Ever feel guilty?

[pocoyo]

Sorry to put a downer on what has been such a happy fun site over the last couple of days but I was just wondering if I could share this with you/ask how you feel? Let's just think of it as pausing for breath before the party continues! :happy:

Probably a stupid and obvious question but, do you ever feel guilty?

I just caught sight of some sweet up-to-the knee patterened socks (rock chick type) that my mum bought for me as a present a while ago to wear with my cool Lara Croft type boots. I suddenly had this little wrench of my heart like "Oh it would be so nice to make her happy and just be that nice girl she'd love to have." (Obviously not a girly girl, but a girl nonetheless).

As a boy I would sometimes like to wear girl's clothing anyway, but it's hardly the same thing.

Oh dear. I feel so mean all of a sudden. :hmmm:

[ubokvt]

We parents all wish our children would live thier lives the way we KNOW is best, we know thats not the way the world works but we can hope. However they chose to live if they are happy and safe thats enough. If you're happy they be happy.

[pocoyo]

:) Yeah. Mum said she just wants me to be happy and though she'd prefer to have her daughter, she'd just love me whatever. But still. I'd love to make her all smiley and happy. Meh. You know what I mean. Thanks!

[Kate Simmons]

:) Yeah. Mum said she just wants me to be happy and though she'd prefer to have her daughter, she'd just love me whatever. But still. I'd love to make her all smiley and happy. Meh. You know what I mean. Thanks!Well, I know you love your Mom but don't lose yourself in the process. You're the person we know and love and you can take that to the bank, Poc.:happy: Ericka

[CaptLex]

Probably a stupid and obvious question but, do you ever feel guilty?
Nah, not a stupid question. In fact, I really had to think about that one. I've been asked if I've felt embarrased or ashamed about being trans, but never if I've felt guilt - and I never thought about it before either.

I think the closest I've felt to guilt is when I considered whether my son would feel cheated by my transitioning - whether he would feel that he was losing his mother. He assured me that I've never been the typical mother anyway, and he added that that was not a bad thing, so that made me feel better. I also gave a brief thought about whether my friends (especially those that have known me for decades) would feel that I "fooled" them into thinking they've been friends with a female - not to mention whether any of the men I've been with would feel cheated to learn the truth (not that I ever see them). Other than that . . . no, I can't say I feel any guilt about it.

The way I see it, if anyone was fooled . . . it was me. :p

[bi_weird]

Mmm yeah I can sympathize with the guilt thing. I feel so ungrateful every Christmas and birthday as I look with distaste on the very feminine clothing I recieved from Mom and Grandma. I know that it would make my mom so happy if I could just act more girly, especially considering I'm the only girl among four kids. I do try to act as girly as I can around her, so we can bond and all.
Luckily I don't have to face that sort of guilt about my friends. I'm a college student, so I've only know them a few years at most, and I'm leaving soon for grad school and won't know most of them in a year. I'd feel guilty about my boyfriend...but we talked about it...and he's confused but officially knows I have gender issues. Prolly should bring that up again so that perhaps he'll start understanding...

[Xaff]

My mom used to want me to dress more girly. She never said. But she gave me that tipes of clothing. I remember when I was junger I used to think about: 'why don't I have clothes that I like, and my mother likes'. But now I am a little bit older, things have changed. My mother accepts my clothing style. And let's me choose my clothes.

But I never feld quilty about being who I am.

[Poltergeist]

My mother certainly did try to make me feel guilty about it when I was a teenager, but I don't think it was ever really guilt I felt... it was more like insecurity, it made me wonder if I was really that ridiculous and awful in the eyes of everyone else too. And I can't ever please my mother anyway, she will always find something wrong about me to complain about... that's a different story, but I just don't feel pressured to try to please her anymore.

[Evert]

I know what you mean, I feel guilty sometimes. Two years ago my mom bought me really girly boots. I didn't had the guts to tell her I hated them. She tried to convince me they are "so cute" for about a year.
Year ago I told her I felt more like a boy. Mom never bought me girly boots ever since...

[Adam]

well to be honest YES i do infact big time i feel guilty because i no dad wants me to be his little girl forever i sometimes think that i should not trnasition for his sake but then i think well i need to do whats best for me or else i would break his hart even more because i no i cannot live as female

[michelleliz]

After a while the gilt fades away. Some times you will get it back but not as often as when the crossdressing first started. I am Michelle allmost all of the time now. No gilt Just want to me the women I feal like I am

Michelle

[pocoyo]

Thanks for cool answers guys and gals.
Very wise and sensible!! :hugs: