Am I being selfish?

[ponytail_gurl]

Regarding a female co-worker that I have an attraction too for many years...

When I first met this woman I was immeadiately attracted to her green eyes and metallic violet eyeliner that she wore. I found this combination to be an incredible look! Over the years I would stop at the local fleamarket to pick up a bunch (5 or 6) violet eyeliner pencils for her as part of her xmas or birthday present. I ended up falling in love with this eyeliner for myself and have 2 pencils in my makeup bag. This past summer I noticed that she has not worn this eyeliner color. Turns out that she can't find this brand/color anymore. I just searched the same fleamarket to no avail! According to the saleswoman, the manufacturer stopped supplying that color.

Getting back to my question here, do you think it is wrong that I am holding 2 of these rare violet eyeliner pencils for myself, knowing how good she looks with that color? I love the color on myself too, so it would be hard to get rid of!

To try to get over my guilty concious, I have been searching other brands of violet eyeliner. So far they are not exactly what she wants. It needs to glide on smoothly and so far the ones I have found do not go on as smooth. I am in search of Jordana brand - violet eyeliner. Tried luv my eyes and wet n' wild and they are not even close to the jordanna as far as easy to apply. All the name brands that I have tried are hard to apply. I heard of heating the pencil tip to make it glide on, but the Jordana went on creamy smooth unlike the other garbage out there. Years ago I bought her some liquid eyeliner from sephora, but she was not too fond of that and kept using the Jordanna.

Here is a link to a closeup pic showing the eyeliner color mentioned above on myself (nice color, huh?)
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e134/ponytail_girl/eye_makeup_03.jpg

[Karren H]

Put a bow on one and leave it on her desk.."from a secret admirer".... Then you'll still have one for you and you can enjoy the other one also by watching it on her!!! A win-win situation!!

Karren

[Stormgirl]

Selfish? Abosolutely not :devil:

[Glenda58]

Put a bow on one and leave it on her desk.."from a secret admirer".... Then you'll still have one for you and you can enjoy the other one also by watching it on her!!! A win-win situation!!

Karren

:iagree:

[Kimkandy]

Getting back to my question here, do you think it is wrong that I am holding 2 of these rare violet eyeliner pencils for myself, knowing how good she looks with that color?

Well, I think you shoud give her :devil: one...

Kim

:dom: :lovestruck: :luvu: :love:

[Calliope]

It's pretty hard to answer your question - you didn't supply her history of gifts to you.

[finacarina]

Yes very wrong! How could you do this to her and still live with yourself?

[ponytail_gurl]

It's pretty hard to answer your question - you didn't supply her history of gifts to you.

Years ago I splurged on her and would spend two to three hundred dollars on her xmas presents and upwards of $150 for birthdays. Then when I learned you can't buy someones love I cut back on the expensive gifts. Also doesn't help that she just got married this summer after a long divorce battle. I had hoped to finally get her as my girl after she dumped her boyfriend last year, but she soon hooked up with an old friend and got married recently.

Answering your question, she has bought me a watch, ring, necklace, clothing, etc... nowhere as much as what I spent on her, but I know she does not have the money to spend.

Both eyeliners are used, they are not as long as a new one would be. I would need to say it was a store display or something, hence a used one. I just can't give one of them away, I love the color too much! I used to have a favorite shade of royal blue that looked good on me until I went with the violet. Now it is violet all the time when I dress up!

Look at the color of this eyeliner on my eye, tell me it is not a color to die for!:devil:
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e134/ponytail_girl/eye_makeup_03.jpg

[Michelia]

Save it for another girl that might marry you one day. Let her husband buy her presents.

Michelia

[Cheryl GG]

have you looked on ebay??? they have everything to include discontinued things....just a suggestion....C/

[Calliope]

Michelle, yes, those make a great color combo. Totally fab.

I suspect your passion for them exceeds hers; keep 'em.

[Kimkandy]

Look at the color of this eyeliner on my eye, tell me it is not a color to die for!

No, I think I like black better.

Kim

:dom: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

[Chiana]

No, you are not being selfish...

The eyeliner looks great. But since both of the ones you have are used, I wouldn't give her either of them. Have you tried contacting the company that makes it? If you do have success in finding it again, give her the address, phone number or internet link. Let her get her own.

[Tamara Croft]

http://www.bestbeautyonline.com/eyes.asp

They have Jordana eyeliners, but the violet one is only available in the 7" eyeliner size (http://www.bestbeautyonline.com/eyepencil7.asp).

[klyde]

if it will make you feel less guilty.

[Tina Dixon]

Oh give here the colors, just think of the joy you will have to look her in the eyes:thumbsup:

[Robin Leigh]

Save it for another girl that might marry you one day. Let her husband buy her presents.

Michelia

I agree with Michelia. Get over this woman. She's not interested in you that way. Maybe it's got something to do with your CDing... Sorry, ponytail_gurl, I don't mean to be unkind, but sometimes it's necessary to be blunt.

I used to wear a lot of purple eyeshadow, back in the mid-late 80s, sometimes with blue mascara, but I never had a purple eyeliner, always black or a deep brown. Actually, that eyeliner would go nicely with the purple skirt I'm currently wearing... :)

:hugs:

Robin

[Rachel Morley]

This seems like a simple one to me. If she's anything near a friend of yours you should give her one of the two you have (I would if she were my friend). If she's not a friend to you, you are in no way obligated, it's just whether you want to be a good Samaritan or not. :happy:

Oh and btw....I think the color looks great!

[Diana West]

If both are used, it would be in poor taste to give one as a gift.
There's also the possibility of (for lack of a better word) contamination. Sharing makeup is not the most hygienic activity.

[Jodi]

Regarding a female co-worker that I have an attraction too for many years...

When I first met this woman I was immeadiately attracted to her green eyes and metallic violet eyeliner that she wore. I found this combination to be an incredible look! Over the years I would stop at the local fleamarket to pick up a bunch (5 or 6) violet eyeliner pencils for her as part of her xmas or birthday present. I ended up falling in love with this eyeliner for myself and have 2 pencils in my makeup bag. This past summer I noticed that she has not worn this eyeliner color. Turns out that she can't find this brand/color anymore. I just searched the same fleamarket to no avail! According to the saleswoman, the manufacturer stopped supplying that color.

Getting back to my question here, do you think it is wrong that I am holding 2 of these rare violet eyeliner pencils for myself, knowing how good she looks with that color? I love the color on myself too, so it would be hard to get rid of!

To try to get over my guilty concious, I have been searching other brands of violet eyeliner. So far they are not exactly what she wants. It needs to glide on smoothly and so far the ones I have found do not go on as smooth. I am in search of Jordana brand - violet eyeliner. Tried luv my eyes and wet n' wild and they are not even close to the jordanna as far as easy to apply. All the name brands that I have tried are hard to apply. I heard of heating the pencil tip to make it glide on, but the Jordana went on creamy smooth unlike the other garbage out there. Years ago I bought her some liquid eyeliner from sephora, but she was not too fond of that and kept using the Jordanna.

Here is a link to a closeup pic showing the eyeliner color mentioned above on myself (nice color, huh?)
http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e134/ponytail_girl/eye_makeup_03.jpg

Buying any makeup at a fleamarket is just asking for trouble. It ends up at the fleamarket for only one reason--IT IS OUTDATED AND STALE. What you find at a fleamarket is what has been pulled off the shelves at the stores. These outdated products can carry bad bacteria and can cause all kinds of skin problems, most especially eye makeup and lipstick. Now to think you were providing this for a woman you liked.

Makeup is one thing that has a shelf life. Even items that you bought new should be discarded after a period of time. Eye makeup is usually to be discarded after 6 months.

Jodi

[MJ]

]Put a bow on one and leave it on her desk.."from a secret admirer".... Then you'll still have one for you and you can enjoy the other one also by watching it on her!!! A win-win situation!!

Karren[/QUOTE]

karren is right. you can't lose
btw i love the color looks great, how did you get the liner that close ?

[ponytail_gurl]

Buying any makeup at a fleamarket is just asking for trouble. It ends up at the fleamarket for only one reason--IT IS OUTDATED AND STALE. What you find at a fleamarket is what has been pulled off the shelves at the stores. These outdated products can carry bad bacteria and can cause all kinds of skin problems, most especially eye makeup and lipstick. Now to think you were providing this for a woman you liked.

Makeup is one thing that has a shelf life. Even items that you bought new should be discarded after a period of time. Eye makeup is usually to be discarded after 6 months.

Jodi

I agree with you on that, I was able to find the old discontinued Realities perfume at the fleamarket. I fell in love with that too and now wear it myself. She used to wear that perfume and switched from brand to brand. I use this daily and add a spurt of axe deodarant spray on my chest to change the scent ever so slightly so she would not notice the same perfume smell. Realities doesn't have that floral type smell, so I think it is close match for me to wear without any one noticing.

Getting back to the eyeliner, I would buy out what they had in stock and the woman would order more, so I think it was new stock. I agree that other makup can be old, but I really do think the jordana stuff was fresh? I could be wrong though!

Today I just asked out a woman I recently met and set a date for new years this sunday. So now I have to find a last minute club party or dinner/dancing. The woman at work is trouble, but it is hard when you fall in love with someone from a distance and they could care less about you. I have an on and off relationship with her as a co-worker (friends one day and then I get pissed off at something she does to me and then I hate her until she smiles back at me). Yesterday I was able to find a softer eyeliner that was a lighter color, more like lavander. I tested it on the back of my hand like she does and it definately glided on easier than the other stuff I found. Today she tried it and it looked darker than I expected it too look. Turns out she applied it along with the black she was wearing. So for now it looked close to dark violet. I know it looked darker, because last night I applied the one I bought for me and it was too light for my taste. The green one looked better, but there is nothing like that violet on my eyes! One of these days I will post a link with pics of various colors, like black and you can judge the best color. Violet is it for me!:D

[ponytail_gurl]

I agree with Michelia. Get over this woman. She's not interested in you that way. Maybe it's got something to do with your CDing... Sorry, ponytail_gurl, I don't mean to be unkind, but sometimes it's necessary to be blunt.

I never told her that I like to do this kind of stuff! Sure, they tease me at work for having nice shapely girlie legs, but then I have them look closely to see that there is sparatic hairs on my legs and they are not shaved. I really don't need to shave since the hair is so fine and you do not notice it from a distance. My hair is long, I have 4 earrings as of last year and a toe ring. Some tease me that I should have been born a girl, but I play it off and tease them back. It is a fantasy of mine to tell her about what I like to do and have her and her niece play dress up with me on the weekend. I have told her that I wished she would do more with her hair instead of the way she wears it at work. Off hours she looks so sexy and so much different than at work. At work it is combed back like a pompador and sprayed in place. I have mentioned that I would love to curl her hair. I often pull a strand of hair infront of her ear to form a tendril. To this day she has no clue why I love that look on her, but she smiles as I position her hair. I do this during lunch hour store rides and even at work when we are supposed to be working. That is why I find it hard to not fall in love with her, I am constantly around her and getting personnal with her to a certain point. Sorry if I went off the deep end here, just had to express my feelings to all.

[Robin Leigh]

I never told her that I like to do this kind of stuff!
That's what I thought. But she knows that you are more interested in femme stuff than "normal" guys; I mean, macho guys rarely buy makeup for their SOs, what to speak of buying it as a spontaneous gift for a friend. That's a very girly thing to do. :)

She knows you have a femme side, but she doesn't know the details. So she's probably decided you're gay... Treat this as a missed opportunity & move on. FWIW, many women that I've been attracted to have thought I was gay & therefore not interested in them sexually, or bi & not worth the complications. They never even considered that I was CD/TG.


That is why I find it hard to not fall in love with her, I am constantly around her and getting personnal with her to a certain point. Sorry if I went off the deep end here, just had to express my feelings to all.

Stop torturing yourself! She's just gotten married for goodness sake!

You may be able to come out to her some time down the track, but if you do it while you feel like this, I don't think it would be very good. Maybe find a GG friend that you can share your CDing with, that you're not romantically interested in. It's a lot less complicated that way. :)

:hugs:

Robin

[marie354]

http://www.bestbeautyonline.com/eyes.asp

They have Jordana eyeliners, but the violet one is only available in the 7" eyeliner size (http://www.bestbeautyonline.com/eyepencil7.asp).

I looked at this site too and it does have the soft liner mechanical pencils too. Personally I love those. The prices are very reasonable as well.
Thanks Tamara!
:hugs: