Spotting another CDR

[Sheila]

HI, how easy or not is it to spot someone as another CDR?
How many of you suspect that somebody else you know in everyday life also crossdresses?

I ask because my CDR suspects that one of the peeps he works with is also into crossdressing, by the way we are friendly with him and his wife and get together on the odd occasion for drinks and eats at their place (she is allergic to dog/cat hair so can't come to ours). So how do we broach the subject if we decide to ?
Jess

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe just bring it up in casual conversation when referring to a movie that feature it or an article about CD's. Don't make it obvious but note the reaction. We CD's have kind of a built in radar. I call it CDar(after gaydar). Only because we are who we are. We can pick up signals others would not think twice about.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

im not very good @ spotting things like this !! ( hence not having a clue about darrell ) :( but, just lately, i tend to "look" more, and take notice, if i spot some "sighns" as it were ( lol sorry no offense meant). :o then i start to wonder. but jess, as erika has said, maybe trying to approach subject may be a start :thumbsup:

[Kate Simmons]

im not very good @ spotting things like this !! ( hence not having a clue about darrell ) :( but, just lately, i tend to "look" more, and take notice, if i spot some "sighns" as it were ( lol sorry no offense meant). :o then i start to wonder. but jess, as erika has said, maybe trying to approach subject may be a start :thumbsup:Don't fault yourself for not "seeing" it, Hon. We tend to try to cover our tracks the best we can when our SO is involved. You can imagine the shame of your guy admitting to you he likes to be a "woman". If you are in a very close realtionship though, it's damn near impossible to hide it forever though. Regardless of the outcome, I was really relieved, when after two years of marriage and two babies, I finally told my wife. She really had no clue before that. It was a shock to find out the manly man she married liked to put on a dress, wig and makeup. The hardest thing to get across to someone you love from my perspective is trying to convince her it has nothing to do with my feelings for her as a woman. My wife refuses to fathom that or believe it. She initially felt there had to be something wrong with her for me to want to do that. Even though she now realizes that is not true, she has made it perfectly clear she wants a man not a man/woman. I recently told her I would put Ericka on the shelf to be her husband. She feels she cannot trust me since she's been disappointed in that respect so many times in the past.Can't say as I blame her really. Anyway, I'll bet you could recognize the signs now, especially now that you are sensitive to it.:happy: Ericka Kay

[CD_Rene]

I went to Walmart earlier this week and the checkout line I got into had a girl that was 6 foot tall, her hands were as large as mine, and had a very masculine face. even her hips and arms looked like a guys. When she talked it was very soft and quiet like she was trying to keep it high. Right then I figured she was transgendered.

[Diana West]

I can never tell.

[jo_ann]

I can always spot a CDR.. the silver ones are stamped, the writable ones are usually green or blue on the bottom of the disc :-)

[Marla S]

Never spotted one of my friends or colleagues as CD, though the one or other most likely is.
In general I think it is pretty hard to spot a closeted CD. They will avoid that matter.

[MJ]

I can always spot a CDR.. the silver ones are stamped, the writable ones are usually green or blue on the bottom of the disc :-)

ha ha ha. well why don't you talk about watching a movie trans America and see what the reaction is then go from there ?

[Melissa Ryan]

Gigglin at you Jo ann! :heehee: I got a couple of stamps on me too! So must mean I am the real thing! :D

[ErikaLeigh]

I know a guy that I think is a CD at my church. Both ears pierced, shaved legs, and a few other things. Although I will never ask, because if he isnt, then I out myself. Oh the secret world we all live in. Too bad we cant all have a little way to tell each other without actually talking about it.

[gillian1968]

Was at Quiznos the other day, was sure I saw an ftm.

It appeared to me he was hiding his breasts, was obviously on T as he'd grown facial and arm hair, but what gave him away (to me) was his mannerisms and then I noticed the breasts. Might not have noticed anything but that he was running the cash register and we interacted for that brief transaction.

I agree with the CDar theory :)

Absolutely no way I can think of to say absolutely anything without embarrassing the heck out of someone... Funny this "silent camaraderie" we CD/TGers seem to share.

Tasha

[kathy gg]

Jess.....I think it makes one very vulnerable if you are wrong. And even if this person denighed it...they still might be, but are not ready to share that info with their wife, or anyone else.

I often think for every cd that is bold enough to joina support forum there are double that amount who don't trust the internet, or dont' have access {or knowledge} to a computer, or just are so deeply in denial they don't even think of what they do as *crossdressing*.

I have met a few guys who I play tennis with who I would be willing to bet are cd's. BUT....I would NEVER EVER EVER confront them. And it has nothing to do with lack of body hair or ears being pierced...there is just a familiar aura about their personality which I sense in most cd's I have known. But outing people ain't my gig. I think alot of people perfer privacy in this thing and I can dig that.

[Sally24]

I think we might pick up on clues that other people would miss. That being said, anyone who thinks they can spot every CD for sure is wrong! I've seen CD's in Boston that you could not tell from a GG. I only know that they are because they come to our Gurls group.

Sally

[Sierra Evon]

You might try saying something like "soo well do you have a computer?'
& do you CDRW.........:eek:

[Sheila]

when my dh was having a drink after work with his mate recently his girlfiend at the time, (they married a few weeks ago), joined them for a drink with her friend, the first thing she said to him was, "have you been wearing my clothes":eek: this in a crowded pub around T time on a fri evening, at first his work mate deinied it but later admitted it, the female friend was appalled, lots of conversation followed with DH defending the rights of people to dress as they desired, mates g/f was upset, and when I phoned her later she could barely talk for tears, we are planning to have a night with them over the christmas hols. We all know that this road can be bloody lonely and if there is anyway we can make it less so I would like to give it a go.
DH has had his suspisions for some time about this mate (and who am I to argue). I would like to be there for his G/f and him if they need us to be,--- just don't know how to bring it up. I have no intention of outing anybody, but would like them to know that we are here for them without outing my DH to them unnecessarily--- although being honest I think they would be okay with it even if he wasn't a cdr .

Jess

Jess

[Sandra]

Some give it away easy. Sunday night on a service station car park a guy gets out of the car in a short denim skirt, opens the back door and leans in the car showing stocking tops and knickers :eek: all I can say is it's a good job that he wasn't wearing a thong. :puke:

I really must have sommat wrong with me because they all seem to show everything to me. Right GGs?

[Kate Simmons]

Guess you are just a "CD chick magnet" Sandra (whatever that means). Don't mind me, it's early and I only had one coffee.:heehee: :happy: Ericka Kay

[Veronica P]

Too Funny!

[Karren H]

You can't tell a crossdresser from the male counterpart......Ok maybe 1 out of 100 but only if he has femmed up his male appearence... I have have a crossdressing friend that you would never guess in a million years he dresses.... And I saw another guy in the store yesterday that was looking at skirts..... who knows?

Karren

[Sheila]

Sandra
:OMG: :rofl: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[Jennaie]

Your question is (how do you spot a cd when he is not dressed), I don't think it's possible unless he chooses to give you signs.

If you met me you would think, 100% male when I am not dressed. If I want to give you signs, I do so in ways that I think any cd would recognize. The problem is, when you give these signs most people make a joke of it, perhaps in defense of their own knowlege of the subject.

Example: Expressing a knowlege of women's clothing, makeup, srs, hrt, or any other area of information that a normal male would have no knowlege of.

When you express this information in front of someone who is a cd, I believe they get quiet in hurry, worried that you may be on to them.

So how do you get through to them without totally outting yourself in the process? I don't know.

I was in a convenience store a few months ago and very attractive and tall young woman walked in. A male who was about 5'11" stood next to her and ask her how tall she was. I looked down and said, (She's about 5'7" without those 4" slingbacks). I immediately thought to myself, oh crap, I just outted myself. If I had heard any other male say that I would have thought to myself, he has to be a cd to know what slingbacks are. She looked at me and smiled, saying, he is right, I'm 5'7".

[kaitlin]

Hello, CDR ???????

[JAMIE2809]

You can't tell a crossdresser from the male counterpart......Ok maybe 1 out of 100 but only if he has femmed up his male appearence... I have have a crossdressing friend that you would never guess in a million years he dresses.... And I saw another guy in the store yesterday that was looking at skirts..... who knows?

Karren

I LOVE X-MAS IT'S GREAT YOU CAN BUY ANYTHING. THIS IS MY 2ND TIME ON HERE.I LOOK 4 YOUR STUFF ALL THE TIME.GOTTA GO HAVE FUN ON YOUR TRIP.JAMIE2809 :p :p

[JAMIE2809]

Hello, CDR ???????
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I LIKE YOUR TOES::D