Accidental Outing

[Kristi1948]

First off I want apologize for the length of this thread, but I don't know how to shorten it up.

It started this past June, I bought a new car and went to Dallas to visit family and break in my new wheels. While sitting on my moms deck with my Mother, Brother, SIL, and oldest Niece (brother has 3 girls 13/15/17), the subject of my Nephews July wedding came up and the fact that my nephews fiancee wanted the 3 girls as part of the wedding party and proceeded to start a description of the dresses she wanted for the girls. They were trying to explain all the details of these dresses and started to describe the back of the dress with laces from just above the waist to about the shoulder blade I said "oh corset style". Instantly 8 pairs of eyes were riveted on me and everyone fell silent. I know they were wondering how I would know so much about dress styles. Anyway after what seemed like forever the conversation picked up again where it left off and everything was fine.

Now with that part being explained comes the strange part and my questions.

My mother and I talk every weekend. About a month after the dress incident while talking to mom she started telling me about her "Living Will". She was telling me that everything given to her by us kids would go back to the one that gave it to her (nothing strange yet). Then she got to more personal items and mentioned her earrings. She said "I'm guessing you would not wear my earrings" to which I replied "I haven't had my ears pierced yet" and let that one lie. Then last weekend while talking to her she said "you know there is nothing about any of you kids or anything you do that would change my love for you.

Now to my brother. He and I talk about every 4 to 6 weeks and every time we talk now he will say something alluding to the feminine. He called me today as he knows I am coming down to spend the holidays with them and wanted to know if I was driving down today or tomorrow. Anyway at the end of this conversation he says "Well Bro I have to go to the little girls room and powder my nose" and started laughing.

I don't feel the need to "come out" and would never dress in front of him or his family. His girls are at a very impressionable age and think the world of their uncle (me). I never want to cause any un-due stress on any of them.

There are so many of you here that have much to offer and have probably been in a similar situation. Should I let "sleeping dogs lie" and see where this is going or should I be the one to get it out in the open????????? I don't want to cause any rift as we only get together 2 to 3 times a year and really enjoy the family time.

If you have made it this far, again I apologize for the length and would like your opinions as I am going to see them tomorrow. Thanks in advance...Kris

[juliek]

Let sleeping dogs lie. We always use terms like that in our family and I THINK I am the only CD in the whole group. Except maybe one boy that married my niece who shaves his legs......hmmm

[Debra Lynn]

Since you have indicated that you don't want to bring this to the forefront (and there is no reason why you have to), I would just let things go. This is family and there is no sense roiling the waters for the sake of seeing reactions unless that is what you are trying to do. I don't get that from your post. Mom may have been opening the lines of communication to you with her comment, and she may have been seeking reassurance that you are not gay (usually the first question asked when someone reveals thier inclinations to cross dress) by indicating her love for you no matter what.

Let them have the time to consider thier reaction to the knoweldge you already possess, and have time to assess the person you are instead of what you may be doing that could clash with thier idea of you. It sounds like you are in the "suspect" phase of things (where they don't really know, and are trying in thier own way to scope things out) but they don't quite know what they suspect you of! If you are still thier son and brother the majority of the time, I think they will come to accept other unknown aspects because you are such a wonderful son/brother/uncle.

I think you show great respect for your brother and his family by not pushing things into a confrontation (men don't react well to confrontation, fight or flight syndrome, women have one extra reaction, flirt). There will be the quips occassionally, and eventually he may actually ask the question he is thinking about instead of trying to dance around it and that will be the time to be honest and truthful with your Bro. I wish you all the best and hope this view of things might help!

[finacarina]

Three years ago I told my brother about my cding and he was totally blown away, not because of me being a cd, but because he is too. We continually talk about our experiences and help each other out. Go figure- something I thought that if I told him might tear us apart, actually brought us even closer than we already were. So you never know!

[Glenda58]

I'm not into letting sleeping dogs lie kick them to get them out of the way. Tell the family and let things fall where they may. They keep hinting so tell them I did and guess what it stopped and I go to all family reunions and get together. I don't dress in front of them but my sisters keep giving me things. And they still love me.

[Mary Morgan]

You are the only one who can know what id best for you, but since you asked, I would have a chat with Mom. If you think she has been dropping hints, and I think she has, then tell her about yourself. She will guide you with respect to the others. It sounds to me like your family can handle this, and why not? You have done nothing to be ashamed of. Even when they know, you don't have to dress for them unless you want to. Hugs, Louise

[CarmenG]

Save it for another time, but I would suggest that if you are wanting to get this off your chest, then wait till after the holidays and just sit and chat with your mom. You'd be surprised just how understanding she will be. If she is getting her will fixed, then you need to ease this subject in.
Mothers have a way of knowing " STUFF"... trust her...:2c:

[Kristi1948]

I appreciate all of your thoughtful input.

In all honesty I will say that my family knows of my CD'ing. It is just something that we don't discuss. I am 58 years old and mom has known for more than 50 years. My brother and sister have both known since the early 60's. My sister used to be very supporting, now whenever we talk nothing is mentioned about dressing, but she is always trying to bolster the masculine/male side

Just since the dress incident in June did all this other start taking place. Maybe I am just being paranoid and there is really nothing to what is being said.