how to breaking the news to the women you love......

[scott55410]

I just recently told my girlfriend of 4 months that i crossdress on the 7th of this month....i thought it would be a good time to tell her about me and all about me. we were planning a great end of the year but after I broke the news she completly stopped talking to me and on the 19th we broke....this hasent been an isolated incedent, as far as romance goes every woman ive dated has broken up with me within a month after telling her about how i am and how i feel....all these gurlz ive been krazy about and it seem'd as if they lite up when i was around them but as is i need help with my situation.............Scott

[marie354]

Just be patient! There is a perfect mate for everyone out there somewhere. You'll find her/him eventually. It can seem trying sometimes, but remember... All good things come to those who wait.
:hugs:

[scott55410]

thanx for the reply Marie...

[Kate Simmons]

It seems these girlfriends you have had like you as a guy Scott. You have to be clear in your mind what you want as well. If CDing is that important to you, they should know your feelings early in the relationship. Then they know it is a necessary part of you up front and won't get a "bomb" dropped on them later when they find out the guy they like also likes to wear women's clothes. If they know it's a part of you and like you, they can incorporate that into their feelings for you. This is just a suggestion, but it seems there is sort of a pattern here. Like I said, you also have to be clear about what you want and are looking for.:happy: Ericka Kay

[Glenda]

When I first began crossdressing it bothered those whom I was intimate with more than those that I was just friends with. Two in particular made demands that I quit. I told them that this was a part of me and I was not going to quit. If they weren't happy with it then they weren't right for me. I broke up with both of them. A few years later they have both come to me and apologized saying that they made a mistake. After getting to know Glenda they realize that she and Glen are the same. Unfortunately, I still don't believe that either of them is right for me. If one of these girls that breaks up with you is really the right one, she will be back. After all, love can overcome all obstacles.

[Vanessa Sheridan]

Please know, Scott, that your crossdressing is too important and too much a part of you to deny or ignore. If you want to be in a relationship, I can say from experience that it's best to talk about your situation early on so the other person can decide whether or not to continue with you. I know that isn't necessarily easy, but it's really important to do so. If you and your partner/SO/girlfriend really come to love each other, she will accept you for who you are without conditions. If not, then perhaps you should keep looking. A woman who can't accept the reality of your essential self isn't right for you and will eventually cause you to resent her. You don't need that--you need to love and be loved wholly and completely, just like all of us. Therefore, my advice is to be honest, be smart, be reasonable, but most of all be true to yourself and honest with her. In the long run, you'll be glad you did. Hope some of this helps. I wish you the very best, Scott.

[Sandra]

With your next GF why not try telling her at the beginning of the relationship instead of leaving it till later.

[Marcie Sexton]

Just one thing to remember...

HER LOSS !!!

Hang in there girl:hugs:

[Suzie Green]

I know how hard it can be to talk about it to a girl friend or even a wife. It took me 36 years...3 dating and 33 of marriage before I could finally get out the details. I agree with the others, I'd keep looking, because the one who is perfect for you is still out there, and she'll accept everything about you. In the end, that's what you really want. :hugs:

Christine

[LauraKCD]

Christine - after that period of time, what did your wife say?

[Suzie Green]

Christine - after that period of time, what did your wife say?

Laura, I could not have picked a more perfect partner to travel through life with. As with everything else, she is behind me 100% and is as happy and relieved as me for having gotten the weight off my shoulders. We've spent the past 24 hours talking so much about it, since yesterday was the first time she'd seen me fully dressed. I wished I had done it sooner, but am not regretting a thing. I really think it's a tough decision to make, unless you know how strong the bonds are between you and your partner!

Christine

[Robin Leigh]

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup Scott. :hugs: These sort of things always hurt, but I think the pain is especially poignant at this time of the year.

If you want to find a girl that accepts you as a crossdresser, you have to tell her early in the relationship. Four months may not seem like a long time, but a lot can happen in the early days of a relationship, and it's during those early days that we learn what the other person is like. I prefer to tell my gfs about Robin when we've only slept together a few times, and even then they ask why I didn't tell them earlier...

Your ex-gf is upset because she found out that you were not the person she believed you to be, and on top of that, you are capable of deceiving her about significant life issues. She's clearly not interested in communicating with you about all this, so I'd say she's not the kind of person who could cope well with being with a CDer.

Why be happy with a SO that merely tolerates CDing, when you could find one that positively embraces it? How do we find such women? How do they find us? We have to give them a few clues that we CD, otherwise they'll never know. :)

:hugs:

Robin

[Jane GG]

Sorry Scott! Being a gf that just found out and is okay with it- doesn't mean I didn't still feel like I got hit with a lot. I'm not sure if telling someone immediately is the way to go either. You should tell them when you feel there is significant trust to do so, not just because you feel you should get it out right away. You need to feel comfortable discussing it- when that time is there, then you certainly should. When you are with the right person- they will love you regardless of what you are wearing. They will know that you are the person they love no matter what clothes you have on. It's not you- it is just you haven't found the right person for you YET. Don't worry or give up- you will!

[suzy]

Listen to Sandra!

Tell your girlfriends very early on in the relationship. The longer that you wait to tell them the less likely that they will be accepting.:2c:

[telawilson]

Why not post an ad in AdultFriendFinder (or any other dating site, I guess) that states up front that you're a CD? That way you're up front about it from the beginning and you might get lucky and find someone who's totally into it.

[Micki]

I wish you well and know exactly how you feel. If you ever want to talk to someone please free to email me.:love: Micki

[Melanie R]

Scott,

There are women in our world who will accept you and support your total self including the dressing. During the last year my wife and I spent many hours with a CD who was told by his wife of 20 years that she would never accept his dressing. He filed for divorce and almost immediately met a woman at his place of employment who is 100% supportive of his dressing. They will be married in 2007. Another CD had the same experience you encountered with most women telling him they would not accept the dressing. Six months ago he met a woman on a Christian online dating site that is 100% accepting of the dressing. Both of these couples will celebrate New Year's Eve enfemme at our home. A note about these couples: they have become active in our church - the largest and one of the most liberal Baptist churches in the world. Now these two wives to be of crossdressers are wanting to educate our church members on transgendered persons and hopefully more closeted members will join our local Tri-Ess support group. With a membership of 43,000 persons including 12,000+ adult males and using the statistic of 1% of adult males are transgendered, there are 120 men in our church who need to find us. Scott, this may give you hope for the future.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Rachaelb64]

Been there, still there....

My ex-wife found out the hard way she caught me dressed, things just went from bad to worse hence the 'ex'.....

Next couple girlfriends decided to be honest from the start, none them worked, one did try for a while, but she decided she couldn't handle it. Still on speaking terms :happy:

So decide to let any future girlfriends to use it as 'get-out clause' if they want to

So that's life I guess :D