Paying the Price

[Francesp56]

Hi everybody,
From the day you "outed " yourself to your Wife/SO/GG, has the Relationship {embracing Love,understanding,sex,mutual trust tenderness etc }resulted in a positive or negative situation, and to what degree?
Francesp56,
Melbourne,
Australia.

[Blonde]

For me It got better.
It was a good relationship to begin with, and like fine wine, has just gotten better with age.

[bianncats]

she moved out

[Melissa Ryan]

Life went on, I told her as we were getting together and we grew as friends and lovers. I am good friends as Melissa with my ex and my son too. Most of my friends know me as a girl at times, so I guess as an over all, life has got better! And yes its possible for Melbourne Boguns to accept us as TG. Just wish I could get work sorted though..........:happy:

[Cristi]

I'd have to say 'stayed the same'. Our relationship was based on love and understanding. She has always tried to understand this part of me, and while she does not *participate* in my CDing, her reaction to it has not been in any way a negative.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Positives and negatives but at this stage more strained during hopefully a long term transition from tolerance to supportive.

[~Dee~]

before i came out to my Kitty, we were having really hard times.
things were strained and problems unresolved ..

since then, things have changed dramatically ..
when i told her, i figured that i was going to lose her forever ...
but instead i know that we will be together forever ...
our relationship has developed that much and has strengthened so greatly, its like a totally difference union.

and boy am i glad for that. :happy:

[Joni Beauman]

Maybe the peaks and valleys have grown - or perhaps, more accurately, as they say in the Ozarks "the hills aren't high but the hollers are deep". In geologic time, we may reach full acceptance; too bad we won't live that long. But we're in a nice plateau at the moment - probably boosted by her fondness for the holidays - a contrast to my typical ambivalent brood this time of year. Joni

[cdjenny]

well she has known from the begin..thats how we meet...she did make up for a living..i had her do mine several times...next thing you know we are dating..it was great in the begining..now i just dont know her hardley any more..its like we are just roommates now..i dont think it has anything to do with my cding..but i just dont know...anyway she still helps me with all the things i need help with..that is cding..other than that we are distant to one another...and that is all i can say about that...:2c: :hugs: :love:

[Kate Simmons]

Negative from the aspect that she moved out and wants nothing to do with Ericka because Ericka "took" her man away from her. Positive from the aspect of me finally being in touch with my feelings. That's the "price" I had to pay for being myself. So, who's the "winner" and who's the "loser"? It's hard to say.:happy: Ericka Kay

[ronnie06]

there's a word I do not know.

must be some new generation thing huh?

"I" have never used it myself.

IF you are referring to the day I told whomever I wanted to transgender???? then I have to answer.......

many people that were once so called friends have turned their backs on me over the years....including 3 wives.

but then? I don't give a damn scarlett.
I am NOT going to my grave unhappy. they can all kiss my a**

of course, when you are over 50, and set in your ways, with a stubborn german temper.....whom is gonna tell me no?

take care

[Karren H]

At first it was negative and after a year it's moved into the neutral zone.....and I don't know if it will ever turn positive but if it doesn't, I can live and survive like this....

Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

At first it was negative and after a year it's moved into the neutral zone.....and I don't know if it will ever turn positive but if it doesn't, I can live and survive like this....

Love KarrenJust so you don't shave your legs in the Summer, right?:happy: Ericka Kay

[Tiffy]

Telling my wife was the best thing I ever did. We have grown together over the past few years and have a blast doing it.

Tiffy

[uknowhoo]

Well, it hasn't been quite two months since I came out to my wife. We've had some ups and downs, and she's just now getting to where she's pretty OK with it. On one hand, it's brought us much closer, but we both have some concerns about the challenges it may continue to cause in our relationship. A mixed bag, but on the whole, I'd say positive (I hope:o ).

This, by the way, is coming from a girl who couldn't have imagined coming out at all, as recently as last year. I was able to, in large part, thanx to all the support and understanding I've found here.

I love you guys!!!!!

[Janailene]

I would like to say neutral, but it deffinately has had its down side for the relationship. This is over 30 + years of her knowing.

[StacyCD]

Too soon to tell! I only came out to her Friday evening (12/1). We talked some but she said that she 'needed some time to get her head around it." At the time it seemed that she's was not too happy about my need to dress but it was much better than her absolutly being opposed to it. Since my disclosure to her I have had the opportunity to dress twice while she was away. While I was dressed I felt differently knowing that she knew about my dressing. HOPEFULLY, she will come to accept my dressing and she will move from being neutral to supportive.

I don't know what the future may hold but at least in my case telling the wife was the right thing to do!

[crossing-the-rain]

I told her before our marriage,she accepted and excited,but she did stressed that as long as I'm not gay,she'll fine.I stopped CD for a long period until about seven years ago when I was in deep depression due to some illness' problem,she started using this issue to attack me,against me,isolated me from the children a
for her own purposes.

[Pantyjason]

I told wife before we married...she didn't like it but didn't really care to some degree. Now we are married and its really bad....i want to so bad and she wants me to never do it. talk about mis communication...any advise?

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

when i found out of b/f c/d ( wed been together nearly 15months before i knew), i was really :eek: never expected in a million years of him being a c/d ! it ( still does sometimes) take some sinking in, and i wont lie, it isnt all "sweetness'like", but with alot of communication, and yes !! arguments, headway is made sometimes. everybody is differant to how they react to it, ( as the GG's will tell you ), BUT..... it can be fine if handled the right way :love:

[StayceeCD]

She has alternated from "I can't believe I'm married to a crossdressing freak" to "I've had some time to think about this and you know what.. this turns me on" to "I can't deal with this and don't know if I want it in my life" to "our daughter deserves to have her daddy" to as of now not much talking about it. She has not been in touch with other GG's and that is something I want her to do. Someone to talk to. She feels isolated right now. I do believe someday she will come to an acceptance and maybe it will become a really fun part of our relationship. :hugs:

[Joyciecd]

Joycie's boyfriend only sees me enfemme, and wants to keep it that way. He keeps special lingerie at his place and likes me to lounge in it. I am always enfemme when we get together, and we both like for me to change into the lounging outfits. He likes me to give him market lists for items that I need so that I can prepare brunches and/or dinners for us. He likes to pat my backside and flirt when I am preparing food and cooking, and always addresses me by my femme name. He likes watching me put makeup on, and also he likes brushing my hair, which is part-way down my back. In our relationship there is no 'paying the price' in a negative sense. Actually, he 'pays the price' for everything, because as an old fashioned girl I expect the guy to pay, and so does he, and he does, for everything including gas for my car! When we go out to clubs and restaurants, etc., he is the perfect gentleman including picking up all the tabs and checks.

[Satin]

5+ years later, I can still say that telling my wife was a positive for our marriage. All in all, it has allowed us to open up on any subject without worrying about the reaction we might receive. Basically, we communicate more which has been a good thing.

As a side benefit, we also have more fun fooling around whether it includes dressing or not.

Satin

[SatinSarah]

It has mostly been really good, apart form the time she found she couldn't cope anymore. Recently we have never been closer because we are sharing this again. I love her more and can relax and she knows the real me without the pent up frustration of not being able to dress. We are closer now than ever after 14 years married

[Calliope]

Our relationship hasn't changed a bit.

That's how dead it's been.

[LeannL]

I just told my wife about 7 weeks ago. It has been glorious since then even though I we are still working on how my other side will express itself. We both feel that my keeping the CDing secret created a barrier within a very good and communicative marriage. We now know that we have no secrets between us and anything is open to discussion. We have truly had our love grow beyond anything we could imagine.

[Country girl]

Most of the GG's on this site are fairly accepting. My ex SO told me after being together for a year and a half. I was actually totally fine with it and it made our relationship more exciting. We broke up recently but not because of his CDing. It had absolutely nothing to do with it. I felt he was a better person and more understanding of women because of his femme side. I hope in your case that your wife/SO can see the benefits and allow your relationship to become deeper and more satisfying because of your CDing. Best of luck to you.

[Sheila]

I only found out 4 months ago after being with him for over 2 years at that point, while his being a cdr wasn't/isn't a problem the lies and deciept he practised before I knew took some getting over.
I buy most of Claire's stuff, some of it we look at together before we buy ----ebey is good for that---- some he buys himself.

Claire most definately has far more skirts and sexy undies's than I do ------ but it does make shopping for Christmas and birthdays a tad easier :D

We have had our rough moments over the last couple of months but things are back on an even keel or even in upswing at the moment, sometimes one or other of us push things a little, and therin lies the start of a problem area if we are not careful, but life is good at the moment.

I am glad I now know, and it hasn't dented my love for this guy one bit, I love him more with each passing day

Jess

[Joy Carter]

Acknowledged but not accepted. We have a great marriage but she's afraid if anyone found out she wouldn't be able to handle it. It's been a plus for me but the down side is how badly it has made her feel. I can't say how sorry I am for that but I feel like a weight has been lifted. And I'm much more happy with myself. Something I have never known. Now I have to work with her on her feelings.