When's a CD not a CD?

[Beckii_aCDInOz]

Hi,

I've been mulling over this question for a few days now. It got brought into question between my SO & I, and since then I've been trying to nut it out with very little success I might add.

The catalyst to the question was asked if I would ever want to be en femme 24/7 or for extended periods of time.

All I could say was I've been CD'ing for over 30 years and I've not had the inclination so far. I'm happy simply dressing at home when I feel like it & that's about it.

I then get asked...

Can you explain why people who dress 24/7 en femme refer to themself as CD?

Which in that regard got me thinking...

Looks like we're both having not too clear on why someone wouldn't want to take hormones and get SRS if they are wanting to live 24/7 as a female.

I'd appreciate any insight anyone is happy to offer, thanks.



hugs

x

beckii

[princessmichelle]

Sometimes 24/7 cds avoid hormones because
*they can't afford them
*they can't take them for a medical reason
*they are nervous about irreversible results

Just my :2c:

PM

[Calliope]

Can you explain why people who dress 24/7 en femme refer to themself as CD?



I am TG (24/7) but also stand under the CD umbrella because I don't care if I pass or not, whereas passing is nearly an obsession with (medically) transitioning TGs.

[Sierra Evon]

I dress as a Girl (enfemme) 24/7, 365, and anyone who does so is not a CD
CDers are just P/T, at it kinda like a hobby thing, at least thats how I see it.
Soo that makes me a regulation 'HOTTIE " T-Girl.........:happy:

[Elly]

in my situation it's a lack of funds, and wanting to have a kid (or two) with my wife first, before starting hormones...

[Sharon]

I think it just comes down to how you see yourself. It is possible for someone to crossdress fulltime without ever viewing themselves as anything but a crossdresser, that is, a man or woman dressing in the clothes normally worn by those of the other gender. A transsexual may or may not dress 24/7, but they view themselves as being of the other gender. I am a transsexual, who happens to dress fulltime, but I identify myself internally as a female also.

[ToyGirl]

Acronyms vary from place to place , site to site , person to person.

[CarmenG]

Well since your SO is pushing for an answer, perhaps it's her insecurity that warrents the answer. After all you are not the MAN she thought she knew. Then again where are you in all this. Are you ready or are you just playing with this cd thing.
What are you willing to sacrifice for your pleasure or fetish. Help her understand as well as underdstand her. How can she tell her friends, "Hey my So likes to dress as a girl"....:eek:

[Marla S]

Problem with this question IMO is the usual All-or-Nothing premise.
There is no all-or-nothing, there are all different shades, which depend on the personality. IMO this distorted to a considerable amount by the circumstances of life AND peer pressure AND the delusion to fit into the one or other label etc.

I.e., someone who lives 24/7 might be able to, because he/she has no job, or his/her own business, and/or no partner, but maybe would be a part-time dresser otherwise.
It is always hard to realize what is cause and what is effect.

Free yourself from the labels first, find out what you want to be and to do, what you are able to do, and how the restrictions influence your behavior.

Than, if it becomes neccessary, pick the label that fits best for you (there are tons of labels - free choice - but non will cover it all) and switch as you desire.

[Holly]

Beckii, one of the great things about life is that it is customizable. I'm a husband, a father, an employee, a volunteer, a cross dresser, etc. Some people will put more (or less) emphasis on various aspects of their lives. An employee who works four hours a day is just as much an employee as is the person who works eight hours a day. A cross dresser is still a cross dresser no matter if they cross dress once a month or 24/7. We all work hard to find that balance that fulfills us.

[Kimberley]

Hi Beckii and Robyn,
I think it is worth noting that those of us who are in the position you describe would be more likely to be considered non-op TS or TG not that of a CD. For us transition is or could be likely or is underway. Bear in mind though that this is a lifestyle, not just dressing for the sake of dressing.

There are a multitude of reasons we dont transition. That said, we would still prefer transition if the conditions were right for us. There are considerably more non-ops and TG's than those actively pursuing SRS.

For those of us identified as TS who choose to not transition, life is hell. Plain and simple. The need or drive if you will to transition can be debillitating and while it may wax and wane, it never leaves.

Most of us KNOW we are TS long before we are clinically identified. We dont need to be told what we are, we know. Our problem is getting others to see it, most notably in the medical fields.

So, I hope this puts a little light on your question.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Kristen Kelly]

I dress as a Girl (enfemme) 24/7, 365, and anyone who does so is not a CD
CDers are just P/T, at it kinda like a hobby thing, at least thats how I see it.
Soo that makes me a regulation 'HOTTIE " T-Girl.........:happy:

Now you have done it P/T kinda like a hobby thing, well the reason I do not dress 24/7 is I have a very good paying job for which I would like to keep. This is not a hobby for I did not choose to do this it is something I have to do. With that outlook you are more like a regular B**CH than hottie.
I consider myself TS but even in drab my actions and thoughts are no different than, as if I were dressed

[vbcdgrl]

Personally, I'm not gonna do anything that irreversable, no way, no how!!!!!

Vikki

[Kate Simmons]

I'll make it simple for you Beckii (with apologies to Marla). I am ME, all of me, Richard and Ericka. I consider myself a CD either way. One part complements the other. I need both aspects of myself to funtion, so I am both and neither but always a CD. Sounds complex I know but I'm a complex person to most people but not myself, not any more!:happy: Ericka Kay

[MJ]

I dress as a Girl (enfemme) 24/7, 365, and anyone who does so is not a CD
CDers are just P/T, at it kinda like a hobby thing, at least thats how I see it.

Soo that makes me a regulation 'HOTTIE " T-Girl.........:happy:
i am sorry but i dont see your way at all
you see i am on hrt and seeking all the syrgery i can get... but i see myself first of all as a crossdresser


I think it just comes down to how you see yourself. It is possible for someone to crossdress fulltime without ever viewing themselves as anything but a crossdresser,

that is, a man or woman dressing in the clothes normally worn by those of the other gender. A transsexual may or may not dress 24/7, but they view themselves as being of the other gender. I am a transsexual, who happens to dress fulltime, but I identify myself internally as a female also.

Thats my point. thanks Sharon



Now you have done it P/T kinda like a hobby thing, well the reason I do not dress 24/7 is I have a very good paying job for which I would like to keep. This is not a hobby for I did not choose to do this it is something I have to do. With that outlook you are more like a regular B**CH than hottie.
I consider myself TS but even in drab my actions and thoughts are no different than, as if I were dressed
and like Kristen Kelly. i am the reverse. i don't go out in drab or male mode. i do live full time and i can tell you it is a liveing hell for me right now i wish i had the bal*s to tell you how life is for me... talk about black chirstmas..
Kristen choice would have been better for me but i made my bed and now i have to lay in it good or bad this is who i am now..
Lets see what happends when i look for a new job as marissa !!
This is a choice we make
why would you get married when you know you have these Feminine feelings ?

[crusadergirl]

Thats a good question i have been trying to answer it for about 3 monthes now. I really don't know what i want with it. I can't be e femme 24/7. All i know is i like the way girls look and i wish i looked that good. I just don't see it as a guy.

[Marla S]

I'll make it simple for you Beckii (with apologies to Marla). I am ME ...
:D SEE, this ME thing is kinda strange.
Right now I am sitting here (quite dolled up) and don't even feel transgendered. Transgendered doesn't really relate to the ME. :happy:

[Calliope]

Right now I am sitting here (quite dolled up) and don't even feel transgendered.


Which just might be an indication of how transgendered you are.

[Marla S]

Paradoxical effects are always included.
That makes this subject so confusing :D

[Chiana]

Sorry I don't mean to hijack this thread but I just can't help it.

Marissa, I am sorry you are experiencing a black Christmas so far. Maybe it will get better for you. Here, this is for you..... :love: :hugs: :hugs:

[Deanna2]

As a few have said, labels tend to get messy as not everyone's definition of each label is necessarily the same.

Being en femme is wearing femme gear, whether it is just panties or full on dressed up - now and again or constantly. It may or may not have anything to do with gender issues. It may indeed be that femme gear is so much more comfortable than male gear. In my own case I feel a whole lot more comfortable and relaxed in a skirt than I do in trousers.

Taking hormones, on the other hand, IS a gender issue. A person may not go all the way to SRS, but at least they start the journey to womanhood.

[Kate Simmons]

:D SEE, this ME thing is kinda strange.
Right now I am sitting here (quite dolled up) and don't even feel transgendered. Transgendered doesn't really relate to the ME. :happy:Yeah, and that's the funny thing. Either way, I don't "feel" transgendered. Seems to me, this is the way it should be (for me at least). I've always been this way, just never understood it until now. To be honest, I thought being "two sided" was normal when I was younger until it hit me like a "rock" especially in my High School days. All of a sudden reaching puberty I found that my peers (both boys and girls) were expected by society to act differently according to their biological sex which I felt sucked big time. This disheartened and confused me to no end as I was "forced" to withhold part of myself. It took me years to realize it was okay to be myself. I'm still picking up the "pieces" even now but am beginning to move forward slowly. Understanding it is one thing. Putting it into practice takes a lot of hard work.:happy: Ericka Kay

[tightsgirl]

I agree with what one of the members said about the all or nothing mentality, I can't speak for everybody else but I CD nearly everyday and I don't want to be a woman. I'm still interested in being with a woman. I look at myself as a hybrid I have male and female traits and hopefully someday I meet somebody who can appreciate that.

[kittypw GG]

I think what Beckii's wife is confused about ( and she is not alone) is that cd's tell their wives that they are heterosexual men who want to wear the clothes of the oposite sex. When wearing those clothes, the cd wears makeup, nailpolish, and wig making them appear to be wanting to look like a women. Some also want to get the gestures and body language of a women down as well. When this is done 24/7 it seems that it is beyond the simple explaination of being a cd and maybe the person is really TS and just doesn't want to admit it or pursue any body altering alternatives. This is like having your words and your actions not match and as a SO of a cd this makes us uncomfortable and worried that our husbands are not telling us the whole truth. It is important to share with your so weither or not you are TS and where you see yourself going and how far. Just my :2c: Kitty

[Sheila]

Transgenderism is a catch-all term about how one expresses one's gender. A transgendered person expresses gender in a non-traditional manner. A wide range of gender expressions may be considered to be transgendered. A few things that may be thought of as transgendered transgendered include:

Dressing in clothes usually associated with members of a different physical gender.

Displaying behavior and dress of people who have a different physical gender.

Not identifing as either male or female. In this case, people may not identify themselves as either a man or a woman.

People with male anatomy seeing themselves partly or completely as females.

People with female anatomy seeing themselves partly or completely as males.
taken from http://www.createdgay.com/tgdef.html

hope this helps

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

i have come to learnt that there are "different" stages/levels with the c/d. "some" merely do it for feel/touch of the f/male clothes, some do it because they want to feel femme BUT not go all the way, and so forth and so forth. from my experince with a c/d its merely for the 1st option, ( thats what he tells me anyways ). all c/d have their own "level", ok so some want to/ do it 24/7 , that is their choosing. :rolleyes:
but you also have to remember that its "oppurtuinty" to get to do this level of c/d, as some have quoted on here, they are family people. jobs etc, so depending on when they get chance to dress, then its them that decide on what their requirements are to dress/become :love:

[Juanita O]

I too have a job that i would like to keep, I have a lot of years invested. I cd because because it fills a need that I have now. I guess that I fill that p/t role because I can't afford to be altered at this point. I love both sides of me and this is how I express my fem side.:hugs:

[Julogden]

A term often used for someone who lives 24/7 in a gender role opposite their birth gender, but without any intentions of reassignment surgery, is transgenderist, a good term, IMO if one needs to label everyone, but that can get people confused with the umbrella term "transgender" that is applied to a broad spectrum of behaviors.

Carol:hugs:

[Rachel Morley]

I think there was a coined term "transgenderist" (I forget who first used it) I think I'm right in saying that it means someone who lives their life in the role of the opposite gender full time but without making permanent changes to their body. (I could be wrong on that definition, I'm sure someone will correct me I am).

My personal feeling is that a TS is a person who desperately feels that their mind and body don't match, that they were born in the wrong body. They are someone who strongly identifies with the opposite gender so much that they want to correct the imbalance by altering their body with hormones which may or may not lead to surgery later. :2c:

A crossdresser can be almost anything, from just underdressing, to something more towards a transgenderist.

[lowlavalentine]

The nomenclature gets pretty fuzzy pretty fast when you are in the transgendered realm. I think there are lots of shades of gray and I'm not sure it pays to try and attach labels.

[Kimberley]

:D SEE, this ME thing is kinda strange.
Right now I am sitting here (quite dolled up) and don't even feel transgendered. Transgendered doesn't really relate to the ME. :happy:

**************
Agreed Marla. Being dressed is just part of the routine. However, going to full transition like Marissa presents a whole host of problems we can avoid. Similarly, we also have to put up with battling the drive for transition. Catch 22?

I dont know which route is better or worse but I do believe that the younger you are, the easier transition can be on all levels; physical, social, career, emotional, you name it.

[Kimberley]

Angel, love the new avatar!

This whole definition thing can be a nightmare and I think that is what messes so many people up. When we really get into the depth of the HBSOC it does allow for some interpretation by the physicians although most stick to the guidelines as gospel. With that interpretation the standards are a lot more flexible in that the "TG" can be recognized as a candidate because of the number of similarities to the "TS". It sort of has a fuzzy line rather than a set of hard definitions.

What if comes down to are feelings and emotions. This is why I wish they would burn that server with the COGIATI on it. So many take that thing as gospel when in fact it is junk. Those "stadards" it perpetuates went out decades ago.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Kate Simmons]

I agree Kimberley. Facts, stats and figures have very little to do with feelings and emotions. That's how I gauge a person, because their feelings are a reflection of who they are inside.:happy: Ericka Kay

[julie w]

I think I am a cd I feel very comfortable dressed as a women and I could go full time or nearly full time ,but I am realistic about doing it .I have a good job as a man and three kids ,I hope I make it to retirement age ,so I can spend more time as julie

[MarinaTwelve200]

I personally would consider a person who thinks that their "real" self is the opposite sex/gender would be more properly called a "Transsexual". Of course, most transsexuals Crossdress to be more "attuned" to "who they really are". Should they be called CDs? It all depends upon how you would define a CD.

Technically, anyone who may wear an article of clothing or clothing exclusively associated with the opposite gender, for whatever reason is a Cross dresser. So the CD lable as a noun dosen't mean much as far as designating a particular TYPE of person goes, its too general. Crossdressing is something one DOES, not what one IS.

People Crossdress in RESPONSE to something ELSE that they ARE. CD is a symptom shared by various, usually unrelated, personality conditions.
Transsexuals may crossdress but are usually reffered to as TRANSSEXUALS (a tendancy to CD is one of the characteristics of TS, just as a cough is one of the symptoms of a cold)

Most educated people consider a person who is CALLED a CD to be generally a hetrosexual individual who may Crossdress on ocasion for reasons other than gender identity or sexual orentation. That is, for example, a fetish, a need to "escape", a need to satisfy a (Fem) side of one's personality, or simply experience the RUSH of breaking a TABOO.

24/7 CDers are more likely really transsexuals (IMHO) and may not fit the common CD criteria. Some homosexuals Can, on the other hand, be CDs, so long as it is for the same reasons of hetro people and they dont identify with the opposite gender(Otherwise they would be transsexual also) Indeed, technically, a TS IS a homosexual of sorts being attracted to the same biosex, but, TS and HS are different conditions (the TS has the Brain of the other biosex, where the HS only has his/her sexuality inverted)

This very question (when is a CD NOT a CD) has sorta vexed ME too, but in another direction. Most CDers seem to go out in public---save for the "closet types" who WANT to go out but are "chicken". What about us PRIVATE CDs? Those who consider short CD sessions at home as a private "self therapy" thing, in the same category like taking a bath or "pleasuring ones self"---"Aint nobodys business but my own" type thing?

Do us private CDers qualify as CD? or is there a necessary social element?

I have recentrly concluded that One is a CD IF CDing achieves the GOAL (the thrill, high, comfort or whatever) that the person Crossdresses to achieve. There is no necessary social element , only the fact that Crossdressing WORKS for a given person, is the only qualification.----if it dont work for you , you aint a CD, if it does you are,

[Marla S]

Agreed Marla. Being dressed is just part of the routine. However, going to full transition like Marissa presents a whole host of problems we can avoid. Similarly, we also have to put up with battling the drive for transition. Catch 22?
You are right, and that's way my private notion has two distinct limits (as distinct as they can be;)) :
Fetishism//[Transgendered ( CD // TS)]
A notion with the view from the outside or the YOU-perspective, in contrast to the ME-perspective where everybody would have to have one's own label (making labels meaningless).
My personal limit is the CD//TS one.
I had/have to decide on which side of the fence I fit in the best.
Seems to be this (male) side, which qualifys me as CD, independent of all the differences I might feel to my fellow CDers or similarity and sympathy I might feel to have with the TS-folks.



I dont know which route is better or worse but I do believe that the younger you are, the easier transition can be on all levels; physical, social, career, emotional, you name it.
I don't think there is a better or worse in general, there is only the best route for an individual.
We are faced with an multidimensional spectrum of feminine/masculine skills and traits, that come in every thinkable combination and has to be forced into our binary gender system.
It's always an appreciation of values within a framework of constraints (personal and social)*.
If the wish to become physically and legaly a representative of the opposite gender is a firm conviction (knowledge) the mentioned 'host of problems' becomes less of a hurdle as for someone who 'only' wishes or 'daydreams' to be a representative of the opposite gender.
For some the decision to come out of the closet might be as struggleing as the decision to transition for others.
This only can be judged on an individual level.

*You are probably right that the younger have more or earlier options, due to the growing awareness and hence weeker constraints.