Question about TRI-ESS

[Ashley1]

I seem to be evolving out of the closet and thought that I might attend a TRI-ESS meeting early next year, but when I checked the local TRI-ESS website it seemed to indicate that it was only for couples in a relationship.
Can anyone tell me if this is correct? If it is correct, is there a similar organization that will include singles? Thanks for your advice.

Ashley

[sterling12]

Hi Ashley:

I'm single, I'm in Tri-Ess. I belong to a couple of local chapters here in Florida and I've never had a problem. The other members have been accepting and I seem to get along just fine with the wives of married CD's.

Tri-Ess has a major focus on helping married CD's and their wives to adjust to their situation but it's not the only aspect of Tri-Ess.

We have a lot of social fun at our meetings and usually have a program presented about some other aspect of being CD. It might be as mundane as having a jewelry Rep display her products, it might be as serious as having a psychologist address the group about counseling for transgendered persons.

Almost always there is a meal, either brought in by various members or we eat out. A lot of socializing and general "catching up" on one another's lives is also the norm. For a lot of us, going out after the meeting as a group is often done, or they sit around and have a "bull session".

So to sum it up, I can't really characterize Tri-Ess Local Chapters as being anything specific. I think that they are accepting of most people, unless you want to get into "dating encounters" at your local chapter meeting. Inappropriate Sexual behavior is not permitted, and would no doubt get you in trouble. In other words, If you are so inclined, they don't want you trolling for somebody else's wife OR HUSBAND at a meeting, or trying to contact someone later. That type of thing would no doubt get you bounced out. When you join, it will all be in the Chapter by-laws. For about 99% of us there's nothing there to represent a problem. Usually, the person who does your screening interview will explain it all to you and answer any questions.

Have fun, enjoy yourself, be accepting, and make an effort to help others. You do that stuff, married or single, I am sure you will enjoy Tri-Ess.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Diana West]

I guess I have a similar concern.
What if my wife is not a part of my crossdressing? I haven't told her and probably never will.
Is that acceptable with Tri-Ess?

[Rebecca Petersen]

NO, you don't have to be married or have an accepting wife.

[tekla west]

My experience with Tri-Ess leads me to belive that it depends on the local chapter more than anything else. Some are very outgoing, others meet only in hotels and are really just a bigger closet. The most constant grip I hear about them is that they are a "rich, old girls club" and that is kind of true. I know they are most active where there are few other options. There are three or four groups in the bay area, none of which are Tri-Ess. There is not that great a need here, and local groups, such as TGSF, Diabilo Valley Girls and others fill that void.

[Rebecca Petersen]

The most constant grip I hear about them is that they are a "rich, old girls club" and that is kind of true. .
Hey!!! I resent that statement. I'm not rich.:heehee: We have girls in their 20's and 30's in our group, so that would eliminate the "Old" thing also.
We also meet in restaurants and have many outings. Haven't met in a "closet" for many years.
True, Tri-Ess was formed for Hetero CD's and their SO's if they had one.

[Calliope]

My experience leads me to believe Tri-Ess has kinda run its course - like the CPUSA, and for many of thesame reasons: top-down ideology, top-down leadership, just generally outmoded.



True, Tri-Ess was formed for Hetero CD's and their SO's if they had one.

Putting a lid put on the dialectic of TG, in my opinion, is a fatal flaw.

[JoAnnDallas]

Ar HEF2006, we had at least 10-12 other chapters at the meeting. At least 10 of these got awards for among other things, increasing their membership. Looks like they will be around a little longer. Even the local chapter has grown in members over the last year. I being one.

BTW, my wife does not know about JoAnn and the local chapter understands that and I was still allowed to join.

[Thora]

Tri-Ess is still helping women of all genders and a few men of the same persuasion. They haven't devolved. They aren't devolving. They are, though, very diverse. And that is the future. If you don't get out enough with your local chapter, start an outing and invite them. There will be some to go with you, I'm sure.

As to the bigger closet thing; There are a LOT of girls out there that have no ability to get from their closet to the open air. Tri-Ess chapters have an ability to provide that doorway.

Change is comming, socially. Someday, we will all walk in the light. I promise.

[JenniferR771]

Una,
you are so right!
Myself I found it difficult to attend the first meeting--but after that I felt I was among friends and it became really easy and fun. Tir-ess is a great place to start. They provide a changing area so that you can dress at the meeting.
Many of us are not ready to go out enfemme--but we get more brave as time goes on.

[Thora]

Again. Social change is comming. Someday we will all walk in the light. I promise. I may not get there with you. I may die of old age before we get there, but we will get there. I promise.

[Rebecca Petersen]

My experience leads me to believe Tri-Ess has kinda run its course - like the CPUSA, and for many of thesame reasons: top-down ideology, top-down leadership, just generally outmoded.



Putting a lid put on the dialectic of TG, in my opinion, is a fatal flaw.

Why can't the Transgendered Communnity accept that within itself is a broad spectrum of people. Being transgendered is not a progression from trying on moms clothes as a kid, to SRS for all of us
We do not all think the same and there are different needs met by different clubs, gatherings and social organizations, each of which has its place.
The closet exists only in your mind.
Where you meet, if it's someone's home, a hotel room, a gay bar, or where ever, is of no consequence. The leadership of the organization is secondary to the support it gives to its members. The comfort level that one experiences from the group that they choose, is one ofthe most important factors.
Not all organizations are created equal and not all chapters within the group are the same.
Finally, if you were to equate this to a hobby like stamp collecting, which it is not, based on your statement, we would all be collecting the same stamp.:2c:

[Phoebe Reece]

There is one chapter located in California that restricts membership in their chapter to couples only. To the best of my knowledge, that is the only chapter that does that.

Not all Tri-Ess chapters operate exactly the same way. There is a wide variety in how each chapter conducts "meetings". Some meet in hotels. Some meet in church basements. Some meet in members homes. Some chapter meetings involve a formal meeting lasting only a couple of hours and some other chapters have meetings that consist of a full weekend of activities. The only way to find out exactly what a particular chapter does is to contact the chapter, ask questions, and go to a meeting.

Tri-Ess is a support organization. Different parts of the TG community have different needs and Tri-Ess cannot satisfy all the diverse needs of the entire community. Those that disagree with that philosophy should simply look elsewhere. There are many other organizations out there. Tri-Ess is just a bit more well known.

[Calliope]

Why can't the Transgendered Communnity accept that within itself is a broad spectrum of people. Being transgendered is not a progression from trying on moms clothes as a kid, to SRS for all of us
We do not all think the same and there are different needs met by different clubs, gatherings and social organizations, each of which has its place.
The closet exists only in your mind.
[...]

Not all organizations are created equal and not all chapters within the group are the same.
Finally, if you were to equate this to a hobby like stamp collecting, which it is not, based on your statement, we would all be collecting the same stamp.:2c:

???

Did I say anything about collecting stamps? Don't you know what the CPUSA is?

'The closet exists in only' whose mind? Your comment follows my quote but I can't see the connection. I'm hardly in the closet, as anyone in Menlo Park CA will surely attest.

But - to dialogue on the topic.

No, most organizations are not 'created equal,' but it seems a real shame Tri-Ess feels compelled to shun gay CDs and those discovering the uncertain TG waters. Often CD and TG merge - some would say it's inevitable - and having a body as august and established as Tri-Ess disinclude them, well, it reminds of the CPUSA and where they are today.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Janis, we would love to see you at our next chi tri-ess meeting which is ussually the 3rd Saturday of the month, go on-line to chitriess.com to get in touch with us.
I am a member for 2plus years and love the ability to get out with my"sisters"