Giving information

[Kate Simmons]

Stupid question here (Yeah, what else is new?). When some new "dark horse" joins the Forum who shares no information about themself in their profile or a picture, why are we sometimes so eager to spill our guts, especially if they ask pointed questions? I'm not referring to the people we more or less know as some have various reasons for not giving information, they have more or less "proven" themselves and I have no reservations posting a comment, especially if I feel it can help and especially in relation to CD issues. I sometimes hesitate to post until I see where the thread is going to get the "feel" of it to see if the person is genuine or not. It somewhat irks me to provide entertainment for some "jackass" who may just be doing it to see what us "pervs" have to say. I realize the Forum is more or less anonymous and a tool for otherwise closeted folks to get information but sometimes I just get the feeling we may be being "used" to fulfill someone's wacko fantasy. That won't stop me from posting even so if I feel the need for it. Just an observation, that's all. :happy: Ericka Kay

[Marla S]

I am at one with you, and have my speculations (of course ;)) why some readily jump in, but's better not to tell.

[Sheila]

I sometimes hesitate to post until I see where the thread is going to get the "feel" of it to see if the person is genuine or not. It somewhat irks me to provide entertainment for some "jackass" who may just be doing it to see what us "pervs" have to say. I realize the Forum is more or less anonymous and a tool for otherwise closeted folks to get information but sometimes I just get the feeling we may be being "used" to fulfill someone's wacko fantasy. That won't stop me from posting even so if I feel the need for it. Just an observation, that's all. :happy: Ericka Kay


And they think CDR's are weird and perverted ??????????????? says it all don't you think

[Kate Simmons]

hello Ericka

I have not posted many replys but do read alot
And Ive learnt more about myself that Ive leant about all thee other girl

love Pertrisha P.S plus I am shyI realize a lot of folks are shy Pertrisha and have no problem with that. I was withdrawn most of my life. It took being Ericka for me to become enthusiastic about life and become interested in people. We're here to help one another, so you don't need to feel bashful. If you are worried about what you say, don't be. We want to hear what you have to say because no matter how long some of us have been at this, we don't know everything. I make a fool out of myself all the time--just ask anyone here--:p . It's just good to hear from others who are honest and open and share their heart felt feelings. I'm the absolute last person to attempt to judge anyone else. I just wanted to point out that we don't really know who we are talikng to sometimes unless they share part of themselves and when they do,we all appreciate that. Don't worry, it will come in time. As I said, I used to be shy myself, now you can't shut me up and I'm going to get my :2c: in one way or the other. Good hearing from you, Hon and look forward to hearing from you more.:hugs: :happy: Ericka Kay

[Teresa Amina]

Sometimes it's fun to go along with them. Whatever happened to "MR" Stapler, anyway?:D That was a good turn-around! Who knows what fantasies we play into here even with long term members? Just gotta take things at face value sometimes and not be paranoid.:happy:

[Shelly Preston]

While I see the point you are making about new people joining and giving out little or no information

I stop and think !!!! That was me once upon a time. I had very little knowledge of the forum worked I was just glad to find this place
I did not give out many details in the beginning.

There is no such thing as a stupid question either.
There will always be someone who find the answer useful most often not always the person who asked it
Just forget about the jackasses of this world and remember you are helping someone somewhere

[Amy Hepker]

Because the female side of us just wants to help others.

[Satrana]

I think it is not too hard to spot the perverts since they try to steer the discusion around their sexual fantasies. Real crossdressers have had a tough life full of guilt and shame and come across as very genuine in their point of view and interest in others.

Remember though the main forum is open to the general public anyway so anyone can see our private thoughts if we put them down. It is the price we pay for having an open supportive forum, much like free speech gives jerks the opportunity to bash anyone they want.

[occdresser]

I have to reply to this one, you reply to most of mine First I do not have a picture because I do not know how to post a picture of me dressed up. New computer, I'm still learning:thumbsup:

[VERONICARH]

I have to agree with occdresser, I haven't posted picture due to being computer dumb. I just know the basics. I reply to some posts, but not many. Most posts that I would reply, evertthing that I would say has all ready been said.

[Kate Simmons]

I have to reply to this one, you reply to most of mine First I do not have a picture because I do not know how to post a picture of me dressed up. New computer, I'm still learning:thumbsup:That's okay Hon, I don't have a problem with you. I'm technically challenged myself. It took me a while to get a cam and figure out how to do it also. I just take most things with a grain of salt and just wanted to put up a caveat for the occassional wick wacks. Most folks here are genuine like yourself. I just got thinking about it after Tekla mentioned "posers" yesterday on another thread. They are out there "hiding" in plain sight. I just wanted to let them know that we know it and that they are not fooling anyone. Just have to go by the clues and context I guess. I certainly don't want to discourage anyone from asking questions, especially if they are unsure of themselves or need help. Someone popped up the other day with a personal survey to go to another site and answer questions. As DT said, "what's in it for me?" When we answer legitimate questions, we gain friends and they gain insight and understanding. Don't however use the Forum to get a grade in a Thesis or try to personally sell me something using the guise of flattery or patronizing me cause I ain't gonna bite. We're here to help and support one another, not for personal gain.:happy: Ericka

[lynnrichards]

I'm not concerned about the small number of people who might use this forum for what you perceive as disingenuous reasons. Having dealt with the shame of crossdressing that we all have had to overcome, I see this forum as a lifeline for crossdressers of all kinds and at all stages of their personal struggles with self-acceptance.

I believe that the overwhelming number of threads and replies are sincere. And the diversity of opinions and feelings expressed here should be appreciated and welcomed.

Lynn

[susiegrl19]

I have to reply to this one, you reply to most of mine First I do not have a picture because I do not know how to post a picture of me dressed up. New computer, I'm still learning:thumbsup:

Hi Ericka Kay, I have to say the same as OCC said, but I am trying hard to learn how. I have started to post a little more and really enjoy it. Ericka, you think some of the post we get here are bad you should see some of the E-Mails I get and have to delete. I put my e-mail on my signature to hear from other CD's and talk about our way of life. Not for some of the stuff I get. I have learned a lot from you and the other girls. Thank You for being here.

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

I dont have a lot of posts at this forum, but its not my first go at being an online cd. Anytime you do anything online your at a worldwide podium so you go in with that info in mind. Its a good idea really to require minimal info from folks anyway as milage varies as to our individual risks of being outed. Myself, Im not interested in admirer types, but Im sympathetic to something thats that integral a part of ones personality and mental construct not being a choice but a compulsion.

[Kimberley]

Kimberley, :devil: Tell em what you think. :la: Now be nice dear
:devil: Tell tham! :la: Be polite and your usual pleasant self.
Kimberley: I'm so confused....

Now that the voices in my head have had their say....

People lurk. Nothing wrong with that. We'd prefer they joined but to each their own.
People are shy. Nothing wrong with that but get over it. I did.
People are misleading and deceptive: This is the internet, you expect total honesty?
People use this place for their own nefarious personal amusement: We pick it up fairly quickly. We've seen it all before from some of our own trying to get into the GG forum to people posting sexual fantasy.

If some weenie get his jollies by stirring things up and not taking part it is his loss, not ours. We will go on and he will fade away.

Some of us (myself included) are less likely to be as skeptical but once these individuals are exposed we back off. I have a NEED to help others avoid the c**ppy life I have had with this. I have a need to help others in distress.

I dont too often divulge my true identity except to a few close "friends" here and for damned good reason. Those who do know of me I am sure are satisfied as to who I am and I am what I say. These people have the ability
to write direct and in a few cases pick up the phone if they want.

Okay girls, is that okay?
:devil: Barely. :la: Could have been nicer but okay.

Thanks.

[Kate Simmons]

Very well put Kimberley. I want honest feelings, that's why I started the thread. It was basically me thinking out loud early this morning. We know the benefits out weigh the downside. It's a fact of life, however, that not everyone has our best interests in mind. Someone had contacted me a few weeks ago and seemed to be interested in meeting me.I gave them the benefit of the doubt and exchanged E-mails and pictures. We had established by all indications just how our meeting would go. I never heard from them again. I can't help but wonder if those pictures were used for nefarious purposes. It really didn't bother me but did piss me off somewhat, to be trusting and then get "dissed" like that. I'm a "big girl" and can handle that. I just wanted others to be aware of it, especially others who are bashful or closeted. We all tend to be trusting when we come here and that's the way it should be. I just don't want someone to get hurt by someone else who may be thoughtless or selfish. Forewarned is forearmed. We should enjoy ourselves but be careful, that's all.:happy:

[Suzie Green]

I understand your feelings Ericka. I am new here, and from my viewpoint of things, I certainly am hesitant about divulging too much, at least until I establish a personality here. It takes time to build a certain amount of trust and it's a 2-way street. I can't expect the other girl to give out personal information if I am acting like an internet troll. We all have the desire to be accepted, to be liked by others, and sometimes that's the reason behind our willingness to let out sensitive information...often too prematurely!

I know it will take time before I am accepted, before I am trusted by the girls on this forum. I am OK with that. I am willing to pay my dues, so to speak, to put in the time and to build on what I have started.

We have a small plaque in our home here that says "It Takes A Long Time To Grow An Old Friend" and it's true! Rome wasn't built in a day, and patience has its own rewards!

Christine :happy:

[Karren H]

Hmmmm....definately maybe....

But I really enjoy the one post wonders myself.....lots of comic relief...hehehe

Someone needs to compile a thread of them....kind of "Crossdressers Most Funniest Posts".... or "The Best Of......."

:D

Karren

[Roberta Lynn]

I agree with you Ericka. You have to be a little suspicious of some of the threads that are started here. Doesn't really matter. It is MUCH more important to try and help someone that is asking for advice than to worry about one of the 'tiny brained' people just here to amuse themselves.

As far as posting a picture or personal information. I can understand the reluctance. I do for my own curiosity like to see a persons age and approximate part of the world their from. But of course it's not necessary.

[Angie G]

We need to do what we have been doing help each other and have some fun with it there will always br Jerks in our world we con't stop helping good people so just let the jerks p--- off :hugs:
Angie

[JenniferMint]

In my case, I don't mind everyone knowing that I had my testicles removed and stuff like that because I'm anonymous here.

[Amanda Shaft]

Say what you want, mean what you say!
We never know who we're talking to either here or in the 'real' world, ask my SO!
Keep the faith girls, Amanda

[Diana West]

I, too, get a little suspicious when no information is given besides the name.
But, hey, if they get off reading these comments, let them.

I enjoy the insights and tips I've read here. So I can understand some people who just like to read. There are some mighty interesting reading here.
What I enjoy most of all is when I connect with someone. There are a few of you that I feel I have connected with and that makes all the difference.

[Maggie Kay]

I can understand hesitance to participate in threads started by newbies. Being one myself, it takes a lot to put one out and one of my early ones burned me big time because I revealed too much. Not all of us can post photos for reasons that we must remain anonymous. I would love to be as free and open as so many are here. Because of the conflicts that I have, at times, I vow never to return again but keep coming back because I do need this outlet even if it gets painful sometimes. I cannot tell others who know me of these thoughts. I could be one of those folks trying to be a trouble maker for all you know. However, in my case you hear some stuff from me that NO ONE else in the universe except God hears.

Kay

[carla smith]

Yes, I agree with you. This site is really a "fantasy island" for a lot of us. Yes, I will include myself. I try to be as honest with my feelings as possible. I tell stories about myself and my experiences with the hope that others can either learn or see humor in them. I am here to learn and comment where I think I can help.

Yes, I was the jackass, in a former life, seeking out anyone different than myself to belittle and ridicule. These people are all around us, it is why so many of us are fearful of being found out…fearful of being our true selves.

Are they here? Yes, of course, they are. It is not something that will stop me from coming here. I have not completely filled out my profile because I feel that I have said enough about me that the members here know me by now. The jackass just passing by will not go to the trouble to read all of my posts but...they might read my profile, so I chose to not put the data there.

Remember that there are jackasses that can be trained! Jesus rode one, why not me?

Now I have said too much!

Have fun out there!

[Calliope]

Plese help

Now that I've told my girlfreind I like lacy little panties, she wants to git it on 20 times a day, I can't standd it!!!!!
can anyone help???

Yes, it can be tedious, but to look at it on the bright side, (as the saying goes) in every tranny chaser's heart lurks a t-girl - and, probably, the same applies to those offering ridicule. I can easily see the curious mind reading our posts then, in a grand flourish, the shame kicks in and, presto, one more idiotic post before they go. I suspect their exit post is not the part of the experience they take with 'em, though. It's not a total waste of time - whatever we write are read by our friends, anyway.

[Kate Simmons]

20 times a day? Better man than I am for damn sure! But those panties are so soft and lacy. Have to check J. Edgar's files on that guy...........may be a threat to the country. The "J" would know, right?:ohgoon: :heehee:

[Calliope]

I think the FBI would be more interested in the girlfriend.

[Rachaelb64]

As a newbie, I am being just a little carefull myself. Spending years thinking you are a 'freak' that you are only one in the world can make it difficult to be suddenly open.

Its little like being sweeped up in a strom for years out at sea then suddenly finding a port where the sun is shining as everyone is friendly, after years of stroms it is just a little hard to relax.... it does not help that my British scepticism kicks in as well (its part of self defence system :happy: )

I have no pictures at the moment, I lost them all when I move out of the family home when me and my ex split and I hven't got a camera yet. But when I do and when I feel comfortable you'll see me, providing I got a decent wig :lol2:

:doll: Rachael

[Kate Simmons]

I think the FBI would be more interested in the girlfriend.Gotta get me one of them (for a "spare", I think).:silly:

[Jocelyn Quivers]

After only admitting to myself a couple of years ago that I am a CD I guess it will take me time to become more comfortable enough to gradually reveal more abut me pictures, interest etc. I also suffer from being very paranoid about being discovered. I will say that joining this forum is an extremely big monumental event in my deveolopment. Jocelyn

[Rita Knight]

Hi Everyone,
I may not post things on this forum as much as other people who have been here just as long. If I see something I feel I can give advice on, I will. It does not matter to me how many posts a person has. All of you have to realize that other members that do not reply maybe looking at your posts now or in the future. I like giving practical advice where I have first hand knowledge on the subject.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

I either skip the thread, or post an answer with a tinge of sarcasm. I also can't understand the way so many here seem so preoccupied with discussing underwear....I know, I look at my avatar and say "who the hell am I to talk", but it seems to me that panty threads are the sort of kinks beat off thread...anyway, I don't respond, or do but tongue firmly in cheek...

[StacyCD]

I was a lurker on the forum for over two years before I registered. Also, I only registered after coming out to my wife and wish to take things very, very slowly. At some point in the future I might be willing to put up a picture and give out more information. Please note that not everyone with 'little' information other than a name and an email address are up to no good! Right now I'm taking it slowly!

[Jennaie]

There are many reasons people don't reveal much about themselves. It's their business. We are, most of us, closeted.

When it comes to questions like "how do I tuck", I usually don't respond because anyone can put their pointer on the search menu, click in the box, and type (tucking, tuck) and get all the information they ever wanted to know, try it. This goes for almost any subject a dresser is interested in.

So for the threads that I see over and over..., I usually don't even open them.

When someone new ask a question or is looking for information that I view as odd for a dresser. I just ignore it.

It's not that don't want to be helpful to others, but as you stated Erica, I often question the sincerity of them.

Except of course for the panty threads, we all love the panty threads. Jennaie ducks.:happy:

[JoAnnDallas]

When I first found this site, I did not have an avatar. My first avator was a picture of myself but with my head cut off. Then went I got my wig, I put up a full picture of myself for my avator. I want others her to see what I looked like and got a lot of great responses. Later I put the same picture on my yahoo 360 site and started getting IM's from admires. Some even thought I was a real GG.

[Sierra Evon]

Just because at home I dress like a teenage Japanese schoolgirl, in my sailor outfits, witch Ive spent alot of mooolahh, on by the way, dont start viewing me as ya'll personal sex toy.....LOL....( just kidding ) :heehee: , I dont know why ppl do that ??, overcomming shyness is a hard thing to do.
As for me being Sierra Evon " , I can now enjoy a much fuller life, than I ever could as a man before, ppl wish to judge me so be it I dont give a damn !!!,
Sierra Evon is here to stay in this world!!!!!!

[Bethanygirl]

Some of these threads make me feel a bit strange, could we get a 'twilight zone' themesong that plays for threads like this? I am not sure I have run across any threads such as you are describing yet, but either I haven't been here long enough, or they didn't sink in. Ultimately, who cares? I mean if it is obviously a person with 'issues', well, I think we can still be nice to them, I mean, look at what they have to live with. It doesn't make some of our problems look quite so bad now does it?
Anyway, I am glad to have you all to communicate with, I have had a feeling of belonging here that I never had before, because you all understand many of my feelings in a way that nobody who doesn't go through what we have, does. Thanks everyone!
:love:

[Chiana]

I have been thinking about this subject, myself.

I don't post a lot of personal information. I don't have a picture of me anywhere on this forum. And It seems like there is some subtle pressure from within this forum to reveal a lot more personal information. I have seen a couple of threads kind of knocking people for not revealing more about themselves. Such as "don't trust anyone who doesn't post a picture". And there also seems to be a lot of threads encouraging people to come out to their friends, come out to their family and come out to their SO. Revealing my information scares me. This is the WWW after all. I think that has the potential of really being dangerous. I have also seen threads where people told their SO's, their family and friends and now they have NOTHING. If you tell someone to tell their SO and their SO kicks them out, are you going to give them a place to stay when it was so easy for you to post "You need to tell your SO. It worked for me." I would like to see some of the vets be a whole lot more tolerant of the newbies fears and apprehensions. I don't understand why anyone would be so concerned about trolls. Let them look. Let them visit. I think it is easy to spot trolls. Just ignore them.

BTW. One of the reason I haven't posted pics is because I have HATED every picture that I have seen of me except one. I destroyed the rest. But I have been feeling the pressure of posting pics myself. So I tried to take some pics last night. And guess what? There were some that weren't terrible. But still I need make-up help. Maybe there is hope. :love:

[Shannon CD]

Ok, Ok, I went ahead and put my photo back in my avatar. You all went through quite a length to get me to do it. I was waiting for a GOOD pic, but this is what you all get...:tongueout

Seriously, I have thought about it myself and the biggest reason I have been reluctant to give out too much info myself is that I do not want to be "figured out" by someone I know. I know we all say that the only people who would be here have some sort of interest, but I feel that if someone is suspicious they may do a web search for something like this. (not completely out of the realm of possibilities as my X decided to tell everyone she could think of)

I figure that there are those junior high mentalities out there, but what are they gonna do to us, right? I'd rather I ran into those strangers here than out in public.

[Calliope]

Such as "don't trust anyone who doesn't post a picture".

To be fair, I believe Tekla and I were talking about meeting someone from this forum in the real world.

[Kate Simmons]

To be fair, I believe Tekla and I were talking about meeting someone from this forum in the real world.You did DT. I've done the same thing several times when meeting people for the first time. Met in a neutral spot, both of us gave descriptions and what to look for--no surprises. I've had several successful meetings this way with TG folks.:happy:

[heatherM]

Im new here, and I'll tell ya' why, Im an engineering type for a multi-national company in smaller town in the mid-west 50 % of my crew are farmers and good ole' boys although I could not be fired for this I would suffer and would end up having to show a few of them just exactly what I'm like when Im backed into a corner.
I have posted a picture in the gallery because you have to sign in to see them then I got cold boobs ( ha ha ) and and deleted it, and if you think your annonomise anywhere on the net your sadly mistaken, I want to open up so badly, I want to show you all the pink satin gown Im wearing right now, Im COMPLETLY hairless I go to the tanning bed every week, my toe nails are hot pink, my wife plucks my eye brows for me, really anal about my appearance, perfect nails, Im sure they know ( at work ) but Im just not ready to show them pictures yet.
Oh and its natural to want to talk about sex with people in your peer group, we all do it other places at other times.

[kathy gg]

Hi Ericka

I understand your flustrations...it is funny my husband and I have had our website online for over 7 years. Of course he had it before he met me, so add a couple of years on that just minus a one misses.

Anyway, we have been very fortunate. We have been able to form close wonderful friendships with people because WE DID allow a part of our life to be an open book and be honest. With Amanda and me, what you see is what we are. Most of our good close friends we met because we put ourself OUT there. And when I say good friendships I mean we know our friends value trust and discretion. We have allowed them into our life, they have met my Mom-in-LAw for goodness sakes. We have been to their homes for bbq's with their families, our friends from the community have attened my daughters birthday parties. Hell her Godparents are a cd and his wife who we met via the net as well. For me this is not *fantasy* or to titilate, this is my life.

On this forum I have made three very good and wonderful friendships..I am not talking via pm only. These are people I truly care about and love as freinds, and I have welcomed them into my heart and home as if I have known them for ages.

To me, this community would be a deal barren landscape if I did not have these REAL NORMAL and good friendships with people. I can't just be some voiceless faceless person. For me, it would not be LIVING...and Ericka I am all about the living. :D

I know not everyone can put themself out there and I realize for many they feel that cding is something to hide and be ashamed of. To me it is a special part of our life which we choose to allow special people to be a part of. Any secrets kept are not out of shame but our of worthiness...if I don't feel a person is worthy of my real genuine self, well they won't ever see it.

But I think once people are *show themself* either via sharing of personal info {and I dont' mean giving our home #'s and addresses} and are able to show pictures, to me that symbolizes a shedding of the shame and guilt so often associated with cding, and starts to assoaite it with being a postive force and something which one is proud of being.

[tvbeckytv]

as a newbie on the forum, i havnt seen the ability to provide any profile info other than the pic, or view others profiles... dont know what wonders open up to me after my 10th post...but guess i'll soon find out as this is number 10

[cdeeko]

So I have all ready posted a lot here.

And if I ever have a photo I like and some help I will post it/them--sorry I ride the HTML short bus.

But I can understand the reticicence. If my first posts had not been met with love and understanding I may have just kept my mouth shut or left.

And I probably have asked dumb questions I could just search for. For that I apologize.

:hugs:

[ubokvt]

Some of us new people can be a little computer illiterate, Still haven't figured out this avatar stuff, and as for filing out a lot of info well I was so happy to join all I wanted to do was get to the forum, I'll go back a see if I can figure out what I need to fill in. Hmmm as for the rest yes, at times it does seem some are looking in with less than good wishes but I also wait to respond in order to see If i trully understand what is being asked. By the way I envy that you seem to change your avatar at will. You look great no fair!

[Calliope]

as a newbie on the forum, i havnt seen the ability to provide any profile info other than the pic, or view others profiles... dont know what wonders open up to me after my 10th post...but guess i'll soon find out as this is number 10


Hey, Becky - welcome aboard.

You look lovely, I might add.

[Chiana]

When some new "dark horse" joins the Forum who shares no information about themself in their profile or a picture,..... Ericka Kay

Yes, Day Tripper you and Tekla were originally talking about meeting someone and requiring a photo before you arranged a meeting. But the above quote is second line in the opening of THIS thread. plus there have been some other threads which referenced (encouraged) posting photos. Do yo see a trend here? I can. I will probably post some photos as I gain confidence in myself and this forum. But I don't want to feel pressured into posting them before I am ready.

[kerrianna]

It's only been recently that I've used the internet for anything other than work, and I'm discovering the universal truths abot the WWW. Such as it is so easy for anyone to be anything online, and if you're not careful you can get sucked in. That is only controlled by what you decide you want/need - usually if you aren't desperate or greedy you can sniff out the frauds.

Because this is such a busy site I tend to gravitate to the threads I am sincerly interested in, and especially the people I 'read' as sincere. Usually it's pretty easy to tell who's genuine here. I just ignore anyone I don't 'get'. Except that Ericka/Rich. No one can ignore her/him. :D

And one day, when Kerrianna gets a nice pic I'll post it. I've got a ways to go yet. Kerrianna is still very much a new creature :happy:

I don't blame anyone for not putting out much info. Everyone's situation is different and the web can bite you back if you're not careful. I envy the freedom of people who just put themselves out there. Some of us can't do that, at least not right now.

[Billie1]

Stupid question here (Yeah, what else is new?)

No such thing as a stupid question, Erika, just stupid answers!
(So, here's mine):joke:

why are we sometimes so eager to spill our guts, especially if they ask pointed questions?

Because everyone here is soooo nice!:hugs:

It somewhat irks me to provide entertainment for some "jackass" who may just be doing it to see what us "pervs" have to say.

And, by gosh, those panty threads just keep growing!:tongueout

but sometimes I just get the feeling we may be being "used" to fulfill someone's wacko fantasy.

As Fox Muldar said, "Trust no one.":thinking:


That won't stop me from posting even so if I feel the need for it.

And we all hope you do!:yrtw:

[Kate Simmons]

Thank you my friends. I appreciate all your thoughts and feelings as usual. Please bear in mind the intention of this thread was not to "push" anyone to post pictures or information. I realize everyone has their own circumstances and respect all of you for that. I did, however, want to generate some awareness about the possible intentions of some people out there. It unsettles me to think our willingness to share our feelings and our hearts would be twisted by some for insidious purposes yet I know they are out there. Your responses for the most part have shown your resolve to persevere despite this. That makes me feel better knowing I have friends who really care. We are all at various stages but it seems we are all determined to understand ourselves and each other in spite of these potential predators. That gives me a lot of confidence. Not only in the little steps we take each and every day but for the future that we all hope for where society won't look at us all like a bunch of oddballs. One step at a time. My comments are always designed to genetate feedback which requires thinking. I'm just a guy who likes being a girl and having fun being myself. It would be really nice if some day, we could all get together for a big picnic in a park somewhere and even the public would be invited to share in the fellowship and games. The best part would be the news coverage of the event. A tiny little article on page four down in the corner which reads: "CD.com holds annual picnic" two paragraphs long and no big deal just like any group picnic. Works for me.:happy: Ericka Kay

[kerrianna]

That picinic would be a hoot!

We could have races in heels, skirt twirls, all sorts of fun and games.

:heehee: I can just picture that now Ericka Kay. Thanks for making my night :hugs:

[Shannon CD]

It would be really nice if some day, we could all get together for a big picnic in a park somewhere and even the public would be invited to share in the fellowship and games. The best part would be the news coverage of the event. A tiny little article on page four down in the corner which reads: "CD.com holds annual picnic" two paragraphs long and no big deal just like any group picnic. Works for me.:happy: Ericka Kay

You know, Ericka, that's not such a bad idea. But in the interest of logistics I think it would need to be several picnics held on the same day at the same time in several places around the country and other parts of the world. It could work. Then we could all come back to the forum and hear stories about our collective picnics. I think you're onto something. (Not so sure about inviting the public, yet, however)

[Kate Simmons]

You know, Ericka, that's not such a bad idea. But in the interest of logistics I think it would need to be several picnics held on the same day at the same time in several places around the country and other parts of the world. It could work. Then we could all come back to the forum and hear stories about our collective picnics. I think you're onto something. (Not so sure about inviting the public, yet, however)Yeah Shannon, I just realized after reading your comment that I should have phrased it that the public would be welcome if they so desired to attend. Good catch Hon. I think the mutiple site picnic idea is great. That would be a positive statement, no? Just folks having a get together, no fuss, no muss, just enjoying one another's company and having fun.:happy:

[Marla S]

It unsettles me to think our willingness to share our feelings and our hearts would be twisted by some for insidious purposes yet I know they are out there.
Not quite what you speak about, but right now there is a thread running that makes me ..... let's say .... wonder.

Kind of like:
I observed you having sex.
What brand of lubricant do you use?
Can you show me how to apply it ?
I tried several brands, but I am not satisfied.


Not:
Hi, I am your new neighbour....
or
Hi my name is ....
or
Hi, my I introduce myself first

NO

Just: What's your brand of lubricant ?

Just imagine this in real life.

And some are willing to answer.:rolleyes:

I don't get it. That's everything but not ladylike.:thumbsdn:

[Kate Simmons]

Nothing like being subtle right, Marla? "Hi, my name is Billie Bob. Wanna screw?" Sheesh! takes all kinds, right?:rolleyes:

[Shannon CD]

Yeah Shannon, I just realized after reading your comment that I should have phrased it that the public would be welcome if they so desired to attend. Good catch Hon. I think the mutiple site picnic idea is great. That would be a positive statement, no? Just folks having a get together, no fuss, no muss, just enjoying one another's company and having fun.:happy:

So how do we organize something like this?

[suzy]

:2c: I am not sure who this is directed at or really why. I haven't seen evidence of anyone using us here? If you do suspect it then I suggest do not respond to their posts.

I read most all of the posts and respond to a few. Most of my response are short and to the point. It takes a lot of time to read everyone's posts. Some topics require a more thorough answer....i.e. this one! Yet others enjoy reading all of the information on a particular topic of interest, as I have on occasion.

You notice I don't have a pic on my avatar...even tho you have asked at least twice, that I'm aware of, for us to display them...but there are valid reasons not to. Mine is because I appreciate anonymity. I am in the closet and I am not looking forward to being exposed. The more "personal" information I reveal the more pieces of the puzzle someone "could" (not that anyone would) put together that may lead to my discovery.

I am in a well respected, well sought after position and I intend to stay there. You may distrust others for various reasons, but I'd rather be on the safe side than have to worry about how much trust I need here.

So, l think that we all have our reasons for not revealing personal information and I don't believe any pre-judgements should be made based upon the lack of presenting personal information.:2c:

[RobynG]

Ericka.
I pretty new here, and the confidence in 'Who I am' since I've joined the girls (Yes, with an i) has made my life better with the SO because I've learned how to keep my head up and make eye contact when we talk about the whole CDing issues. She's known for years, but maybe not the amount of time that Robyn is in the neighborhood. I personally joined this group to get advice and to know that there are other people like me.

I started out as a guest, but after a little time (one visit) I decided to join. Because I knew this site was special, some place where we can spill our guts and still get support from someone who has "been there, done that".

And as far as sharing with some maybe not so accepting people, that's their personal problem.

Robyn

[kerrianna]

Nothing like being subtle right, Marla? "Hi, my name is Billie Bob. Wanna screw?" Sheesh! takes all kinds, right?:rolleyes:

He told me his name was Bobbie Bill! Sheesh is right! That louse! I knew I shouldn't have said "ok"!

:lol: :roflmao:

[Madeleine]

Thanks for beginning thread Erika. It has made me think that because I found a forum in which I could share my thoughts, fears, aspirations with other like minded creatures to myself it would be OK to drop in a few other bits of information. It didn't occur to me that there were lurkers about who might not be really welcome to our domain.

I have decided to be a little more cautious (is there a spell checker on this forum?) in my future posts. My 'coming out' on this forum was the first time I had ever confessed (if thats the right word) to dressing to anyone ever, and because I was welcomed by others I relaxed my style and told more. Perhaps I will tread a little more gently in future.

Love to you all and have a very Merry Christmas - Madeleine...

[Kate Simmons]

He told me his name was Bobbie Bill! Sheesh is right! That louse! I knew I shouldn't have said "ok"!

:lol: :roflmao:So who do we go after for support? Seriously though, I've been "hit on" in just this way several times(and I wasn't dressed provocatively) by guys with all the personality of a rusty door knob who assume that just because you are en femme, you automatically are looking for some "action". It's lead heads like this I'm talking about. Don't get booby trapped if someone wants to meet you in person and just use your pretty little head.:happy:

[Kenix]

I don't give out information about my age or where I live in my profile but it just me. I know enough not to "give out too much" and I also understand that the more you post the more others can learn about you.

I also want to apologize to those that I did not answer certain questions about myself.

[Tina Dixon]

My self I say it as I see it, weather I'm the first person to reply or the hundredth, got to get my opinion out there and let the marbles as they say.

[Kate Simmons]

Even though some folks took it personally, I wasn't criticizing anyone for their anonimity, I know you have your reasons, I rather wanted to raise awareness of the fact that what we do here is public and anyone can become a member. Like DT showed us, you can usually spot these types by subject matter or context. The threads are there , the comments are there for all to see and take advantage of in more ways than one it seems. I will concede that any information you share in public or private is your own business and your own choice. If I'm guilty of anything, it's caring too much about my friends, it seems.Take that for what you feel it is worth.:happy: Ericka

[Joy Carter]

we pay for having an open supportive forum, much like free speech gives jerks the opportunity to bash anyone they want.

Free Speech = Jerk ? Sounds like someone dosen't like our Democratic system. I'd be more inclined to call them assholes. But then that's the free speech in me talking.:rolleyes:

[Kate Simmons]

Free Speech = Jerk ? Sounds like someone dosen't like our Democratic system. I'd be more inclined to call them assholes. But then that's the free speech in me talking.:rolleyes:Thank you for putting it succinctly Joy, I believe that sums it up.;) :hugs: :happy:

[Michelia]

One day not too far off I will post some pics. They may not include my face but they will be real.

I do appreciate all your comments and the time you have given me always, dear.

Michelia

[Naomi]

Stupid question here (Yeah, what else is new?). When some new "dark horse" joins the Forum who shares no information about themself in their profile or a picture, why are we sometimes so eager to spill our guts, especially if they ask pointed questions? I'm not referring to the people we more or less know as some have various reasons for not giving information, they have more or less "proven" themselves and I have no reservations posting a comment, especially if I feel it can help and especially in relation to CD issues. I sometimes hesitate to post until I see where the thread is going to get the "feel" of it to see if the person is genuine or not. It somewhat irks me to provide entertainment for some "jackass" who may just be doing it to see what us "pervs" have to say. I realize the Forum is more or less anonymous and a tool for otherwise closeted folks to get information but sometimes I just get the feeling we may be being "used" to fulfill someone's wacko fantasy. That won't stop me from posting even so if I feel the need for it. Just an observation, that's all. :happy: Ericka Kay

well im still finding my way with c/ding and this forum Ericka but i plan to post some pics of myself early in the new year (which im looking forward to doing)
i do understand your thought behind your post though.
Merry christmas by the way, infact merry christmas to all you girls. x

[Kate Simmons]

Be warned though Naomi, I take shy little girls such as your self and turn them into empowered women. Not in an "in your face" sort of way but in a way you make a positive impression on those you meet and they respect you for who you are. Becoming a "real" person others can relate to and depend on has always been my goal. Having good friends such as yourself is well worth the effort. Have a Merry Christmas Hon and take your time. We love you for who you are.:hugs: :happy: Ericka

[crusadergirl]

I have been here for awhile but i have never posted a pic either. The reason that is others use my computer and would have access to all my pics. I don't need everybody in my area knowing what i do. Which i'm sure they will find out one day.

[Kate Simmons]

That's okay Crusader Gal. I know you gotta keep your identity a secret being a super heroine and all. We're okay with you cause we know ya.:happy:

[Lanore]

If we really know inside who we are, we can see through the smoke cloud and get on with why we are here in the first place. To me, it's easy to spot the goofy threads.

Lanore

[marie354]

I've read about 1-1/2 pages of responses on this thread and I can understand the fears that some/all of have.
When I first signed up, it was questionable... Was this site for real?
It didn't really take much time reading before I decided to post my info with a pic I took with my camera phone. Not a good pic, mind ya, but I wanted the ''REAL'' people on here to be able to know about me as well. Now that I've made a few responses, and replies to some of the posts I've made, I feel good about this place, the people, subjects we've discussed (Most of the time), are of interest to me. Some, though, you know, are just for fun... e.g Lets all be pirates. I try to ignore the ignorant ones myself. even though I've read some of them, I don't usually respond to those.
Most of us, I assume, (I don't think I'm making an ass out of myself here.), are the ''REAL DEAL''. I enjoy this site and spend a lot of time here.

But bottom line... There's a latin expression, I can't remember it exactly, but it translates to... ''Don't let the basterds get you down''
We know we in our own right, so why let anyone else spoil what we have.
Although, we should be careful of who we go out and meet, I agree.
A lot of people here don't use their real names, so you'll never know who they really are.
If someone wanted to find me, it wouldn't be very hard because I live in a very small town.
Well enough ranting for now. I hope that I've expressed my views well enough here so that others can understand me a little better, because I'm sure feeling better about my self nowadays and I don't feel like I have to hide anything.
:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

I think you are pretty cool Sandy. You are open and honest and truely seeking answers. As long as I've been at this, I'm still learning something new every day. Sometimes it's painfully obvious that I never saw it but a simple comment here will bring it out. When I first joined, I shared my heartfelt feelings yet I sensed that some reserved judgment on what I said as I didn't have a real pic. I honestly did not have a camera and I'm not that good with them anyway. As you say, most of us are genuine but there are always the few who are not. It didn't take me long to be willing to take a chance sharing information about myself as I felt most of the folks here were real and I was confident I wasn't going to be riduculed for my feelings or beliefs. In my case, really the only things I don't share is my street address, last name and phone #, everything else is an "open book" because I feel if I don't lay my feelings bare, no one will identify with me. I'm not saying everyone else should do that but that's just my confidence level in the people here. As I said, most here are genuine, it's only that very small percentage that are not and would do us harm in some way. That's the reason I started the thread to raise awareness of that possibility. I've been "burned" in the past and would hate to see folks who are really seeking help to understand this thing get hurt. The bottom line is we have to screen things for ourselves and use our own judgment. It's refreshing to me to know I have friends here I can share things with and we can continue to grow together.:happy: Ericka

[Chiana]

The spelling is probably wrong but the latin expression is:

"illegitimi non carborundum" or something to that effect. I guess I could google it to find out exactly. But I am lazy.

[Crissy Kay]

Very interesting thread Ericka. I enjoy reading many of the posts here. But, being drawn to the fetish side of cding, there is very littile info that I can give that will help anyone here. Anyway, I think this is a great place to meet people like ourselves, and maybe learn something from them, or their mistakes. Just rember to be careful with giving out personal info. It can always be used to harm you in some way.