Two good halves make a great whole

[christine55]

Finally the week end. It looks like I'll be able to remain femme till Sunday afternoon. Just a few thoughts on that.
I'll enjoy being a girl for a couple of days but when the weekend is over I know I'll probably feel kind of like I wasted two days. I don't mean to say that I won't have some fun, probably go shopping for a new outfit or two, maybe get an idea to get some pics outdoors.
What I have been considering though is that if I were to spend more of my free time in guy mode I could do some things which would add much more to my life than the above. Maybe get a salable pic or two, maybe work on improving my work skills, the lack of which gets me stuck in a job I dont enjoy, maybe grow in relationships with others. What I am getting at is that too much time spent CD ing has stunted my life as a male. Granted there are many up sides to putting energy into Christine, there are up sides to putting energy into my other half. I certainly don't think I could or should give up Christine but only that I feel there needs to be a balance found. Someone posted a while ago that they never referred to their male half as "drab".
I agree completely. Unless one is going to transition completely we have two halves of our personality. Both halves should be viewed positively.
Hugs, Christine
http://myweb.cableone.net/rjoh2/paisleyskirt.jpg

[Julie York]

Mend the tap in a frock, change into maid's outfit, clean bedroom, change clothes, clean kitchen, then see how many fem things you can get under your drabs and go food shopping, come back, change, improve skills, change clothes, do washing, do painting etc etc.

That should keep you busy.

[Julie]

Very interesting Christine, you're quite right in saying that a balance has to be found between our two halves. In my case with other commitments outside of work I feel I do not set aside enough time for Julie. This is why in a thread about our plans for 2005 I stated that this year I am going to lessen my other commitments, this way I can then get the balance right between my two halves.

JJ

[Wendy me]

a balance is what you need for shure..........with out it you can realy get messed up
the two parts of you in termoil is not good......... till or if you decide which will be the only side and a choise is not allways have to happen......... if you are happy why change???????????????? sorta like the two of you playing nice togerther

[ChristineRenee]

Hello Christine and fellow T-girls,

Good day to all of you. I think I have spent my whole adult life trying to achieve that balance between Christine and "Roy". I know that I spent a lot of time in my younger years "creating" the personna that "Roy" ultimately became. Christine, of course, had issues and a major self-esteem problem, and "Roy" spent a lot of emotional energy trying to keep Christine from permeating his personna. "Roy" was, by his way of thinking anyway, "all man" of course, and the world would not accept or tolerate feminine behavior from the male species back then. As a result, "Roy" never caught on to the fact that he was living his own lie. Why, he never understood at all that he was really an external manifestation of a woman's inner being that eventually would have to emerge from her internal jail cell, and take control of the human vessel that was transporting her around all this time.

"Roy" never knew it, but even back then his days of self-determination were already beginning to be numbered. More and more, the powerful influence of Christine's feminine wiles and will were starting to break down "Roy"'s male ego and began to compete with him for "lebensraum" (living space) in the confined corridors of "Roy"'s brain. Ever so gradually over the years, Christine continued to chip away at the male superiority that "Roy" had been indoctrinated with for so many years by his male role models and counterparts.

Finally, "Roy" came to realize that it was never about him at all. He came face to face with the stark realization that he was a facade, a fabrication, a puppet on a string, if you will. He tried, oh how he tried, to be like his grandfather, his father, and his older brother, but he suddenly knew now that it was all smoke and mirrors. His body was still his, but his mind was no longer sure of the commands that he had been so carefully programmed to carry out. He started to question his own male superiority now. They had always told him that he was in charge, he ran the show, that he was#1. And now he had begun to understand that this female alien being that had been lurking inside of him for so long, had finally grown so strong and powerful, that he could no longer take control of his own thought processes and actions. This..."Christine thing"..had taken over his manhood. Oh my God...what was he going to do now? How could he tell his male role models and counterparts that he really wasn't like them, and probably, never really was like them at all!

So "Roy", completely shaken by this "feminine revolution" that had supplanted his masculine being, decided to humble himself and seek medical help to get some answers as to just what the hell was happening to him and what can he do about it. After a number of sessions of therapy with an understanding and sympathetic female therapist, "Roy" began to understand the change that had been going on little by little over the course of his life. He suddenly began to see things differently. His eyes had been "opened" to new thought processes and new and somewhat confusing emotional awakenings. "Roy" was losing his own ship as Christine was now ready to remove him from command and carefully steer his vessel back into the calming waters of human existence.

What ultimately became of "Roy" then, you ask? Well, he is still allowed to inhabit the vessel he once totally commanded. But now he serves a new master, or should I say rather, a mistress...and her name is Christine.
But it is a curious phenomenon my friends..."Roy" is actually "happy" in his newfound role. Rather than resent the fact that Christine had supplanted him as commander, he embraced her for the knowledge, skill, and levelheadedness that she had demonstrated over the years...even as he was in command and rejected the advice she had always tried to give him. He knew now that Christine was only trying to make him the best commander that he could possibly be despite his very limited ability, and that eventually she would be able to replace him as commander of the vessel and take firm control of where this vessel's journey was going. "Roy", now was somewhat relieved to have the burden of command lifted off of his shoulder's and on to the capable shoulders of his feminine ruler. The turmoil, anxiety, and stress he had always experienced while being commander had now subsided suddenly as Christine's firm and steady hand guided and steered the vessel towards the calming seas of human existence once more.

There you have it ladies. A modern day true to life fairy tale. How does it all end you ask? Well, the story continues on my friends as does the vessel...and Christine is the Captain of her own ship now.

I hope you enjoyed my story ladies.:)

Love to all,
Ship's captain, Christine Renee:cool: ;)

[Tristen Cox]

Unless one is going to transition completely we have two halves of our personality. Both halves should be viewed positively.

Quite true, I couldn't have said it better. And again a lovely pic Christine. Hope your weekend is going well :) *big hugs*


Love
Tristen

[Sara Violet]

i feel slightly different. I feel as though I wanted to fit in so bad that I pretended to be a boy to fit in. As years went by I lost Myself in this lie and was led in to a downward spiral into depression. I have to thank my gf for helping me. She forced me to talk about who i truely am. As for the fake male in me? I plan on seeing a gender specialist to purge it from me. I am a girl, why should i let anyone stop me from becoming a girl. I have spent all my life helping and doing everything in my power to make people happy thinking to myself that i will never be truely happy. My life quote has always been "life sucks for one reason and one reason only, and when i find that reason life will be good." Well I found the reason (well i always knew the reason just needed to come to terms with it), I should be a girl...as soon as i am a girl life will be good :)

[sherri]

I have nothing but respect and empathy for those ladies who need to achieve a completely feminine identity and existence in order to be fulfilled and happy.

But many of us are looking for something short of that, and so I want to commend Christine55 for making an extremely important point. Balance is everything. For most of us here, crossdressing is an important, even essential expression, but because it can too easily turn into a progressive compulsion, regular reality checks are a good idea.

Maybe once a week we girls here should turn to each other and say, "You're beautiful. I just love you. Isn't crossdressing fun! But remember, there's more to life than just crossdressing."

[sherri]

Quidam honey, you're setting yourself up for a fall. The best way to avoid disappointment and depression is to be realistic in your expectations. Life has its ups and downs whether you're wearing men's pants or a cute skirt. Believe that.

Let me try to tell you something that's probably difficult for a young person to grasp, but you shoud try: Everything, and I mean everything, in life has a trade-off. In other words, to get one thing, you give up another.

Believe that, too.

xoxo

[wilma]

Ballance in ones life is essential but isn't it fun to rock the boat? We just have to remember not to capsize the vessel, our panties will get wet. LOL Wilma

[Sweet Susan]

I've never been able to find a balance. I wish anybody luck who can achieve it.

[Rikki]

Wilma, how true that is. I had not thought of it, but it works for me.

Rikki

[stevie h]

My balance keeps hopping about in the boat and will not sit still. Sometimes i nearly tip over. It is only my loving and patient partner and some of the lovely messages i have read on this forum that have kept me from jumping ship altogether. Its a fairly good analogy. At the moment i am in calm waters and sitting down content. I must say to myself be happy and grateful with your life. Things are good.




thoughtly yours



stevie.

xx

[Rachel Ann]

Unless one is going to transition completely we have two halves of our personality. Both halves should be viewed positively.
That's me exactly. Rick and Rachel love and need each other. I couldn't be a whole person without both of them.

I guess that's a luxury unavailable to those who transition. But, perhaps they wouldn't see it that way. We so unique, each of us and all of us. :)

[Rachel Ann]

I should be a girl...as soon as i am a girl life will be good :)
(((((Quidam)))))

You are a girl, don't forget that!

"Happiness isn't a station you'll arrive at, it's the train you're traveling on." - Lionel Barrymore

Love