Finally I found the courage to tell my wife

[Tia]

:love: I love my wife! After couple years of wanting to tell her, I finally did it last night. And she was OK with it.

I told her a little less than two years ago that I would like to try dressing up in women's lingerie, which ended up in a mess. It really wasn't a good idea to start this conversation without thinking what I really wanted and knew about myself. The subject was buried after the first shock.:sad:

After that I couldn't stop dressing, because it actually helped me to get over the stress I had then. And last night after a discussing about our fears and thoughts about our future and big changes happening in our family, I thought that there won't be better time to come clear about my CDing.

I told her that I messed it up last time and didn't want to scare her, but I hope that she could accept it. After an hour or two discussion and telling what I really felt and what she was afraid, she seemed to be ok knowing about it. She hoped that I still would keep it hidden from her sight, which was more than OK with me.

I think the biggest issue for her was that she felt a bit betrayed because I hadn't told her and sad because I had to be scared about telling her.

Well.. I don't want to bore you girls with this, but I just wanted to thank you all for helping me to understand myself and to be able to do this.:hugs:

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Michelle

I would also tell her she can come here for advice

Just take things slowly I am sure there will be more questions

:hugs:

[Sheila]

Michelle,

Hi and glad you have had a good reaction to telling your wife, I know it can't have been easy.

Hopefully you will be able to talk to each other about it and iff your wife needs somebody to talk to if she joins the forum after she has made an intro and had 10 posts on the forum she can apply to join the GG section.

As Shelly says take things slowly and renenber to tell her how much she is loved

Jess

[RachelDenise]

Go slowly. Remember she is thinking this over and will have questions as time passes. Keep her in your life at the front and make her feel special. She doesn't need competition from your fem side.

[stacee]

i wont to tell my partner for years but i scared she would not anything to do with it but has great about it and injoyes as well i think it may open up a whole new life to us as iv hiden al my life helen say gg.
yes thats right l have just found about my partner and yes it is good already there are great inprovements with out relationship and l couldnt b happier, of course l do hav alot 2 learn and lm so very excited of the prospects, its just such ashame that l didnt learn it awhole earlier things would have a been a lot better helen:hugs:

[Sandra]

You can see a pattern "take it slow" also make sure she knows that she is not the only GG whos SO dresses.

[stephi]

Michelle,

I did the same about 10 years ago and can honestly say it was the most difficult thing I ever did. I felt that I was being dishonest by not telling her and had made my mind up - took a deep breath and eventually let her know all (I was terrified).

I actually struggled to make the words come out as coping with cross dressing and admitting to myself was and still is difficult although it has eased greatly in the last year as I have accepted it as part and parcel of me.

.......but after a shell shock of a fews days my better half got over it and is now the most supportive friend I could wish for. She helps buy clothes, style my hair, make up, etc. I am not alone on this regard as you will read from other posts - best of luck....does sound promising.


Stephi

[linnea]

Congratulations on telling your wife about your CDing! I have been wanting to tell my spouse for a long time, and every time I read about someone doing it with successful results, I am encouraged. I know that there are difficulties in doing it and that one needs to go slowly, but I don't like the deception.
Good for you!

[marie354]

It was a difficult and scarry thing for mee as well. I had only known my GF less than a week when I told her, but I was lucky. She accepted me. At first, after I dressed in front of her the first time, she wanted me to keep it hidden. But as time went on, she allowed me to move out of the closet somewhat, and now I can do it 24/7 if I want/need to.
It takes time. Don't push her. She has a lot on her plate too.
Glad you came out so well in this.
:hugs:
Sandy

[Tia]

Thank you all for the encouraging comments. They are really appreciated.

Yup, I knew taking things slowly already, when I told her the first time... But didn't take the time to sort my own head. I guess this is one of the biggest mistakes you can do :o . Luckily that conversation was forgotten quite fast.

I'd love to tell her about the forum and how supportive everybody are here, but I agreed with her, that she will have time on her own to think and I'll answer to all her questions she'll come up with. But if/when she is ready for it, I'll tell her. Now I'm just happy that she seems to quietly accept my CDing.

luv you all,
Michelle (the shy one)

[Wenda]

When you read the posts on this forum, you will see many from the lucky ones, like me, who just couldn't keep it secret from their SOs . In my case, my GF was very nervous about it when I first informed her of my rediscovery of dressing, envisioning surgery, homosexuality, all the stereotypes. Once we went on an out-of-town trip, however, she came to regard Wenda as a confidant, a buddy (a shopping partner with access to W's Visa card). When Wenda went into hibernation a couple of months ago, she was quite sorry to see her disappear. A relationship with a serious secret is doomed, so you might as well be forthright at the outset, and deal with the consequences from there. all the best. w.

[Raychel]

After 15 years of mariage I told my wife. She had pretty much the same reaction that your wife did. Her first concern was if I was gay or not. Then she felt the betrayal of my hiding this from her all this time. Over the last year or so she is starting to come around to accept more and more of who I really am. I don't know that she will ever meet Raychel in person. But we can talk and laugh about it from time to time.

This has been a long process of acceptance for her. But we have grown closer together over it also. The big key is being able to talk about it. And letting things move at her pace.

I only hope that things work out as well for you.

[Marcie Sexton]

Good for you...a giant step in the right direction...I have been there, it wasn't fun, but in the end it helped so much that we both knew where we each stood...your door is opened now take those steps out...:hugs:

[Susiegirl]

My wife has known for about 10 years. Similar reaction at first that your wife had about just do it I don't want to be a part of it. Through alot of years and alot of conversations she is very supportive in my crossdressing. The big turning point that helped her in understanding was getting involved in Tri-ess.

[Bobbie Jo]

You did good to tell her how you are and how you feel.I told my wife a few months after we met.She was really ok with and wanted to dress me up and teach me how to put on my makeup.She also wanted to buy me panty hose,shapers,slips and what ever else i wanted.I loved it when she would come home from shopping and have something new for me to try on .
Just take it slow,it sound like you need to.She might just come around and surprise you one of these days.Some wifes don't understand at all.So go real slow....:happy:
Bobbie Jo
The new girl in town

[Robin Leigh]

Congratulations on doing the right thing, Michelle. :thumbsup: My best wishes to you & your wife.

:hugs:

Robin

[TxKimberly]

:love: I love my wife! After couple years of wanting to tell her, I finally did it last night. And she was OK with it.

I told her a little less than two years ago that I would like to try dressing up in women's lingerie, which ended up in a mess. It really wasn't a good idea to start this conversation without thinking what I really wanted and knew about myself. The subject was buried after the first shock.:sad:

After that I couldn't stop dressing, because it actually helped me to get over the stress I had then. And last night after a discussing about our fears and thoughts about our future and big changes happening in our family, I thought that there won't be better time to come clear about my CDing.

I told her that I messed it up last time and didn't want to scare her, but I hope that she could accept it. After an hour or two discussion and telling what I really felt and what she was afraid, she seemed to be ok knowing about it. She hoped that I still would keep it hidden from her sight, which was more than OK with me.

I think the biggest issue for her was that she felt a bit betrayed because I hadn't told her and sad because I had to be scared about telling her.

Well.. I don't want to bore you girls with this, but I just wanted to thank you all for helping me to understand myself and to be able to do this.:hugs:
Bore us? THIS is the type of post I think this web site is most valuable for.
Congrats - this is a good start! A VERY few of us have an SO that may be delighted and think it will be fun, but for most of us that is a fantasy and not gonna happen. The response she gave you is a very positive sign.
If I may offer a little advice here? Now that the cat is out of the bag, try not to overwhelm her like I did with MY wife! After I came clean with her (about two weeks into our 20 year marriage) that was all I wanted to talk about! All the things I liked, what I wanted, how I felt, etc. You know, all the things that I had kept hidden from everyone my whole life, and now had someone to share it with.
So share your thoughts and feelings yes, but try not to do it all at once and non-stop! lol
Hugs!
Kim

[Suzie Green]

Congratulations on getting past the hardest step. It's taken me over 30 years to tell my wife. Go slowly...sometimes once the ice is broken, it's all you can do to keep from expanding the open water quickly. Moderation, compassion and tolerance all develop at a slow pace. Take your time and don't rush things. And talk about it. Holding things inside (for both of you) is not the solution.

Welcome to the group, and I hope she can find something here too!

:hugs: Christine

[VTDresser]

Has anyone ever experienced the euphoria of having your SO know?

Mine found out about me 4 years ago but it has been recently that I have been able to dress up freely at home. I feel so liberated that I have almost gone over the edge.

I agree to go slow and hold back the constant urges to dress up for time at home. I will say that, like many of you that have support, I thought my life was over when she found out and I would be out on the street.

But, I am still here, she is still here, and we now shop for clothes together. She is upset though that I look better than she does in a nice pair of slacks but it has motivated her to tone up.

[Rebecca_Annette]

I would also suggest you go slowly.

Sometimes what you are told is not always the truth.

For some, love can conquer all fears and prejudices yet others ~ even with the best will, even with the brightest hope ~ try, yet fall at the last fence, it's understanderbale, we are the last oppressed and ridiculed minority.

Good luck, and best wishes


Peace
Rebecca

[Deanna2]

A really fantastic outcome for you Michelle and an object lesson for others. There is never an easy way to go about revealing yourself, but you do get to learn a lot about patience.

[SherriePall]

Michelle -- What you have done is either the most fool-hardy or most courageous thing a man can do depending on his SO's response. By your wife's response, it was a courageous thing you did. Congratulations and remember to take it easy and don't push her.