The job

[noname]

I recently changed jobs and work in a small office with around 60 people. Living in a med size city, I'm fairly certain it's only a matter of time until I run into someone I work with. While I never try to pass, my toe nails are always painted and carry a bag. Has this happened to anyone, whats the worst that could happen? I wonder if something like this could spill over into work. Worst of all is the boss is a young guy who like to demand things ( not ask ) of people, loves to manhandle everything when it is not nessary, and generally a very abrasive person.

[Megan72]

Sounds like a great job to me.

[noname]

Not sure if you were being sarcastic, but it is a great job, ( low pay though )and I like the people I work with. With the exception of the one boss. Everyone else is great. But there is not telling how they would react if word got out. I won't stop wearing what I want when I go out. Sorry, it's my life and I won't let some job I work at run my life for me.

[Rachel Morley]

I live in the suburbs of a large city and I like to wear fairly obvious girly clothes in boy mode when I'm not at work. I've often wondered what is the likelihood of bumping into someone I work with when in "girly boy mode" but it's never happened yet.

I have however, on two different occasions, seen people from work when I was out en femme at the mall. Both times they walked right by me and (thankfully) didn't recognize me.

[KateLongman27]

I recently changed jobs and work in a small office with around 60 people. Living in a med size city, I'm fairly certain it's only a matter of time until I run into someone I work with. While I never try to pass, my toe nails are always painted and carry a bag. Has this happened to anyone, whats the worst that could happen? I wonder if something like this could spill over into work. Worst of all is the boss is a young guy who like to demand things ( not ask ) of people, loves to manhandle everything when it is not nessary, and generally a very abrasive person.

At the end of day what you do in your private life doesn't concern the company or anyone work related. The only time you'll get someone on your back is when you don't do your job or stand around chatting to someone for 4 hours plus which isn't very productive and you might as well not be there.

As for your boss he's got a job to do and he might have people on his back and as such has to take a professional approach and not get too involved/personal with members of staff. To ensure targets are met etc. etc.

So if it does spill into work don't make a big deal of it besides today newspapers are tomorrows fish and chip wrapping!

[Joy Carter]

At the end of day what you do in your private life doesn't concern the company or anyone work related. The only time you'll get someone on your back is when you don't do your job or stand around chatting to someone for 4 hours plus which isn't very productive and you might as well not be there.

As for your boss he's got a job to do and he might have people on his back and as such has to take a professional approach and not get too involved/personal with members of staff. To ensure targets are met etc. etc.

So if it does spill into work don't make a big deal of it besides today newspapers are tomorrows fish and chip wrapping!

I agree. BUT there was a gurl who drove for "Win Dixie" foods for some years. He admitted on the job he CDs and the company fired him. Their quote was that they didn't want anyone like that working for them. It got national coverage. So now what can I say. I lost a career over cding also. You gals just gotta be careful in your private lives and not let it enter you work life. One gurl whom I just met works for a large corporation and she says they are putting together and anti discrimination policy on gender. It's a big step but it will take years for it to funnel down to us.


Take Care Joy Carter :hugs:

[RobertaFermina]

Wow, this brings me back to earth, ladies.

A decade back, I was the partner responsible for HR when one of our key employees transitioned MtoF.

Up to that time, I'd never given it much thought, and went through lots of vicarious-emotional-physical turmoil when thinking about my 'fellow-man' becoming a woman.

There was never a question that we would support her, and make arrangements to inform and hold Q&A sessions with all the companies we shared office space with.

Her transition went well, and I learned a ton.

I realize I have a lot more to say about this, yet it is off-topic.

So, to put this in perspective - this is in Northern California - and I think she was lucky to be working with us when she transitioned. Even in Northern California, you can't take open-mindedness for granted.

If you are 'discovered', I hope you get lucky.

And if it happens, and you're not lucky - keep your head up girl, and remember you are not alone !

Roberta

[Calliope]

Living in a med size city, I'm fairly certain it's only a matter of time until I run into someone I work with.


The biggest problem with being in the closet is: there are no guarentees you won't get hauled out - at some else's convience, on somebody else's time schedule. Coming out, whatever the hassle, is the only way to vanquish the fear - and lack of control. Ya know?

[Lori SC]

Since you say you don't try to pass, it's certain that you will eventually be found out. But eventually could be 2 or more years... You might have a new job by then....

After all, how often do you run into people you know from work? Really not too often, unless you are a very public figure.

As far as what happens - It's a crap shoot. Just because you have a demanding boss means nothing. If you are the best performer, he probably won't care didly squat about your personal life as long as you do your job.

Now, he might HATE CDs, gays etc.... And if he wants, he will find a way to oust you from the company. Illegal or not. He can make it impossible for you to perform your job satisfactorily. He just gives you assignments that can't be executed in the time allowed. Then it's simple to dismiss you.

THe only thing you can do, is when word gets out in the office, have a little talk with him about how your personal life won;t interfere with the business. That's about all you can do.

Good Luck. And keep the resume up to date!

Hugs, Lori

[noname]

Perhaps I worry a bit too much, I mean I could be see and lose my job, but how exactly do you explain that to potiental new employers? If I worked for uber large company, I wouldn't worry, but this place is small. The plus being that even though they are small they the HR department acts like a mega corp and everything is by the book, tons of non discrimination stuff. I don't see it should matter what I do off the job. Perhaps I should just not worry about it, because I know I won't stop wearing what I want.

[jjjjohanne]

Once I was in the mall in the way that I most commonly dress (as a man in all women's androgenous clothes, normally with hose) and saw a woman from work. I quickly made my escape up the escalator. She must not have seen me. Many people don't notice that I am wearing anything odd, but I didn't want to find out the hard way. I felt safe because I was an hour from home and 30 minutes from work. Turns out, she must drive 30 minutes from the other direction!!

[JoAnnDallas]

when I lived in West Virginia, I was always running into someone I knew or worked with at the local Wally World. The town I lived in was only 3-5K, so just about everyone knows everyone else. LOL Also it is the type of town that someone knows someone that know you. We sold a hot tub when we boaught the house. In the next six months we meet more people that either knew about the hot tub or knew someone that knew about the hot tub. I hired an electrician and it turns out he was the one that was going to install the hot tub for the lady we sold it to. My wife takes a computer course and one of the ladies at her course lives right behide the lady we sold the hot tub too.
Needless to say, that was NOT the town to be a CDer in. LOL

[serinalynn]

Perhaps I worry a bit too much, I mean I could be see and lose my job, but how exactly do you explain that to potiental new employers? If I worked for uber large company, I wouldn't worry, but this place is small. The plus being that even though they are small they the HR department acts like a mega corp and everything is by the book, tons of non discrimination stuff. I don't see it should matter what I do off the job. Perhaps I should just not worry about it, because I know I won't stop wearing what I want.

I certainly would want to get to know my co-workers very well before letting them see any hint of female clothing. Also, get to know what company directives are in place about how you dress for work, your performance at work and relations with your co-workers. After all you and your co-workers are a team that must gel and carry out the company's business in order for the company to be successful.