It won't go away.

[Jenni B]

Here we are again, winter time when Jenni wants to come out more.

And here we are again, the weekend when i have so many things i need to do.

You see i'm a motorcyclist, biker (part time aswell, fairweather rider) call them what you will and i have missied out on a ride today, yet again because i had the need to dress a bit this morning.

If i had a choice i would rather not do what i do, i find it just keeps getting in the way.

:mad: Well heres to another messed up weekend. You can tell i'm on my way down can't you?

I know or i feel most of you are happy with your situation and i am more than happy with the way i can look en femme but i want it to stop.

I sit here typing this with glazed eyes and i dont want to upset anyone but you really are a good crew to be with:love:

[Kate Simmons]

Only you know who you want to be and where you want to go with it Jenni. You just need to get in touch with your real feelings and ask yourself some honest questions. Only then will you know how to proceed. Balance isn't easy and takes a lot of hard work. I know. We are all different though and only you know what is best for yourself. I suggested to someone a while ago to generate a list of pros and cons. It may help you to see what you are up against but you have to be honest with yourself. In the meantime, don't worry, you are not alone and even grown men are allowed to cry, especially men like us.:happy: :love: Ericka Kay

[JulieCDorlando]

Hello,
I do understand your reasons for wanting to quit CDing. I too want the same thing. Often we fall into the temptation of dressing because it gives of many pleasurable delights. Its easier of us humans to do the pleasurable things in life and forsake the other things we do need to do. If we that do CD do not keep our dressing at arms length, our urges will run us over like a run away beer truck. All of us have choices, or decisions. It is what we choose to do rather than what we have to do. The saying the mind is willing but the flesh is weak certainly can be applied in this. Like any other pleasure we abuse, over eating, smoking, drinking etc we have to gather some disipline and set our priorities. Dressing will be here, always. Most of us can dress when we like. As easy as it might seem, we have to keep the dressing part at arms length in our lives, and learn to balance that along with everything else. With the lies, deceit, guilt, dissapointment over the crossdressing I want to leave it all. Sadly I have come to the realization that will not happen. I am learning about balancing this along with all other things to what ever other pleasures I enjoy(family, friends, other hobbies). If I can not completely stop this I can control on when, where, how CDing can take place. :2c:

[ronda]

there is no reason for one thing to get in the way of the other. you have learn to do what you want an then dress when you get back home or the next day. i wear my panties and bra under my drab so i have both sides happy. i can tell you this the desire to dress will not go away it will always be there. you can say this who i am and live with it or drive your self crazy trying not to dress. JUST BE YOUR SELF.:hugs: :love: Ronda

[Bethanygirl]

No, it won't go away. Quit feeling blue, and deal with it in a positive manner. If the urge is strong, use anticipation of release to make it exciting. Next time go riding, or whatever, and promise yourself to make the time for dressing especially nice, maybe buy yourself something new, an inexpensive accessory, then plan a time to build a whole outfit around it. The anticipation and the thoughts about what you have you can mix and match for the perfect look will highten your appreciation when you finally can make time for dressing. You can't stop it, but you can come to terms with it. Good luck!
:love:

[Kieron Andrew]

under dress whilst motorcycling????

[Angela E.]

Trust me,the urge to dress will not go away no matter what,and it`s probably more harmful to fight it than accept it.I consider it a gift, not a curse.I hope you come to terms with what you are.Remember,you have plenty of company.I know it`s not easy for some, but believe me it`s not going to go away.Stop feeling guilty and enjoy being a girl.:hugs: Angela.:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :GE: :daydreaming: :daydreaming: :daydreaming:

[Kimkandy]

You see i'm a motorcyclist, biker (part time aswell, fairweather rider) call them what you will and i have missied out on a ride today, yet again because i had the need to dress a bit this morning.

So why can't you ride motorcycle's en femme? kill two birds with one stone.

Kim

:dom: :la:

[marie354]

There are a lot of nice leather outfits for you... Just check the bike shops, some of them, Harley and others, have some really nice clothing. Then get on your scoot and ride baby, ride!

[MJ]

hi Jenni
why not go riding en-femme. my friend Michelle does it all the time.
i hope she never reads this but she looks pretty hot as a bicker chick...:happy:
so why not try this find a sexy biker outfit and try it..
hugs Marissa

[Billie1]

Jenni, I've had the same situation happen to me, and you're right it can really mess up a day or weekend.

I live in a cold-weather climate, and the riding season here (a good one) may last from March to November. As soon as winter (and road salt) puts an end to it, it seems like an eternity 'til the bike(s) get out again. I call it PMS, or Parked Motorcycle Syndrome. Things do look rather bleak during this time. My first question would be, do you think that this may be the case? If so, than that would seem a perfectly normal reaction to losing something you enjoy very, very much. And yes, anger and frustration would be part of the mix, and we would look for something to "blame".

Speaking for myself, I am very passionate about my motorcycles and my CDing. I have missed a few great rides where dressing was part of the equation. With this, I am assuming that you have some latitude, or freedom in your choice of activities. Myself, I have limited time to enjoy both, due to family (no, I don't do side-cars) and other commitments. So when the oppurtunity arises for either, I put great value on that time. So, I enjoy it to the max, without guilt or regret.

I believe that my CDing is 'hard-wired' into my personality, and that it is not going to simply 'go away'. To wit, I try my best to put it into perspective, balance my lifestyle the best I can, and realize that I also have an obligation to fulfill the responsibilities that I have freely taken on, as a family person and head of household. We are all blessed (or cursed) with free will, and as Mick said, "You can't always get what you want ... But if you try real hard, you get what you need." I hope that you can find that happy medium, where the guilt can be shed away, and the enjoyable aspects can be maximized.

I certainly hope that this is just a case of "PMS", and you'll enjoy a happy holiday.:balloons:

[Diana West]

I'm sorry but I don't see a problem.
Your choices were to dress en femme or ride your cycle. Both are pleasures.
Now if you didn't go to work because you wanted to dress, or if you neglected your family because you wanted to dress or if you let your house fall into disrepair because you wanted to dress or if you stopped eating because you wanted to dress, then you'd have a problem.
But the choice of which would I have more fun?
Not a problem.
(Besides, why can't you ride en femme????)

[Peggy55]

I wonder what it is that makes people like us be compelled to dress to the point of, dare I say it, obsession? I agree with you and also I'm with you in that I have impacted other things I must do to spend time dressing up as well. I love doing it don't get me wrong. It feels good and I get a lot of enjoyment out of it. But I wonder what unfullfilled need makes one want this, desire this all the time????

Perggy

[ebony]

There are days I wake up and wish that I wasn't the way. I love being a man But then being a woman is just so much fun so I leaned how to balance it out. I have a woman that accepts it and Im gradually moving it on to my peers. My eyebrows, belly, nose, and ear piercings, with all my bracelets and ainklets is hard to hide so I learned how to be femme while still in drab when Im in drab. I wrecked my bike last year and If i was last year what I am this year I wouldnt of missed a ride for shit in the world. Good luck.

[Jenni B]

Thanks for all the replies.

Although i have been back to the board today i haven't managed to post cos someone keeps turning up at the house, not that that bothers me, i just want to have quality time here.

Well, i like that one billie, PMS, parked motorcycle syndrome, that did make me laugh.

You have all had some valid points. What i would like to say is, although you would think where your femme items under your bikeing leathers seems the right idea there is always the possibility of being knocked of your bike.
As we know its not useally the bikers fault. sorry mate i didn't see you and all that.

Also i have actually tried this riding en femme under my leathers but as soon as i put on my PH over my shaved legs, well thats it, my mind is of in a different direction then. Even if i managed to get past this point. The lining of the leather jeans has the same feeling as a lined skirt, ah bliss.

No sorry its just not gonna work. I need mi concentration for the road.

As to the the other part i dont think i will be comfortable with who i am and so the battle will go on like it has for the last thirty odd years.

Love, Jenni B xx

[Huntress]

J.B.
I've been out twice in the last few weeks on the Duc, & the R1. The adrenaline was up there with a HALO jump. Guys & girls go gaga, when they see a "chick":eek: :D on a hotted-up sportbike. Black leather jeans, ladie's Dainese jacket, knee high 1 1/2" platform boots w/spikes (practice this, young one), Full sweater kitties, and girlie bits, Arai RX7 w/gold visor. I still minded my P's & Q's, and avoided all Volvos, Ol' men in Cadillacs, soccer moms, lawyers in Beemers, etc. If you do dress and ride. Be sure you do some intelligent planning ahead of time with good fallback positions.
Ride Safe!

Huntress

[Tracey Montreal]

Being Cd has never been much of a problem for me- I keep my two identities completely separate... the guy is all guy and the girl is allll girl ... makes getting dressed in the morning easier too.... Trace.

[Delila]

If it helps when I would go out to ride my motorcycle I would still wear panties and a bra as well as fem gloves under my biker gloves. This was the way that I could manage the best of both worlds. There are plenty of women who ride bikes and their clothing options dont affect them why should it bother you.

[Lanore]

Hello Jenni
Trying to stop CDing will cost you money. How? You'll keep throwing your fem stuff out and when the urge comes, and it will, you'll go out and buy more. I feel the female inside of you, as with all of us, wants to be a part of your life. Over time you'll learn how to accept her and all of the things you enjoy doing. Trust me, it's better to let Jenni have her time than keep her hidden away beating at the door. I also agree with you that this place is a great place to visit. It's my little island with my girlfriends.

Lanore

Lanore

[Jenni B]

I never have had purges, where i've thrown my stuff out just to start collecting again, i knew it would always come back.

Where i've wasted plenty of money is by having plenty of five minute fads.
more hobbies than i can remember, and what was it all for? Just to keep my mind occupied.

Anyway its won today, i've had to give in, Jenni is fully here.


Jenni B xx

[occdresser]

Here we are again, winter time when Jenni wants to come out more.

And here we are again, the weekend when i have so many things i need to do.

You see i'm a motorcyclist, biker (part time aswell, fairweather rider) call them what you will and i have missied out on a ride today, yet again because i had the need to dress a bit this morning.

If i had a choice i would rather not do what i do, i find it just keeps getting in the way.

:mad: Well heres to another messed up weekend. You can tell i'm on my way down can't you?

I know or i feel most of you are happy with your situation and i am more than happy with the way i can look en femme but i want it to stop.

I sit here typing this with glazed eyes and i dont want to upset anyone but you really are a good crew to be with:love:

i love dressing up but i wish i could quit to. i can not! p.s. good portrait

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

I understand exactly how you feel. I am having a lot of trouble accepting "all of me". I've been CDing for the best part of 40 years on and off, and I would rather I didn't. I wish that I could give you some info on how to get your life in balance AND be happy....but I can't.

I know that a huge part of the problem is the irresistable urge to dress, and when I have that, then I am miserable until I am dressed, and then I don't think I'm ever happier. Then on reflecting on being dressed, it all seems so silly, so "unnecessary". Yes, I'd rather have my mind occupied by riding my bike, rather than purchasing some "clothes", but that happens less and less these days, and I don't know why either. It's insane, how much time I think about dressing, but that is maybe because right now, I'm not.

Anyway, good luck and sorry I don't have the answer...just some empathy.

[Jenni B]

Jane, you've just said it all for me.

Sometimes i have problems trying to capture what i want to type and say on here, but i get by.

That said it all for me.


Thanks,

Jenni B xx

:hugs: to you all

[Alice Torn]

//Jane, and Jennie, I share your struggles, and conflict. To be conflicted, seems to be the human condition. Johnny Cash, was called, "a walking contradiction". I have had urges to dress up, since childhood. I have the added conflict, of religon, which condemns cd'ing, and all sexual related activity outside of heterosexual marriage. I have always wanted a well matched gg mate, but, after 52 years, an still a poor bachelor. One reason, I dress up every few months, is to enjoy what it would be like to be the woman, I have always desired./ I am working to be a better man, making myself a possibility for a right woman, but, it seems kue guys aren't loved, or needed anymore, and girls are having all the fun! I can empathize with you, and with the church I am with, which teaches wonderful things, and the hope, of a whole new world coming, yet, condemns cd'ing, I also am conflicted. However, I accept, that the desire never totolly goes away. I do it less often now, once every noth or two, and, it is more pleasurable, when done less, for me, at least. Lucille