Who would you date?

[RevMoonSerpent]

Ok we have discussed in previous threads whether an FtM would date a MtF etc. My question is a little different and anyone can respond to this.

We all talk about how we see a person for who they are, an FtM as a male and a MtF as a woman but, I wonder how far our thoughts really go. If you are for example a FtM and are attracted to men, would you date another FtM? Same question applies to MtF that are attracted to women, would you date a MtF?
I hope that makes sense and to answer my own question I am happily married to a wonderful man but, since I am bi I would date another FtM.

[Kieron Andrew]

i am not attracted to men but if i was, it wouldnt stop me dating a FTM as thats what they would be in my eyes....a man......

[Abraxas]

I've thought about this before, and, as much as I'd like to say I'd date anyone regardless of their gender or physical sex, I wouldn't. Reason being, I've got a bit of eurotophobia (fear of female genitals). I'll admit I was just looking at a list of phobias. :heehee:
Seeing myself or any genetic female naked (especially in person) just gives me the willies (if you'll pardon the pun). Myself less so, obviously, since I'm used to myself.
As for MTFs, I'm a little bit hesitant because I did used to date a pre-op MTF and it wasn't the greatest experience (for a number of reasons, most of which having nothing to do with transgenderism) and so I still have a problem with the idea of me being in a relationship with another MTF (just a case of once bitten, twice shy, I guess). That, and I've always been uncomfortable getting close to really girly girls. I've never been friends with any extremely effeminate girls (they don't seem to take to me too much, either)-- and I'm not saying that I think all MTFs are super girly, but . . . Hmmm. I can't really find a way to put this. I dunno, I guess I don't really fancy the idea of my bathroom counters being overtaken by bottles of makeup and false nails. I sure hope I haven't offended anyone, as that was definitely not my intention!
Anyway, that's just my opinion as it stands at the moment.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't look at dating as recreation as some do, I look at it as getting to know a person. That having been said and what I always say about accepting a person at face value takes a lot into consideration. I value people and their feelings, so if I decided to date someone, the purpose would to get to know more about those feelings and that person. I would become their friend first and that's the most important part. Once we are comfortable really confiding in someone, persuing the relationship is the next step. What a person is physically makes little difference to me as that can always be accommodated. The inner spirit of a person is what attracts me and that's what I connect with. Yeah, I'm a M T F CD but am really no "girly" girl. I don't play that game and present myself as who I am. I could date and eventually have a relationship with a guy, girl,F T M or M T F.It makes very little difference to me as it's the person who counts, regardless of who they choose to be or what they choose to look like.:happy: Ericka Kay

[suzy]

I can't entertain the thought because I am in a committed relationship, so it couldn't happen. If however, I wasn't involved in a committed relationship, I believe that I would if the right "person" came along....:love:

[Ryan]

I fancy who I fancy, whatever they are or may be. That has included male/females, lesbians, bisexuals in the past. If I see someone I like and we get it on then thats ok. The first thing for me is not what sex they are or whatever. Its that I like them, I look at them and I am attracted to them. I cant help myself.

[Marla S]

Interesting question !

Never really thought about it, but thinking about it I feel similar like Abraxas.
I think a relationship with a FTM-CD could work, post-op MTF-TS could work, pre-op MTF-TS maybe (depends), MTF-CD wouldn't, FTM-TS probably not.

Making friends would be independent of all this; personality counts.

[pocoyo]

Interesting question!

Hmm I have spoken to someone that is FTM who is dating another FTM. Although I think it's kind of nice for them I can't help but think that it doesn't feel quite right to me. If they'd had surgery... maybe. It's just gotta be such hard work ignoring the girl parts all the time if they are having a proper physical relationship.


As I am NOW (female body):
Even though I am a gay boy I was considering trying to date a certain gg but on the condition that she saw me as a guy. Just exploring my masculinity :p This wouldn't work very well though as I wouldn't want to have a physical relationship with her. Just the occasional kiss perhaps. I wouldn't want her to be physical with me with me having a female body. Plus she probably wouldn't see me properly as a guy.

Likewise, I have avoided proper relationships with gms for a few years because I've known something wasn't quite right.
The same applies to mtfs.

Basically I think I'm just undateable right now! - Oh dear that's a bit of a depressing thought. Oh bugger.

My ex boyfriend said to me he will even see me as a boy if I want because he likes my boy side too (bless his heart) but I don't actually fancy him despite his piratey looks lol! and anyway I know he doesn't see me properly as a boy. Plus we could never do anything physical anyway (even if I did happen to find him attractive) - I wouldn't want him looking at or touching me and I would be jealous of his "superior" boyness which I lack - so whats the point?


If I had a boys body/had transitioned:
I would date anyone as long as they were a nice, funny person who I found attractive. GG, GM, pre or post op MTFs & FTMs,... bring 'em on :p
Even though I sort of have that disgust over female parts I do sometimes think I would be such a nice boyfriend for a girl and would like to give it a go.

Actually a couple of months ago a friend of mine online (who thinks I am a gay gm) said to me "You know what, I don't think it would bother you what gender someone was, you would just fall in love with the person." That might well be true (if I had a boy's body lol).

[Shelly Preston]

This is an interesting question

I would say that all combinations are possible it depends on the people involved.

Think of all the GG's who are in loving relationships with mtf's
I wonder how many mtf's may have dated ( in drab)only to discover later that they were dating an mtf ?(and not a GG)

As for me I am happily married

It's all about commitment to another person irrespective of their gender

[ubokvt]

First I am in a commited relationship and I just don't have any interest in anything else but on the other hand being a good libra trying to look at all sides and ballance the scale.

I am a hetro at this time and still (father fogive I will try harder) still have a touch of homophobia I could could consider a male persona but not cross the line. Were I in a dark room just touching I think their biology and my conditioning would take over.

To work it would have to start with me knowing who they were at the start and intimate relations were a possiblity. I have gotten to know friends as their chosen sex and then found out later biology was different. I still see them as their chosen sex. Funny visuals realy help I've got to know a number of you guys by your picture and you male persona, You are males to me you will always be males no mater how you dress or don't and My homophobia would kick in. Now Captlex on the other hand since he hasn't posted a pic could go either way, but kieron or pocoyo I'm sorry its just fishing guys.

[CaptLex]

I really like this thread! Hmmm . . . let's see . . .

I used to think I could only be attracted to genetic males 'cause, to be honest, the "original equipment" is very important to me. However, when I started attending my support group sessions and met a lot of great, smart, funny, sweet and supportive guys, I quicky came to realize that I could easily become attracted to many of them, and the genitals could be negotiable. It seems to be a matter of perspective with me - if I "see" them as guys (and I do - all of them), then the rest is just window dressing.

Having said that, however, I have to add this: the topic of trans-sex has come up a lot in our group discussions (although mostly in the bar after group), and I know that a lot of the guys have issues with not wanting to be touched in certain areas, not wanting to remove their clothes, only having sex in the dark in a room without mirrors, etc., so before I could tackle a physical relationship with any of them, I think I need to read the rulebook. :p

I won't totally rule out a relationship with a GG or an MtF (CD or TS) only because I have learned to never say never because I've come to change my mind about so many things in my life, but I have yet to be attracted to anyone female or presenting as female (well, except Eddie Izzard, of course :ld: ). I have even seen some masculine-looking women that I might go for, but I'm not interested in making love to a woman, or having a woman (or a man for that matter) treat me like a woman, so that would have to be clear up front.

The good thing is that there are so many options for those of us who can keep an open mind and be willing to see the person first, so why limit ourselves?

[CaptLex]

I am a hetro at this time and still (father fogive I will try harder) still have a touch of homophobia I could could consider a male persona but not cross the line. Were I in a dark room just touching I think their biology and my conditioning would take over.
It's funny how you say, "at this time" . . . hmmm (Freudian slip?). I'm just butting in to ask you to clarify something. When you refer to your "touch of homophobia" do you mean you really hate gays, or are you just saying that you're not attracted to men? And I really hope it's the latter (or you'll get one of these :spank:).


Now Captlex on the other hand since he hasn't posted a pic could go either way
And that's one of the things that keeps me from posting (aside from not being photogenic) . . . I don't pass very well yet, and I'd rather you thought of me as a guy and not have me go "either way". :heehee:

[crossing-the-rain]

This is a good question,I think it's all depends on our own personnality.
For me ? Before three months ago,I never thought about dating any other men women,MTF,FTM,bi, I was a non active CD.and never cheated.
But if I have to choose ,my answer is a woman,second chioce is FTM,then may be MTF but no man for sure.
Anyways,I'm old and ugly,I won't be attracted from any man or woman,FTM or MTF,period.

Rain.

[ubokvt]

It's funny how you say, "at this time" . . . hmmm (Freudian slip?). I'm just butting in to ask you to clarify something. When you refer to your "touch of homophobia" do you mean you really hate gays, or are you just saying that you're not attracted to men? And I really hope it's the latter (or you'll get one of these

Strangly enough its neither, its some of my old New England puritanical, strong, distant, isolated male crap, how men don't touch each other. Being alone, keeping your distance, and boundries. Old childhood conditioning I'm trying to get over, but being here in new england keeps reinforcing it. My father never huged or touched me except to discipline.

[Jenniferritchie]

What a question, i have read the replies and found them very interesting. My own feelings as a happily married man, i am not loking to add any futher partnerships to my life. However should my present relationship come to an end for whatever reason, i would be looking for a gg who was understanding of my need to be jennifer, i can hear a lot of comments from many of you out there saying that i have a very narrow vision and that my mind may not be as open as it should be, but i have nothing against what ever other individuals chosefor their own way of life, i just want to enjoy the diversity of people and respect their choices, the important factor for me is that people should feel free to be who they are and enjoy themselves.

[CaptLex]

should my present relationship come to an end for whatever reason, i would be looking for a gg who was understanding of my need to be jennifer, i can hear a lot of comments from many of you out there saying that i have a very narrow vision and that my mind may not be as open as it should be
Not at all! Nothing wrong with wanting what you want - whatever works for you, hun! :hugs:

[RevMoonSerpent]

Thanks everyone for all of the responses. I wasn't sure how the question was going to come across but, it seems everyone understood easy enough.

[Evert]

I would love to answer, but I can't. Because I'm not attracted to men!

I would date a MtF, but that's not the question. :rolleyes:

[Kimberley]

That is a tough one to answer. So let me say I am in a long time marriage. Now, if that were to be ignored.

As an M2F TG/TS. I could:
date an F2M TS
date an M2F CD
Bi or gay of either gender.

Okay, that said. I would still want a relationship first and foremost. A physical relationship could happen but only when the emotional attachment was strong enough... or if I was plied with some serious quantities of rum. Of course, rum balls just dont count... that is unfair advantage at any time...

:hugs:
Kimberley

[JulieCDorlando]

Hello,
Excellent question. I have dated both GM's and GG's in my past. I have not dated a MTF or FTM yet, due to mostly not being presented with such an opportunity, but if such an opportunity with either one does come about, I wouldn't turn that down. I would like to believe I am open to any and all possibilities in the dating world. In answer to your question.... Yes I would date a MTF.

[Dasein9]

I've never been all that much into women sexually, and really don't know what to do with female genitalia that isn't mine, but a few months ago a friend said something about how sexy bodies in transition are. So... I started seeing bodies in a different way.

Now, I think I could date a transman, but really haven't got much opportunity to since all those I know are in a tight social circle and it would be far too incestuous.

At this point, I just want to figure out how to date again.

[Wendi {LI NY}]

I think it would not matter what gender I dated ,i am not that fussy![smile]
My only requests would be good hyigine, and not to to hairy .I am not fond of hairy creatures ![lol]gg,s ftm ,mtf, gm are ok with me ,,ooh sense of humor helps too ... :2c: hugs,Wendi

[MJ]

ok my take on dateing. well i would date a gg. and also a m2f cd'er, ts pre op, post op, or a f2m , i think it depends on how we get along ..