wife found my girly pics and!!!

[DeniseNJ]

Last night while I was sleeping the wife was on the computer and found the latest pics of Denise

I had taken more pics of Denise in the past 2 months than I did my whole life. My wife really don't like Denise. The other day she noticed my toes polished and she made a negetive remark . I told her I like to polish my toes and that it makes me feel good. She hasn't said anything as of late . I have been shaving my legs for 6 weeks now and she hasn't said anything either. I am sure she noticed. I bought a nice pair of delta burke red panties and had them on last night , she asked why I was wearing those underware. I said that I like to feel feminine. Now Back to the pics, she ask me what I was doing with these pictures and I said I was posting a few them in a crossdresser's forum. Well this morning ,I went on and the whole file was gone about 30 pictures. guess what she forgot to empty the waste basket. Denise is here to stay!!!:happy:

[Calliope]

Well this morning ,I went on and the whole file was gone about 30 pictures. guess what she forgot to empty the waste basket. Denise is here to stay!!!

You two are gonna have a hell of a 2007.

[tekla west]

I could think of better ways to go about it, if I only had a brain.

[Kate Simmons]

I know the feeling ever so well. My wife used to do everything she could to "protect" me from this "woman" I was becoming. She would try to sabotage everything I did rather than face the issue and talk about it. When we did talk about it, it was always her way or the highway. My femme self would have to go or she would (not in so many "words"). Well, Ericka is still here and she is not, even though we are still married. I'd much rather have come to terms and agreements like so many on this Forum have with their SO's but there was no negotiation. Ericka had to die period. Since I can't kill "myself", the only other option was to be by myself. Survival is tricky business. You either do or you don't. I chose to survive.:happy:

[Bethanygirl]

Your relationship needs work dear, come clean with all of your feelings and needs, if she reacts badly, back-off for a while and give her some space. Ultimatly you two need to enter a dialogue if you ever wish to find peace togeather. Compromise, limits, and rules all need to be agreed upon and adhered to for you both to live with this part of you. Remember, even if it seems unfair at times, you are the supplicant, you didn't tell her, or maybe didn't even know yourself how important this is to you when you first got togeather. This means you are asking her to accept a major change in your relationship, so it is on you to find it in yourself to accept her efforts to take time to adjust. I hope the best for both of you honey, good luck!
:hugs:

[RachelDenise]

Sounds like trouble in the making. You two need to sort this out fast or there is going to be a bigger problem than there already is! Start talking now unless you want to be apart. If so, then just do it and get it over with!

[Penny]

It's possible, if you think about it, the more defiant you are, the more negative she could become. Happiness if a happy medium. You are the crossdresser. Fix it while you can. Talk!

:hugs:

Penny

[Raychel]

It sure does sound like a huge fight waiting to happen to me. Taking the photos out of the trash are definitely going against her wishes. NOT GOOD. If she finds out that you got the photos back she will totally freak out on you. Make sure that they are not where she will find them.

My wife is aware of Raychel, although she has no desire to ever see her at this point. She has also requested that there are no photos posted on the web. I have removed all photos that had been posted in the past. I figure if my wife is willing to tolerate this side of me, the least I can do is live with her wishes. She is very slowly learning more about Raychel and seeing more of the items that I like. The more she knows and finds out at her pace, the easier it will be the day that she is ready to actually see the other side of me.

Maybe someday.

[Tina Dixon]

Rocky road ahead and you better burn those pictures to a disk.

[JenniferR771]

Same problem. When I email a pic--fine. When wife emails a pic my browser remembers the last photo file and brings it up as soone as she hits browse. Whoops.
She saw some of my pics which WERE hidden under several layers of sub files. She alsways refuses to discuss crossdressing--so i do not know what or how much she saw. She treatened to delete them and asked me to delete them--even bought me a thumb drive so i could store them separate. Used the thumb drive, but didn't delete anything from C drive.
Actually I want her to see a few, because she has never seen me dressed. But all in good time. I have to remind myself constantly--go slow--give her time. I keep pushing this on her.

[Tatiana Thomas]

Just a hint in case anyone wants to keep the files from being viewed. Rename the extension, example, instead of .gif, .jpg, .bmp and so on. Make the extension something goofy like .tkp ... The catch is, you will have to rename the extension back when you want to view them.

In the event that the pictures are found , as stated in the OP. Just rename the entire file including the extension.

That is, if you do not want to be caught. I know some of us deep down really want to be caught. :heehee:

[Lilith Moon]

Another solution if you want to keep secrets...separate computers, or at least separate user accounts.

[tekla west]

putting them in a password protected file works too

[EricaCD]

Am I the only girl in North America that encrypts sensitive files? My photos aren't confidential any more - Helene is welcome to all of them - but I do have client records and other sensitive documents on my computer all the time. There are any number of utilities, some quite cheap, that will encrypt and decrypt files on the fly. Try them!

In the immediate case, though, the horse is kinda out of the barn. I don't think there's a technological solution for your marital issues...time for some long talks!

Erica

[Amy Hepker]

Hi, I hate to say this, but your wife is telling you something even if you are not listening. If I were you I would back up and figure out what you are going to do. Where is your life going. I have been through this a couple of times and I hate to think what you are in for. If I were you I would do what I can to make amends with her like right now. I would put money on it she is going to leave you or worse if things keep going the way they are. I hope she dosen't have access to a gun. You have over stepped your limits and it ain't going to be good. You may have to put your life on hold ( your femme side) until things are over. I would say your marrage is on it's way out the door. Please stop and think of all the things that you may lose in a break up. I just hope your ready for it.

[Karren H]

All my photos are on a third drive, down deep in sub directories, marked "Hidden" and have the folder specs withhidden files not viewale ......need to be more careful

Love Karren

[danam]

This thread is important to me because someday it will likely happen to me. I haven't been caught yet. The operative word is "yet".

I'm storing my best photos on Photobucket.com. It is free and anonymous. I delete my bad photos immediately. I can ALWAYS replace bad photos! I can access the photos anytime via the homepage link on my crossdressers.com profile. So can you all, come to think of it! :D

When I need to temporarily store photos on the HD, I periodically rename the folder in which the files reside. This is because Photoshop keeps a recently used file list. Renaming the folder messes up the file references. Yes, I use photoshop to improve my pictures.

I do not use encryption because I feel that it draws unnecessary attention, like telling the world, "I have a secret!". Instead, I use "security through obscurity" by burying the pictures deep within boring folders.

I use Firefox as a browser because it has a very handy way to clear all viewing history. Click Tools->Options->Privacy->Clear All. I do this after every session.

Right now I am peeved at Overstock.com because they keep my purchase history. And there are some "items" which would be difficult to explain, should my wife ever check the list. And we do check the list when we have to return items. Fortunately, as a retailer, the company is going downhill and we don't shop there much anymore. Except, Dana does! :devil:

Another weakness is walking around the house in heels and a skirt suit. Oh, but it feels so good!


Dana

[Karren H]

Dana.....If you have Xp, use the Guest account and turn it on and off when you need it, that way any settings are kept in the Guest ID and no one can accidentilly bump into them from the main account..... you can also access you photos from the guest account on your HD by setting the folder oftions in all accounts... Gueat to view hidden files, all others should be set to not view hidden files...

Love Karren

[suzy]

Dana,

Be as open and honest about this as you can be. If you have made up your mind then, by all means, stick to it. But discuss it openly and try to come to a resolution. Try to be understanding with her.:hugs:

[melissaK]

Your relationship needs work dear, come clean with all of your feelings and needs, if she reacts badly, back-off for a while and give her some space. Ultimately you two need to enter a dialogue if you ever wish to find peace togeather. Compromise, limits, and rules all need to be agreed upon and adhered to for you both to live with this part of you. Remember, even if it seems unfair at times, you are the supplicant, you didn't tell her, or maybe didn't even know yourself how important this is to you when you first got togeather. This means you are asking her to accept a major change in your relationship, so it is on you to find it in yourself to accept her efforts to take time to adjust. I hope the best for both of you honey, good luck!
:hugs:

Well, that's a keeper. Cut and paste and refer to often.

[DeniseNJ]

I want to clear the air here. My wife has know about my cross dressing since the early part of out relationship. It was her that suggested me dress as a girl and go to a halloween party with her back in the late 80's just after we met. What a night that was!!!{ pic inserted from then}. For about 5 years years dressing was a part of our sex. I had some fun but she would only take it so far, It got to a point that dressing was such a turn on that I wanted to do it always before sex. She thought that she didn't turn me on anymore and the only way I was turned on was by me dressing like a woman. I guess she saw that I was liking it too much and thought that maybe I was dressing because I was gay. I don't think I am gay , guys don't turn me on. pretty girls do it for me. She saw how I took it to the next level with shaving at times and the need to feel feminine. I guess she is trying to protect me from making a bad decession. She knows that I am open , willing and fun to be around, a combination that can lead to something else. I really just blossomed since her son moved out and Denise can be herself. That is about the time I found this site. I will heed your warnings and try to chill out but when these feelings are bottled up for so long and the fantacy of meeting others and going out enFemme are close to reality that excitement is hard to surpress

[tekla west]

The Apple browser has a setting so that no history is ever recorded.

Aux drives are now pretty cheap, as are CDRs, easy enough NOT to store on your computer.

[Bethanygirl]

OOF! There is a LOT more to the story, you had better learn control dear, you have pushed a lot of your wifes buttons without dialogue. It is time to talk to her clearly about this, and even more, about what she really means to you. She may just need to hear from you about that right about now!

[Christina Nicole]

Denise,

You may find it easier to back off a bit than to keep pushing your wife's limits. She is going to feel that you're all about "me me me" and there's nothing for her. In such circumstances, things can get very bad so very quickly that it becomes difficult to compromise. If you don't want to be heading for a divorce, back up a little bit.

Regarding the computer... There are a few things you can do. Encryption is ok, but when someone finds and encrypted file, they want to know what is encrypted and why. Not a good choice. Second problem with encryption... Some of the people who write the encryption algorithms don't have degrees in mathematics and training in cryptology. Thus their encrypted stuff is easily broken. The encrypted form of pkzip is the most well-known example of that.

Better would be storing your files on a USB flash drive. A 1GB unit is less than $50 and will hold hundreds of large format lightly compressed jpegs. Simply remove the flash drive when you leave the computer and keep it with you. Remember to unmount the file system first!

Secondly, upgrade to either Mac OS X or Windows XP. Mac OS has UNIX underpinnings and therefore supports multiple users. Windows XP has NT underpinnings (version 5.1) and also supports multiple users. Both systems can be setup to first require a login. Setup a separate login for yourself and another one for your wife or an "everyone else" user. Store your files with read/write permissions that are only accessible to you. Explorer and Finder both have a section to change security information. Right click for properties in Explorer and chose the security tab. Select GetInfo in Finder and open the Ownership and Permission dock. Remember to log out when you leave the computer and either leave the system at the login screen or log back into the "everyone else" user. Probably no one will be the wise if you always use the "everyone else" user logged in when you leave the machine.

Linux users know how to use security, so I'll make no mention of that. Any other scheme (hidden folders, obfuscated file names and directory paths, etc) is inherently not secure. Relying on the ignorance of the other person probably isn't the best plan.

While technology can help with the “she found my files” problem, it cannot help with the wearing panties, etc problems. You need to address both issues.


Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[melissaK]

Denise,
Better would be storing your files on a USB flash drive. A 1GB unit is less than $50 and will hold hundreds of large format lightly compressed jpegs. Simply remove the flash drive when you leave the computer and keep it with you. Remember to unmount the file system first!


Been buying them as Christmas gifts for everyone this year - dirt cheap - $4.99 at Fry's, cool snowboard shapes and surf board shapes at Circuit City for $14.99 each. Can't beat that with a stick.

And yikes, Chritina Nicloe is right about other schemes not being secure. On my WinXp based system I have scared myself several times when I load a new camera's photo album program and it searches my hard drive to build a photo library and they burn right through "locked" and "hidden" file attributes set by WinXp or another vendors camera program and shows me "thumbnails" of well, photos I didn't think I'd be seeing.