whats the best aproach?

[marisa]

I have a girl-friend that I feel is open minded enough to accept my cd'ing. And she has seen me all dressed up( on halloween of course). I am concidering telling her but I just don't know how to find out just how open minded she really is. Does anyone have any ideas or sujestions on how to do this with out being to obvious? thank you. Marisa

[tekla west]

Just tell her the truth. People hate that anyway.

[Bonnie D]

The truth is the best but if you can't then how about, "I have a friend who likes to crossdress. What do you think about that?" If she asks for a name, tell her Marisa. See how it goes from there.

Bonnie

[Kimkandy]

Well you could talk about :devil: halloween... and then ask her what she thinks about men crossdressing?

Did she think you looked :gorgeous: sexy in a dress?

If you get some :happy: positive reactions, then you could ask her what she thinks about you crossdressing? And could she give some tips...

Maybe that's too much too fast... you need to play it by ear. Why not start with a :gift: gift of some sexy lingerie.

Kim

:dom: :lovestruck: :luvu: :love:

[Calliope]

[...] I just don't know how to find out just how open minded she really is.

I think you can find out in about the time it takes to have a coffee together.

[dods460]

Well what I actually did was show all my friends a clip of eddie izzard on youtube, from their you can work into a conversation about CDing and gauge from that, it worked for me.

[Lori SC]

If you just want to find out how open she is to crossdressing, pick a time when you are discussing some current events, or there is a kind of natural time to change the subject. Just tell her you read/heard a story about a guy crossdressing. Ask her if she knows what it is and what she thinks of it.

Be forwarned though.... She could be fine with guys crossdressing, but definetly NOT a boyfriend crossdressing.

If her response is favorable, THAT would be a good time to tell her about you. After all, the subject is open.

Simple, direct and uncomplicated.

Hugs, Lori :2c:

[marie354]

The sooner you tell her, the better. Don't let her find out on her own, by finding your lingerie, or when you're dressed up. She could have a bad reaction that way. I told my first wife and she didn't seem to care, until she caught me and everything changed. I had to leave with whatever I could put in the car. Everything else went to the dump the next day. I learned. I've had lots better results by being honest and up front. My SO's fine with it and lets me dress anytime I want. I told her within the first week that we were dating and showed her my closet.
:hugs: :love: :hugs:

[Sejd]

I agree with Marie
Up front and right to the matter. It's going to spill out anyway, so why wrap it in? You are who you are, and if she cannot deal with it, it's never going to work between you two. Just face it, and embrace it.
hugs
Sejd:tongueout

[Sandra]

Tell her the truth and be prepared for questions and answer them as honestly as you can. Also tell her that she is not alone, I know when I found out I thought I was the only woman who's SO dressed. Don't rush things with her let her take it in at her own pace.

I hope it works out for you both.

[gennee]

The best thing is to tell the truth.

Gennee

:happy:

[Kate Simmons]

Ditto what Gennee said.:happy:

[carla smith]

You can start out be saying how much fun and comfortable it was for you to dress up on haloween. Go from there, be honest, and see what her reaction is.

Have fun out there!

[garterbelt]

My first wife caught me dressing. After we divorced, which she later said was over the crossdressing, I told my girlfriend before we went too far. She told me that it wasn't as uncommon as I thought and she didn't have a problem with it. To this day we will go out shopping for new bras, panties, and lingerie together.

[Kerry Owens]

Honest simple truth, calmly presented would work great. It's when you try to be dishonest in a relationship and it quickly multiplies to the great wall of china made of fibs, lies, and fantasies that will kill a relationship.
Simply put, a friendship dies a hard death when that happens, when it all
could have been avoided.

[Bethanygirl]

Yes dear, I agree with all of the above, just bite the bullet and find a nice quiet time to calmly tell her. You need to do this for both your sakes. Good luck honey!
:love:

[Sheila]

Tell her the truth and be prepared for questions and answer them as honestly as you can. Also tell her that she is not alone, I know when I found out I thought I was the only woman who's SO dressed. Don't rush things with her let her take it in at her own pace.

I hope it works out for you both.


:iagree: good luck

Jess

[Marcie Sexton]

It might not be the smoothest road to travel, but the only one to travel...my wife and I admittingly had "lots" of problems at first:sad: , but after numerous heart to hearts:hugs: , we finally got it right...Now we share shopping trips for that special girlie girl stuff:happy: ...now we got the best of both worlds...shes got a girl friend who poses absolutely no threat of any kind, and a husband with a new view of her world...:D
How could one ask for more....

[Eugenie]

Obviously, the truth is the best route to follow... However, drive carefully on that road :2c: That's just how far I would dare to go with giving you advice on that matter.

Yet, as much as I don't believe that I can give you any precise advice, and I believe that no one can tel someone else what to do, I believe that sharing experience allows one to pick up what's relevant to one's situation.

I've told a few friends about my X-dressing. All GGs. These were all friends that counted a lot for me: they trusted me and I felt bad about hidding that face of me to them. All have very much been supportive once I explained them quietly what my life's feminine side was made of.

In all cases I waited for a quiet moment in a conversation, when my friends would be receptive. Then told them that I liked women very much, and hinted that it wasn't just the usual male attraction to women... That sometimes I just felt like a woman myself. Seeing how they their reacted, I would push my explanations forward. "You might be somewhat surprised about what I'm going to tell you, but I will be the same person after I will have told you than I was before, you may feel different about me but I won't feel different about you as my friend."
An then proceed to tell them that ever since I was 10 years old I'd always likes the feeling of women clothing, going to the point of wearing them myself. Telling them that this need to dress with women's clothing had grown as I got older and was still there for me and growing. No it wasn't a sexual thing. Just the need to feel feminine as long as my other occupations would let me do.

All accepted very well that confession. They all wanted to know more about my life, how I was feeling about having to hide that side of my personality most of the time. In fact they were trying to help me right away.

And they have helped me a lot...

So I don't regret a second having told my friends. They seem to be a lot closer to me now that they were before...

That's all I wish for you if you decide to tell your friend.
:hugs:
Eugenie

[mona lisa]

I have a girl-friend that I feel is open minded enough to accept my cd'ing. And she has seen me all dressed up( on halloween of course). I am concidering telling her but I just don't know how to find out just how open minded she really is. Does anyone have any ideas or sujestions on how to do this with out being to obvious? thank you. Marisa

How about trying to find a way of stumbling across a CD in a movie or on the street and casually asking her what she thinks of men who dress up like that? If she says it is no big deal, you are in like Flynn. If she reacts negatively to it, you will know in advance and better able to figure out how you would go about telling her about it at some point.

[Penny]

It depends on your intimacy level. If you are not intimate, I wouldn't approach her from behind! :lol2:
Seriously, I would reminder of halloween and tell her that was kind of fun and ask her if she'd mind if you did that every once in a while.

:hugs:

Penny