Ways to sublimate the desire

[danam]

Due to an intense fear of getting caught, I overcame the desire to cross dress by writing fantasy stories about doing it. Did it for years. I have TONS of them.

The theme of the stories is consistently this: A normal man forced against his will to assume a feminine body and lifestyle. I continually revised them so that they read well, imitating the style of my favorite authors.

Does anyone else have a way of sublimating this desire?

[linnea]

Mostly, I just think about the times that I am able to dress and enjoy my femininity--and practice patience! It's very difficult sometimes, of course.

[Glenda58]

Fear of getting caught not going to happen. I fear not being able to dress and go out. To old to worry about something I have no control over ( what other people think ). Live for today tomorrow may never come.

[susiegrl19]

I threw fear to the wind along time ago

[DonnaT]

Due to an intense fear of getting caught, I overcame the desire to cross dress by writing fantasy stories about doing it. Did it for years. I have TONS of them.

I've written several TG fiction stories, but not to sublimate my dressing.

Question for you, if you overcame the desire to cross dress, why are you crossdressed in you Avatar?

[Penny]

Years ago, I did take up the guitar to sublimate crossdressing. But unfortunately, I was still out of tune.

:hugs:

Penny

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Years ago, I did take up the guitar to sublimate crossdressing.


I play guitar but it's not the same thing...IMO Good for relaxing and time out, but, give me stockings & heels...The your likely to get the response of "what guitar?"


hugs

x

beckii

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno Dana, I did this for awhile myself. I thought it would do as you say--sublimate the desire. After reading and re-reading what I wrote, however, I wanted to "dress Up" even more. I think if you are reading it like that, it becomes even more of a fantasy. I've found that there is no substitute for the real thing. It keeps me grounded and realistic. Besides, no one(real or imagined) is going to "force" me to dress or anything like that. This is totally my choice and always will be. I wouldn't be able to be myself otherwise.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Kieron Andrew]

Question for you, if you overcame the desire to cross dress, why are you crossdressed in you Avatar?
i was actually thinking that but didnt like to say, but now you have i agree

[Angie G]

some times my wife babysits so Ican't put on a skirt or dress and I don't dress on eekend for her but when not at work I"ve got panties on so no need to supplement :hugs:
Angie

[Raychel]

I just spent a week on vacation, No crossdressing, No physical contact form my wife. Just spent a week being an old guy. Peter shriveled up and went to sleep. Desire to dressup was not an issue. So if I get it all totally out of my mind I guess I can make it go away. Writing stories for me would only intensify the desire. And I have to say that I like it so why would I want to change it.

[Thora]

Sublimate? Why? It'l only end in sorrow.

BE that beautiful tans-woman you are. You don't have to be full time if you don't want. But if you are trans, you cannot be no-time. You'll hurt yourself.

BE that beautiful trans-woman you are. You don't have to be forced to have a good life. Have that good life anyway.

BE that beautiful trans-woman you are. Because you are, and you are beautiful for it.

[JenniferR771]

So...where can we read the stories?

[Diana West]

I prioritize, not sublimate. Dressing takes time and focus. If I don't have both, then I'm not about to do it.
Hey, I've got a lot going on. I can't let one interfere with the other.
I do try to incorporate. Panites underneath or my latest is to wear mascara. I naturally have long lashes and no one has mentioned my lashes yet.


So...where can we read the stories?

[Calliope]

A normal man forced against his will to assume a feminine body and lifestyle.

So 'assuming a feminine body and lifestyle' is essentially not normal?

Force?

Most CDs and TGs go through hell on earth for the pleasure of dressing.

Grrrr!!

[Gretchen]

Since I am in the closet totally, I seem to have little trouble in remembering that there is a time and a place for everything. I try not to push my dressing into short and risky time frames, where chances of discovery is far greater. It also helps me to work at establishing a good and reasonable balance between male and female aspects of my life. I enjoy my male self and the things that go with that role including the drab clothing, responsibilities and family, but must admit the anticipation of the next available dressing time is not far off my radar scope and can be activated with very little effort.
One thing that helps me even things out between my male and CD activities is the knowledge that the urge will never go away and that in itself is a comfort. It helps me practice discipline/patience with far less frustration and tension.
Gretchen

[TeriAnn]

Window shopping? Ok drinking? Erm sleeping? ....Nope, ain't gonna happen. I guess I'll have to live with this;) I'm a crossdresser and damn proud of it!

Celsa

I secound that emotion

[Marla S]

Does anyone else have a way of sublimating this desire?

Sublimating ... hm, not exactly writing stories, but I tried to redirect it onto my ex for a while.
'When I am not allowed to wear these closes she could'. So I started sewing clothes that I liked for her and tried to change her style in a way I'd like to see me. This hasn't been a good idea at all, but one might call it sublimating.

From these day on I wonder why there are so many male fashion designers for women's clothes.
They can't all be self-forgetful servants of beauty and feminity.
Either they create feminity to please themselves or they are sublimating something :heehee:

[Joy Carter]

Drove me nuts for years trying to fight the big D. But ya know it's not that important as it once was. I have accepted myself, gotten acknowledgment (not acceptance) from the wife and I have gone out once so far. I'm finally at peace with myself.


Be Good To Your Self
Joy Carter:hugs:

[DonnaT]

So...where can we read the stories?

http://www.fictionmania.com/enter.html

http://www.storysite.org/

Just look for the author Donna Williams

[Alice Torn]

Danam, Thank you for you honesty, and being unafraid to speak your mind. Every one of us is different, yet similar, in ways. Some have religious, spiritual conflicts, about cd'ing, and cultural issues, and family issues. Human beings are very complex, and adaptable creatures, and most use very little of their awesome mind capacities, and creativity. None of us, have exactly walked in another's path in life. I am sure there are probably some crossdressers, who have ended their lives, over shame. I tend to go on binges, in the closet. Once, I went on a three day binge, out in public, with a too small wig, that did not help me look passable, but the rest of me looked maybe almost! I did find, that I had severe depression, , and mental lapses, and a lot of accidents, and anger bursts. I find, that when I did it too often, it was not so fun, but, when I seldom, like once every three months, it is more thrilling. Lately, I have not made any money, am looking for survival work, in survival mode, have not dressed up.. Food, and shelter, survival, are what i am concerned with now. Cd'ing is on a back burner. I know how thrilling it is, but when surviving is at issue, priorities change. I have this eerie feeling, that, soon, more terror attacks, and natural disasters bigtime, are going to hit the U.S, U.K. and Canada. I know how thrilling dressing up is, but, even it, goes on the back burner, when things get too tough. I may sound nuts, to most of you, but thanks for the freedom to share. Lucille

[danam]

Thanks for the replies. What a great forum!

I'm cross-dressed in my avatar because it is really, really satisfying to see myself out in public, in this limited form. Call it another type of sublimation. I am a long, long way off from going out in public in the flesh! So the avatar feels like a healthy first step.

And I guess my stories didn't quite sublimate the desire. But, I can say, I got several good years out of it. Besides, its giving me more ideas for additional stories.

I'll check into the story sites that people mentioned, as I get time. Busy, busy these days!!

[danam]

One thing that helps me even things out between my male and CD activities is the knowledge that the urge will never go away and that in itself is a comfort. It helps me practice discipline/patience with far less frustration and tension.
Gretchen

Thank you, Gretchen. I'm realizing now that it will never go away.

[Kate Simmons]

Thank you, Gretchen. I'm realizing now that it will never go away.Just remember, you are never alone with this Dana and we are not going anywhere.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Lilith Moon]

For domestic reasons, the familiar SO story that many of us know too well :( , I've been in a dry period for some time and it hurts like hell.

I'm self-employed developing Shareware and I've been keeping busy for the last month or so with a new product. Intense concentration dulls the pain somewhat but I just know that when my current project is finished, it will be back with a vengeance.

[danam]

I'm self-employed developing Shareware and I've been keeping busy for the last month or so with a new product.

If you're self employed, you can work from home, which means that you can work while dressed up(?) I've fantasized about doing that...of course, this is not good for concentration. :eek:

[Karren H]

I satisfy my desires to dress by .......dressing like a girl!! Works great!! And getting caught is over rated!! In the scheme of things!! :)

Love Karren

[janedoe311]

Second Life. I am a stripper in a club. Get to flurt and play the female to the hilt. Lots of fun.

[danam]

This has been a whirlwind week---although I have made great progress on this forum, I am still sublimating. My technique? Digital photography.

When I was a kid, all we had was film. And there was NO WAY I was going to risk another human being seeing my pictures. So I never got to see myself very well while dressed up. Mirrors are great, sure, but pictures tell so much more...

Digital photography has been a godsend. I can take a hundred pictures in the short time I have available to CD, and then safely view them later on the computer, in drab mode, when the wife and kids are in another room. I can enjoy myself with MUCH LESS fear of getting caught.

Sure, the files are on the hard drive, and there are caches, etc, but I'm being careful in that regard.

No, getting caught won't be the end of the world. I'm confident my SO will understand. However, all things being equal, I'd rather just avoid that conversation for as long as possible. After all, by engaging in CD, I am all that more excited by the female body and, quite possibly, a better lover. It makes me appreciate her curves even more, because I can't have them. I digress....

Anyway, the digital camera has been my best friend when it comes to sublimating the CD desire!!!

[sindey]

Sometimes i can go for quite a while without dressing, but i get a lot of urges, so i just tell myself if i wait it will be all the better!

[VicSecret]

Thanks for the link to the story sites :love: I had forgotten all about those, and will enjoy reading again.

[Josephine56]

Hi Gurls,
I'm old and big, so to look a lot younger, the Girly thing is the only way. Total privacy is a prerequisite, so time alone has to be the only opportunity.
I've read the contributions with pleasure and it's good to think that there are a lot of like minded people out there.
The digital/computer age has brought us all together...isn't it great!
Editing and sharing pictures is one method of expression which now gives me great pleasure. Certainly the privacy conferred on one by the storeage on disk of relevant images is wonderful, and I'm glad it happened before I got too old to enjoy it.
In a way I envy those younger 'passable' amongst us, who can venture out in the flesh. That must be THE greatest turn-on.
Meanwhile I keep my little secret to myself, and all you members, of course.

[Lilith Moon]

In a way I envy those younger 'passable' amongst us, who can venture out in the flesh. That must be THE greatest turn-on.
Meanwhile I keep my little secret to myself, and all you members, of course.

Your avatar looks fine to me, great smile. I think that you could pass...at least as well as those wonderful girls who share their passing experiences with us. :love: