where it is needed. I f I need help with makeup she is there (I am almost blind in one eye).
I f I need help with a clasp or hook or even a zipper she is there to help. She has been wonderful over this last year I told her in the summer of 2005, we have been married 8 years. I love my wife and think she is one very special lady. I love you BlueBird:hugs: :love:

I don't believe ther is a dark side only lots of fun and frollick:thumbsup:

[Debbie0228]

I don't see I dark side . The is like a relief, a sense of comfort that I feel when I dress . I am not sure how to explain it

[Di]

I'd say explain it the best you can to her....just what you said to us....quote.".I don't see I dark side . is like a relief, a sense of comfort that I feel when I dress ." end quote

You can have her come here as well...to read ....learn.....understand.....but talk to her...explain your feelings ect

[Tina Dixon]

It seems to be diffrent for every one when there loved one finds out, talking is best thing to do, now if I would have followed my own advice.

[Joy Carter]

"Dark Side ?" Hmm maybe like Darth Vader ? We went from her not talking to me to crying all the time to now it's the roll of the eye's thing. I've been acknowledged but not accepted. She has put me on a clothes budget and she's financing my trip to "Be-All" in Chicago this coming May. I just wished I would have know about others and had the courage to admit to myself who I am, I'd been much happier in my life.

[SatinSarah]

I guess there is no dark side, but to her if this is new it all feels VERY strange. I am no expert but just talk and explain as much as you can about how it makes you feel. You sound lik me, as soon as you slip into your feminine clothes you relax and mellow. It might be worth explaining the positives - you will be far more sensitive than most men in and out fo the bedroom. I know my wife appreciates my help when we go shopping and my sensitive approach! She now understands why I am interested in her clothes shopping and appreciates my advice but does dispair that I take no interest in male clothes. Stick with it and take it slowly but surely. Explain everyhting you feel she can take each time.
Love

[Kate Simmons]

There can be a "dark side" if you let it dominate you. In fact, dare I say it's not unlike the "force"? The power of feelings and emotions is very strong and undenyable. The "light side" is when you are tranquil and at peace with yourself. It only becomes "dark" when you let it overwhealm you and it controls your every thought and action, no matter who it affects in a totally selfish way.We know we are "real"when we are rational. It becomes self deception when we become irrational and totally self centered. It is what you make of it my friends and can be a "gift" or a "curse". If we deny this, we are kidding ourselves.:happy: Kay Richards

[mandydawson]

hi i also told mine the other day and she does not want to talk about it what can i do but i need it so much in my life,it is my sunshine it is not my dark side hugs and kisses mandy

[Daizy Chains]

I feel it's a light side when your out
remember closets are dark places when the doors are shut.
Daizy

[mylitta]

I don't see I dark side . The is like a relief, a sense of comfort that I feel when I dress . I am not sure how to explain it
Trying to learn how to use this forum

Knowledge is the key to understanding. I am in a similar position to your wife- remember this is all new to us. Talk, explain, encourage her to find out for herself. This site has been so helpful to me- and Dixie's site is fantastic for clear, non- threatening information.

Keep talking- and good luck:koc:

[Rita Knight]

Hi Debbie,
You have now come out to your wife and I presume she does not want to file for divorce. If she is the least bit accepting, you have to work out limits for both of you. I presume you live in the USA? If so, are you near a Tri-Ess chapter? Wives of CDs do attend meetings and they can share their situations. More information about Tri-Ess can be found at: http://www.tri-ess.org/

[Sheila]

Debbie,
can you explain a bit more of what you/your wife means by the dark side?

Is it that there is a change in you when you feel the need to dress or is it that your wife is not entirely happy about your dressing and has fears ?

Jess

[suzy]

Debbie,

I don't know what you are referring to when you mention "dark side." If you can explain what your wife means, maybe we can offer some opinions about it.

I don't see a dark side.....it is plain as day to me.:hugs:

[Ariel_TV]

Credit card leads to Shopping, Shopping leads to girl clothing, and girl clothing leads to the Dark Side.

So tell her it not your fault , it that damn credit card that leading you to the dark side!

[Sophia Rearen]

We are having a lot of talks about my CDing. She thinks there is a dark side that takes over when I feel the desire to dress. Give me feed back, please

Really? I often find the light side. The better side of me comes out when I'm enfemme. Could it be that she somehow prohibits your desires to dress and therefor, you become upset at the loss of not being able to express yourself? Thus showing the darker side.

[Diana West]

If she thinks there is a dark side, then you should en"light"en her.

[kittypw GG]

There can be a "dark side" if you let it dominate you. In fact, dare I say it's not unlike the "force"? The power of feelings and emotions is very strong and undenyable. The "light side" is when you are tranquil and at peace with yourself. It only becomes "dark" when you let it overwhealm you and it controls your every thought and action, no matter who it affects in a totally selfish way.We know we are "real"when we are rational. It becomes self deception when we become irrational and totally self centered. It is what you make of it my friends and can be a "gift" or a "curse". If we deny this, we are kidding ourselves.:happy: Kay Richards

:iagree:
The dark side could be the unspoken pressure to accept or participate when your SO is not in the mood to even think about it. It is something important to you not her. She doesn't even understad it nor do a lot of cd's for that matter. Just be patient and keep communicating. Let her know that you are willing to go at her pace and achieve a comfort level that is good for both of you. Good luck Kitty