Question for the muture CD's amoung us!

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Hi,

With the introduction of the internet its certainly broadened my outlook and opened up vast great opportunities. More so in the pursuit of friendship & obtaining clothing and what not.

I can remember what it was like pre-internet (very lonely).

I'd be interested to hear what out mature CD'ers did, especially as I'm sure they grew up in an circa when this was not only in the closet but wasn't even mentioned, period.

So girl how did you cope? What did you do to obtain clothing and anything else you'd feel comfortable sharing I'd luv to hear, thank you :)



hugs

x

beckii

[Karren H]

Before the net I was alone....but bought all my clothes locally same as now...and I still crossdress alone. It's just that kind of sport for me.....hehehe

Love Karren

[myMichelle]

I can remember looking through the JC Penny and also the Sears and Roebuck catalogs when I was in high school...If I spotted something I liked, I used to ride my bike home from school and stop by the store's catalog order desk on my way home. I'd give them a fake name and number and have them tell me when my item was expected to come in. I'd make sure to stop by the store again on whatever day my merchandise was supposed to be there. And, of course, I always told the woman behind the counter that the outfit or shoes was a gift for my Mom's birthday, etc.

This was not only pre internet, but it was way before the cell phone era as well, So every single thing I did had to be done in person. That meant that whatever I did involved not only a certain amount of courage, but also involved a whole lot of little white lies! Ah, the good old days...LOL

[Janailene]

It was very different in that you were totally on your own. Here I see gals thanking others for the support giving them the courage to dress, go out, have transformations, and being open about buying your feminine clothes. Back in the 50's to the 80's things were a lot more up to yourself. For me I guess I was quite forward as I purchased my clothing fairly openly - (ie. this dress is for me can I try it on?) Even back then the SA was interested in getting her commission and though a little self conscienous, I would often be accepted. I the 70's I went to Muriel Olive's shop on Lexington Ave in NYC and had make-overs. Would park my car and enfemme walk to her store. I also used to dress alot when a teenager and even took our dog for walks. Ever been asked by your Mom what girl was walking Fido? The neighbors wanted to know.

The biggest difference is back then you had no one to talk to or ask questions. I had no idea what drove me to be a girl or if there were any others in the world. The only person who was covered by the news was Christine Jorgensen who had SRS in Sweeden after serving in the Korean War. Actually I thought that I was also a transexual for years as I did not know the discription of transvestite or crossdresser.

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much on my own and as Popeye would say "Embaraskin". Wore my sunglasses a lot buying stuff (LOL) for my "girlfriend". Always in a different town where nobody would recognize me and ask questions. After I got married, it was mostly mail order and hoping I would beat my wife to the mail box(she knew). Nowadays nobody really cares if you buy femme stuff and at best you get a quizical "Whatever" expression from a SA or a customer waiting in line behind you. Like Michelle said, I kinda miss the old days in some ways. Felt like I was on a "secret mission" or something. I guess I was really.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Angie G]

Beckii started using the net about the same time I came out to me wife a little over a year ago before that I had no one to talk to about dressing or my feeling even now some time it hard to talk to her even as she is 90% OK with it it's great to talk with others that dress :hugs:
Angie

[veronicagirl]

There were a few magazines at the "dirty book" store. I bought my stuff at JC Penney catalog in another town. But you sure were alone! I well remember my first night online! I was up all night reading about all you other gals out there.

[Jennaie]

I always just told the sales girl that I was a photograher getting ready for a model shoot. They might have believed me, I'm not sure.

[Julogden]

I first got active back in the mid-1970's. At that time, there was a publisher called the Empathy Press up in Washington state that put out a magazine with ads from CD's, and I used that to contact pen-pals, swap photos, basically what we do in these forums, but obviously, since we were snail-mailing, things were much slower. I also joined the national Tri-Ess, and they offered a members directory for making long-distance friends too.

There was one store in Chicago that specialized in clothes for CD's, that was my start. I primarily relied on mail-order for my clothes though, and back then, large-size shoes were an impossibility almost. There was one store locally that went to size 14, which was a size or two too small for me, but that was my only option then, so I wore low-heel slingbacks from them, and my heel hung over a bit. The store was friendly to CD's though, quite a rarity back then, at least around here.

I also had a pair of shoes custom-made, took several months, and were too expensive, nothing like today, as we now have ready-to-wear shoes to US size 17 available on the Internet for reasonable prices.

And like Jennaie did, when I bought makeup, I told the sales woman that I was a photographer and was buying the makeup for my models.

Carol:hugs:

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

I'm really greatful to all you girls for sharing some of your pre-internet exploits with me & others of course :)

WoW seems apart from the isolation, you all did pretty well at aquiring pretty outfits and all our galm gear...

So tell me who wore those huge 70's platforms?



hugs

x

beckii

[tekla west]

It was all there, at least in some of the bigger cities, you just had to look real hard to find it. But I was a member of a social/support group back in '81 and our meetings had about 40 people a month. And there were a few bars we could go to, in the worst part of town. I do not think it was the internet that changed things as much as it was girls who got brave enough to stand up and be counted. Many of the landmark TG rights acts were passed in the late 80s and early 90s, again before the net was all that widespread. The only difference in shopping is now I try everything on before I buy.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

I started as a youngster in the 60s and through till I found this forum only a few months back, I've been alone and miserable with my CDing.
The only measure of this activity that I have had has been the way society viewed it, and frankly I have felt like a perverted freakshow for all those years...and now that's a hard thought to erase. I don't accept what I do very well, even if it is one of the more enjoyable things I do. I have had difficulty understanding my motivation to dress as it is not sexual, and the internet has at least enlightened me to the fact that there are a lot of people just like me....I still feel a bit like a freak (sorry), but at least I know there is some hope that one day I may be happier.

The internet has at last let me communicate with people who do fully understand how I feel, and at last I can get some support and "sanity".

[Calliope]

When I started really dressing and getting into my TG side, around 1986, it was like, presto, a month later I serendiptitiously met a couple of postop gals who took me in to their hearts and lives.

That connection made a big difference!

Had the internet existed then, it would have been nowhere near as important in my development as that relationship. There's just nothing compared to the kindnesses of a 'big sister' or two.

[SherriePall]

I used to sneak clothes from various family sources and hand-me-downs left at our house. When I married, I eventually tried on my wife's clothes although she is considerably smaller than me, but they fit. (when I told her about me seven years ago, she asked what I wore and couldn't believe it when I told her).
Anyway, I thought I was the only one and I had heard stories about what they did if they found out you dressed. I kept quiet and snuck (in the house only and usually only in the bedroom) around. I didn't want to be institutionalized for my illness.

[Eugenie]

For me, the internet has been aspring of yought and freedom with regard to my X-dressing.

There was very little information available, especially in a small country town. I thought that I was pretty much alone in my case. Strangely the various movies an books that addressed the subject felt quite foreign to what I was experiencing.

Need I say what a miserable life I had, full of guilt and fears to be discovered. I had to hide from my fiancée and felt ashamed that I still needed to dress "en femme" even though I was loving her so much. I maried her and for a while could pretend that X-dressing had come to an end for me... But it was not long before the urge came back... With the same guilt feeling. I told my wife about it. She took it to be just a sexual fantazy. But when she realized it meant a lot more to me, she rejected the whole idea, even thought she tolerates it if I remained pretty much hidden from her view.

I had however one GG friend and lover who supported my x-dressing as soon as I confessed it to her. Sh'es been my mentor in my early attempts at transforming myself as a woman. My wife was very opposed to my X-dressing but didn't mind me having an affair with my GG friend. She was hovever very crossed at me when she realized that that friend was supporting me with my x-dressing...

Surprisingly, eventhough I've been on the internet since the early eighties, it is only lately that I discovered the verious forums on X-dressing. Before that I had found some great picture galeries that already helped me come to the conclusion that I wasn't alone :D

Previously, I had found websites on X-dressing that were primarily porn sites or dating sites. It took me some time to find quality dialogue sites and it is only very recently that I've found this wonderful site where we all share experiences.

There seems to be now quite a few good ones in various languages. I've found one in French and one in Italian.

Let's hope that younger CDs will have an easier life with it than we had then when we were their age.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[LindaMarie]

The big things I think of, pre-net, are loneliness, guilt and alienation.

Yep, I'm fun at parties.

Seriously, there was absolutely no information about crossdressing other than the occasional letter in Ann Landers. Ann would always assure the worried wife or girlfriend that most crossdressers were heterosexual but would caution that the wife keep her "girl" in the house.

I'd find bits and pieces in psychology texts and some "pseudo-psychology" books - books that were meant to titillate but had a semi-scholarly title so they could get into bookstores or libraries.

Considering how guilty I felt and afraid of being discovered, I actually bought quite a few things for myself. I was slender in those days (ahhh, that was great) and could find lots of things that I could wear in regular stores. I bought some nice things. Shoes only went up to 10 in most places, but until I was 30, I could fit into a 10 (I'm sure the manufacturers changed their sizing). The problem was I did frequent and drastic purges. So a lot of my nice things wound up in the trash.

I went for walks in the neighborhood or drives but couldn't conceive of meeting anyone. Who else would be doing something like this?

Then the Net. Wow. So many different men who liked to dress. Some straight, some gay, some bi, some ... it didn't matter. I felt part of a community.

I know there's a lot of false intimacy on the Net. We have these heart to heart discussions with people we've never met while never discussing really important things with those we're really close to and love. So I know that Net friendships and community aren't the same as in real life. But, it's been amazing to know there are others like me out there. Amazing to know of others who have gone through so many of the same things I have (I'm thinking of starting a Yahoo group "the cliche crossdresser" - for all the others out there who have stories so similar to mine).

I wonder how life would have been different if I knew then what I know now. (By the way, that's another thing if you want to join the "cliche crossdresser" - you have to share banal yet profound sounding musings with others). I couldn't imagine telling my then fiance about my dressing. I just gave it up. Of course, I didn. Once I was married, I'd never have the need again. Show of hands for that one?

I think I would have felt less guilty and alone. And maybe a little less weird. I'm sure that young cd, tg, ts girls have more than their share of problems and it's easy for me to look on the bright side, for them, anyway. In most parts of America, most of the time, a boy in a dress isn't exactly welcomed and can sometimes be in danger. Still, I think it's better. I think the Net has something to do with that. And the cool people like you that I've become aware of and talked to have helped, too.

Wait, what was the question???

[tekla west]

The most important thing the net did was create the opportunity for people to meet in real life, its an outreach tool, not a be all and end all. DT is right, it is never as good as real life - what is?

[Kate Simmons]

The most important thing the net did was create the opportunity for people to meet in real life, its an outreach tool, not a be all and end all. DT is right, it is never as good as real life - what is?I agree with that. The human contact is what makes all the difference, then you see what you are really made of.:happy: EKR

[Jodi Lynn]

While growing up as a crossdresser it made me very confused, what was I a boy, a girl, gay, or something else. I never knew another CD. And had only heard of Christine getting a sex change. I was lonely and felt lost. Dressing in my mom's stuff and then my wife's things. Shortly before I started useing the internet I had started buying some of my own things. Then in the mid 90's when I got a computer and the net, a whole new world opened up for me. I found out I wasn't alone. I have gotten so much help from girls I have met on the net, I am not alone anymore.

[Dapple]

I was lucky that I had four older sisters and a Mom who know all about how Little Bro would dress up in their girly stuff. They thought it was great fun to dress me up. What a childhood. But we had to be careful the old man didn't find out. None of the girly stuff would have fit over the full body cast.

[Sierra Evon]

For me growing up , I was expected to be one of the guys , my father was a good ole boy type himself , around my teenage years I got fed-up with that and knew i had an interest in pretty clothes , and wanting to be female so much of it just came naturally to me , but i had to keep it hidden for old-dad, he passed away in 1999, I saw him in an open cascket and I told him then , I was going to live my life my way and not in serectcy as I had to avoid his wrath, especially when he got drunk weekends, so I guess I made my peace then , the next phase was telling my mom, still was not an easy go, and even to this day she cannot full accept it, I think part of her refuses to mourn the loss of a son in a way, and not to full embrace me as a daughter she never had, but now does......

[Cathy_NJ]

I started, like many others, by "borrowing" mom's things. I thought I was being clever, but of course, she suspected. I'm not proud of it, but my first skirt and tights were shoplifted from an outdoor market, only because I didn't have the courage to buy them. (It never even entered my mind what it would have been like had I been caught!) After that, it was just relying on finding a gg friend close to me in size, and gradually convincing her that she wanted to dress me up! Of course I always protested, but not TOO hard!! One actually took me out a couple of times!

[Samantha B L]

Let's all be thankful for the internet.Actually,it seems like it wasn't until like the later part of the 80's just a few years prior to the inception of the internet in like 1991-92 that most people had a good understanding of crossdressing and what it really is.Like Linda Marie has pointed out there was a lot of bogus psychological literature in 1983,1974,1968 etc.,there were the letters to Ann Landers,it was all preposterous.I shopped often in the seventies and the eighties but I told the salespeople that "it's a present for my girlfreind"..."My Aunt"..."My Sister".."My Mom".I would nervously try to persuade GG freinds of mine to talk to the sales people and tell them that the panyhose or the makeup kit or the skirt is for them.I had some interesting and wonderful freindships with other cd's back in those days and I realize that I can't recreate that through virtual reality.And I know that a household appliance like a pc with the internet,probably isn't going to save the world any more a Westinghouse Console TV or a Kenmore Washer Dryer but I've got a whole world of fun cd stuff and online places to shop and lots of freinds and this forum.I'm 50 and really,things were very TS before the net.Samantha

[Wendy me]

well the only thing the internet did for me was to be able to reach out and talk to tons of people just like me all over the world .... the shopping i always did and i have not ever bought a thing on line.... just cool a shy little me can come on line and have a word or two to say......

[Tina Dixon]

It opened my eyes up to it thats for sure, went from just putting on a few girlie things to full transformations and finding out I'm not alone out here.

[Cathy_NJ]

It dawned on me that I never really did answer the question that was asked.... What it was like in those 'stone ages' was, in a word, lonely! I never realized that I wasn't the only one in the world harboring these feelings, it wasn't until the internet era that I found out that I wasn't! Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing it!

[Alice D]

When I first read this post I keyed on the word "mature"-thought that meant those of us 50+. Did a quick dictionary search and the first def. is " complete in natural development and growth". I do feel the internet ( this site primarily) has made it easier for me to to see that I'm not alone. There are others who have the same feelings and desires- you are not an outcast- just maybe in the minority (what ever that is today). I'm finally in a position in life where I can truly be what I want (could never come out to my wife when I was married- we split for other reasons), and I feel much better about myself- that's what is really important! Feels of quilt /shame, etc. are really hurtful to your sense of self-worth. I (at 55+) am coming to grips with my life and myself- you know what? it feels good!

P.S. I did a quick search here and there are no tabs on the average age of members- maybe someone could supply it- bet it's older than the population in general.

Alice

[vbcdgrl]

I "borrowed" some stuff from my X, and bought some at stores. Never did anything illegalbut, you are right, it was tough. Much easier now.

Vikki

[Jodi]

I started my cd'ing in the 50's. I would borrow from my mom. I have two brothers, no sisters. Up until early high school, I was able to fit into her heels. So I would wear them with her garterbelt and stockings. She had a couple of skirts that would fit me. I can remember in 1958, when a girl down the street gave my mom a dressy dress (prom gown) for a special event. The dress came with the matching fancy 3" spike heels and purse. The shoes were a little tight, but wearable. I was in heaven. I was able to fit into the dress and heels for about two years.

During college in the early to mid 1960's, my cd'ing took a back seat, but I would look at the coeds and wonder what it would be like to wear their outfit, especially the shoes.

I told my wife about my desire to wear women's clothes in 1968, about 6 months after we were married. She did not take it well. Of course, I was completely unable to explain it, as I did not understand it myself. She immediately thought I was gay. Try to explain yourself out of this in the 1960's. Add to this that I was a combat arms officer in the army. Talk about stress. I believed that I was the only one in the world. Then in 1970, while stationed in Germany, Their was a story in the "Overseas Weekly". The Overseas Weekly was kind of an underground newspaper that many times criticized the military. The story told about a young Lieutenant that was caught dressed enfemme in the redlight district in Frankfort. He was courtmartialed and dismissed from the army. This further scared me. During this time, I had purchased couple pairs of heels at the army thrift store. I can't remember what or if I made any excuse when buying them. I know I was scared to death.

Fast forward to the late 70's and into the 80's, I would purchase shoes and clothes at Goodwill, Salvation Army or dumpster dive. My wife and I had so many confrontations and I had so many purges. I went out for the first time dressed in 1983 to a Halloween party. I had a lot of fun. After that, when the opportunity would hit, I would go out dressed to the mall or just for a walk at night. I guess that all the years having to buy at Goodwill has now driven me to have all clothes that are new.

Then in the late 1990's, My good wife stated that she was gone, and the internet came on board. The change was unreal. I had the freedom to dress, and the info on the internet was there. From there on, I began to shop openly, joined a support group, got a makeover, and began going out and enjoying life.

I will agree that growing up in the 50's and 60's as a young cd was quite scary. It placed so much undue stress and pressure on me. I often wonder how much my life would have been changed had I able to be open with what I do.

Jodi

[Butterfly Bill]

In the late 80s I had outlets at Rainbow Gatherings and Grateful Dead concerts. By 1994 I was out in general public. I made my first internet post in 1997.

Before that, I had books like the three volume set of Havelock Ellis's The Psychology of Sex, a book that included lots of vivid case histories of late Victorian era CDs, to show me that I was not all alone. I also observed the way a lot of gay people dressed in California in the late 60s when I was stationed there by the Navy. And Christine Jorgensen was famous. it wasn't all that barren.

[Lanore]

Started out with Mom's things. She would have garage sales and there were always leftovers to pick through. It was years before I heard the term crossdresser. I did here of Transvestites. That still sounds so not me. I started very young and after a while I decided I liked the female side a lot more. Now, I'm in my fifties and love who I have become. It does bring back memories when I read some of the posts of 'the beginning times'.

Lanore

[michelleceedee]

As an older cd (late 50's) I feel that I have progressed thru from some pre-historic time. Having grown up in NYC, then moving to California in the 70's, things were not so bad for me as for others. Both NY and CA. were very wide open sexually and as you know gave birth to the sexual revolution. Still I felt odd, and alone as very few shared my interests.
For me the last few years have been the best I have ever had as a CD. The net is not about being able to buy stuff as much as it is about meeting like minded people who share your deepest feelings and have struggled thru your worst nighmares too. Sure being able to buy silicon breast forms or kinky footwear is cool but you could do that thru Centurion Magazine 20+ years ago. In fact I lived in Huntington Beach, CA. less than 10 mins from their huge store in Westminster. I lived in that place!
So to me the net has helped me grow as a person who happens to be a CD. Now I know I am not a freak or a sicko but rather a person with an expanded personality and I know that there are lots of other people like me who share these same issues. The net also helped my wife come to gripes with my "hobby" when she discovered my alter ego 10 years ago.
Without the internet and all the info she was able to find, I'd be broke, divorced and miserable. Now I am just broke from buying all the cool stuff that Michelle needs to be happy LOL!

[Ashley1]

Back in the "Olden Days", there were these big stores that were called "department stores", and they were not all owned by the May Company. A few were Robinson's, Bullocks, The Broadway in L.A.and a few more. Each and every one of them had a lingerie department among their many departments. They actually carried several brands of lingerie and sleep ware for women. If you were a CD, you could go into any of those stores or you could go to any one of several smaller shops that carried nothing but lingerie and buy any of the garments that were for sale. There were other small shops some of which carried mostly dresses and skirts, or some carried only shoes, or there were actually some that sold nothing but women's hosiery. So, we mainly bought those things that we wanted or needed. Of course, just as today, it was not unheard of for a CD to borrow items of clothing from their wive, mother, sister or aunt. Things haven't really changed that much except the Internet has made it easier for men to obtain women's clothing and has saved many a young CD the anguish of asking a female SA to ring up a sale for a pair of women's panties. What really made a difference for us was the invention of the automobile, because prior to that one had to ride a horse through the darkened street, and the horse made a lot of noise which alerted the whole neighborhood that there was a CD out for an outing while dressed in his wife's petticoat.

[Sharon_Rose]

I started dressing when I was 6. My mother thought it was cute...I thought it was great. I was raised by my grandparents and was alone most of the time that I was not in school. I got to got through Mom's stored items frequently. I used to paint my nails with model airplane paint and then take it off with paint thinner. I took every halloween as a time to dress.

As I became a teen, I went to live with my father and my stepmother. Once again, I was alone most of the time...Dad was a railroader and Mom was a nurse's aide. Her clothes fit me perfectly! I used to do things around the house dressed in her clothes.

I also wore feminine items under my regular clothes when I was in high school. Almost got caught a couple of times.

I blossomed in college. I was much thinner and more passable than I am today. [Thank you chronology!!] I worked my way through college as a female bartender. Actually went on dates and hung out with other college girls. They knew my secret but I was honestly surprised at how well they actually helped me. They invited me to several sorority parties and I could always count on them trying to hook me up with a drunk frat boy.
I explained to them that I would rather be hooked up with a drunk sororiety girl. That brought on its own twists.

After that....I toned it down and took advantage of prudent opportunities.

In retrospect, it wasn't bad for a kid in the 50's. :love:

[marie354]

I too began in the late 50's early 60's. Not sure exactly, it seems so long ago, but things were a lot different back then. I'd take things from my mom or big sister while they were out shopping, run to my room or the bathroom. and dress up. It was a bad thing to do back then. My parents sent me to a shrink (No disrespect intended), to help but it wasn't a good thing in their eyes either. Sooo alone. Kept it hid as best as I could.
In 1970, I was in California, Santa Monica actually, visiting my sister, and one day I bravely went into what was called a "supper club". A gay bar by any other name is still a gay bar. There was a restaurant but it lacked a cook, so it was closed at the time. Met a few people, one of which bought me a dress, makup, everything I needed to do what I liked. Took me out to places too. But it was always a gay (men) crowd and that was not for me. My parents sent me a ticket to come home for Christmas, so I went back home. I kept it all a secret after that.
I guess I'm rattling a bit here, but what's a girl to do.
Anyway, now that the internet is here... I recently discovered this site, and it has helped a lot.

[Bethanygirl]

This is weird, but I never really thought about it once I started. Some good freind gg's started me out, and I never looked back. I didn't think of myself as a transvestite, or anything but me, really. I think I was too busy coping with being young, and trying to find my own way alone, to really get to introspective about it. I had been cast out of my family before I crossed over, so maybe that is why I didn't give it much thought. I never felt guilty about it though, so maybe that is why... Like I said, weird.

[StayceeCD]

I'm 43 so I guess thats mature enough.. Early on as a teenager I would steal some of Mom's panty hose or sis's lipstick and spend a fair amount of Bathroom time!! Sometimes I'd sleep in the panty hose and was sure someday my GF would come over and catch me! After I was married I would also steal some panty hose, try on some skirts or bras or experiment with makeup while she was at work.. About 1997 I was living on LI and when talking about a Halloween party with a friend he suggested "lets go as chicks" For me this was the ultimate! I said "yeah that'll be funny! I bought a pair of "5 pumps on 8th St in the Village for the occasion.. Figured nobody there would blink an eye at a guy buying heels. Told my wife that I got them from a friends wife (who was very tall) she bought the story and made me up! Shaved my legs for the first time ever.. WOW!! Anyway, not long after that for me came the internet and shopping online... Delivery to hotels (I travel alot for work), Delivery to PO Box.. My wife knows now but I still am not at the place where I can have femme items delivered home.. It has been quite an evolution.. Going from being totally alone, to having support and knowing that there are people just like you.. Right in your own neighborhood! It's a shame that society doesn't accept us more.. There are more of us than they know!!
Staycee

[angie^]

ah yes, the good old days of steam, how I miss that smell, when you could get a pair of stockings for tuppence, including the american sailor ! lol

Angie^ xxxx ( not really that old !)

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

ah yes, the good old days of steam, how I miss that smell

Here I was thinking wow...Then I realised it was another sh#ts & giggle line like Ashley and the horse :D

You got me!


hugs

x

beckii

[crossing-the-rain]

No changes before or after ,cause I purchased clothing for my wife,she was amazed my taste and enjoyed my purchasing all the time even now,but she doesn't like me buy anything on net which I love this ver much.
Rain