What I learned on this forum

[danam]

Been on this forum a few weeks, pretty heavily, after 30 or so years of secrets and denial. Been absorbing info like a sponge. Here is a summary of what I have learned:


Alone. I am not alone. There are TONS of people like me: Normal straight guys in regular life who love to CD.
Age. Most posters are older. Something about age makes it easier to CD. When I was 15, I was confused by it. When I was 25, I hid from it. At 35, I'm experimenting a lot. More is coming, as I get older. Eh?
Permanance. This has always been a part of me. It always will be.
Spouses. Spouses generally freak out when they learn. But a strong relationship can survive with good communication and mutual compromise.
Complex versus simple CDing can be confusing and complex, or a simple pleasure. After years of contemplation, I've decided that it is a simple thing for me. I enjoy it and get a real kick out of it. Otherwise, I'm a perfectly normal guy. Nothing more than that.
Problems: CD as a "Cause" versus an "Effect". Two categories of problems: 1. CDing can cause problems for straight guys who get caught or are confused. 2. CDing can be one effect of a larger, more complex gender identity problem. Thankfully, I know I am not the latter.
Faith. CDing has improved my faith because I have many CD-related fantasies that can not and will not occur on this world. So I have to believe that I will get to experience them in the next one. See my thread, "Short Story: My Vision of Heaven" for one of those (otherwise impossible) wishes.
Discipline and moderation. CDing can improve your life if it is controlled and moderated. It can ruin a life without proper discipline. But this is true of all of life's pleasures. Like vodka, for instance. :happy:


Do I make sense?

[Kieron Andrew]

Like vodka, for instance. :happy:

Do I make sense?
did someone mention vodka???

yup you made sense!

[Calliope]

Otherwise, I'm a perfectly normal guy.

Um, does that mean I'm abnormal ?


CDing can be one effect of a larger, more complex gender identity problem. Thankfully, I know I am not the latter.


Thankfully, I am.

[Penny]

Yes, you are right; yes you are not alone. We all love pretty!

:hugs:

Penny

[Thora]

"Discipline and moderation. CDing can improve your life if it is controlled and moderated. It can ruin a life without proper discipline. But this is true of all of life's pleasures. Like vodka, for instance. "

It can be about dicipline. Or you can look at it as comfort. You only go as far as you are comfortable. Remember, your comfort is partially controled by the people in your life. If they are uncomfortable, you will be also.

So; Be full time or be part time. Wear T-shirt and jeans or wear a ballgown. Be open or be closeted. Just stay within your comfort zone. And stay safe.


It's ok to strech the comfort zone. Just do it gently.

[Jesse69]

Well, I think CDing damaged my life and does not increase my faith. I would have had a great social life if not for CDing. People hate me for CDing...

[Shannon CD]

I think that your post was well thought out and expressed. I agree with most, but I would caution that in the future you may want to qualify certain statements so as to be a bit more diplomatic. E.G. "Thankfully, I know I am not the latter," may have been better presented like; "Thankfully, FOR ME, I know I am not the latter," or simply "I, myself, am not the latter."

It's just that everyone here is at a different level with their gender identity. For example, I consider myself a part-time CD/TV. I like to dress when I can and enjoy going out dressed on occasion. I would have loved to have been born a feminine female (yes, I described it that way on purpose) but do not believe that I was born in the wrong body...yet. But I have received acceptance, support, and understanding from gurls on this forum who are at either extreme or anywhere in the middle. I love them all for this and would never want to alienate any of them.

I'm sure that your comment was not intended to offend, and rest assured that you did not offend me. I believe it was a simple faux pas that was meant to share who you are and was not meant as a judgement.

Thank you for letting me babble.

[occdresser]

I agre with everything you said :thumbsup:

[vbcdgrl]

Yes, Dana, your observations are very insightful. I have come to many of the same conclusions since joining this forum.


Vikki

[danam]

No, I do not mean to offend. Thank you for pointing that out--and for understanding that I made a number of faux pas in my post. I deeply regret offending anyone.

I should say instead that I'm thankful for having made it to an age in which I have many things sorted out. This was not true when I was younger. And I've discovered that my issues are quite simple, in the end. I'm thankful for the simplicity of it all, I guess. Nothing more than that.

[janet p]

Whoa thats heavy man er Girl. You have hit the nail on the head.:love: :love: :love:

[Chiana]

Yup, makes sense to me...

[Bethanygirl]

Heavy is asking yourself why you ever let it get so complex for you in the first place. What will really mess with your head is whether you were responsible for your younger confusion, or whether society was...
Hmmm.......:confused2:

[Marla S]

Seems right.
You've learned fast.:thumbsup:
I am not sure if I am already there.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, someone actually takes notes? Took me years to learn all that stuff. In the end though, the Vodka sounds like the most appealing. I'm with you Kieron. As Tina says, eat, drink and be "Mary". Can't beat that with a stick!:cheers: :happy:

[Kimberley]

Kay, you can have the vodka, I'll take single malt scotch. Oh, and for breakfast, the captain's private stock on my corn flakes.

Danam, a lot of what you say here makes sense, certainly for the TV/CD but fot those with gender identity disorder (I detest that term but use it only as a point of reference) it goes much deeper and gets extremely complex.

Still, excellent observations, well articulated, and you are learning quickly.

:hugs:
Kimberley