Would This Work?

[Dasein9]

So, I'm going home for Xmas. Am kind of dreading it, since I came out to Mom in August, and she's still waffling between denial and anger. She's also forbidden me to tell anyone else in the family that I'm trans.

But there have been some changes, like my haircut, clothes, the fact that I don't have bras anymore, but only binders, stuff like that.

So, instead of just praying for a really bad snowstorm, it occured to me that I could go to the drugstore, buy some supplies, and show up at home with bright blue hair.

At least that way, I'd know what they're going to yell at me about.
Think it'd work?

[Abraxas]

Well, I like the idea of bright blue hair personally. But do you agree with your mom that you shouldn't tell anyone else? I mean, you can't not tell them because she doesn't want you to. If you don't want to, either, that's a different thing. *shrugs* just my two sense.
But yeah, the blue hair thing would probably work.

[Kieron Andrew]

it would certainly give her something else to focus on and bitch about lol

[Dasein9]

My attitude about Mom's orders has been that I'll respect her wishes until it becomes too great a burden to do so. Or until people start asking questions.

I am reluctant to start a fight at Christmas, and haven't done any Coming Out homework, like writing a letter or anything.

[bi_weird]

Yeah I think a distraction may be in order... and at least in my family blue hair would help. I understand not wanting to go further - give your mom time to adjust if you think she'll be able. I'll be thinking happy thoughts for you that you get through it all in one piece.

[pocoyo]

So, I'm going home for Xmas. Am kind of dreading it, since I came out to Mom in August, and she's still waffling between denial and anger. She's also forbidden me to tell anyone else in the family that I'm trans.

But there have been some changes, like my haircut, clothes, the fact that I don't have bras anymore, but only binders, stuff like that.

So, instead of just praying for a really bad snowstorm, it occured to me that I could go to the drugstore, buy some supplies, and show up at home with bright blue hair.

At least that way, I'd know what they're going to yell at me about.
Think it'd work?

Well I guess they'll just have to put up with your haircut and slightly altered dress sense.
Haha I wouldn't do the blue hair thing incase they (wrongly) think that it's somehow related to your being trans (rather than to distract them from it) and that you're making a rebellious statement to annoy them. They might freak out and think "Oh dear this trans thing is even more altering than I thought!!"
I reckon you should just go along as a sort of androgynous looking person that they can't moan at. And be yourself, sort of just be chilled out and friendly and act normal. If you go feeling nervous and paranoid that they're gonna tell you off they will probably pick up on that vibe... but if you're totally laid back, cool and friendly, they will hopefully react accordingly.

:happy: Very good luck old bean!

[Dasein9]

Hmm... Maybe I'll take a Zyrtec. They calmed me down for comps. That way, even if there is a fight, I'll be too mellow to participate.

Yeh, I guess 37 is a bit old (and a bit young) to be going for the blue hair.

[pocoyo]

Haha mellow is good. :happy:

There is no age limit for excellently colored hair!!! Especially if worn with a bit of a punk chic style. 37 is well young anyway!
Haha but yeah steer clear of those granny type blue rinses :straightface: :p

[CaptLex]

Well, I like blue hair (punk style, not granny style), but I can see Pocoyo's point about that making it harder for them to adjust in the long run. I'm sure people will notice the slightly altered appearance, but when they see that you're still the same person they know and love, they won't think much of it anymore. I think Mom will be more supportive too once she's adjusted better to the idea - at least she sounds the type. Good luck and let us know how it went. :happy:

[Felix]

Hi Des It's a hard one alright. I know the nightmare of coming out and I don't think I'll be going there again with my parents, I don't think I know how I would explain to them my gender dysphoria so I prob won't go there. It's going to be hard for ya relatives not to notice ya short hair and lack of boobs though so be ready for the questions. I'm not that brave when I go home its back to wearing a bra and more feminine tops lol not that I look feminine. It does my head in but I guess it's the respect thing like with your parents. Good luck hun and lets know how it goes xx Felix :hugs:

[Dasein9]

Hey! That wasn't so bad at all!

No fights, no awkward questions. I just made sure I did my own laundry, so Mom wouldn't have to deal with seeing my undershorts and that I put the binders on in private.

Two small things did happen...
1. Dad introduced me at church to some folks as his daughter. It doesn't seem to have registered with one young woman, who kept making eyes at me. She's about 17, and I can only think she thought I was a young man. Oi. Kind of ghastly. Especially as her father is one of the four pastors who did the Xmas services.

2. Mom kept getting my pronoun right in conversation! She corrected herself every time, but called me "he" three or four times.

[CaptLex]

Dad introduced me at church to some folks as his daughter. It doesn't seem to have registered with one young woman, who kept making eyes at me.
Or maybe it did . . . ;)

Glad things went well. So no blue hair, huh? Too bad, I was kind of looking forward to seeing that. :heehee:

[Dasein9]

Only the kind of blue I got from using Mom & Dad's shampoo.

[Lex]

Awesome to hear things went okay! Blue hair is an awesome idea though, I think I'll try that next time I'm headed for a spot of bother.