theory about cross dressing

[jessica duprea]

I believe one theory could be that the need to cross dress stems from the lack of female affection and admiration when we where Young and maybe even as adults for those who started late in life.

I cross dressed because it made me feel attractive, sexy, and complete.
My cross dressing filled a void and made me feel like I was normal yet the act wasn't or is it?
I believe it is possible that under these conditions, where you long to be found attractive by the very thing you admire more than life, only to be found lacking in there eyes, sends you deep inside your self where your only way to be loved or to feel there affection is to become the woman you so desire to be with.

I believe it is possible that our desires are turned inward and cross dressing is a natural state created by a troubled hart and mind, the human mind is capable of any thing even gender redirection.

I believe it is possible that this is the result of a normal brain at work trying to cope with an unfortunate situation.

Why do i believe this is possible? Because I went through countless rejections and cruel words from girls I really liked and would have done any thing for.
I had no one and it was hell.

just a thought

[Leslie Foxx]

It's that nurture vs nature thing. I think it may be hard wired, but some of what you bring up could well be the tipping point that turns the circuit "on."

[Peggy55]

Here's a link I found that has some intresting things to say on the subject.

http://www.mindspring.com/~karen.anne.taylor/contents.html

Peggy

[rickwi25]

For me, in my teens, I was not getting close to girls in a physical sense. The easiest way for me to do that, and in my mind the next best thing, was to sexualize womens clothes and to wear them.

[ArleneRaquel]

There are many reasons for what we do, but I think Jessica is basically right. I know that what she says rings true here. I may have already been "wired ", but to go 24/ 7, as I have that " wire " needed to be tripped. I believe that my wife's death had something to do with it. Perhaps as a way to cope with my depression that followed her death. Also my ill advised ( ? ) attempt for female companionship after her death quickened my path to becoming "Katrina Maureen" Love and Hugs Maureen

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Hi jessica,

Thanks for bring thing great topic to light :)

I've always felt something along the line that you've touched on. (not looking for the sympathy vote) but I had a mother who never showed any affection towards me. Neither did my father for that matter. Our home had no outwardly showing signs of affection, it was sterile, cold as ice.

From as early as I can remember my sister was placed high up on a plateau and she was always the best at everything, as far as my mother was concerned.

Having a 12 year difference in age didn't help either, as there was no way I could possibly compete with that.

I can remember being about 3 ½ - 4 and my sister dressed me up as a little girl and took me down to the shops. Now I can remember very, very clearly that ladies were coming up to me and saying "what a pretty little girl you are". I can also remember that my mother actually fussed over me when my sister showed her what she’d done to me.

Maybe there lays the answer. Maybe I’ve been trying to gain that affection ever since.

I know my mother used find my stashes when I was young, (age of 12 and upwards), my sister was living in London and her wardrobe was packed with clothes an lingerie for the taking, nothing was ever said though.

Fortunately I can talk about this stuff these days. 10 years ago I'd see a mom being affectionate towards her little son or daughter and tears would well and I'd go and get totally smashed. I did a lot of self help and other methods of emotional repairs and now I don't let it rule my life.

My mother is still alive and although I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with her, its been very strained. Presently we’re not talking, again…Thought the other night I thuoght I should simple phone her (she's 87), maybe I will.



hugs

x

beckii

[AmandaM]

I don't know. Until I got married at 30, I had about 25 girlfriends. Didn't seem to lack from female attention.

[Delila]

I dont know if thats really true i had a signifigant female presence and plenty of attention when I was a child all that that seemed to provide was more clothes to wear. I think that there are at least a few of us out there that were definately not lacking in the female attention department. I may be wrong but thats just my opinion.

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

I think it stems back to formative years, or, on the other hand were simply hard wired (coded) that way, maybe both who knows?

Like amanda I certainly had more than my fair share of affectionate g/f's in my teens and adulthood, though, I've never been married & I have no children; my sister isn't married has has no children either, that's spooky :confused2:

Five long term (3 or more years) live together relationships.



hugs

x

beckii

[Ronda_B]

I believe what I once read about the crossdresser, It said that the human is born with both sets of X & Y chromazones and with this said, a crossdresser has a extra Y making the brain think female. Hence my tag line... I think my switch is stuck partly open.

[Delila]

Not to contradict but women have a double x so if you were to be more fem I would think that you might have an extra x chromazome. I read a similar article about the fact that there is a major hormone dump in the womb and if this is off even slightly it can affect the way the brain developes.

[Tracey Montreal]

I think we dress for the same reason women do... looking sexy makes us feel sexy.... Tracey.

[Kate Simmons]

I feel that our femme self is a mental and physiological construct created by ourself by virtue of the fact they we are men. Due to the conditioning and expectations of society, men are expected to think and act in a certain way. From the moment of birth, boys and girls are treated differently. The human species has infinite genetic diversity, however, even within the sexes, so it applies to both sexes. When our inner feelings don't quite "match"how others perceive us we get conflicted when we begin to come to self awareness. Who of us when very young didn't feel just a little "different" from our peers? In essence we reflect our core identity which is uniquely individual. Being true to ourselves is our "built in" prime directive. The outside needs to reflect the inside. We may need to "create"another self in order to manage our feelings. In this way, we can continue to function. Eventually, we may contiue to go on this way, seek to balance our feelings or decide that perhaps we may need to bring our exterior in line with our interior. Self definition is the goal. Only by understanding ourselves and who we are as a person will we ever be truely happy, but not ,it seems, without a struggle. In the end, however, it's well worth the effort.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Penny]

While enviornment may personify crossdressing, I don't believe it is the percipitant. Too many crossdresser have expessed having come from loving homes or homes where none of the other siblings were crossdressers.
The "y" that we are supposed to have is nothing more than being born with the need to feel pretty. For some CDs it the need encompasses nothing more that panties. For others, like myself the need the feel pretty requires complete transformation. This creates a conflict within us because it is contrary what we were taught to think. This conflict fosters shame and guilt. This intern causes us, a males, to try and rationalize what we do rather than simply admit we have this need to feel pretty. We find it difficult to admmit this need to feel pretty because we feel somehow that it makes up less of a man so we allow others (gender brainwashing or in other words what we were taught) to deny us this need. It is amazing to me that we live where we want, work where we choolse but allow society to determine acceptable appearance. What's wrong here?
Incidently, if anyone wishes to come out to their SO, explaining this need to feel pretty is the easiet way. A woman may not understand crossdressing but she can relate to feeling pretty. Most women are made to feel this way at an early age and certainly have felt it on special occasions such as proms and weddings.:2c:

:hugs:

Penny

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

I've long forgot about the need to rationalise (to myself) my need to dress.

I think, well for me, when I hit the big 40 everything that mattered, didn't at the point. Now I'm 45 there are a lot of things I'd simple break sweat doing in my 30's and earlier that doesn't even phase me these days.

Why I eventually did hairdressing above being a vet, or why I luv chocolate and not capers...who knows!

I think in most cases finding a reason is human nature, but, in my case I really don't care anymore. I am who I am and I really like myself these days :)



hugs

x

beckii

PS I also wanted to add, that I've learned a lot thru beckii's eyes, I've seen and experienced a lot thru my male persona too, still, no matter if I'm in a frock or grungy jeans it really doesn't matter. What does matter, is who I am, my compassion & empathy towards others and my general outlook towards the world; the town;the community, I live in & the people I come into contact with. And of course the total love I hold for my SO.

The rest, it's just an illusion.

[Brianne_bc]

I can realte to a lot of this... lack of female attention or touching even from my mother. Im happy with how I turned out... I really enjoy corssdressing... I love it. ill never give it up.... For what ever reason I dont care... I love both my male side and my female side

[Chiana]

I am no expert on anyone else's crossdressing. So I guess I would have to admit that It is possible that external influences can have an effect on ones desire to dress or not, as the case may be. But I am an expert on myself and I can assure you, this has always been my decision. My desire. My passion. My need. I admit that I have had the thought or fantasy of someone forceing me to dress up. "It's not my fault, they made me do it." Let me make this perfectly clear, I am not speaking for or about anyone else. This is just about me. That fantasy was a not so subtle attempt from my teen years to rid myself of the responsibilty of my crossdressing. But I know in my heart that I dress because it is me. Always has been. Always will be.

[Kate Simmons]

Good point Penny, I have that need. It's about feeling good about ourselves. Becky has the right attitude. Accept it and enjoy being yourself. We don't an "excuse" to be who we are. We do need to be comfortable with it though and many of us have realized that and accepted it.:happy: Ericka

[Alice Torn]

J, All of the comments, are true for each commenter. I totally agree, with you. I was rejected by girls, and women I loved, for many, many years, and, one who did like me, killed herself. At 52, I am a virgin yet, wanted to marry several gals, but was too poor, to support a wife. In my family, sex was taboo topic, and I was told by teachers, that skin was sin. I was afraid of girls, shy, and made a fool of myself, trying to get to know them. Today, I have women friends, almost all, senior citizens, who don't want me, as anything but a friend. I have crossdressed, to be the woman I could never have, or marry, and feel, like I am with her, when dressed up, but always feel some of the guilt, and shame. I missed out, on marriage, and sex, and family, and use crossdressing, as that part of life, I was denied, a coping mechanism. However, I seldom crossdress, lately. Doing it only once in a while, makes it more thrilling. Lucille

[Amanda Shaft]

Hi everyone. Over the years I have asked myself this same question, but have reached the conclussion that it doesn't really help much to know why. Infact in some ways for me it feels like making a justification for something that is just as much a natural part of me as my sense of humour or my moral values. I don't have to justify why I laugh at something or feel the need to understand why! I enjoy dressing as a women and for me that means the whole hog: passing (if I can) rather than being a 'bloke in drag', which probably says something about my perfectionist traites as much as anything!

One last thought though: my female persona feels like an echo, like a spirit or a fleating glimpsed reflection. Something there but not quite whole, could it be its the remnence of something that was or a prelude of something that will be?

We are what we are and as long as that harms no one then do what you do and enjoy it! and hope against hope for better luck next time! Amanda

[JenniferMint]

I've never had a serious girlfriend.

When I'm dressed en femme and I see my reflection in my balcony window at night and see a somewhat cute girl looking back at me, I find it kind of exciting. Too bad I can't really interact with her.

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Ok here is a curve ball :D

I like to read, I used to do it a lot, no authors in particular & not only certain subjects either. Anything that was interesting or invoked a deep & meaningful exercise in thought process was a worthy piece a literature.

Maybe 5 years or so ago, I gained an interest is past lives and transcendental meditation (see there is that trans word again)...lol

I've never been one for religion, though forced to attend Sunday school when I was young.

Although I do believe in a higher power, I'm not so caught up in it that I fear reading alternative literature is going to see me cast into the bowel of purgatory either.

I waffle on :heehee:

I read an article that brought the subject of past lives into focus and the studies conducted regarding the fore mentioned topic.

Not that I agree or disagree for that matter, but, I've always kept an open mind. Obviously this also touches on the belief of reincarnation, hence, it may not be everyone's cup of tea. Still it was very thought provoking and something I some times ponder to this day.


hugs

x

beckii

[Deanna2]

I always thought CDing was a practical activity. What's with all these theoretical issues?

[danam]

I think its hard-wired in the brain. I had the desire as a 3-year-old, if you'd believe that. And I'm otherwise a normal male in daily life.

I consider it a way of worshiping the female body. Because, after all, female is the default human sex. As a male, our role is to worship females. Cross-dressing is another method for doing that. At least, that's what I tell myself so I can feel better about it.

[Mistybtm]

Here's a link I found that has some intresting things to say on the subject.

http://www.mindspring.com/~karen.anne.taylor/contents.html

Peggy

I read it and it was great thanks for the info.
Mistybtm

[Lilith Moon]

Here's a link I found that has some intresting things to say on the subject.

http://www.mindspring.com/~karen.anne.taylor/contents.html

Peggy

....and another thank you from me. I don't have hours to spare right now but I've bookmarked it for later.

My take on this...I also felt rejected by girls in my teens and dressing was a sort of act of solace...an alternative way to get close to femininity. Like many here I also went through troubled periods with those close to me. In particular, almost as soon as I was able to think for myself I was at odds with my mother. We were never close, even when she was dying there was a gulf between us.

All of these things, I feel, were a result of my already ambiguous gender. For example, how many teenagers would even consider cross-dressing to console themselves when they couldn't pull the girls ? In hindsight I recognise that many of my feelings of alienation from my parents and their reactions to my being "different" stem partly from the fact that I was adopted but also to my gender issues.

Like many here, I have memories of trying to appear female before any of these life experiences happened and long before I knew that I was "different". I have vivid memories of standing up in my high sided cot with my sheets draped around me, doing little dances and watching myself in the mirror pretending I was a little princess. Then I remember a few years later being acutely embarrassed at having my photograph taken standing next to my younger cousin in her new party dress. Why ? Well, I wanted to be the one wearing that dress and was very excited at even being close to it. By that time I had learned that boys don't wear pretty dresses and was acutely ashamed at my desires. I must have been around 7-8 years old then. I recently found that photograph with me scowling at the camera...if only they had known...

I believe that, for me, I was born like this and the rest followed on.

[myMichelle]

I feel that our femme self is a mental and physiological construct created by ourself by virtue of the fact they we are men. Due to the conditioning and expectations of society, men are expected to think and act in a certain way. From the moment of birth, boys and girls are treated differently. The human species has infinite genetic diversity, however, even within the sexes, so it applies to both sexes. When our inner feelings don't quite "match"how others perceive us we get conflicted when we begin to come to self awareness. Who of us when very young didn't feel just a little "different" from our peers? In essence we reflect our core identity which is uniquely individual. Being true to ourselves is our "built in" prime directive. The outside needs to reflect the inside. We may need to "create"another self in order to manage our feelings. In this way, we can continue to function. Eventually, we may contiue to go on this way, seek to balance our feelings or decide that perhaps we may need to bring our exterior in line with our interior. Self definition is the goal. Only by understanding ourselves and who we are as a person will we ever be truely happy, but not ,it seems, without a struggle. In the end, however, it's well worth the effort.:happy: Ericka Kay

:iagree: Very well said. Very true. This is the kind of insight that can only be offered by another crossdresser...

[Peggy55]

What makes CD'ing practicle?

Just curious........


I always thought CDing was a practical activity. What's with all these theoretical issues?

[Kate Simmons]

What makes CD'ing practicle?

Just curious........Not sure it's practical Peggy. It is a hell of a lot of fun though.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Jesse69]

I turned to crossdressing because I've had bad experiences with women. I'm attractive enough to get girls, but I had a bad experience in high school in relation to dating. So far I've never had a steady girlfriend. Maybe I should give them a try again but they'll have to allow my crossdressing.

[Aprilrain]

I have had my fair share of love and attention from women my whole life. My mother spoiled me when i was a child. I have two older sisters who were good to me. My father was a little harsh back then but spoils me rotten now (I'm 30). I've been rejected by some girls and loved by others, I have done the same. Most of my best friends are women. All of my significant girlfriends knew i liked to wear womens clothes but none of them, until my wife, knew to what extent. They have all been excepting. My Biggest problem with being a CDder has always been me until recently. I don't know why i do it other than it feels right. I know i cant stop believe me I've tried. At this point I don't think i would if i could. I do understand the deep desire to “know why” but have since let go of it, it is a never ending road to nowhere “why, why, why” like my dad use to say “because i said so thats why”.

Anyway heres one for the theory lover's. We CDder are simply one of the millions of genetic mutations that just happen, Natural selection has not weeded us out because we are one of those rare mutations that is neither good nor bad CDing does not have any effect on are ability to survive and procreate therefor we keep being born and we keep reproducing. Ponder this if you wish. I won't bother.

[michelleceedee]

I disagree almost totally with the position that early enviroment and lack of affection and attension has anything to do with our lifestyle. Most CDs that I have met have been married, or had a positive history with the ladies going back to High School. Most came from loving homes as I did and in my case I lost my virginity at 13 and never lacked for female companionship. I knew when I was 12 that I was different. I just didn't know in what way. I became aware of my bi-sexuality at 16, and continued a series of relationships with both girls and boys. Having tried on some of Mom's lingerie at 10, I was hooked. In my case I feel that crossdressing picked me, I did not pick it. I think as many do that being gay or bi or a variation is with you from birth and is as the saying goes "hard wired" into the brain. Hormone imbalance may also have some bearing since again most of the cds I know, myself included matured young and have very high sex drives. I do think that a lack of affection in a home can exascerbate certain problems but again anecdotally speaking all my CD friends, past and present came from fairly normal homes. I just think its genetic in nature much in the way that a family of all blonde parents and children suddenly produce a child with jet black hair. Darwin had a theory that periodically this happened in nature with animals and you'd get a zebra with no stripes or a palomino horse. Given a choice, I'd prefer to be the palomino-they are prettier than an unstripped Zebra!

[Dee Model]

Not to contradict but women have a double x so if you were to be more fem I would think that you might have an extra x chromazome. I read a similar article about the fact that there is a major hormone dump in the womb and if this is off even slightly it can affect the way the brain developes.
:yt:

If you had an extra Y it would surely make you an ultra alpha male no? Like, I dunno, one of them pumped up body builders with too much testosterone. Or something.

Let's hear it for clarity, not to be pedantic or anything!

[Dee Model]

I've never had a serious girlfriend.

When I'm dressed en femme and I see my reflection in my balcony window at night and see a somewhat cute girl looking back at me, I find it kind of exciting. Too bad I can't really interact with her.

Yeah but you can interact with someone like her ie another CD. Well, that's my intention. I hope I don't get The Fear. Gotta free my mind...and the body will surely follow! To quote Rocky Horror "Give yourself over to absolute pleasure/ Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh"

Except that there and no sins...that's just made up religious dogma to my mind.:hugs:

[Peggy55]

Ultra Alpha Male.....wow that sounds scary!


:yt:

If you had an extra Y it would surely make you an ultra alpha male no? Like, I dunno, one of them pumped up body builders with too much testosterone. Or something.

Let's hear it for clarity, not to be pedantic or anything!

[Dee Model]

J, All of the comments, are true for each commenter. I totally agree, with you. I was rejected by girls, and women I loved, for many, many years, and, one who did like me, killed herself. At 52, I am a virgin yet, wanted to marry several gals, but was too poor, to support a wife. In my family, sex was taboo topic, and I was told by teachers, that skin was sin. I was afraid of girls, shy, and made a fool of myself, trying to get to know them. Today, I have women friends, almost all, senior citizens, who don't want me, as anything but a friend. I have crossdressed, to be the woman I could never have, or marry, and feel, like I am with her, when dressed up, but always feel some of the guilt, and shame. I missed out, on marriage, and sex, and family, and use crossdressing, as that part of life, I was denied, a coping mechanism. However, I seldom crossdress, lately. Doing it only once in a while, makes it more thrilling. Lucille

Ohmygod Lucille, I feel your pain. It brings tears to my eyes.:hugs:

Can't comprehend how you function. I could not live like that. I have to feel something. With women I have always been, thou the winds of change blow and my narcissistic self seeks similar.

[Dee Model]

I feel that our femme self is a mental and physiological construct created by ourself by virtue of the fact they we are men. Due to the conditioning and expectations of society, men are expected to think and act in a certain way. From the moment of birth, boys and girls are treated differently. The human species has infinite genetic diversity, however, even within the sexes, so it applies to both sexes. When our inner feelings don't quite "match"how others perceive us we get conflicted when we begin to come to self awareness. Who of us when very young didn't feel just a little "different" from our peers? In essence we reflect our core identity which is uniquely individual. Being true to ourselves is our "built in" prime directive. The outside needs to reflect the inside. We may need to "create"another self in order to manage our feelings. In this way, we can continue to function. Eventually, we may contiue to go on this way, seek to balance our feelings or decide that perhaps we may need to bring our exterior in line with our interior. Self definition is the goal. Only by understanding ourselves and who we are as a person will we ever be truely happy, but not ,it seems, without a struggle. In the end, however, it's well worth the effort.:happy: Ericka Kay

:yt: Insight, perspective, empathy, understanding. You got all Erika babe! Truelly perspicacious...(my new favourite word), and I don't use it lightly!

PS. Are you rich? Wish I was. I'd...well, I'd do a lot. Anyway, I digress.

[Dee Model]

I believe one theory could be that the need to cross dress stems from the lack of female affection and admiration when we where Young and maybe even as adults for those who started late in life.

I cross dressed because it made me feel attractive, sexy, and complete.
My cross dressing filled a void and made me feel like I was normal yet the act wasn't or is it?
I believe it is possible that under these conditions, where you long to be found attractive by the very thing you admire more than life, only to be found lacking in there eyes, sends you deep inside your self where your only way to be loved or to feel there affection is to become the woman you so desire to be with.

I believe it is possible that our desires are turned inward and cross dressing is a natural state created by a troubled hart and mind, the human mind is capable of any thing even gender redirection.

I believe it is possible that this is the result of a normal brain at work trying to cope with an unfortunate situation.

Why do i believe this is possible? Because I went through countless rejections and cruel words from girls I really liked and would have done any thing for.
I had no one and it was hell.

just a thought

I agree with the above. I also think it would be great to find an answer. But..I have come to the conclusion that there simply isn't one. Much like there isn't an answer to the ultimate question, Of Life, The Universe, And Everything. Or the existance of god. Or faeries. Etc. Whatever.

As for Crossdressing, I think that it is a case of multiple causes yet single effect. In other words, our personal life experiences have driven us down this road. There ain't no singular cause-effect thang goin' on, to my mind.

OK. Let's get serious. This is my :2c: .

It don't even matter why: there ain't no why. It simply is. Deal with it however way you see fit. I used to kill myself about it. I don't now...I love it! You see, to me, it's all about self acceptance.

Religion teaches us, all of us, regardless of faith, to hate ourselves and to love "The Perfect Being" be it God or Allah or whatever else made up nonesense. I reject this as ridiculous, fanciful claptrap. We are taught to perceive ourselves as wrong, impure, evil, sinful(!), bad, not right, etc. How screwed up is that?!!

We, as individuals, need to accept and love ourselves for who we are despite what our moronic society dictates.

Let's get real people! There ain't no "normal"; there ain't no "right way to be" etc. There just simply is: I exist therefore I am. And I deny the right of anyone to judge me...and that includes myself.

For what it's worth, I defer to Iggy Pop in his title track to the film Repo Man "I was a teenage dinosaur, stoned and obsolete/ I didn't get ****ed and I didn't get kissed, I got so ****ing pissed!"

Since then I've had several girlfriends but nothing satifies. Maybe a CD gurl will. I live to find out!

[Miamerica]

I had a normal relationship with my mom and a fair share of girlfriends. Had older brothers, no sisters. I never really felt any different from other kids until I was about 13, which just happens to be about the first time I'd actually had a desire to wear women's clothing.

[Vicky_Scot]

I think we dress for the same reason women do... looking sexy makes us feel sexy.... Tracey.

I believe we are born cd and it is predetermined in the womb as is the colour of our eyes and hair, how tall we will become etc etc.

But if I had to adopt a reason it would definately be Tracy's one.......:heehee:

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Don't know if I mentioned this before, but, as much as CD'ing has caused me some outward embarrassing moments and far great internal struggles over the years, now I'm actually pretty happy I've got it!

Reminds me of that movie 'In & Out'...

'I'm a CD' and be proud of it' and I really don't care about the why, how or when anymore :)



hugs

x

beckii

[Charity's GG]

I have to disagree here. Charity was raised by a very loving mom and had numerous! girlfriends. His relationship with his mom was very good. I think its something that youre born with, its a part of who you are...but thats jsut my :2c: ...Have a good one!:love:

[Karren H]

I don't believe that anyone really knows.....and for that matter who cares...since if you did really know what good would that serve. Wouldn't change anything in your or my life? Right.. Or would you mount a campain to go out and cure or stomp out crossdressing for all future generations??? Knowing something that has no effect on anything is not worth knowing. I don't have enough room in my brain for the suff I NEED to know let alone that!!! hehehe

Love Karren

[JenniferR771]

Anyway heres one for the theory lover's. We CDder are simply one of the millions of genetic mutations that just happen, Natural selection has not weeded us out because we are one of those rare mutations that is neither good nor bad CDing does not have any effect on are ability to survive and procreate therefor we keep being born and we keep reproducing. Ponder this if you wish. I won't bother.[/QUOTE]

Aprilrain, I have thought about this (took Genetics 441 in 1969). Why are there crossdressers if there is no genetic advantage--and indeed probably a genetic disadvantage--as far as procreation of the species?
Possibly there is some hidden advantage coupled with crossdressing--linked to it. Intelligence? Creativity? Strong sex drive?
Take this same theory and apply it to gay men. Reproduction is unlikely. Yet somehow our genetics produce or (allow to happen) gay men at a regular rate. How come? If 7 percent of men are gay--why isn't it 14 percent?

[Kate Simmons]

:yt: Insight, perspective, empathy, understanding. You got all Erika babe! Truelly perspicacious...(my new favourite word), and I don't use it lightly!

PS. Are you rich? Wish I was. I'd...well, I'd do a lot. Anyway, I digress. I'm rich (other than being Richard) on this site with friends if that's what you mean Dee. Couldn't ask for anything more in my opinion. I love the sharing. We are all truely people people here.:hugs: :happy: Ericka Kay

[Diana West]

I'm afraid that theory does not apply to me.
My mother was very caring and I had more than my fair share of girlfriends/lovers. My wife is very loving.
It may explain some, but cannot be applied to all.

Besides, when it comes right down to it, I do because I like it. If I didn't, I wouldn't do it. And I', not worried why I do.

[gennee]

A good question. I was a shy person but I never had problems with women. I guess I wanted to become a complete person. I like women's clothes and wearing them makes me feel feminine.

Gennee

:gorgeous:

[princessmichelle]

I don't want to go into detail, but I will say that there's some truth in this theory -lack of female affection- for me.

I can't speak for anyone else.
And there is certainly evidence that in general there can be pre-natal/fetal causes. So it is a complicated subject.

PM

[Diana West]

I just read another thread here that suggested that the lack of a father figure contributes to the desire to crossdress.
Curiouser and curiouser!

[tekla west]

I'm sure that for every CD that could say "I had a tough time with girls" there are others who could say that they have been 'one of the girl' for a long time. I know some who are not good with relationships, others who are busy setting records.

There is not one reason.

[Calliope]

There is not one reason.

Thus, so many theories.

[tekla west]

And here I thought it was that so many belonged to "The Theory of the Month Club."

I think that most people - CD or not - look to some grand plan, or overarching reason as a way of explaining that "its not my fault." OK, its not your fault, who cares as to why?

[Calliope]

Smash the metanarratives!

[Dee Model]

I'm rich (other than being Richard) on this site with friends if that's what you mean Dee. Couldn't ask for anything more in my opinion. I love the sharing. We are all truely people people here.:hugs: :happy: Ericka Kay

Sorry, Ericka babe. Realised what the 'Rich' part meant only post posting. Just a 'blonde moment'!

[Kate Simmons]

Sorry, Ericka babe. Realised what the 'Rich' part meant only post posting. Just a 'blonde moment'!That's okay Dee. I have those moments a lot regardless of my hair color.:happy: Ericka Kay

[ReginaK]

I was always the shy one who was either picked on by girls or befriended by them. Never had a real girlfriend. So my reason for crossdressing was to be the woman I never had.

[Samantha B L]

I was slow to blend in with the opposite sex.I didn't have a date until I was 20.I had lots of girls that I kind of hung with in Junior High and High School including one that became my GG mentor later on in life.For years I had a lot of frustration that I had been rejected a few times as a teenager and that as an adult I wasn't married.But please,before any of us get into blaming the ladies for any of this,maybe some of us expected the prettiest girls or the foxy ladies that already had boyfreinds to welcome us no questions asked. You know what,I think a life of hetero m to f crossdressing is a lot more fun than being stuck in that 9 to 5 American Ruse.And you never know what life brings.I ran into that High School Freind when I was like 26 and our freindship resumed.She was a mentor to my dressing for years afterward.I think it's something in heredity.A susseptability towards trying to be feminine and loving feminine things.You could always inherit in your genes a suseptability towards soybean farming or anthracite processing. Samantha

[Marcie Sexton]

Personally, I choose not to give it a lot of thought, I did that years ago and managed to put myself in to a deep depression...Needless to say, I over come that...So I'll only say If it feels good and makes you feel good DO IT...:2c:

...and I do feel good and good about myself when dressed...


:D

[Alice Torn]

Jessica, You hit a bullseye. Decades, and decades, of painful rejection by ladies I tried to befriend, especially tall ones, since i am very tall, tore my heart, and mind, to bits, too. I dress up, to be the tall, lovely lady, i could never find, or be wanted by. I was rejected by shorter ladies, also. Only a few short, fat gals, and senior citizens,wanted me, and, i befriended them, but not romantically. Yes, we do have our strange ways of coping with, what i see, as great deprivation, and what i see as emotional torture issues.
Didn't God say, in the beginning, "It is not good for the man to be alone?"
CDing is one way sone of us cope, after tons, and decades of rejection, in a couples oriented society. It may not be true for all on here. Lucille




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[Mary Morgan]

I agree with your supposition, but I would put a different spin on it at least in my case. I believe that for what ever reason, I have always felt that girls/women were more valuable; that being female was a prize to be enjoyed. As a child I vividly remember how my parents behaved around my sister and how they behaved around me. She was a princess who received a lot of attention. I received attention too, but not the kind I wanted. I wanted to be princess as well. So the eternal question remains for me, which came first, the nature or the nurture. At my age it matters little anymore. I love to appear as a woman. I feel more at peace, more relaxed, more the person I always wanted to be. Sad that one must spend a lifetime trying to compensate and to cope, and to hide and yes, even to feel shame and guilt, just because they can't be themselves. Louise

[JoAnnDallas]

I was watching the "Today" show this morning and they were saying the science now has proof that men and women brains are wired differently. This should help with us too. It will help prove that TG people are just as different, we are not perverts, and the belief that this can be cured is not true. Another step in Recognizing us.

[Bernadina]

There are just too many different childhood and adult experiences to allow for a single theory to account for everyone's crossdressing. There is also the consideration that our energy signature has been around a lot longer than our physical signature.

Each and everyone of us, male and female, are part of both genders to varying degrees. It is society that has decreed that the gender lines must not be crossed, not nature.

And science is just beginning to begrudgingly acknowledge some of these things and is just starting to have a clue as to how our mind and brain really works.

If it becomes recognised again, as it has been in past societies, that transgender is a normal state of affairs, maybe we wouldn't have to work so hard to explain why we are the way we are.

[Kate Simmons]

Amen to that Dina. Now let's all relax and enjoy the Hoildays.:happy: Ericka Kay

[jeniinnylons]

Here's something maybe nobody usually thinks of:

I watch Sylivia Brown on Montel on weds. She has said things before about having past lives and that you can change sex from life to life.

Anyone thought that maybe we were a female in a past life and some carried over with us to this life?

[Ranee Daze]

Here's a link I found that has some intresting things to say on the subject.

http://www.mindspring.com/~karen.anne.taylor/contents.html

Peggy

Follow peggy's link and tell me if it isn't the best at defining and explaining terms. I think it would help this forum immesurably if we were to adopt these definitions.

[Kate Simmons]

Here's something maybe nobody usually thinks of:

I watch Sylivia Brown on Montel on weds. She has said things before about having past lives and that you can change sex from life to life.

Anyone thought that maybe we were a female in a past life and some carried over with us to this life?No maybe about it Jenii. I know it for a fact.:happy: EKR