Different Personality

[Mary Morgan]

This week, my wife and I hosted a number of family and friends at our home. They had come from all over the country to attend my Mom's memorial service. Some of them know I am transgender, some don't. As a result, I spent the last few days being my male self and am dissapointed in what I projected in that role. I was one of the guys, did guy things, hung with the guys, cigars, beer, etc. I hated it. I really didn't enjoy the time at all. I kept finding myself wanting to be with the gals. I didn't handle it well at all. I was louder than I want to be. We talked of politics and war, and the economy, and all kinds of controversial things, and in listening to myself I found discomfort in who I am as a man, an overcompensating, insensitive, guy. I know it doesn't have to be that way, but it was, and I don't like myself very much. Do any of you find yourselves feeling this way? or is it time to go back to the couch? Louise

[Calliope]

We talked of politics and war, and the economy, and all kinds of controversial things [...]


None of which really says much about each person, let alone how they feel. All that newspaper jabber - it's like dogs bark because they can but they're not communicating to each other.

[Sharon]

Heck, I do most of that no matter how I'm dressed! :p

Not the cigars, though..., ick!

[Sierra Evon]

Tottaly , yep !!!!, thats how I felt about a year ago , at an exact simalir situation , thats when I really discoverd my feeling and developed myself as being more female minded than guy minded.......

[Kate Simmons]

As Ericka, I hang with the guys, drink beer and smoke cigars but we don't talk about the news, we talk about fun stuff. Not only that but they like dancing with me. I like it anyway, hell of a lot more fun than being Richard and hanging with the guys. Okay, I'm a "nut"(or so I've been told)what else is new? Even so, I can hang with the guys as Rich also but I'm usually the one who makes the fun.:heehee: EKR

[Chiana]

For as long as I can remember, when I go to our annual family reunions, I spend most of my time talking with my female cousins. I relate to them much better. And I prefer to spend time with them. I don't really care what anyone thinks. I certainly don't relate to the cigar smoking, beer drinking side of the family and I see no need to hang out with them. We discuss a lot of things, but I am very careful in not engaging in conversations with my cousins about dresses, heels, purses, make up, etc. But I do listen. :heehee:

[Michellebej]

Louise,

I know how you feel. I have three personalities. The Primary, which is an integration of my two extremes, and which is a tad more feminine than masculine.

A macho personality that is only used in certain military applications. Like keeping my butt alive.

And; Me! Most of my girlfriends (GGs) tell me I'm more girlie than most of them. Compasionate, caring, mostly submissive, and middle of the roader politically.

The macho guy is not quite the a@@hole that most of his peers are. He doesn't like me about as much as I dont' like him.

The Pimary is mostly me in drab. But; is also a father and son. Is very comfortable being a man; is to the right politically, but; has some firm liberal stands. Very comfortable with me and does not have a problem doing thing like playing with Dolls with his daughter ( when she was a little girl) or going shopping with her now.

I think you are just normal.

Love

Michelle

[Marla S]

I think this is part of the deal.

Having to participate in a boys evening can be annoying for me too.
It becomes worse if I trap myself adapting to the typical boyish behavior.

It depends a lot on who the others are and how the they behave, though.
Beer, cigars, political discussions etc. are not the problem.

[AnnaMaria]

When I was in the army I was that way just about all the time but, at that time I didn't know about my other side. Now when I get together with family I tend to avoid situations where it is only the men of the family and stay more around the women. I do still enjoy talking with my uncles about guns and family matters simply because on my dad's side of the family it seems as it the males are the domonant figures in the family and they are the ones who know everything that is going on. Of course then there is my sister who I avoid completely because we have never gotten along, but that is another story.

The point is that since I figured out what was really going on with me and why I have always felt out of place with the men of my family I have been making a concious effort of avoid situations which will allow the male prick side of my personallity to surface and show he ass and, thus far it seems to be working out pretty well.

Anna

[Joy Carter]

Louse even when when I was a young stud/dud. My eye for the ladies was quite keen, but it was wishing I could dress like they do. Just hated to be siting in the bar with my friends and they would aske me what I was thinking. I have to gal-pals now. But one's married and I have to be cool with her, and the other is still my friend but does not know what to make of me.

[Mary Morgan]

Ladies, I guess this a "normal" situation, and I thank you all for sharing your thoughts. Oh, I wish I could just be me and go with it, or not. Maybe somday. Louise

[MJ]

well i never did the guy thing. it was just not me.

[janet p]

When with the family I don't favor one side or the other I float around only a few know about me but I have a feeling after this year most with know because I've came out to my gay god-son(nephew). I also love to sit around my apartment in my favorite dress and enjoy a good cigar.:love: