A though experiment: disguised? Fantasy vs reality

[Debb]

A thought experiment:

Is long hair enough, or do we require a wig?
How unrecognizable must we be? Why?
Wig vs. no wig: comfort issue?

I have determined that one of the main purposes behind my crossdressing is the fantasy that I exist as a young, pretty girl, who grew up as a girl. I stress, this is a fantasy.

In order to bring this fantasy to my imagination, I dress. When I look in the mirror to see myself fully dressed, the girl looking back at me (woman, really) is attractive -- certainly more attractive than I am. I look past the thick glasses to see the eyes, emphasized with just the right touch of makeup; I look past the fact that I'm overweight, instead I see a "curvy" woman with real hips and clothes that show that shape off. I admire the hair. In essence, I see almost a complete stranger who is me.

I want to change this fantasy a little bit, to bring it out into the open and live within it .. just a little bit. Of course, I am not and never will be an attractive young woman. I will never have the curves I see in the mirror -- not for real. And that's cool, that's not the part I want to bring to life.

I feel good about myself when I look in the mirror, and that's what I'd like to bring to my "real" life. I would like to incorporate a little crossdressing into my everyday life.

I have already been doing a bit of that. I have let my hair grow out some, and I brush it into a feminine style. I began avoiding my wigs, mainly due to comfort issues. This leads me to my questions for you:

1) When dressing, is long hair enough, or do you require a wig to complete your look? Why or why not?

2) How unrecognizable in general must you be? Why?

3) Wig versus no wig: is this a comfort issue for you? Are you truly comfortable wearing a wig when stepping out, or does it feel a bit like a disguise? Does any other part of the crossdressing feel like a disguise to you?

4) If there are other components of appearing female (or simply crossdressing) that you can do without, please feel free to talk about them. Any FtM crossdressers reading this, please feel free to make appropriate substitutions and answer any of the questions you want to.

I would like GG input also, if you have insights you feel would be helpful.

[Brianna Lovely]

1) When dressing, is long hair enough, or do you require a wig to complete your look? Why or why not?

2) How unrecognizable in general must you be? Why?

3) Wig versus no wig: is this a comfort issue for you? Are you truly comfortable wearing a wig when stepping out, or does it feel a bit like a disguise? Does any other part of the crossdressing feel like a disguise to you?

4) If there are other components of appearing female (or simply crossdressing) that you can do without, please feel free to talk about them. Any FtM crossdressers reading this, please feel free to make appropriate substitutions and answer any of the questions you want to.


A) I live in a hot climate, so have a buzz cut to keep cool, so a wig is a must. Why? I guess because women have been stereotyped for so long, that we think having long hair is feminine. But the reality is that many GGs have short hair.

B) I really don't think I try to be unreconizable, just more female. Why? I'm trying to show the true person inside, who is more female than male.

C) I love wearing a wig, it seems to really change my apperence. But I have my own conflict with the "passing" thing, so sometimes I go out with no wig.
Disguise? Sometimes I feel like the whole CD thing is a disguise. If you go out in a dress, you're scorned for being "a man in a dress". If you do your best to "pass", you could be killed, for trying to "trick" people.

D) I would just like to feel free to wear feminine clothing, without trying to pass, and not fear for my safety.

[Kate Simmons]

If I don't wear a wig, I'm an old bald guy in a dress. I don't want to be unrecognizable, in fact I want to be recognized, as Ericka, as the person I am. Everybody at the club knows me both ways anyway and they know I don't look the same way twice but all my friends know me by my personality. As far as comfort, I'm used to wearing wigs in the hottest of Summer weather, it's not an issue to me, so I'm "used" to it. In fact, since I dance a lot, even though I tend to sweat in my clothes (because I dance hard),I don't tend to sweat that much under my wig. It seems when I'm Richard and dance, I sweat more WITHOUT a wig. Why? I dunno, mind over matter, maybe? I don't need to present myself as a "woman". I never said I was one, really and never will. I'm just myself and people respect me for that.I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, with or without a dress on. It's not a disguise for me per se, only the expression of my feminine side and who I am basically as a person.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Marla S]

1) When dressing, is long hair enough, or do you require a wig to complete your look? Why or why not?

3) Wig versus no wig: is this a comfort issue for you? Are you truly comfortable wearing a wig when stepping out, or does it feel a bit like a disguise? Does any other part of the crossdressing feel like a disguise to you?

Let me answer this together.
In general I prefer natural hair. I doesn't have to be very long. There are nice feminine short hair cuts, it is possible to have an unisex haircut, or one that you can style this way or that way.
With a few exceptions most pics with wigs look just like that ... wig like. You need those "thick (pink) glasses" to lose sight of it. I admit I have these glasses too and can relate to what you said about them.

Though I have four wigs meanwhile, I almost never wear them, because I feel disguised and would feel unconfident going out. The rare occasions I wear them are my private Halloweens, or for photoshots just for the fun.
As you can see from my avatar, I have male baldness (the shot is one of the more favorable one) which is a bit of a dilemma, if you don't like wigs (though I might look more fem) and hats don't suit you. So someday I might end up with a wig ... but involuntarily.

Another thing that makes me feel disguised are breast forms. They just don't belong to me, though here too, I have to admit that sometimes a touch of padding (wonderbra-like) looks better.

In general I try to keep it natural (with a minimum of support once in a while ;) ). That doesn't make me the beautiful-young-slim-girl-with-nice-curves-and-shiny-long-hair (rare in my age anyway), but I think I am closer to myself and more authentic this way.
A guy in dress can look good and feminine too, and that's what I try to achieve (not that easy, though. Lot's of trail and error).



2) How unrecognizable in general must you be? Why?
Well from the above, it is obvious that I am recognizable when I am out and I want to have it this way.



4) If there are other components of appearing female (or simply crossdressing) that you can do without, please feel free to talk about them.
Because I am out almost every day, I can omit skirts and high heels (wear them at home).
I don't dare to wear them yet, but probably I would wear high heels seldom anyway, because they are a bit uncomfotable on the long-run.

[Teresa Amina]

If I don't wear a wig, I'm an old bald guy in a dress.

The hair is one of the first things I put on to "Teresa-fy" myself and the last thing I take off. Gotta have it! You young whippersnappers- all that hair to grow out:D A wig is not a disguise, but a means of expression, as are forms, padding and makeup.

[Kate Simmons]

Damn straight Teresa. Hey, if I did have hair, you'd best believe I'd let it grow and style it myself. I've noticed some of the gals on the Forum have their own and they look good. One of my CD friends has her hair done regularly by her hairdresser. There is no comparison really. The real hair looks much nicer and prettier. I've gotten used to wigs though. They say a woman's hair is her crowning glory and it's no less so with us, real or not.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Karren H]

My male hiar sucks...female wise so a wig is the only way to go!! And I like the fact that I can change my look and style in a heartbeat but changing hair!! And I usually cary 3 or more wigs with me while out, so step into the car with short hair and back out with long!! pooffff!!

As far as a discuise...it is but I don't use It as one!! I don't look anything like Karren (or Kandi or Kari), those that have seen my transformation video can atest to that!! But its the female me!! Not the male me in disguised as a woman!!

And components.....The whole Karren is made up of all the components.....not just the clothes!! Like I've allways said! All male in guy mode, all fem in girl mode!! Best of both genders, when and where I wish!

Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

And you are very good at being both Karren if I may say so. You are the utmost achiever. Love you to bits.:hugs: Ericka Kay

[JeanneF]

My natural hair is a bit on the longish side (for a guy), and it cut in a distinctly unisex, bordering on femme, style that I can "girl up" with a little bit of product. I'm lucky to have a full head of thick hair, that according to my stylist, "most girls would kill for".

That said, I do prefer the look of long hair. It frames my face better and softens up my features. A good quality wig doesn't have to look "wig like"...it's the challenge on finding one that fits your face and personality.

[Calliope]

At 47, I'm lucky as hell to have hair that's still growing like crazy. I gotta admit, having it encouraged my move into the TG universe.

That said, if I was bald, I would wear a wig - just like Zsa-Zsa has done since the Nixon Administration.

[vanessaleigh]

I have been a hair farmer for years (after all the time in the military and business I just decided to start growing my hair to give to Locks of Love). Still, it is too thin on top and not many girls have a fivehead, so for me, a wig is a necessary part of who I am if I am going to go out.

If I am staying in though, who needs the wig. Some nice hair ornaments or doing up the long pony tail works just fine.

I wish I never had to wear the wig, but then again, I hate being bald in either mode!

[JoAnnDallas]

For me a wig is a must. Between the fact that my wife will not let me grow my hair long and I have MPB, a wig is the only way to go.

[linnea]

I'm nearly bald as a man, so a wig is a must for me too. But I really enjoy wearing them, and I like the fact that I can change style pretty easily.

[Lisa Golightly]

1) I have my own long hair. I absolutely hated wigs.

2) lol... Hmmmm I think half the world knows me by sight now ;)

3) See 1

4) I think I've gone beyond the... creationist phase... I couldn't even guess what male sizes I am... I can't remember how they work. It's been so long now I just buy and wear what I like. I often don't bother with makeup... but always moisturise.