Now that I'm a boy . . .

[CaptLex]

Now that everyone at work knows about my transitioning, I find that most people treat me the same, but some people are treating me differently. I know that doesn't sound surprising - I expected some people would have a problem with it and others would just go about their business and treat me the same way. I'm not referring to those. I'm talking about people who don't seem to have a problem with it but are treating me differently.

Specifically, I find that a lot of the guys are a lot friendlier to me - including one that that never said a word to me and now acts like we're best friends. The thing I never expected is how many women flirt with me now. I've been hit on by both men and women all my life, so I know when a woman is flirting (and they flirt differently than men). It's kind of flattering, to tell the truth, but I can't encourage it. Just had these thoughts rolling around in my head - anyone experience stuff like that? This question is open to all.

[pocoyo]

Teeheehee!!
Lex that's awesome, it sounds like the responses to your transitioning have mainly been positive! I am so happy for you! :hugs: :hugs:

Not to mention fun! Yay for the friendlyness and the flirting, we need more of that kind of loveliness in the world eh?! :D

Hehe, can I relate? Hmm. Well yes I can in a few ways.
I've recently been finding it hard to keep my TGness inside, I often go through stages of this but this time is different in that I've been verbalising it properly rather than just presenting it. I have been explaining it properly to people at work rather than just joking about it and hinting (work mates and customers). It feels kinda scary but kinda good.

A girl I work with was teasing me and saying I'm a freak, but the thing was she was doing it in a fond way, like it was totally acceptable. She said "actually, it would be really cool if you had a sex change!" She even told her boyfriend about it when he came in and he was nice too, just treated me normally. Now every time I see her she asks me excited questions about it.
2 of my other workmates (and friends), both male, seem really accepting about it too. They joke about it and tell me that I'm weird... but good weird. Other workmates just treat me like, me. (As they all do really). Most of my friends are male and I get on well with them and they me. Sometimes though I don't like the fact that sometimes the reason they like me is because they find me attractive... as a female :straightface: The thought of someone desiring me as a female is so gross (but that's a whole other thread lol!)

When I met one of them to go to the cinema the other day he said "You look more like [insert pretty, geeky, fairly famous boy's name here] every time I see you!" haha, it was most funny. And it was nice because it was accepting. He wasn't expecting to go to the cinema with a GIRL, you know?

There are more things like that to tell you but I don't want to go on and on and fill this whole thread up with boring pocoyo stories hahaha!

As far as girls flirting... there was one particular girl (shorter than me YES!!) who would flirt with me all the time. The boy in me lo-oved it. She would always hang off me and even kissed me once. *gets a dreamy expression*.

At work some young female customers often act giggly and smiley and I wonder if they are laughing cos they think I'm shy and quiet and weird but sometimes I get the feeling it's because they think I'm a boy and they're being flirty. I do like that feeling :happy:
The gay guys that come in just treat me like normally and like one of them, which I ADORE seeing that I often feel so much like a gay (or bi) guy. I feel relaxed and happy around them (apart from the strain of trying to look and sound like a guy).

[Calliope]

It sounds very cool that your transition has brought some postive changes into your social world.

A bit of ambiguity for your comrades, maybe they'll love you for it. More freedom for you.

I can relate to your missive, it's unusual to attract people (both genders) that never would have 'noticed' the earlier person.

Rock on, mate!

[Lisa Golightly]

Nice to see some male bonding in the workplace :)

Some gals just like to flirt... even if it isn't going to go anywhere... Sometimes that's the nicest flirting of all ;)

[Kate Simmons]

Ya know what Cap? That's pretty interesting. I would probably treat you no differently myself. To me you will always be Captlex. That's the person I know. That's the person who is my friend. When I interact with people it's with the person, who they are inside. I've always been that way. I used to be a chemical operator for a major pharmaceutical company until I retired. When women began coming in and started working what was assumed to be typically "male" jobs, I never had a problem and worked along with them like I did everyone else. When I work with people, I work with the person and not the sex. I used to think I was kind of odd because everyone else seemed to need to relate to sexual innuendo and overtones (including the women). Guess what? I was the person everyone else used to come to when there was problems between the genders. I don't know what that made me but I still have the same attidude and don't plan on changing any time soon. :happy: Ericka Kay

[Calliope]

Some gals just like to flirt... even if it isn't going to go anywhere... Sometimes that's the nicest flirting of all ;)

I believe flirting is a magically-powered compliment. That's different from courting, which is like drawing up a contract.

[Kimberley]

Cap'n
That is very cool. I am envious.

Workplace dynamics are wierd to begin with then this transitioning gets tossed in and you really must be quite amused by it all.

Oh, and you always have been a guy for as long as I've been around here. One of the good ones at that.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[CaptLex]

Oh, and you always have been a guy for as long as I've been around here. One of the good ones at that.

:hugs:
Kimberley
Thank you little mermaid . . . and thanks all for your responses.

It's funny the things I never imagined would happen and now take me by surprise. Like the other day I saw my support group at a social event and one of them kissed me on the cheek and then said, "Dude, your stubble just scratched my face." I couldn't stop laughing 'cause it had never occurred to me that someone would say that to me someday. Actually, we both got a big chuckle out of it.

Oh . . . if only I had at least one cute guy flirt with me. :daydreaming:

[pocoyo]

other day I saw my support group at a social event and one of them kissed me on the cheek and then said, "Dude, your stubble just scratched my face."

Oh. my. goodness. I'm so jealous (in a good way!) :p As in.. wwooww that's so cool dude!!! Check Lex out with his fantastic stubble oooh!

Btw I was nipping in to say... what a fantastic name for a thread.

"Now that I'm a boy..."... wooow :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[durden]

Now that everyone at work knows about my transitioning, I find that most people treat me the same, but some people are treating me differently. I know that doesn't sound surprising - I expected some people would have a problem with it and others would just go about their business and treat me the same way. I'm not referring to those. I'm talking about people who don't seem to have a problem with it but are treating me differently.

Specifically, I find that a lot of the guys are a lot friendlier to me - including one that that never said a word to me and now acts like we're best friends. The thing I never expected is how many women flirt with me now. I've been hit on by both men and women all my life, so I know when a woman is flirting (and they flirt differently than men). It's kind of flattering, to tell the truth, but I can't encourage it. Just had these thoughts rolling around in my head - anyone experience stuff like that? This question is open to all.

I've noticed some things that are similar to what you described. You're right about dudes wanting to be more verbal. The other day I walked out of Starbucks... My ex walked through the door first & I followed behind her. Some employee saw her coming & held the door open for her, & continued to hold it for me too. He said nothing to her but told me to "See you later, dude. Have a good day." I know most guys are intimidated by pretty girls, but he still could've said something to her.

I've also noticed that when you're on the phone w/a girl [credit card employee, tech service, etc.] they seem to be a lot friendlier when talking to guys. They just treat you nicer I suppose.

I don't know, overall, I'd have to say that I'm treated much better now that I'm transitioning. Not that I was treated horribly before... just seems like you get a hell of a lot more respect.

[CaptLex]

I've also noticed that when you're on the phone w/a girl [credit card employee, tech service, etc.] they seem to be a lot friendlier when talking to guys. They just treat you nicer I suppose.

I don't know, overall, I'd have to say that I'm treated much better now that I'm transitioning. Not that I was treated horribly before... just seems like you get a hell of a lot more respect.
That's cool, dude. It's little things like this that we never expected that make the experience smoother, I think. We know there will be experiences we may not like, but it's nice to know there are also nice little surprises. :D

[Charleen]

On the other side, at work when I'm being Charlie and let Lily shine through, the woman in the office treat me different then when I first started there and was CHARLIE. I do have long hair, keep my nails long and polished, a touch of mascara at times, so there are subtle physical hints, but I found after I got back from a trip to N.Y. in June where I decided to stop denying my being Lily and hiding even from myself, things changed as I've said. Even when at my most Charlieness, woman are more friendly now. The only reason I can think of is that they see Lily as well.
I'm thrilled that everything is working out for you Captain, my Captain! Being accepted for who we are is terrific ain't it? Love and xxxx, Lily

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

I attended all boys private schools apart from my last two years when the school went coed.

Used to remember inter school dances and so forth; not to mention sex education classes (mixed) what a nightmare they were.

What I'm getting at here is in general guys feel comfortable around guys & the same goes with females too. Guys are going to act totally different around a group of their own sex as apposed to a mix of m & f.

The same goes for f too.

My take on it is, it's about being comfortable & not feeling exposed. Most guys still have the image that "BIG boys don't cry" and whilst on the sexes wagon I also feel that some women still believe that men should conform to the BIG boys don't cry theory too.

I can't speak for gay community as I'm hetro but from my experiences as a CD I know that females treat me totally different when they know. Don't know about guys as I don't tell them :D

I don't think its a conscious thing, I think it more deep seated that that and something that is learned behaviour, of course, in ay given situation there are exceptions.



hugs

x

beckii

[CaptLex]

What I'm getting at here is in general guys feel comfortable around guys & the same goes with females too. Guys are going to act totally different around a group of their own sex as apposed to a mix of m & f.
I agree with you, Beckii . . . that seems true in most cases. I was wondering if any of the guys would feel that I was barging in on their territory, but so far they've been most welcoming. Although one of them still calls me "love". I don't mind, but I imagine he probably doesn't realize it. One of these days I'll have to ask him if he calls all the guys that. :heehee: