Passing or not

[Debb]

I have a few CD friends here in town, and like to go have coffee with them once in a while.

I am pretty certain that I do not pass for a woman unless nobody is paying any attention.

It occurred to me the other day, and I have yet to ask my friends .. since I don't pass, and the others do (remarkably well), I am "marking" the three of us. I don't know whether that bothers either of them.

There is another CD here in town whom I wouldn't mind meeting sometime, but I get the distinct feeling that once she saw me, she wouldn't want to go anywhere due to the fact that I don't pass.

Don't get me wrong, I go out when I please .. I don't let it bother me (too much) when others stare. I just feel .. bad that I may be causing distress to my friends.

So the question:

For those of you who go out dressed, either alone or in groups: if you had a chance to meet with another CDer in your area, in a public place, would you go regardless of the other person's "passing" status? And why/why not?

[Patricia Danielle]

On the rare outings I don't let it bother me what other people think. My dead give away is the fact that I have the grace of a MACK truck. I do find it very amusing to watch other people. It's true there is no cure for Stupid and it never ceaceses to amaze at times. Don't know any CD's but I would like to. I was raised that the human mind is like a parachute it only works when it's open.Patricia..

[ArleneRaquel]

At this stage of my life I do not care what other people think. But, I do think that I am having better time of it passing. I have improved my wardrobe and makeup, and with my Wig and Glasses I do think that I am at least fairly passable. :love: Maureen

[Kate Simmons]

Don't be silly, Bethany. I'd be more than happy to be seen together with you and proud to be your friend. I have a lot of respect for anyone who has the gumption to be themself. I "pass" pretty well myself but even if I didn't I know my friends would be okay with it. After all, the person is who we care about. That's the mark of true friendship, no? We are in this together, "sink" or "swim":happy: Ericka Kay

[Kieron Andrew]

all of my offline friends are MTFs, some pass, some dont! doesnt mean i am anymore ashamed to be with the ones that dont pass, because i accept them for who they are as my good friends, friendships shouldnt be based on a passing scale, if they are friends they will accept you out with them no matter if you pass or not, and i bet you pass more than you think you do anyway, we are all our own worse critics when it comes to that!!

oh and if you are worried about joe public.....dont be, they will be going about their day too much to notice you or your friends

[ArleneRaquel]

I didn't answer all of your question. I would love to be out and about with you and any other CD'er. What other people think is their problem. :love: Maureen

[Kate Simmons]

You've got that right Brother. I used to nit pick myself to death. Seems like a waste of energy. Best to save that energy spending being happy and sharing with our friends. I figured if I try to fulfill everyone's "standards", I never will because you're never gonna please everyone, so why try? Friends and friendship are more important in my opinion like you say. That's one thing that's well worth the effort.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Kieron Andrew]

You've got that right Brother. I used to nit pick myself to death. Seems like a waste of energy. Best to save that energy spending being happy and sharing with our friends. I figured if I try to fulfill everyone's "standards", I never will because you're never gonna please everyone, so why try? Friends and friendship are more important in my opinion like you say. That's one thing that's well worth the effort.:happy: Ericka Kay
i knew i wasnt talking shit lol

[Kate Simmons]

i knew i wasnt talking shit lolYou never do, dear Brother. I count on you to keep us all thinking. We are a bunch of "clunky" girls, after all as "The Beav" would say!:heehee: Ericka Kay

[Penny]

Yes and No! First of all, it is not my intent to pass even though I most often am mistaken for a woman. If your not trying to pass, you can't fail. My intent is mearly to look my best and compliment women in general. I could care less if another CD looks like a man in a dress as long as the effort is there to compliment the clothes he is wearing.
I would have difficulty being with another CD who didn't make an effort to compliment the clothes. Examples: Skirt or dress without shaving his legs, short sleves with hairy arms, hairy nose, hairy ears, hairy hands. low cut top with hairy chest and neck, dirty fingernails, gawdy jewery and inappropriate
clothing or pounds of makeup ect. I have seen a few pictures in the galery that substantiate these esamples and no, I would not want to be with them.
Now I realize not all can shave everywhere they might wish but it is possible to hide what you can't change. I hide my adams apple.
To me, it's not whether you pass or fail, it's how you play the part!

:hugs:

Penny

[sweeting]

hi bethany i am not passable but i would love to have some c/d friends to go out with

[MsJanessa]

Passing is really a state of mind---if you have confidence and don't really care what others think---then you are much more likly to "pass" I would approach the other T-Girl in your town----she is probably dying to go out with someone

[Karren H]

I'd go out for a soda or lunch with anyone enfemme....whether I was passing or they were passing, but I usually travel solo.....always done it that way and I enjoy my own enfemme company!! hehehe

Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

I'd go out for a soda or lunch with anyone enfemme....whether I was passing or they were passing, but I usually travel solo.....always done it that way and I enjoy my own enfemme company!! hehehe

Love KarrenYeah, I've done that with some of my friends. Sometimes they were en femme and I wasn't and vice versa. Kinda neat really. Sometimes we both go in guy mode. The redeeming factor of that is the stuff we talk about. Sometimes nearby customers give a "funny look" though when two guys are discussing fashion.:heehee: Ericka Kay

[Jodi]

I have a few CD friends here in town, and like to go have coffee with them once in a while.

I am pretty certain that I do not pass for a woman unless nobody is paying any attention.

It occurred to me the other day, and I have yet to ask my friends .. since I don't pass, and the others do (remarkably well), I am "marking" the three of us. I don't know whether that bothers either of them.

There is another CD here in town whom I wouldn't mind meeting sometime, but I get the distinct feeling that once she saw me, she wouldn't want to go anywhere due to the fact that I don't pass.

Don't get me wrong, I go out when I please .. I don't let it bother me (too much) when others stare. I just feel .. bad that I may be causing distress to my friends.

So the question:

For those of you who go out dressed, either alone or in groups: if you had a chance to meet with another CDer in your area, in a public place, would you go regardless of the other person's "passing" status? And why/why not?

Bethany, Keep in mind--When you look in the mirror, noone else sees what you see. Passability/presentability is in the mind of the beholder. Also, passability/presentability is a factor of self confidence to go along with the look.

Also, keep in mind, the possibility of being read in public is directly proportional to the number of cd's in the group. If you get with a group of three or more in public, the possibility all being read is about 99% regardless of how great everyone looks.

Jodi

[Katrina]

Also, keep in mind, the possibility of being read in public is directly proportional to the number of cd's in the group. If you get with a group of three or more in public, the possibility all being read is about 99% regardless of how great everyone looks.

That is so true. When I went out with a local CDing group, several of the girls were quite passable, but since there were a bunch of us, we definately got read. We had fun with it though...I had a good view of the people passing by our table (we had gone out for some food and drinks after a meeting), so I kept a count of the number of gawkers. We took bets on how many we would get. I think I had 8+ and we had well over 10 by the time we left. That was fun.

[Deidra Cowen]

Jodi is right!!! No matter how pretty and passable...once you get past one or two Tgirls in a crowd the gig is up! Everyone knows your little crew is made up of trannies. LOL

Just be happy and proud, do your best to be attractive and friendly...and you will be shocked at how many people get a kick out of us and will be nice to ya!

[MJ]

bethany
i will go out with you or anybody who would like to ..even if they don't pass who cares just as long we have fun and enjoy our selfs.. in fact i always offer to take people out.. even if it is there first time.. you got to start sometime right
and what better way to meet new friends and enjoy coffee / lunch. good times.. hugs
as for me well i like to keep people guessing that way they are leaveing someone else alone

[Debb]

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies.

I just wanted to be clear, I feel the same way that you all seem to .. being clocked is no big deal, and I really don't care if I am read. I will make the effort to look decent, and I will enjoy looking in the mirror and admiring what I see there, while realizing that I am not necessarily seeing the whole truth (rose-colored glasses and all that).

[Kate Simmons]

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies.

I just wanted to be clear, I feel the same way that you all seem to .. being clocked is no big deal, and I really don't care if I am read. I will make the effort to look decent, and I will enjoy looking in the mirror and admiring what I see there, while realizing that I am not necessarily seeing the whole truth (rose-colored glasses and all that).But they are such a NICE shade of rose, no? Ericka Kay

[Brianna Lovely]

For those of you who go out dressed, either alone or in groups: if you had a chance to meet with another CDer in your area, in a public place, would you go regardless of the other person's "passing" status? And why/why not?

Yes, I would be happy to meet CDer in public.

Why?
Because I care. I care about the person I'm meeting, their spirit, mind and feelings. I know that there are some beautiful gurls out there, with the perfect body/figure, smile, style and presentation, and I admire them.

But I'm also aware of the "inner beauty" of people, and if they've accepted themselves, I would never look down on them, but would accept and love them for who they are.

[Calliope]

I believe any CD who would reject a 'less passable' CD's company going out would be flirting with evil.

Now, if that CD wanted to extoll the 'virtues' of, er, Ayn Rand all day, then, plonk, hot potato.

:bonk:

[JoAnnDallas]

I don't know if I pass or not, but when I go out, I try to dress so as to blend in and for my age group. When I went to HEF2006, I did dress up somewhat than I would going to Walmart and even then no one took much notice to us. I even couple of times was mistaken for a female while dress in drab, which is really streaching things. LOL Even my wife was suprised one time.

[Ranee Daze]

Anyone who thinks they don't ever get read is living in a dream world. As I've said before, since I only dress to go out I and I do so only every couple of months I take the time to work very hard on my presentation and to plan my excursion. I am certain that I always get read as a man in a dress and that is fine as long as no one can say "which" man it is in that dress. That may mean one of two things: One, that I am in an environment where no one would know my real (male) identity and two: going hand in hand with #1, that I have improved my physical look and deportment from the last excursion.
I wonder if going out as a duo or trio might make you more of an object for a swarming or something....this can be a dangerous business.
Doing this right can make you blissfully happy. Doing this wrong can make you sad and sore.

[Joyciecd]

I have gone out alone, with other girls, and with my boyfriend to many different places at at all times of the year Given that we all try to present the absolute best appearance at all times in public, I concur that it is the confidence and state of mind that one brings into those venues that is second in importance only to TRYING to look one's best. There have been a few occasions, however, when I detoured from the intended destination, such as having to use a rest room enroute, and being dressed for the destination, i.e, really short skirt and fishnets, that I felt unusual attention being given to my appearance, the observers not being sure what I was up to dressed like that. Still, being confident carried the day, as far as I was concerned. Some of my girlfriends and I may not look like models, but they are my FRIENDS, and in my opinion, one does not select friends and confidants based on their good looks. After all, without being cruel, I have observes many GG's over the years whose appearance would stop a clock! Self beauty is a state of mind after one has done the very best to present the best face forward