Why I CD and when I don't need to

[Natasha_82]

I read the post on here of if CDing is a hobby or a lifestyle. I couldnot answer that because for me it's niether. I just have this sexual gratification of mine filled when I CD, I read a post by another member that this is the same reason for her CDing too. My gf and I go for days without seeing each other and I find this time is when I have the need to become Natasha but when I have a lot of sexual contact whether it be loving making, kissing or intimate touching I just have no dsire to CD. For example my gf and I spent a whole week together and made love every night durring that week. Durring that whole week I had no desire to CD but I spent 2 days away from her and I just couldn't keep away from my collection of skirts, blouses and heels. Is anybody else in this situaton where they just don't feel the desire to CD?

[tall_brianna]

Use to be... at the start of a relationship - no desire, later in the relationship - more and more. That happens, like with most relationships, to unfortunately correlate with decreased sex. ;)

[Jennaie]

It's hard work for me to dress and look good. I don't think being with a woman or not has much to do with it. My desire to dress comes and goes like the wind.

I do feel that my desire not to dress very often stems from not being happy with what I see in the mirror afterwards. I spend hours getting dressed and when I am through, something is missing. I think that I can honestly say this; I get all dressed up only to feel saddened that I am not a GG.

I don't know why I feel this way these days. I do know that if I could snap my fingers and be a gg anytime I wanted, I would be dressing more than not.

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds like it is a conscious choice for you Hon, which is good. It's nice to be in in control of the CDing and not vice versa. I've come to the point that when I become Ericka, it's purely and totally my choice. I do it because I want to , not because I have to. I can live either way really. It's just that I choose to be Ericka to have fun and enjoy myself. Presently, I'm being Ericka full time but that is an experiment to find out if I really want to do that if I so choose.:happy:

[kerrianna]

Is anybody else in this situaton where they just don't feel the desire to CD?

Quite often. I don't like to do any one thing too much or for too long. And if there's external things wanting my attention I just don't give CDing much thought, although I'm usually wearing...ahem...'something' underneath anyway as a matter of course. But I don't even think about it somedays.

The way my life is right now I usually have to make a conscious decision to crossdress. If I go a long time without, then yeah it sort of hits me like an urge...but it's still something I, or we (my SO and I), have to plan.

And my SO likes me taking breaks so there's that factor too.

[Calliope]

I'm going to guess you are fairly young. What you say sounds familiar ... long ago.

That said, there's no set formula, no predestined path.

Enjoy being you - whoever you want to be.

[Lanore]

A lot of things came and went. In fifty years, I've been through most all the ups and downs but never questioned who I was. This has been my lifestyle for quiet some time now and I'm very content with that. I accepted myself long ago and although I'm still a biological male, he had to take the backseat. He's there when I need him and that's a comfort in this crazy world. When I have to do the drab thing, my mind is still Lanore CDing as a male. I love where I am in life and who I have become.

Lanore

[Kelsy]

It's hard work for me to dress and look good. I don't think being with a woman or not has much to do with it. My desire to dress comes and goes like the wind.

I do feel that my desire not to dress very often stems from not being happy with what I see in the mirror afterwards. I spend hours getting dressed and when I am through, something is missing. I think that I can honestly say this; I get all dressed up only to feel saddened that I am not a GG.

I don't know why I feel this way these days. I do know that if I could snap my fingers and be a gg anytime I wanted, I would be dressing more than not.

Jennaie,

I can sypathize with you completely Unfortunately genetics delt me a difficult hand, physically I am male large hands, broad shoulders, pronounced adam's apple, large head, big arms! I give it my best shoot but am never really satisfied. sometimes I get so frustrated and angy that I wasn't born female or atleast male with a petite body. I have to work with what I've got, if only because I love being the girl that I am!!!

Jennifer:happy:

[Kate Simmons]

That's all any of us can do Jennifer. We are who we are after all. A big part of it depends on our attitude and outlook. I try to be positive and, like you, work with what I have and am content with that. Some folks are never happy no matter what they do and will always find fault with something. Lukily, I'm pretty forgiving of myself and others. Life seems to go a little smoother that way.:happy: Ericka

[danam]

I view it as a sexual gratification sort of thing. I try to keep my philosophy of CD simple, for sanity sake.

I too have noticed an increased desire to CD when the sex life slows otherwise. I view CDing as a form of worship of the female body. I would love to have a female body--but, instead, I have to live vicariously through my SO. Makes me a better lover, I suppose. To see how much better my SO looks in some of "our" outfits is actually exciting. She doesn't have to wear any shapewear or anything! I look at her more, as a result.

[Suzie Green]

It just shows that there are a myriad of reasons why people do this. I am nearly the opposite. I see my wife every day, though I don't dress every day. When I do put on women's clothing, it increases my desire for intimate contact with her at that moment. Does this mean I have lesbian fantasies? I don't know, and actually don't much care. I enjoy dressing for the look and feel of the clothing, and for the arousal level that goes with it. Is that more commonplace among younger people? Hmmm, I'm 58 so not sure how I fit into that picture.

Whatever the reason, and we all have our own, I think it's less important than the fact that everyone seems tolerant and understanding of one another, and that alone is what makes a group like this work so well.

Christine :2c:

[Shaz]

i'm exactly like that too, i live with my g.f but never dress around her she knows all about it and doesn't care if i was too, but i don't but the second she's gone i'm in her room playing around with everything she has

[TxKimberly]

It's hard work for me to dress and look good. I don't think being with a woman or not has much to do with it. My desire to dress comes and goes like the wind.

I do feel that my desire not to dress very often stems from not being happy with what I see in the mirror afterwards. I spend hours getting dressed and when I am through, something is missing. I think that I can honestly say this; I get all dressed up only to feel saddened that I am not a GG.

I don't know why I feel this way these days. I do know that if I could snap my fingers and be a gg anytime I wanted, I would be dressing more than not.
Wow - this is EXACTLY my feelings as well!
Kim

[melissaK]

My :2c: would be an echo of DayT's.

But I do also note that intimate contact with my wife, sex or a snuggle or just touching, soothes my most anxious moments no matter their origin. After years of counselling I think I have several well springs of emotional insecurities including 'abandonment' type ones. Her presence is a comfort to those. Not cross dressing is an emotional issue for me (and many of us), and being with her seems to reduce my CDing anxieties as well, but I am not at all sure that it is related to CDing in anyway as much as I am used to feeling better in her presence due to her effect on the other anxiety sources. Well, I am not sure that is well expressed by me. . . .

Like DayT says, there's no set formula.