My 17 year old son figured it out . . .

[TxKimberly]

. . . and all is well.
My son is addicted to the PC and I told him I needed it for a minute because I wanted to check my e-mail. Well, he hovered around me and the PC (his usual tactic when he wants to annoy me in to getting off the PC) until I finally told him I wasn't going to use it until he backed off and gave me some privacy. That's when he informed me that I didn't "need to hide it, I know all about it". Well, I may have been born at night, but it weren't LAST night, so I asked him to elaborate - "What do you know all about"?
Gotta give the boy credit, he didn't want to out me in front of his mother so I had to insist that I hide nothing from my wife, and "please go on and tell us what you think is going on".
Turns out he was typing a web address into the browser that started with "C" and guess what MSIE so helpfully did for him? It looked for recently visited web sites starting with "C" and brought them up for him. In case you haven't figured it out yet, THIS web page starts with "C":
"http://www.crossdressers.com".
I wanted to talk but he had little interest. He is 100% Unimpressed and Unconcerned - he literally does not appear to care. Even though he didn't appear to have any burning questions, I had things I needed him to know.
I explained a number of things, including the fact that (other then possibly the CDing in the first place) I have NEVER done anything (related to CDing :-)that he wouldn't approve of or consider the act of a decent person.
Shocked me pretty bad, but as far as he is concerned, it's a great big NON-event. In my opinion, just about the best possible outcome. Wow - and to think I've been terrified of this for 17 years!
So the good news - my son appears to be a decent person that can see beneath the skin (and clothes). All is well, feel like I ducked a bullet and think its time for a cocktail!
Kim (AKA Dad)

[MJ]

good for you. i am happy it worked out for you my 17 year old son also know and is somewhat ok he call's me daddy mom, but the next step is to get him to see me en femme. i wish he would

[Avsblues19]

I am glad everything worked out for you. If you want to know how to turn the recent history off, so that when he types "C," www.crossdressers.com won't come up, do this:

Go to Tools (on your browser),
Then click the "Content" tab,
Then click the "AutoComplete..." button,
Then uncheck the box where it says "Use AutoComplete for Web Addresses"

[uknowhoo]

Well how cool is that!! I bet it's a bit of a relief not having to be too concerned about the privacy thingy around the house! It's really not that surprising to me though, kids coming up nowadays seem to be a) more open minded, and b)not so easily impressed. Cool news!

[Holly]

Kim, that's just the BEST news. Our kids do amaze us, don't they?

[Bethanygirl]

Kim, I'm glad you feel good about it, and that it all worked out ok for you. I am not really suprised though, kids have their own identities, and are not easily phased by things like this, I would imagine that it was a big non-event for him as well. Good luck, I hope you find whatever you want in life, your family will always be there for you, that is why they are precious!

[nancy58]

Ouch! I'm glad it turned out to be okay for you and your son. This is one thing that Windows XP or Linux can help prevent, if you use it correctly, or the Firefox browser. If you have Windows 98 or Windows ME, that's another story.

Windows XP and Linux both allow you to give each person who uses the computer his own account and private workspace. If you're using this web site and live with others who might be discomfited by your "hobby", then everyone in the house should have his/her own account and password. This is a good idea anyway -- you don't want your kids getting into your Quicken account or certain other things on your computer.

Firefox has a useful feature called "clear private data" that allows you to quickly kill the browsing history (the feature that your son bumped into), cache, cookies, and just about anything else that could send people here. Just be sure to go to another web site (like CNN, MSNBC, whatever floats your boat) before you do it. I think Internet Explorer has a feature like that, too, but I don't use it, so I don't know.

As has been said before, never, ever visit sites like this on your work computer or in public spaces like a library. It's possible for employers to track every web site you visit, and to link it to you, and clearing the cache, cookies, and browsing history are no defense against hidden monitoring programs and forensic software. Conversely, the cable company at home isn't going to care what web sites you visit, so long as it's not something that could land them in legal hot water or result in them getting a subpoena.

Gee, I sound like a geek, but I hope it helps.

Nancy

[Glenda58]

Kim that's great glad he's OK with it. I know when we talked last a few weeks ago you didn't know how to tell him and how he would react. Looks like you have a happy family now.

[Karren H]

WOW! That's why he has his computers...and I have mine...and the daughter has hers and the wife doesn't use any of them at all.... lol

Karren

[mona lisa]

Turns out he was typing a web address into the browser that started with "C" and guess what MSIE so helpfully did for him? It looked for recently visited web sites starting with "C" and brought them up for him.

That is why I always delete all temporary folders, history, and temporary files after using a computer. (No matter whose computer it is.)

[Jesse69]

If I had kids it would be hard to hide my habit... I guess they would know but it'd tell them it's something you shouldn't do. Though I do it...

[Rachel Morley]

Wow, that's great news. We have a 16 year old boy in our house who doesn't know (at least I don't think he does, but I do dress in some fairly girly clothes in boy mode) anyway, my wife and I have been wondering if we should tell him or not. Maybe he'll be just like your son......but then again, I am the evil step Dad :devil:

[Samantha B L]

Hi there Kimberly,I'm really glad for you that your son is cool with your dressing!I'm in a postition where the same thing could potentially happen to me.I never married but I have a nephew that I'm super close to.there have even been a couple of long stretches of time that we lived in the same house together along with my Mom and Sister.I have a pc and I had a webtv for a long time and they both would come around and use it when their computer was down.Fortunately they didn't do anything that would electronically trigger off any signs of the transgender stuff that's often on there.Or,of course.http://www.crossdr..I think that if they did find out there's a 2/3 to 3/4 chance that they'd be okay with it.My nephew and sister are very liberal.But still,it's all very daunting.Mom would forgive it but grudgingly.Now my sister has suggested moving again in a year or 2 and I just dread the prospects of "sharing" a computer if she gets wild ideas about economy measures and doesn't want 2,3 or more separate computer lines in one house.Oh well,I guess that the worst case scenario is 10-15 minutes of shouting.Anyway,Kim,that's a cool story about you and your son.Samantha

[Dixie Darling]

Now my sister has suggested moving again in a year or 2 and I just dread the prospects of "sharing" a computer if she gets wild ideas about economy measures and doesn't want 2,3 or more separate computer lines in one house.Oh well,I guess that the worst case scenario is 10-15 minutes of shouting.Anyway,Kim,that's a cool story about you and your son.Samantha

I do my best to 'erase my tracks' also, but there is always the possibility of missing something. As an extra safeguard I created logons for anyone in the family you might ever use the PC. Mine is the only one which requires a password and I make sure that I do a 'log out' when I leave the PC for ANY reason. Additionally, I've made any folders containing 'sensitive information' hidden.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Stephenie S]

Well, Ive said before that we often don't give our families enough credit for being accepting.

I have told the story here before of when our kids were young I had all my stuff locked up (safely, I thought) in a trunk in my bedroom. Years later I heard from my kids that they had been into that trunk and had been disapointed that they found only women's clothes.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Calliope]

Having an exciting few days lately, aren't we, dear?

3 cheers!

[Angie G]

Great news all being ok I don't know if my son would be ok with it :hugs:
Angie

[older not wiser]

Hi Kim, I read and re-read your post and to be honest I'm just a little bit skeptical of the fact that your son is so willing to accept this. Please don't misunderstand me but most 17 yr olds have a "blackmail" streak in them. This is not to say that your son does but rather a fact of life. Please be careful in further interaction as this thing may come back to bite you. I truly wish you all the happiness in this world. May God grant you and your family love, acceptance and forgivness.


:love: BonnieAnne

[Melissa Ryan]

All will be fine! He might wonder about it, but no biggie. Most kids are ok with learning new things. Even as far as a male in their life dressing as a female. After all its us as adults who mould them. And yes, I am speaking from experience.

Congrats to you! You AND your wife seem to have brought up a kid who isnt a bad one! Good luck! :happy:

[Kate Simmons]

My two boys found my "stash" when they were 16 and 17 respectively one day while I was working(no explanation as to why they were rooting in the bottom of my wardrobe). My wife explained to them what it was. As you said, it was basically a non-event. They did kind of hover around me for a while after that. I think it was basically to ensure that I was still their Dad and to make sure I was okay. They seemed to take it in stride and life went on as usual even though it was never mentioned again. I guess they realized their Dad wasn't going anywhere despite his interesting "hobby".:happy: EKR

[LauraKCD]

Hi Kim, I read and re-read your post and to be honest I'm just a little bit skeptical of the fact that your son is so willing to accept this. Please don't misunderstand me but most 17 yr olds have a "blackmail" streak in them. This is not to say that your son does but rather a fact of life. Please be careful in further interaction as this thing may come back to bite you. I truly wish you all the happiness in this world. May God grant you and your family love, acceptance and forgivness.


:love: BonnieAnne

Blackmail Streak is very correct - It happened to me!
Laura

[gerdaberlin]

As you said, it was basically a non-event. They did kind of hover around me for a while after that. I think it was basically to ensure that I was still their Dad and to make sure I was okay. They seemed to take it in stride and life went on as usual even though it was never mentioned again. I guess they realized their Dad wasn't going anywhere despite his interesting "hobby".:happy: EKR[/QUOTE]


but ericka's story will give you reassurance for an easy outcome !:thumbsup:

[Tina Dixon]

Kids are so exposed to things now a days that I think a lot of stuff don't shock them like us at that age, good for you, sounds like a kid you got there?

[JenniferR771]

Kim your avatar is so pretty!
Found it--thank you so much Avsblues! I did a small test in address line before blocking the feature--typed c--crossdressers, plus this entry with a long list of subfiles came up--clicked it and OMG-- up came my enfemme picture! Full screen size. I had recently used the file.
In new IE autocomplete was under Tools, Internet options, Content Tab, Settings. I unchecked the Auto Complete box. FAST.
On the other hand--my wife who strongly disapproves of my CD activities--now gets angry if I delete my browsing history. I think she checks it frequently. She does not say much--has not explored my addresses--as far as I know. Refuses to discuss CD.

[Marcie Sexton]

My 18 y/o knows too, and he took it well, good for you...

:happy:

[Kimberley]

WOW! That's why he has his computers...and I have mine...and the daughter has hers and the wife doesn't use any of them at all.... lol

Karren


DITTO that. There is safety in numbers.

[Kieron Andrew]

id talk to him and ask him if he is ok with what he found out, now he's had time to digest it he might have questions but is afraid to approach the subject

[TxKimberly]

Having an exciting few days lately, aren't we, dear?

3 cheers!
Wow - you aren't kidding there! VERY exciting few days this last couple of weeks!

Kim

[Deborah]

That's why i use Firefox which deletes my trail upon exit. ;)

[tekla west]

"Hi Kim, I read and re-read your post and to be honest I'm just a little bit skeptical of the fact that your son is so willing to accept this. Please don't misunderstand me but most 17 yr olds have a "blackmail" streak in them. This is not to say that your son does but rather a fact of life. Please be careful in further interaction as this thing may come back to bite you. I truly wish you all the happiness in this world. May God grant you and your family love, acceptance and forgivness."

Wow, and double wow! I'm almost (ALMOST I SAID) at a loss for words.

First, I agree with those who say that our kids are more accepting than we often give them credit for - but then again, we did raise them, and if they are not then the fault dear Brutus is not in the stars, but in ourselves.

As for blackmail, yeesh. I'm sure it has happened, but not to the level that this would imagine. At 17 all you have to say is "so, for your next birthday I'm giving you first and last months rent and a depost." I'm sure they will get that message posthaste.

So, good for your kid. Seems you did right.

And, as I always say NO ONE CAN BLACKMAIL YOU FOR SOMETHING THAT IS PUBLIC.

[kathy gg]

Hey Kim, as nice as your wife and you were/are, when I met you both those many years back, of course you both would raise a child with few prejudices.

Children reaised in {1} loving homes ,{2} with parents who care about each other and let it show {3} don't hear parents degrade people different will usually grow up with a good sense of self and usually a non-judgemental attitude.

Simple equation which I wish more families would do.

As for it being a non-event...well does not surprise me. Sounds like alot of kids who know their folks care about them....what the parents are and do does not change their love for them.

And that is all kids every really want...to know they are fully loved and respected.

[lowlavalentine]

As I see it our job as big people is to raise little people up to be good big people... by all accounts you've done a terrific job Kim. Your son's attitude is a testament to that. My eldest son is now 25. For some reason he was rummaging though my closet and found a woman's coat (of mine) and in the pocket was a photo I had taken with a gg friend of mine while we were doing girl's-lunch-out. He didn't recognize the girly me, but my daughter-in-law did (by my smile of all things). We subsequently talked about my cding and he was surprised by amazingly cool with the idea - "kind of weird Dad, but no big deal if it makes you happy". That was over 2 years ago and although it hasn't been a frequent topic of conversation since our relationship is just as rich as it ever was.

[TxKimberly]

Hi Kim, I read and re-read your post and to be honest I'm just a little bit skeptical of the fact that your son is so willing to accept this. Please don't misunderstand me but most 17 yr olds have a "blackmail" streak in them. This is not to say that your son does but rather a fact of life. Please be careful in further interaction as this thing may come back to bite you. I truly wish you all the happiness in this world. May God grant you and your family love, acceptance and forgivness.


:love: BonnieAnne
Funny you should say that as one of the first things he said after the dust settled was that he wanted a movie (to give to his girl friend). He laughed and said that he wouldn't say anything to anyone if I took him to get it. I laughed right back and told him that I'd advise him NOT to, but that he was welcome to tell anyone he wanted. I told him the only reason that I hesitate to let people know is out of concern for HIM and his sister. After we stopped laughing, I strongly advised him not to talk to anyone about it, because it could ultimately come back to hurt him, or his little sister who must follow him through the same schools. I'm reasonably sure he understands and has no intention of telling anyone.
The next day he again tried testing me be arguing when it was time to do his only chores (Trash and Dishes). He kept telling me to wait a minute and he'd get to it. I guess he thought now that he knew Dad has a softer side, he could get away with pushing his luck. I gave him a few minutes to end his emails and close his game and then told him to do his chores again. Once again he told me to wait. By this time I'd decided it was a dangerous precedent to set, so I insisted and got him off the PC.
I'm glad I did it, because now he knows nothing has changed, he can't get away with anything that he didn't used to get away with just because he knows Dad is a CD.
Life is back to "normal" with the exception that I no longer have to worry about him catching me.
Hugs to all!
Kim

[Calliope]

I'm glad I did it, because now he knows nothing has changed, he can't get away with anything that he didn't used to get away with just because he knows Dad is a CD.


Wise move.

And - grumble, grumble - probably very reassuring for him.

[Lovely Rita]

Wow Kimberly what a wonderful ending. I assume your wife knows? Your thread did not express that. It is wonderful that it was not an issue with your son. I am very happy for you.

my situation was a little different. I was found out by my wife and it turns out that she loves my cding. Fear can keep us from the lives we were mea'nt to live.

[Tiffy]

Wow Kimberly what a wonderful ending. I assume your wife knows? Your thread did not express that. It is wonderful that it was not an issue with your son. I am very happy for you.

my situation was a little different. I was found out by my wife and it turns out that she loves my cding. Fear can keep us from the lives we were mea'nt to live.


Very right dear. As it turns out my marriage is 100% better since I told my wife. I was so scared. And she loves it. And we had a good marriage before I told her.

Tiffy

[Debra Lynn]

Wow, that is great Kim, gives me great hope for if and when my son finds out, considering my wife does not wish him exposed to my CD. I am very happy that things worked out for you!

[Susan Wade]

He is very unaccepting .. You are fortunate in the way that it evolved. I have a very hard time trying to reconcile my inner feelings with what is accepable.

Would love to have an event that forced me to take a step forward.

susan

[marie354]

I am glad everything worked out for you. If you want to know how to turn the recent history off, so that when he types "C," www.crossdressers.com won't come up, do this:

Go to Tools (on your browser),
Then click the "Content" tab,
Then click the "AutoComplete..." button,
Then uncheck the box where it says "Use AutoComplete for Web Addresses"

I never gave it a thought until my brother came by... So I did the above, and yes it won't auto complete. But... There is an arrow to the right of the address bar that when clicked shows a list of every site that you've typed in!
To solve that... Right a blank space on the tool bar above it and uncheck ''Address Bar''. Bar gone, Problem gone. But... Remember to remove anything from your favorites as well.
Hope you have winxp, cause the best way is to set up seperate accounts for each person that uses the computer. This seperates everyone, especially if you use passwords. Just make sure that you use the administrator account so you can keep an eye on your son on the net.
Hope that helps some.
:hugs:
Sandy

[ponytail_gurl]

I use a nifty freeware program called web eraser to erase the cache of all browsers, delete what is saved in auto complete and in temp files for various programs. I also use registry mechanic to wipe out past history and unused files from the registry. You would be amazed at the stuff that builds up in the registry from software installations to picture info of files you recently viewed or edited in picture editing programs like paint shop.

Another way to cover your traces is to go to google and then search for this forum and click on that link. You will still have log in cookies from this forum, but your route to the site will not appear in a drop down address toolbar even with auto complete turned on in IE.

[trannie T]

I'm glad your son is cool about your dressing. Most 17 year olds think their parents are the lowest form of life ever to walk the face of the earth so whatever the parents do they will not sink any lower in their childrens' esteem. Hope things continue to go well for you.