Do not quite pass

[Kimkandy]

I went out on another en femme local shopping trip and everything was fine.

I bought a little black shift dress and was walking back home minding my own business when I was read by four black guys.

They joked about me being one of their girlfriends. I walked on, but they followed and I got a punch in the ear.

I need to be more careful in future, it was only 6pm, already dark. I thought it was better to walk away rather than confront them.

Kim

:dom: :Pullhair: :beatup: :Punch:

[Chiana]

That sucks. Sorry to hear it but I guess you are OK, thank goodness.

[Debra Lynn]

Young Males, projecting thier manhood. My what an upbringing they must have had and how scared they must be of anything feminine that could possibly call into question that manhood. Thank goodness you are allright. It just goes to show that confrontation can happen anytime, what a shame we live in a society that often has no tolerance for anything different. Another shame that 4 black guys don't remember the history that their ancestors went through not all that long ago....

[ArleneRaquel]

Dear Kim,

I am very sorry to read that you had such a horrble experience. Teenage boys are a problem here on the NW Side of Chicago, I 've been verbally assulted many times, but it has never gone beyond words. " Fag " and " Drag Queen " are their favorite barbs. :love: to Kim and PLEASE Stay Safe Maureen

[Madeleine]

Hope you are OK

Luv Madeleine...

[Kenix]

Be careful and I am glad that you are OK :hugs:

[carla smith]

Kim,
So sorry to hear about your ordeal. It must have been terrible! Hope you are ok.

Ya gotta know where not to be at and the wrong time to be there! :idontknow:

[Sierra Evon]

Ditto , Kim sorry that had to happen to you , glad your finding comfort hear , I was crossing the street where I live & stopped at the light as I was crossing was huge monster truck, with jerk guys inside as I passed in front of the trucks grill , they blasted the horn at me and proceeded to laughf and say obsenities to me , this happened about 2 months ago, soo ya I know the feeling and its always out there and it sucks, but just be a bigger person than they are , and I'm sure you are.:hugs:

[Calliope]

WTF, what a bummer! I would have been terrified.



I thought it was better to walk away rather than confront them.


Four of them - you bet.

I would guess this unfortunate event will put a damper on your next few outings - grrrr, it's so unfair !


Big symapathies.

[StacyCD]

Glad your ok! From your avatar I would not have guessed that they would have read you. I guess that what happened to you is my worst fear about going out.

[Butterfly Bill]

You might reduce the probability of this happening again by

*dressing more conservatively. (Were you wearing this little black shift dress, and how little was it?)
*not going certain places in darkness (think: would a GG feel safe about going to a place your're going?)

If you had been a real girl, something similar might have happened, just this time they would think they could put the make on you and they would be angry at your snubbing them. (That may have been what really happened in your case; I don't know what exactly they said to you.) This the kind of thing that women have to deal with on a daily basis

I have someone say "faggot" or other such words to me thru a car window at a frequency of sometimes as often as once a month. But for every one of these, there are 20 women who smile at me.

[MJ]

Kim
i am sorry to hear that. i do hope you are OK. please don't let this episode stop you from going out.. :hugs:

[Amy Hepker]

I am sorry to hear that Kim. Please be more careful next time. You are enjoying your life the way you want, but getting beat up is not the way it's supposed to end. Myself, I would probably get some friends together and find those a--holes.

[Cindy1512]

Kim I hope you are ok and not too shaken up ?

Please be careful.

[Noel Chimes]

Kim, I am truly sorry about what happened to you. And they wonder why people are filing more and more applications to carry guns.
I wonder how they would feel if they were attacked by a group of purse weilding sisters. Let's see their "macho" egos live that down. I hope they are arrested and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

[Bethanygirl]

I always live like most inner-city gg's, keep car keys in hand, carry mace and mugger squealer/horn, try to find someone to accompany me, park in well-lighted parking close to my destination, etc. Women need to be wary of assault always, it sucks, but if you are out enfemme, you need to do more than look like a woman, you need to think like one. It may just be good that they made you, what might these four have done if they thought you were a real gg? Welcome to a women's world girls, time for the mindset!

I am so sorry you had a bad experience, I hope you learn from it, and not let it keep you from being you one iota...
:hugs:

[Glenda58]

Sorry to hear that you had trouble walking home. But they sound like they would have pick on you in the male roll also because you were alone walking. Hope this doesn't stop you from going out in femme just be careful and don't go out alone at night:hugs:

[Kimkandy]

*dressing more conservatively. (Were you wearing this little black shift dress, and how little was it?)
*not going certain places in darkness (think: would a GG feel safe about going to a place your're going?)

No, I was buying the dress... (wearing it now) I was wearing a coat.

The street I was walking down is almost a high street in Tottenham, further down it goes past the football ground. Not that this had anything to do with football.

Personally it seems to me whatever someone is wearing does not give someone else permission to attack the other person.

Thanks for all the support. I can maybe accept some verbal abuse if I get read while crossdressing, but I can't see any reason this gives anyone the right to attack people.

Maybe me wearing a dresses is somehow an attack on his manhood. Same reason behind gay bashing.

I'll just be a bit more carefull in future. It won't stop me going out.

Kim

:dom: :Playnice:

[Jesse69]

I think it was gay bashing. You can't beat 4 guys - overmatched unless you know karate! That's why I make sure I 100% pass or else I don't go out en femme.

[Penny]

Goes to show you, ignorance is not bliss! Glad you are ok.

:hugs:

Penny

[Felicia Conti]

Dear Kim,

I am sorry to hear about what happened to you. I know how hurtful this kind of situation can be. I shutter to think of how many times I have gone out alone because there is no one available to go out.

None of us pass all of the time. I have seen gorgeous ts ladies who sometimes get read and even gg's who are read as tg's.

Your story reminds me of a time in Key West where I was attacked several years ago. I had been out at the drag clubs with a gg friend and we were both dressed in drag attire and I had on a platinum blonde wig at the time. We went to a local bar late at night and I was attacked by a huge guy. Fortunately, the attacker ended up on the short end of the stick this time. I was very upset for a long time afterwards and wrote the following as a way to vent my upsetness.

Beware of Bubba

Beware of Bubba. You recognize him as he enters the room by the glazed look in his eyes and sense his presence by the way the hair on the back of your neck straightens and your stomach starts to knot. He has spotted you. “I like girls, not guys who look like girls” rushes through his thoughts. Attempting to fight back the initial attraction that started the chemical chain of events from the brain pathways, he clenches his fists and bites down hard as the veins in his neck protrude to absorb the flow of blood that originally targeted his loin area. Abhorrence of anything that disturbs his image of clear gender roles bubbles from every pore on Bubba’s chafed skin. Automatically shutting off the flood of male hormones, emotions, and sensual excitement that challenge his sense of who he is and what it is that attracts him, Bubba’s reptilian brain takes over. Does he run or does he fight? He senses your femininity, your softness, and your vulnerability. His rage intensifies as he knows that running away is not a necessity, not an option. He cannot loose by attacking just as does at home when his wife and little ones step out of line. You are small, defenseless, he is powerful and ready to snuff out your worthless existence. “Faggot”, he says, his reptilian brain unable to recognize that transgendered has nothing to do with sexual preference, “I’m gonna **** you up”. He attacks, you respond. Life is precious, don’t let him end your life. Who survives? What changes? Beware of Bubba!

Just a reminder that Bubba is out there. I have experienced him at least on several occasions and in various locations and was surprised to learn that he is living and working in Key West. No place is sacred. Be careful!

Felicia Conti

[Delila]

Kim
Very glad your ok :) it really is a shame that these things happen in this modern seemingly more tolerant day and age. Have you thought about some kind of protection. When I go out I always carry something be it in my purse or my wifes just to make sure we are safe (not a gun btw) I strongly recommend something similar for you. Its just not safe for any lady anywhere these days. That said I really hope that this won't scare you out of future outings there are just too few of us bold enough to show the world we are here and there is nothing they can do about it.

[Angie G]

As long as your ok hun the world is full of assholes hun :hugs:
Angie

[x_girl]

Kim,
I'm glad that you are ok and that you won't give them the power to alter your life.

I am also surprised that you were read. You look great.

[Melissa Ryan]

I too am really sorry this has happened to you. I not goin to say be careful and all coz truth is, you just dont know do you?! I really do hope that you can see that 4 idiots egging each other doesnt constitute that all the world is full of the same stupidity. I say this because I hope that you will continue to allow yourself to live as you want to. I would be so devastated by this act too though. I am truly sorry it has happened to you. It shouldnt happen to anyone! Hope your ok, and wishing you all the best.....:happy:

[Kate Simmons]

Kimmy, My heart goes out to you, Hon. Not only did they attack you physically and hurt you by their words, they attacked the sweet person you are within. You were right to walk away from it as the odds were against you. No point in dignifying people of this nature anyway by any kind of response. You have the right to be yourself, never forget that.I just want you to know you are loved by us regardless of what happens but please be careful as we all must be.Who knows, what we do today may soften someone in the future. Take care my friend and enjoy being you.:love: :hugs:

[Joy Carter]

I'm glad your safe but Hun don't go out alone. Do get some mace and be prepared to use it at the least sign of a threat. Like them trying to get near you after voicing verbal threats or intimidation. All you need to say to prove your case is that you felt threatened. My self I'm big but I'm also fifty seven. So my endurance would be brief if push comes to shove. One thing I have always told some aggressor that he may beat me but he will be walking away with a limp.

[Karren H]

Ouch...they hit you? I stay away from places where young kids congragate.... pass or not, it's safer all around.

Karren

[Billie1]

Granted, any type of physical confrontation is intolerable (and not to mention criminal, with what are called "special circumstances" or "hate crimes" here in the States) but, I'm glad to hear that was all that happened. But, beyond the physical abuse, take some time to think about the psycological attack that these pack animals unleashed upon you. Long after the discomfort has gone away, the emotional pain will still be there. Try to deal with it by drawing support from all of your sisters here. We all realize that there can be serious ramifications from what we do, and thank goodness that these types of assaults do not occurr more frequently. Like the rest of us, I realize that you will not stop CD'ing because of this. So, with that fact understood, an approach-avoidence conflict will set up in your psyche. It will have to be resolved in a manner that you can live with, so this incident can be put in the past, and you can go on. Do not under-estimate the effect that this will have on you. There is a great group here, and I believe that everyone feels a little bit of your pain. We all know that what we do isn't easy, and we've conditioned ourselves to the hardships and problems that can arise from lifestyle choices such as ours. So use that conditioning as an athlete would to put this behind you, and move on. And even though there were four of these cretins, remember that there are a couple of hundred of us that can kick their collective asses in a minute!

Take heart, take care!

[marie354]

I'm really sorry about that. Really scarry. I'm planning an outing sometime in Jan. But I'm NOT going alone. At least 1 other person and maybe 2 others want that first experience. Not sure what we'll do the first time out... Lunch maybe, or shopping. But I think we'll have some fun anyway.
Again I'm really sorry that you had to experience something like that.

:hugs: :love: :hugs:

[finacarina]

wow sounds frightening. Im glad your ok your such a cutie!

[Gisele]

I hope you get past this quickly and don't let it get you down dear!



This is why I never leave home without my firearm in my purse! Or in guy mode on my hip and covered. (I have a CCW lic. BTW)

I've had to use (pull it out) once in many years of having one. It was me or him and he gave up first...THANK GOD!

police never caught him.


Always be on red alert when out and about dressed! I am at a yellow when in guy mode but a full red when Beth. It is just way to easy to be a female target.

[stacylynn1]

Hi Kim glad you are ok just wanted to say some of the outher's say to carry mace well if you want to make sure you walk away from something like this you might want to have a good knife in your outher hand as you use your mace I know not too nice but works real well
huggs stacylynn1

[gennee]

I hope that you are ok. Don't let them stop you from going out. It will be a victory for you-and do be careful.

Gennee

:thumbsup:

[MsJanessa]

I am sorry to hear that Kim. Please be more careful next time. You are enjoying your life the way you want, but getting beat up is not the way it's supposed to end. Myself, I would probably get some friends together and find those a--holes.
And take care of the one at a time, slowly and with whips. while you are dressed head to toe in black leather--if you would like some help darling or just want to borrow one of My outfits to wear while you do that just let Me know.:dom: