How/When do you tell the kids?

[RobynG]

My off-springs, daughter 12 and son 10 don't really know about Robyn. My daughter caught me a few years ago wearing a bra, but I've hidden it from her ever since that frightening night.

The SO has known since before we were married, but I don't know how to handle the kids.

Advice?

Robyn

[Sandra]

Only you know your kids and may have some idea as to how they'll react.

We just sat down one night and told our daughter who was 14 at the time that "dad liked to wear womens clothes" she just took it in her stride infact one thing she said was "yeah I had an idea" which shook us a bit because Nigella had been really careful the next thing she said was " can I borrow your clothes". She is now 17 and very protective of her Dad,

As for your son I can't really comment on that only having a daughter hopefully some of the girls will be able to say more on that one.

When and if you tell them I wish you luck and let us know how it goes.

[Victoria Anne]

Thats a good question. I dont think you can say there is a right or wrong time to tell them,that is that yu know them and thier level of maturity so only you can say for sure. I wish I could be of help,my kids dont know and I dont beieve I will ever tell them,life is tough enough for them. Do ask yourself this ,do you go out or are youin the closet ?If your in the closet then why tell them at all. If you are out then you must decide when to tell them,it wpuld be a shock for them to find out by other means.Sorry I cant be of much help,best of luck:hugs: :hugs:

[lauraabdl]

I have Five children all grown up and moved out on their own. My daughter caught me once when I was partially dressed in my lingere, she told her mother and as far as I know that is as far as it went. My daughter has never asked me anything. My SO knows and only partially approves. So most of my CDing is done when she is not around. Don't know if this helped but it was something that I felt I needed to share.

just one of the girls to become.

[BethCD]

Robyn, This is a tough area. You'll probably get lots of responses. I've wanted to let my daughter (27) in on the secret but not sure how she'd take it. Your kids are younger and that could be a lot for them to handle at that age.
Myself I would try a few "tests", like tyr to gauge their opinion of tg issues in general. As in rent Tootsie or Mrs. Doubtfire or some mainstream tg movie and watch their reaction and maybe explain to them that it's not such a bad thing.
Baby steps though is my suggestion. :2c: Let us know what develops.

Best of luck, Beth :hugs:

[Sandra]

Victioria has brought up a good point about being in the closet. We told Amy that if she wanted to tell any of her friends, so that she had someone her age to talk to if she wanted to then we was ok with that, infact she told nearly all of her friends and all of them was ok with her.

Telling Amy also set the ball rolling for Nigella to come out to friends and family.

[RobynG]

No, I am not an 'out' person, I keep it home, largely due to the fact that I will never 'pass'. But having said that I do like my Robyn time. Like I said my SO understands what is going on and supports me. I guess I'm concerned about "getting caught??" again by my daughter, after all she is wearing a bra herself these days.

Robyn

[janedoe311]

Until they are 30.

Same as the birds and the bees.

[Butterfly Bill]

If you are out, and kids see other adults treating you normally, the kids will eventually start treating you normally, even if they might be bewildered at first. That has been my experience in the neighbohood where I now live and in my last one, as well as numerous Rainbow Gatherings. Take your child to a gay pride event to further advance the process.

If they observe adults acting like it is something to hide, they will think there is something wrong with it, even if they don't exactly know what it is.

[Mary Morgan]

I think there needs to be a reason to consider telling them before adulthood. Of course adulthood occurs when one has the capacity to reason and understand, but not necessarily agree. So, if you think they need to know, and if you think they can understand, then go for it and be prepared with information. If you need for them to know, then you and your SO need to join forces and support each other in telling them. My instinct is that your daughter might be able to handle this now, but I think your son needs to grow a little more. Maturity is the key. You and your SO are the best judges.
Good Luck, Louise