How did you know for sure

[rocval2001]

This thread is more for those who are HRT or post op - How did you know that there was a women inside wanting to come out. I mean how did you know for 100% sure ? [I know you feel it but how did you know it was more than cding ?]

And are you glad you made the choice ?

I was wondering on your individual situation.

Thank you - and Happy New Year

Valeri

[ToyGirl]

For me , i had no desire to live anymore. Its been five years now and im happy to be alive.

i had known something wasnt right since i was around 4 years old. CD'd on and off till i was 26 at wich time it was breaking point for me. No regrets

[rocval2001]

Thank you for your response. Have you gone thru SRS yet ? Just wondering ?

[CaptLex]

My story is long and unusual, but it boils down to this: I knew that the person looking back at me from the mirror wasn't me, and I wanted to find that guy and bring him out into the open. I started transitioning spring of 2006, so the journey is far from over - no regrets, though - I'm much happier now than I've ever been. :D

[ToyGirl]

Thank you for your response. Have you gone thru SRS yet ? Just wondering ?

No , still have some saving and mental preparation to do. (transition can be mentally taxing)

[Calliope]

I doubt I'll ever be able to afford SRS but I am pursuing HRT - jeez, these medical folks move so slow! And I'm right next door to Stanford, no less! I've been presenting and living as a woman since the summer. How did I know? I think when I showed up for my doctor's appointment, dressed to the nines, and requested HRT - well, that was a moment worth remembering.

[cindianna_jones]

How did I know? I spent the greater part of my book devoted to that very question... probing the waters, testing, and stepping back. Sooner or later, you have to make a decision and move one way or another. If it is too much for you, you step back. And on and on it goes until you do something with finality.

Short of taking your own life, there is always time to step back, look around and modify your course. But the sooner you get to where you are going, the sooner you'll be able to start living a normal life.

I met a trans woman once who spent her whole life trying to make the decision. When she finally did, the surgeons would not perform surgery on her because she was too old. How sad that was.

Chin up!

Cindi

[rocval2001]

Thank you all for your responses so far. I appreciate it deeply. There are times in my life when It feels like I am in the wrong body, THen there are times I am ok with things. I have some things I need to sort out. But I have been doing so for a long time. I hope to hear frm more of you.

Valeri

[AmandaM]

No , still have some saving and mental preparation to do. (transition can be mentally taxing)

Well, it looks like your backside has made the transition without you! :heehee:

[cindianna_jones]

Well, it looks like your backside has made the transition without you! :heehee:

I'll agree with that! She's got it right at least in one area! And believe me, that's one that most of us never have.

I don't envy any of you trying to make the decision. It is ultimately the hardest part of transition. It is pretty much the only thing that you have complete control over.

Cindi

[ToyGirl]

thank you and thank you. I wish my shoulder / hip ratio was better , hopefully this year i put some weight on.

I have a friend who lives near me that i met on a support forum early last year , she was living completely as a man at the time , married to a bueatifull wife (who has left), now about 11 months later has just returned from Thailand after SRS. I guess that makes me jealous and frustrated with my own transition taking so long. I seemed to have had more mental issues to begin with and family issues , and were as her mind was clear her family was fairly supportive and had a great network of friends. (i dont have many friends outside of the internet). She also had her own buisness and was financially able to afford the SRS.

So not all transitions are the same. My body has had alot more time to feminize , finished my laser etc long time again. Just depends if you view SRS as the defining part of transition. But like her , you can certainly have the surgery done early on in transition.

I have rarely questioned myself as to going back to living as a boy , i could never do it. To roughly quote the matrix from memory "you've been down that road , and you know where it leads"

[AmberTG]

Ya, I'd sure like to have a butt like that! My hips need to fill out a lot also. Funny thing, when my wife was a teen, she had no hips to speak of, she was a thin thing. Of course most women aren't as wide at the shoulders so she still had some proportions.

[ToyGirl]

Ya, I'd sure like to have a butt like that! My hips need to fill out a lot also. Funny thing, when my wife was a teen, she had no hips to speak of, she was a thin thing. Of course most women aren't as wide at the shoulders so she still had some proportions.

Yes most things one can complain about can be found on GG's , alot of athletic girls have broad shoulders, but it's just another male marker playing on everyones subconscious , and the less we have the better.

[SarahAnn]

In answer to the original question....
I remember way back in my first memories at infant school wishing I could be with the girls and wear the dresses they were wearing and be part of them.I played the role begrudgingly of a boy then guy for many years, but allways had an eye on womans clothes, hair do's and most things femme.
I never married or fathered any children because I had this deep feeling that something was not quite right.It was once I started to dress and accept that part of me that I started to find who I was realy.it has taken many years to deprogramme myself and feel at ease and comfortable with who Iam.Things are different now days than they where when I was 18.I am now taking all the steps to live 24/7 and change into myself and live the rest of my days as the woman I feel.
Of course this is a shortened simplified version...the inner turmoil is no longer there but that was perhaps the hardest part to deal with.Now just looking ahead rather than back.

[Maggie Kay]

I wish I could say that I even know where I stand. I recognize a relentless force inside me driving me along this path to woman. Sometimes, because of the hardships to be endured, I rebel and try to say it isn't happening. Other times, I totally embrace the concept and that is when I feel the most at peace. It doesn't last long though. Thoughts of how my family will react as I progress or that I am too old or that my business acquaintances will freak or just plain fear of doctors, bring me back to the fence. However, little by little it is happening. Every day, I progress a little bit more as if I'm on an autopilot. Surely, at some level this will level out and life can have something else besides TG/TS issues. I often wonder if I could go full time RLE if I would get there faster. One thing is for sure, I can't imagine returning to what I was before.