War or Peace

[Diana West]

A couple of threads have touched on this and so I was wondering:
Are your feminine and masculine at war with each other?
or do they balance each other out?

In some threads I've read, the feminine side dominates, but does that mean the masculine side is non-existent.
I realize that masculine and feminine are societal concepts/labels. And I don't want to get in a discussion about that.

My question is:
Is there harmony within yourself with these two concepts?
Does one need to dominate the other?

As for me, I feel they are harmonious. There is no conflict between my femininity and my masculinity. I enjoy both.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Janis, since I'm an "in betweener", both of my sides complement each other and work together. In fact, I cannot function properly without both.:happy: Ericka

[CaptLex]

My question is:
Is there harmony within yourself with these two concepts?
Does one need to dominate the other?

As for me, I feel they are harmonious. There is no conflict between my femininity and my masculinity. I enjoy both.
Same here, Janis . . . both sides have always worked well together, and seem to depend on each other. This worries me because, as my male side grows, my female side seems to diminish and I worry that it will go away completely and I'll feel like something is missing. Don't really think it will be that way, but I worry about it.

Did you ever see the movie, "Myra Breckenridge"? It's a really cheesy old movie, but I can relate to one part of it. Rex Reed's character (Myron) has surgery to become Raquel Welch (Myra) and even after he transitions to her, you get to see both actors interact with each other, even though we know they share the same body. I can totally relate to that (but don't tell the guys in the white coats :eek:).

[Casey Morgan]

There's no conflict here either normally. The only times I feel conflict is when I'm fighting myself, forcing me to be one way or another. Otherwise I just try to let me feel how I feel. I may not show how I feel but that's a different issue.

[Juanita O]

well sometimes it is a struggle, but I manage to keep both sided in check( I have to,job requirements)

[marie354]

I guess I'm sort of balanced.
Sam needs Sandy as much as Sandy needs Sam.
Sam can do things that is not lady like... Go out with the guys & bull-crap, etc.
Sandy is sweet and shy, never doing some of the things that Sam would.
Teeter-Totter.. Teeter-Totter.. You know?
:hugs:

[hotbobbie]

Both sides love each other but i live almost 100% on the femm side.

[Scotty]

Mine used to be at war, now they are one.

[Marla S]

I don't think my one side conflicts.
If you have to call it war, than the only war I had to fight with myself was the war of my predominately male sexuality vs. the desire to present more feminine. The resulting self-centered erotic bugged me considerable.
Since this "war" vanished into thin air by demystification, the remaining conflicts are solely induced by the "outer world".

[Sweet Jane]

I'm still constantly at war....confining my femme side to an almost non existant state just seems to make me want it even more.

[Sierra Evon]

Just up unto about the last 5 years or soo, I was knee deep in the struggle, of MTF, issues , but ever since I've embraced my transsexuality more completly , it has givin me the peace of mind in my life that I believe I need to resolve that inner battle.

[linnea]

I'm much more at peace with both than I used to be. One very helpful step toward that peacefulness has had to do with the interactions and support I have enjoyed through this site.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Earlier in life both my fem and male sides were at complete war with each other. Now both sides are starting to appreciate each other and learn co-existence. Jocelyn

[Kelsy]

My two sides are getting along just fine thank you. a blissful coexistence!!!!
Outside influences cause the difficulties>.<:(

[Penny]

Hi Janis, At one time I was a ladies man and of course, a man's man'.
Now I am a woman's man and this man's lady.
"Man oh man, is that confusing.
Ok, so I'm an old man who likes to get pretty and it doesn't bother either of me :heehee: .

:hugs:

Penny

[Christina Nicole]

A couple of threads have touched on this and so I was wondering:
Are your feminine and masculine at war with each other?
or do they balance each other out?

In some threads I've read, the feminine side dominates, but does that mean the masculine side is non-existent.
I realize that masculine and feminine are societal concepts/labels. And I don't want to get in a discussion about that.

My question is:
Is there harmony within yourself with these two concepts?
Does one need to dominate the other?

As for me, I feel they are harmonious. There is no conflict between my femininity and my masculinity. I enjoy both.

The question does not really make sense. Everyone has a masculine and feminine side. The proportions differ, but everyone has those traits. The traits are not a societal concept or simply a label. They are true and actual traits that either tend to be typical of males or tend to be typical of females.

Way back in the silly 70s, it was quite fashionable to say that gender constructs were totally false. That they were part of the world created by men to either keep power for men or to keep power from women. It was often stated that if children were raised from a very young age without any clues to their gender, that they would be perfectly happy, perfectly well adjusted, and perfectly balanced without a preponderance of either masculine traits for boys or feminine traits for girls.

Nice theory. Too bad the real world intruded. Every study undertaken since then has shown that there's a difference between male and female and that certain traits tend to one gender or the other when people are viewed as a whole. However these traits, when viewed in individuals are often shaded. So you have some men who like mechanics, hate sports, and love cooking, while you have some women who love sports, hate decorating, and so forth.

Since everyone has traits that are considered masculine and feminine, everyone balances these traits. To say that they are at war with each other is false. It simply is natural. It is the way all people are created.

It is probably fair, on the other hand, to say that the war is finding the time and opportunity for a transgendered person to be feminine enough (or masculine enough) when one normally lives his life as a male (or her life as a female.)

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Jodi]

Early in my life, I might have said that each side was in conflict, but now we just co-exist side by side.

Jodi

[melissaK]

Hmmm. You only have two sides at war?

[Sharon]

I'd like to think the war is over -- the male, or what there was of him, has been vanquished.

[trannie T]

My masculine side enjoys wearing dresses. My femanine side is submissive to my masculine side.

[Joy Carter]

Truce/Peace since joining here. So maybe I should have a parade next April so I don't forget.:D

[StacyCD]

Certainly while growing up in attempting to hide my feminine side I exagerated my masculine (read as macho) side as a defense mechanism to hide my femine side. Now that I've become a lot more comfortable with who I am (enough to join this list instead of lurking), I'm much more comfortable with both sides. I don't think it was ever a war but I'm certainly much more happy now that peace has been declared (or was that victory)!

[Lisa Golightly]

There is no 'masculine' masculine... There never was.

[Diana West]

The question does not really make sense. Everyone has a masculine and feminine side. The proportions differ, but everyone has those traits. The traits are not a societal concept or simply a label. They are true and actual traits that either tend to be typical of males or tend to be typical of females.

Way back in the silly 70s, it was quite fashionable to say that gender constructs were totally false. That they were part of the world created by men to either keep power for men or to keep power from women. It was often stated that if children were raised from a very young age without any clues to their gender, that they would be perfectly happy, perfectly well adjusted, and perfectly balanced without a preponderance of either masculine traits for boys or feminine traits for girls.

Nice theory. Too bad the real world intruded. Every study undertaken since then has shown that there's a difference between male and female and that certain traits tend to one gender or the other when people are viewed as a whole. However these traits, when viewed in individuals are often shaded. So you have some men who like mechanics, hate sports, and love cooking, while you have some women who love sports, hate decorating, and so forth.

Since everyone has traits that are considered masculine and feminine, everyone balances these traits. To say that they are at war with each other is false. It simply is natural. It is the way all people are created.

It is probably fair, on the other hand, to say that the war is finding the time and opportunity for a transgendered person to be feminine enough (or masculine enough) when one normally lives his life as a male (or her life as a female.)

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

It's not as silly as you may think.
I personally know men who do everything in their power to crush anything that might even be perceived feminine in themselves.
Granted, they have issues all by themselves.

And the question within ourselves that I mentioned was more about seeing if there is a struggle at all.

[sue ellan]

A couple of threads have touched on this and so I was wondering:
Are your feminine and masculine at war with each other?
or do they balance each other out?

In some threads I've read, the feminine side dominates, but does that mean the masculine side is non-existent.
I realize that masculine and feminine are societal concepts/labels. And I don't want to get in a discussion about that.

My question is:
Is there harmony within yourself with these two concepts?
Does one need to dominate the other?

As for me, I feel they are harmonious. There is no conflict between my femininity and my masculinity. I enjoy both.:iagree:
sue ellan

life is like a roll of tp. the closer to the end the faster it goes.

[tommmey]

:o Still being halfway in he closet, battling to keep peace between the warring factions, a repressive upbringing and fear of disappointing others only has intensified the dilemma.

[Christina Nicole]

It's not as silly as you may think.
I personally know men who do everything in their power to crush anything that might even be perceived feminine in themselves.
Granted, they have issues all by themselves.

And the question within ourselves that I mentioned was more about seeing if there is a struggle at all.

I see your point. But the traits don't do battle, nor are they in unto themselves a root cause of any anguish. I suppose that some men are just too insecure to deal with reality and attempt to remake themselves according to some nonsense they think is correct, or see in movies as correct, etc. Still silly in my opinion. But you are right that those guys have other issues as well.

If there is a struggle within oneself, I'll guess it's mostly from fear. Fear of the unknown. "Who am I?" "What shall I become?" "Why am I not a 'normal' guy?" "Why do I do this and why can't I stop?" Y'all know the questions. I'll not restate that which with you are too familiar. Therefore, I think it's more fear. Wanting to make it "go away" for fear of what the outcome might be if one were discovered, or really a woman, etc.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[JulieC]

A couple of threads have touched on this and so I was wondering:
Are your feminine and masculine at war with each other?
or do they balance each other out?

Never thought of it as a war, or a conflict. The most conflict I perceive is my frustration at knowing the society I live in largely rejects and ridicules that which I am.

For what it's worth; I'm a happily assigned male. I have no desire to be a woman. I enjoy wearing femme attire, and would rather integrate the attire into a look for me, as me, without trying to 'pass' as anything but me. But, I think society has a better shot of accepting a person who at least tries to pass than a person who gender-f*s.

It took me a long time to come to terms with all of me. I accepted many things about myself over the years, good, bad, and indifferent. I always knew there was a side of me that was drawn to femme clothes but it took a very long time to come to terms with that. Again, if society were more supportive I would have been far more likely to accept this aspect of me than to take so long to come to terms with it. So again the conflict is more with society I think that it is with me.

I sit here typing, fully dresses from the neck down en femme. I'm happy to be so. No conflict. It feels good, and I enjoy looking down and seeing myself dressed thus.

-BB

[Marcie Sexton]

At this moment I am at peace with me...but thats not to say the mortal part of me wants more...

A lot of "IFs"

If I had the nerve to comeout 30 years a go, I might be Marcie in "body & soul"

If my lively hood and my family didn't exhist I would go fem 36/8:rolleyes:

...and If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his butt every time he moved...:heehee:

at this time we are at peace with each other...:2c:

[Paula G]

Both my sides are in the process of balancing each other out. There are some adjustments that are still being made, but both sides are getting along pretty well as this point.

[telawilson]

Nah, mine are totally at peace with each other. My wife and I were at Dillard's today, scooping up some bargains. She was in the dressing room (luckeee!) and I was waiting outside, when a woman asked me why I wasn't at home watching football. I said "I'm weird, I'd much rather be shopping with my wife than watching football."

Being with her shopping for shoes was such exquisite torture.

[Casey Morgan]

Same here, Janis . . . both sides have always worked well together, and seem to depend on each other. This worries me because, as my male side grows, my female side seems to diminish and I worry that it will go away completely and I'll feel like something is missing. Don't really think it will be that way, but I worry about it.

I can't claim to know what it's like to transition, but I do know that which is good and true can never really go away. It can be hidden, it can be ignored, it can be devalued. But it will always be there. It may be that you are puting aside those things which are/were devices created to help you "pass" as a woman. But those things that truly make you who you are, they won't go away. That's where the balance comes from, I think. You won't lose that balance.

[suzy]

I fought this war for years and the masculine side won....but then a few years ago my fem side rose up like a tiger and kicked my masculine butt...now the fight is over and I have a balance....50% fem and 50% masculine.....give or take depending on my mood!:eek: