Finding Your SO

[Peggy55]

Hi everyone. I am really new to crossdressing. I have only been dressing for a couple of months. I find it very exciting as well as very soothing. I live alone and nobody knows about my closet full of clothes and wigs! I am heterosexual and currently do not have a girlfriend. My question is: How hard has it been for some of you to find a mate GG who is reseptive to your dressing? I dont know how I would approach someone or if there are many straight women out there who would be reseptive to or at least tolerate a crossdresser? Certainly doesn't seem like a good intro line! Any comments? Thanks

[Cyndie]

Hi, I can't answer your queastion as I have been married for 38 years. I suggest that you look for the postings of Angel Darling and his wonderful wife Marla. They met through a CD board.

TTFN
Cyndie

[Calliope]

If you go out and meet gals while enfemme, the whole dilemma solves itself on the spot.

Might even have better luck than ya used to.

[Bethanygirl]

It came naturally to me, just as it does for all the drab people out there. I was living my life enfemme 24/7, working, meeting people socially, and eventually met the most beautiful woman in the world who came to love me, and I her, just as I am. I would suggest to any young CD that if they are drawn to it strongly, they should embrace the dream and live it. It can be hard, and painfull, but eventually you will have the life and relationships you want. I hear so much pain in this forum, and it mostly comes from those who because of social mores, self doubt, and external intolerance, did not come out until later in their life and relationships. Start right, accept what you are, whatever that may be, then live it. Everything else will come in it's time.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best, and love in your life.

P.S.
Try this site, it is oriented towards young CD's, and helping them cope, find rsources for help, and just support:
http://www.transproud.com/

[DeeInGeorgia]

It took me 15 years of trying to date, dating and not finding, and then finally finding my wife, without her knowing about my CDing. I think that much of the way my mind and body was wired from a transgender point is what made it so difficult to find a wife.

I am no one to suggest anything, but the ideas above about going out enfemme may be something to try. Try both ways and see what works best for you.

Dee

[Butterfly Bill]

Like some of the others have said, come out, go out while dressed, and you will find out the women who are attracted to this sort of thing by the way they react to actually seeing you.

[Bernadina]

OK. I've been there and done that. And it worked for me.

First I met the lady. First contact was over the internet. Within a week or so we met for coffee and then we dated. I introduced her to my CDing by inviting her to a GNO dinner after we had been dating for a few weeks. I said that it was for girls only and that everyone went as girl.

So she helped me get dressed and put on makeup. It was the first time I had gone out dressed. Later when I asked her about it she said it was bit odd but she was OK with it.

Now, 5 years and married later, she is very supportive and we do girls things together.

I know that it won't work for everyone but that is how it worked for me.

[Rita Knight]

I gave up on the social scene quite some time before I actively dressed. I think of it as a "meet" market both ways. These statements accurately describe some of my reasons for dressing. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I could not find the woman of my dreams, so I decided to become her.

[janedoe311]

And most loose their SO.

So If you are looking then good luck.

Can not help you, never was much at dating I am shy.

But tell her before it gets too serious.

I have found some women have no problem, (just keep it to yourself), some have no problem with it and will help and others will actually encourage it.

Then there are the other women that think that any man that wears woman’s clothes is Gay and nothing will change their mind.

Understand that some see it a reflection on them. If you “want to be a woman” then they will see themselves as a “lesbian” if they tolerate it.

[Sophy]

If you have the chance to live alone and you are young and credible enough as a girl, try to live enfemme as often and possible, decide to fully assume your feminity, and go out to bars and discos. You will meet women and be surprised by the reactions of many of them: lots of women are very friendly with CDs, and some are even fascinated par such amazing and graceful creatures. Among all theses female friends you'll will find your own girlfriend and partner of you feminine games.

[Erica Lauren James]

So it seems the advice is to go out en-femme. How does a single "girl" go out to clubs alone and not get hit on by all kinds of guys. I've been out before and get hit on all the time by guys, then it seems the girls think your gay cause your talking to a guy. Albeit that I didn't approach him.

Also if a girl did approach me which voice should I use, my reg. guy voice or my femme (soffened) voice.

Anyways keep the thread going I'd sure like to learn more on finding that open minded accepting gg SO

Kiera

[tekla west]

If you start with her knowing - ie as the above have said, you go to events dressed - the odds of being rejected later for that are small. Start with lies, well, there are plenty of posts here that describe that disaster.

[Country girl]

As a GG, I would say be honest about who you are. Sometimes even that isn't enough. I am on the other side of the coin. My ex SO is a CDer. I was very accepting and even enjoyed participating with him, but I was [and still am] the only person who knew/knows about his dressing. Even with my being accepting things didn't work. :( So you just never know. Honesty is always the best policy. If a GG is accepting, then you'll never have to hide that part of you. As many of the gurls on this site have said, that is one of the hardest parts of their relationship. Not being accepted or afraid to tell their SO/wife/GF for fear of rejection.:eek: Take care and good luck!:hugs:

Country Girl GG

[Kimkandy]

try to live enfemme as often and possible, decide to fully assume your feminity, and go out to bars and discos.

Hi Sophy,

I wondered what's Paris like for CD friendly bars and restaurants?

Kim

:dom: :Party2:

[Bernadina]

I think I have to disagree with some of the other girls here. I don't think going out dressed is going to find a substantial long lasting relationship with a women.

I'm assuming that we want to be men who dress and that the lady of our dreams accepts us as a man first and as a CDer second.

I know of other couples who have connected and he told her right up front about his desire to dress. She was fine and supportive even after they got married.

My advice is to be upfront and honest even if the connection is via the internet.

[Jesse69]

Maybe I'll try hitting on women when I'm in drag!

[Peggy55]

I wonder if there are any dating websites devoted to GG's looking for CD's and vis versa?????




As a GG, I would say be honest about who you are. Sometimes even that isn't enough. I am on the other side of the coin. My ex SO is a CDer. I was very accepting and even enjoyed participating with him, but I was [and still am] the only person who knew/knows about his dressing. Even with my being accepting things didn't work. :( So you just never know. Honesty is always the best policy. If a GG is accepting, then you'll never have to hide that part of you. As many of the gurls on this site have said, that is one of the hardest parts of their relationship. Not being accepted or afraid to tell their SO/wife/GF for fear of rejection.:eek: Take care and good luck!:hugs:

Country Girl GG

[crusadergirl]

Yeah if your looking for a SO that will accept you for your cding it would seem right to let them know. Thats what you enjoy to do. I have been hit on by more girls as Eris then my normal guy mode i don't know why. I was never to good at talking to girls untill i started dressing as one. Weird anyways good luck my friend.

[Felicia Conti]

Kiera's questions intrigued me as these remind me of the most frustrating part of being transgendered. Whenever I go out, and whether the venue is straight, gay, trans, or mixed, although I am attracted to women, I am constantly hit on by guys and women will not usually give me the time of day. If I go to a mixed fetish party, I am so busy trying to shake off the guys that I don't get a chance to meet women. One problem is that as a female, I am somewhat passive and never hit on women partly because I do not want to come across as a guy and partly because I am afraid of rejection by women. In either case, I get tired of being bombarded by guys but ignored by women. Does anyone else have this problem when you are out? What do you do about it? Thanks in advance for your ideas.

Felicia




So it seems the advice is to go out en-femme. How does a single "girl" go out to clubs alone and not get hit on by all kinds of guys. I've been out before and get hit on all the time by guys, then it seems the girls think your gay cause your talking to a guy. Albeit that I didn't approach him.

Also if a girl did approach me which voice should I use, my reg. guy voice or my femme (soffened) voice.

Anyways keep the thread going I'd sure like to learn more on finding that open minded accepting gg SO

Kiera

[Satrana]

I have a fantastic wife who genuinely accepts me without conditions. I met her by introducing myself as a cd although I was not enfemme at the time. Initially we were just friends but a few months later we became lovers. I was always honest with her especially about the extent of my crossdressing and what it meant to me so she walked into the relationship eyes wide open. Indeed I dare say my honesty about such a personal secret made me very different from the average guy and made me more intriguing to her.

Women who truely accept crossdressers are not that common, but neither are they that rare. Identify and approach open minded women and tell them about yourself. Even if crossdressing is not for them, they will likely accept you as a friend and will introduce you to other open minded women. Many women love to play matchmaker!

If you have the guts to be openly honest about who you are, that approach tends to impress people and you will be surprised how many people will accept you.

[Country girl]

I wonder if there are any dating websites devoted to GG's looking for CD's and vis versa?????



I wouldn't mind knowing the answer to that myself!

[Myst]

If you go out and meet gals while enfemme, the whole dilemma solves itself on the spot.

Might even have better luck than ya used to.

This is great advice! If ever I am single again, and have enough courage to go out enfemme, I myself, will have to keep this in mind!


Its always difficult to come out to someone after they've gotten to know you and a bond has been made. Better to deal with it as early on as possible.

[marie354]

All this advise sounds great but for me I've always been honest and upfront about it to the girls I have dated except one... She expolded in anger when she came to wake me one morning and found me in a nightie.. Oh well, I learned it's better to be honest. You'll find out early in the relationship if she's OK with it. It took me almost 40 years to fine the right one and she knew from the start but didn't actually see it until we got away from the kids one night. She's accepted it as a part of me ever since she found out that I was serious. Which when I talk like this... I should be so thankful for finding such a good woman.

So honesty worked for me but it took a while.

It wasn't all easy... One called me at work and said.. "All of your dresses are out on the front lawn and you better come get it before someone else does." It was the busiest street in town too. So sometimes it can be embarissing

[MJ]

If you go out and meet gals while enfemme, the whole dilemma solves itself on the spot.

Might even have better luck than ya used to.

day tripper is right . then the question is so what do you look like as a guy .. at least it gets you a date ? in drab too

[rory]

I would love to meet someone. MY last GF had medical issues that caused her to have to move away and be with her parents.
When I met her I was dressed and we hit it off right away. I don't thnk it was because I was dressed but more of just being honest and communicating.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Peggy55 View Post
I wonder if there are any dating websites devoted to GG's looking for CD's and vis versa?????

Originally Posted by Country girl GG
I wouldn't mind knowing the answer to that myself!