Meloncoly, perhaps.......

[Sharon_Rose]

I ask your forgiveness in advance. I have been reading the various posts this evening. The "pain" expressed by so many is heart breaking. Many of us are trapped by our love for our wives. I would do nothing to hurt her but I have. It is such a delicate balance that we maintain. Those of us who believe in honor, trust, love....yet while my wife knows, I still feel as if I have betrayed her.

Worry not. Two more scotches and I will understand.

:hugs:

[marie354]

Sometimes I feel this way too and I ask her. She always re-assures me that it's all ok and to relax. Don't worry. Most women will find a point to tell you just what's on their mind.

[Talon DeRojo]

Sharon - Sometimes I feel the same way. It is hard, sometimes, to find the balance. I, too, love my wife and am grateful that she accepts me and my unusual avenue of self-expression that we call crossdressing.
Talon:happy:

[Sharon_Rose]

I do appreciate, very much, your responses. My wife is an enigma. When we finally finished fighting about my condition, she told me to bring my wardrobe home. I did but it didn't feel right. She knows that I dress when on the road, but we don't talk about it. I know we should but I feel like a disappointment to her. She married a man, not a woman wanna-be. Yet, I still wanna-be and I am still incredibly in love with her.
I just don't know what to do.

:hugs:

[Cathy_NJ]

My wife knew before we married, I couldn't live with her and hide my clothes, so I fely obligated to tell her before we started to cohabitate.... it took her a while, but she decided that it was ok with her, after all the obligatory, "I'm not going to cut it off" talks. she even became quite supportive, we had our own private Xmases prior to the family gatherings, to exchange 'private' gifts. She often gave me a wig or a pair of heels, etc. Then after about 12 years or marriage, she tired of it, though she never committed to me that Cathy was the reason she was leaving, I know that was part of it. I guess my lengthy message is, even if you're accepted by your SO, don't overdo it!!

[Sharon_Rose]

That is the feeling that I get. Nothing said but it permeates the air. :hugs:

[Karren H]

Mine knows and just doesn't want it in her face.....and she's not a big fan but things are getting better....slowly.... And the hards part was loosing the trust she had in me...but I'm winning that back also very slowly....

Love Karren

[EricaCD]

"Trapped" by my love? No. Liberated, if anything.

What traps us, all too frequently, is not our love (or even our spouse's attitude toward our crossdressing), but rather our own shame, self-doubt and embarrassment. Now I certainly am not so fatuous as to believe that there is no such thing as the fundamentally non-accepting wife. But at the same time I am willing to wager that in most of our cases our marital demons are largely of our own making.

If we, as crossdressers, who have had years, decades, entire lifetimes...
Who understand exactly how fundamental the feeling is...
Who get to experience not only the problems, but also the joy...
Who did not have this development sprung on us...

If we are unable, for all these head-starts, to become comfortable in our own feminine skins, how can we possibly expect our wives, lovers, girlfriends to become comfortable with us?

That sensation of being "trapped" I understand all too well. And yes, it may manifest itself more clearly in the context of a relationship. But I'd respectfully suggest that we should all give careful thought to exactly what is trapping us........

Erica

[veronicagirl]

I had 2 wives who never knew. The first divorce after 9 years was due to career choices. The 2nd was real short with a crazy lady. Now, I'm single! I can dress at home, go for drives.... just about whenever I want. Being married and a CD was extremely stressful. Now, I'm just so relaxed and enjoying both my male and femme lifestyles. I do know what you are going through, but I have no specific advise.