Question to GGs

[Helana]

This is to keep Tamara happy, she is so demanding! :p

By allowing your SO delve into his female persona, have you felt like delving into a male persona? Just my observation that my girlfriend, who is wonderfully accepting, seems almost relieved that she does not have to keep up being feminine herself when we are together and is totally relaxed about saying and doing things which are not typical for GGs. Also I have to say that she really enjoys role reversal while we are in bed.

So has your partner's crossdressing freed you in anyway to explore your personality and discover things about yourself that you never realised? (I feel like I am in Sex and the City as I type this :D )

[Tamara Croft]

I've never really thought about it to be honest... as for male persona....uhmm... nope, not something I've thought of. As for the sexual side.... when she's dressed as Tammy, I'm dressed as Tamara.... ****ty tarts :D

Tamara x

[ChristineRenee]

I've never really thought about it to be honest... as for male persona....uhmm... nope, not something I've thought of. As for the sexual side.... when she's dressed as Tammy, I'm dressed as Tamara.... ****ty tarts :D

Tamara x****ty tarts...hmmmmm....YESSSSSS....threesome.....YESSSS S....dungeon.....tie up.....tickle.....feather......YESSSSSSS.....whipp ed creme......thank you Mistress may I have another.......YESSSSSS......AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH HHH.....:eek:

[Helana]

I've never really thought about it to be honest... as for male persona....uhmm... nope, not something I've thought of. As for the sexual side.... when she's dressed as Tammy, I'm dressed as Tamara.... ****ty tarts :D

Tamara x

So when your SO is dressed up, you become more feminine?

[Tamara Croft]

Well Helana it's like this. When I'm in normal mode (name here) I wear trousers, shirts, or strappy tops etc... wouldn't dream of wearing a skirt :p they just don't suit me at all. I'm more of a conservative look person. So when my SO dresses up.... I wouldnt say I become more feminine because we both look like tarts really... short skirts, little tight tops, stockings, boots etc... My SO becomes more submissive and I become more dominant... it's the other way round when shes not enfemme :D

Tamara x

[Helana]

So in a sense you do adopt a masculine persona in that you become the dominant partner and you dress in a way that you would not normally.

In other words, allowing your SO to crossdress also frees you to adopt a different persona yourself. Thats really what I was hinting at from the start -I was not meaning you became a guy or anything like that.

So your description pretty much matches what happens with my girlfriend except that she does not dress up, she is more likely to dress down. But my crossdressing has allowed her to behave in a way she would have never done in a "normal" relationship.

Next question - has Tam's crossdressing enriched your life?

Follow-up question - knowing what you know now, if Tam had told you on your first date together that he was a crossdresser then would you still have proceeded with him or would you have saved yourself all the tears and doubts and found yourself a "normal" guy

Sorry to badger you but this is the first time I have chatted to a clued-up SO and its nice to hear how you have coped with it.

[ChristineRenee]

Helana,

Good questions and thanks for bringing them up here. As a long-time CD'er, 41 years and counting, I am looking forward to hearing Tamara's comments as well as the comments of the other gg's on the forum if they choose to respond.

I have wanted to ask other wives of CD's/TG's these questions for years now...so Tamara baby....it's time to fess up!:)


Luv,
Christine Renee

[Vickie-CD]

Helana, you are so right, it seems most GG's are unaccepting of x-dressing. You are very lucky, hold on to her.
Love,
Vickie

[silkenhose]

Helana,

just thought i would pass on my comments. When i am dressed up i become bery submissive to my SO, she becomes very dominant. She definately controls what i do and what i wear, i guess this could be viewed as taking the male role? however her clothing is always sexy girl stuff, however again she does where business suits when we play, but always with skirts. so i guess after typing this out i would say she takes a very dominant female role........and i take on a sunbmissive female role.

anyway when we got up she had me dress in a leotard and pantyhose now so i assume i wil be seeing the dominant GG here soon....... :o

[racheal]

I don't mean to interupt this thread with this 'blonde' question (I am blonde as you all know :)), but what is 'GG'? I m trying to keep up with the new lingo. Sorry for the question, but I have to learn somewhere, why not right here?

[ChristineRenee]

Genetic Girl, Rach.:)

[racheal]

Genetic Girl, Rach.:)
Oh, thank you Christine - greatly appreciated. **Hugs**

[Tamara Croft]

Next question - has Tam's crossdressing enriched your life?

Follow-up question - knowing what you know now, if Tam had told you on your first date together that he was a crossdresser then would you still have proceeded with him or would you have saved yourself all the tears and doubts and found yourself a "normal" guy. Sorry to badger you but this is the first time I have chatted to a clued-up SO and its nice to hear how you have coped with it.

Enriched.... I would have to say yes, it's more exciting, always something different to do and wear... different make-up looks... and we have so much fun together. I have learnt so much about her and crossdressing and it has opened my eyes in more ways than you could possibly believe. I wish society would just see things the way I do and be more accepting.

If Tam had told me on the very first day... I doubt it would of made a difference. From the first day we met... it was one of those 'love at first site' meetings, even though we had only known each other for 2 days (long story). As for meeting a 'normal guy' what exactly is normal?? Tam is normal... it's everyone else thats weird :D

As for being badgered... I don't mind... and as for being clued up... I got all my help from the girls here :) Without them, I don't think I would be so clued up. I read so much about the girlz lives here... as for coping... that was hard at first... now... its just another part of my life. I get a b/f and a g/f :p

Tamara x

[Topaz]

Hi Helana,

When my SO and I started living together he asked about dressing him up as a cheerleader or hooker. Being neither into cheerleaders or hookers I said no I wasn't interested and he didn't mention it again for years.

Unfortunatly he was asking the wrong question. He got the courage up to talk with me about it again but this time approached it as dressing as a woman. That I can totally agree with, together we have bought him clothing, make-up, wigs etc. to make his altar ego Jamie. (She has a better wardrobe than I do)

I occasionally pick out outfits for her but prefer to have her surprise me with her mood. For me there's nothing quite like having her be dressed as a classy lady that I can spend some special time with. I find more and more I take a dominate role in bed as kind of a mix of male and female. (I get to tell her what positions I like)

We are having fun exploring different roles and each other. And yes I do let her dress as a hooker once in a while but no cheerleaders.

Would I have gone away if he had told me when we met that he cross dressed? No, I already had been with "normal" guys and found that most the the time they are just A.H.'s. Now I just have to get his female side to connect with his male side when he's in drab and kick the s**** out of him when he misbehaves. :D We've been together 10 years and I've known about his cross dressing for close to five years.

Topaz

[Lily_gg]

It's still very early days for my bf and me in terms of how long I've known about his dressing, and we still have a lot of stuff to work through in the relationship generally, but I think even if he'd told me on our first date, we'd still be together now. In fact, we'd probably have a better relationship, because we'd have been open and honest with each other from the start about everything.

Actually, thinking back on our first date, if he'd have told me then, I probably would've made him dress up for me sometime in the next 48hrs :p But he hadn't come to terms with it enough himself - he was still in the denial "I'm a bad person" phase, which he is thankfully now coming out of.

Throughout the relationship, before he told me, I did sort of get the feeling that maybe it was something he wanted to try, but never thought it was something he already did (little things, like wanting me to wear red lippie in bed, then extending it to him wearing it too; letting me paint his toenails when I did mine; not objecting to me putting eyeshadow on him and so on - alcohol and silliness being the reasons for most of my actions :D), and even tried to suggest it a few times, but never outright asked him - the times I hinted, he either ignored, or backed off, so I gave up. I also assured him many times that however 'kinky' he wanted to get (this being how he described it - his fetish, kinky, etc), I'd be ok with it, but he was too firmly in denial :(

And now, well, he understands himself better, thanks to all the advice you lovely ladies have been giving me; we still have a few problems when he's being "blokey", standoffish and so on, but I think the cure for that might be for me to just tell him to stop being so blokey everytime he is; and he knows that he's got all the support he needs (and, even if I do say so myself, a shopping companion with very good taste, especially in pressies for him! :D (see my Girlie Christmas pressie for him thread - I'm very proud of it!))

ps I'll ditto Tamara - happy to be badgered any time!

[ChristineRenee]

Thank you Tamara, Lily, and Topaz for your very insightful comments. I think all of us here on this forum, both t-girls and gg's, are learning more and more about each other and CD'ing every day. As I have stated before, I think our causes require us to all stand together as a sisterhood. For the CD/TG/TS community to ever gain acceptance in mainstream society, we are going to need our fellow sisters, the gg's, to help us to educate society that CD'ing is not wrong, or perverse, but actually a condition that celebrates the very positive aspects of both genders being housed in a single body. The more women are recognized and appreciated for all the very wonderful and decent human traits, the loving, caring, and nurturing aspects of their gender, something that society has failed to hold in high esteem of and virtually conditioned out of the male gender, the closer we will be to the day when all of us will have the ultimate freedom of self-determination when it comes to projecting the real person we are inside to mainstream society.

Many thanks once again to our gg sisters for all of your comments and for standing by us and supporting us the way that you do. What would we ever do without you wonderful ladies in our lives?

To all of you with love from all of us,
Christine Renee

[Chrissycd]

slip in a question here, too, please?
I am surprised that the gg's seem unanimous responding to the question about whether they'd have dumped their cd's if they'd have found out right from the outset that they were cd's. So, that makes me wonder...
Do you think that any gg's would respond to a bit on a site like match.com in which a cd posted pix of himself both in drab and en femme with an accompanying introductory text? I would think that because the contact is not in person, no gg would even consider a making contact. Am I not giving gg's enough credit, or is there something to the thought that meeting the cd in person, in drab, is the first thing that needs to happen, and THEN, if they feel strongly about each other, he should go ahead and let her know about cding. I have very good gg girlfriends I'll have to ask about this, too. I have stopped dating though, because I am so fearful of rejection, ridicule, or whatever. Do I just need to be more confident and grow a thicker skin or what? This single act is getting damn old.
:confused:
Chrissy

[Celeste GG]

OK give us a chance.... keep your frilly knickers on! ..we are in short supply and in great demand abd sometin=mes have better things to do... well sometimes, but this place is addictive.

I am gernerally mild mannered easy going GG ... but with CD's go two ends of the pole.... depends on the CD... for submissive B&D type I am leather/latex/PVC wearing Domina Bitch goddess. Taking many "male" qualities" including strap on bits.

But sometimes it gives me a chance to be extra girlie and have afternoon tea parties and be very demure and refined.

ALL DEPENDS ON MY [SIZE=4]MOOD

[Helana]

Tamara

You really are a cutie! I think if the SO can come to terms with their partner crossdressing, it has a profound effect on their whole outlook on life and makes them think about issues which they would never have. And yes it brings something different and exciting into the relationship.

I am glad that you would have stayed with Tam anyway. I think the vast majority of women would if they were told early on. If you like the guy then you would see where the relationship would take you. But of course most of us CDersare either too scared or are in denial to tell you.

I am so happy that I told my honey from day 1. Once I had come to terms with who I was, I met up with an ex-girlfriend who I occasionaly kept in touch with and told her about my CDing and how happy I was now that I had come to terms with my emotions. She burst into tears and demanded to know why I could not have told her while we were together, she said we would have still been together if I could have opened up to her. I think she is right. She hated me for a while then admitted that all her boyfriends after me were all assholes and that she really wanted to get back together again because I was so loving. Thankfully so has thought everything through and we are still friends.

Topaz

That is great that you are so welcoming and you get to enjoy yourself as well.
I think that is a key element. CDing must not just be about the man having fun by himself, somehow the SO must also get something out of it so that it becomes a shared experience. Personally I dont think arrangements where the wife knows about the CDing but never wants to see it is not healthy and just erects a wall between them. To me, it says the SO has not accepted the situation and that is likely to cause trouble later.

Lily

Believe me it is worth getting through this stage and if you have enjoyed and open and honest relationship so far, well it can only get better.

I truely believe that CDing makes a man a better, more balanced person, someone who will love you more and will be devoted to the relationship. Lots of acceptance and forgiveness all round and the two of you will be inseparable.

As for his "blokeish standoffiss" that was me too! I was so paranoid that any display of emotion or affection would somehow tip people off about my feelings that I just shut off my emotions and ignored romanticism etc. Most men have problems expressing their emotions, but a CDer in denial is probably even worse. Only after I came to terms myself and came out to some people that I broke down my own dam and the emotions just flooded out. Before I was quiet and cold, now I talk non-stop gibberish as you can observe and openly display my love for life and my honey. It was a big change-around and everybody was asking what happened to you?!

Celeste
You really like the fun bits don't you. So do I ;) My girlfriend too :) although she does not have to dress up to be a bitch :D


Thanks girls for the wonderful insights and the love you share with us and your SO. Be glad that I am on the other side of the world or I would be coming over to give you all an extra tight hug.

[Helana]

Chrissy

Be more confident! I agree with you most girls would shy away from a stranger posting pics like that although you might attract a bi-sexual or a girl in an experimental mood.

I would definitely recommend meeting girls in drab first and try to be a good judge of character if they seem to be a generally open person. Remember sharing such a deep personal secret like CDing is an attractive thing to most girls even if they do decide not to pursue a romantic involvement with you. I think most would want to see you crossdressed as well and once they see that you are still the same person even while dressed, then I dont think your CDing would stop romance from flourishing if the potential is there. Otherwise you will have more good friends to call on.

But you have to try and try again until you strike gold.

It will be intersting to see what our GGs say.

[Topaz]

slip in a question here, too, please?
I am surprised that the gg's seem unanimous responding to the question about whether they'd have dumped their cd's if they'd have found out right from the outset that they were cd's. So, that makes me wonder...
Do you think that any gg's would respond to a bit on a site like match.com in which a cd posted pix of himself both in drab and en femme with an accompanying introductory text? I would think that because the contact is not in person, no gg would even consider a making contact. . . . I have stopped dating though, because I am so fearful of rejection, ridicule, or whatever. Do I just need to be more confident and grow a thicker skin or what? This single act is getting damn old.
:confused:
Chrissy

Hi Chrissy,

A lot would depend on the introductory text for me. I would have to get the feeling that whoever posted it was sincere and not just pulling a prank. I am also fearful of rejection and ridicule not to mention being quite shy.

For me it would take quite a bit of emailing and other kinds of chat before I would make an official date. But I wouldn't have a problem with responding especially if the CD was cute. (By the way I checked out your avitar to look for a picture and you are cute. I would have prefered a picture that showed you face a little better though.)

GG's and CD's and every one else has the same problem when posting on dating sites of whether or not the person who posted/responded genuine or just a weirdo. Unfortunatly there are way too many weirdos out there, and because CDing is not the norm you may be opening yourself up to a lot of unwanted responses.

I also think it would probably be best to meet in drab and sound out how open the GG is, if they aren't open at least you had a night out. If you do decide to do this please be very careful, there are just too many weirdos both male and female. It takes a lot of patience and "kissing a lot of frogs" to find the princess.

I wish you the best and hope you find someone special for you.

Best of luck,
Topaz :)