Stlalice
12-25-2006, 03:49 PM
The following is part of a post to my Live Journal - In a way I got quite a pleasent surprise last night - perhaps those of you dealing with "coming out" to family and/or friends may find it of interest.
Finally a quiet day to rest and reflect. Last night a group of old friends and I got together for our annual christmas dinner and celebration - one big difference was that we agreed to not have a gift exchange this year. Instead, everyone was encouraged to bring several holiday cards for each member of the group. One sort of serious card and the rest of the humorous type. Many laughs were had, stories told, and a good meal eaten. In all a relaxed, fun time - with no pressure from gift shopping and or financial worries that go with it.
One thing that may surprise some people - this group has always had a somewhat mixed makeup, being made up of both straight and LGBT folk. Indeed one member surprised me last night - he has always been very "straight" and has had a hard time "getting his head around" my need to transition from male to female. He started asking questions about what was required - "what is it like ?" to transition - which I tried to answer in basic terms - I also offered the loan of a copy of "True Selves" to read at his leisure. It has been a very slow progression for him that started out as very reluctant acceptance of my staying in the group, to accepting me in his home, and now to wanting to learn more about transgender. In a way it shows that there is hope for those who would transition and are worried about the reactions of family and friends. Sometimes it takes people a long time to adjust, maybe years. The biggest thing being willing to let someone adjust at their own pace.
Need I say more? Sometimes it is a matter of not burning your bridges and being patient with people who may be outwardly hostile - they may come around and accept your status - when they are ready and in their own time. :thumbsup:
Finally a quiet day to rest and reflect. Last night a group of old friends and I got together for our annual christmas dinner and celebration - one big difference was that we agreed to not have a gift exchange this year. Instead, everyone was encouraged to bring several holiday cards for each member of the group. One sort of serious card and the rest of the humorous type. Many laughs were had, stories told, and a good meal eaten. In all a relaxed, fun time - with no pressure from gift shopping and or financial worries that go with it.
One thing that may surprise some people - this group has always had a somewhat mixed makeup, being made up of both straight and LGBT folk. Indeed one member surprised me last night - he has always been very "straight" and has had a hard time "getting his head around" my need to transition from male to female. He started asking questions about what was required - "what is it like ?" to transition - which I tried to answer in basic terms - I also offered the loan of a copy of "True Selves" to read at his leisure. It has been a very slow progression for him that started out as very reluctant acceptance of my staying in the group, to accepting me in his home, and now to wanting to learn more about transgender. In a way it shows that there is hope for those who would transition and are worried about the reactions of family and friends. Sometimes it takes people a long time to adjust, maybe years. The biggest thing being willing to let someone adjust at their own pace.
Need I say more? Sometimes it is a matter of not burning your bridges and being patient with people who may be outwardly hostile - they may come around and accept your status - when they are ready and in their own time. :thumbsup: