Interesting case

[Megan72]

As I have said in the past I work with at risk youth in my little town. Last week while working with one young man I was told that the young man had come out and wanted to wear dresses and girls clothing rather than his own boy cloths. I have to admire the courage this kid showed, but I am worried that he is being very naive about the issue.

I have spent the better part of the last week working with the therapists and various profesionals that also work with him trying to get them to understand that we need to deal with emotions caused by the crossdresing and not to address the crossdressing as the problem. I think we all can relate to this type of behavior. Everyone I work with immediatly thought that there was something wrong with the kid. Well in a sence there is, but I do not beleive that it is the crossdressing, rather the confusion associated with his emotions.

All this and trying to not get outed myself, since I live in a pretty intollerant town of very few. Interesting week to be sure.

[Annaliese]

The thing is you are trying and that says a lot.

Anna

[Kate Simmons]

I think you are doing your part Kelliann. It's tough to be in the middle of the fire with this boy without ending up getting "burned" yourself. The issue hits home for sure. Just bear with it and do your best to help him to understand. That is a reward and an accomplishment in itself and if he ends up with understanding the real issue, It will also satisfy you knowing you did your best to help someone, especially with something like this.:happy: Ericka

[Joy Carter]

Can I ever relate to this. Having been a police officer I was sent to a domestic violence that turned out to be a mom who wanted her CD son out of her house. He was about thirteen,smoked like a fiend and dressed in his sisters clothes. So much so she and her mothers things were under lock and key. I felt all the emotions of what was being said by the mother and sister, but I wanted to but couldn't say "why not just buy her his own clothes." But no mother wanted her son locked up. I asked her what for and she said he was just a little pervert and didn't we have laws covering that. I contacted our youth services and they advised I bring the kid in for safekeeping because of the mothers hostility. The thing of it is we don't keep children under lock and key unless they are violent or have committed a felony. The child would be going right back as soon as I booked him within twelve hours. So where is the problem solved ? My suggestion would have infuriated the mother and It might have made me the laughing stock of my pears. What made it worse is the next night in role call, the other two officers who were with me made a big deal out of the incident. Making jokes and just being stupid. The sadder part was this took place just before Christmas.

[Megan72]

Can I ever relate to this. Having been a police officer I was sent to a domestic violence that turned out to be a mom who wanted her CD son out of her house. He was about thirteen,smoked like a fiend and dressed in his sisters clothes. So much so she and her mothers things were under lock and key. I felt all the emotions of what was being said by the mother and sister, but I wanted to but couldn't say "why not just buy her his own clothes." But no mother wanted her son locked up. I asked her what for and she said he was just a little pervert and didn't we have laws covering that. I contacted our youth services and they advised I bring the kid in for safekeeping because of the mothers hostility. The thing of it is we don't keep children under lock and key unless they are violent or have committed a felony. The child would be going right back as soon as I booked him within twelve hours. So where is the problem solved ? My suggestion would have infuriated the mother and It might have made me the laughing stock of my pears. What made it worse is the next night in role call, the other two officers who were with me made a big deal out of the incident. Making jokes and just being stupid. The sadder part was this took place just before Christmas.

No doubt I can relate. The test for kids in placment is "are they a danger to themselves or to other people." Nothing about the incident you describe, nor my kid places them in danger , unless they get to wild and get their but whipped by some overbearing jock. I would like nothing more than to go and say, let the kid wear a dress, what harm is there, but I have to maintain a certain distance from this case, the kid is in a group home already and might very well go to a more restrictive setting. I just hope that the professionals i deal with are up to dealing with this kids in all his quarks. I feel really bad for this kid but I have to present certain images to the public and the image of a crossdresser is not that condusive to getting my job done, oh well!

[MJ]

I think you are doing your part Kelliann.
It's tough to be in the middle of the fire with this boy without ending up getting "burned" yourself. The issue hits home for sure. Just bear with it and do your best to help him to understand. That is a reward and an accomplishment in itself and if he ends up with understanding the real issue, It will also satisfy you knowing you did your best to help someone, especially with something like this.:happy: Ericka

Ericka is right. can't you find some information off the web that might help this young person out ?, just do the best you can Kelliann ... hugs

[ubokvt]

I know its hard on you, but some one has to be first, some one has to lay the path for the rest. You may not be able to help the boy but you can sure use the opprotunity to educate the insitution to point out their fears and judgements, how thier preconceptions about CD is affecting sound treatment. I sure the people here can hook you up with atthoritative resources on proper treatment regimins more suited to the boys needs other than "Fix" his mental disorder. Hmmm why is homosexuality out of the DSM IV and gender disphoiah still in?

[Megan72]

Ericka is right. can't you find some information off the web that might help this young person out ?, just do the best you can Kelliann ... hugs

I moved him to a counselor that has some experiance with adolecsent gender issues, obvously she is not from here, If he ends up in a residential setting thent he one he goes to is a very "touchy/feely" place and has some knowledge of gender issues. I am not convinced yet that he is gender dysphoric, but I would not rule it out. In either case I can not allow him to dress as he wants because of the risk he will suffer form other residents, that is really the part that sucks big time.

I want him to be able to express himself but not at the risk of him getting beat to a pulp because of it. Best interest kinda stinks sometimes.

The whole ordeal really hits home and reeks of the system being intolerant, but between being suportive and dealing with his other issues, such as Oppositional defiant and ADHD, I think I can make a case plan work out. Wyoming is not the most ideal place to try but I can make it work.

Thanks to everyone so far in their insite, I will continue to keep every one up to date. This may get very interesting before the end.

[Megan72]

I know its hard on you, but some one has to be first, some one has to lay the path for the rest. You may not be able to help the boy but you can sure use the opprotunity to educate the insitution to point out their fears and judgements, how thier preconceptions about CD is affecting sound treatment. I sure the people here can hook you up with atthoritative resources on proper treatment regimins more suited to the boys needs other than "Fix" his mental disorder. Hmmm why is homosexuality out of the DSM IV and gender disphoiah still in?

The group home he is in is not oppposed to letting him be himself, but they are worried that he will get beat up, as am I . The CDing is really the least of his worries and only presents a concern as to the place I recommend he go. '

I really can not directly influance the CDing until i get him stable in other areas of mental health. they may very well all be conected, and most likley are.

[Joy Carter]

The group home he is in is not opposed to letting him be himself, but they are worried that he will get beat up, as am I . The CDing is really the least of his worries and only presents a concern as to the place I recommend he go. '

I really can not directly influence the Cding until i get him stable in other areas of mental health. they may very well all be connected, and most likely are.

The one thing is that if you or I suggest anything above what we are qualified for could come back on us and our carriers. So yes it would be a start maybe in the right direction for TG people. But you will find your self trying to explaine it in a court of law.

[Megan72]

The one thing is that if you or I suggest anything above what we are qualified for could come back on us and our carriers. So yes it would be a start maybe in the right direction for TG people. But you will find your self trying to explaine it in a court of law.

Can't say that I am anywere near ready to go before my local Juvenile Judge and explain that one.

In Wyoming the caseworker is granted a wide latitude to make the recommendation that we feel is the best. This is good for me and the kid. I can make a recommendation to a place that will have the greatest ability to deal with his CDing in a controlled environemnt, but I must say that I would never place a kid simply because he crossdresses, that would be a bit hipocritical of me. He has other issues that are going to get him placed. the CDing is in no way influancing that desicion. it does however allow me to deal with it outside of the negativity of this community. It will be up to the therapists to work out his emotional issues.